There is an old adage in the sports world that age serves as the greatest equalizer of all, one that cannot be outrun by any great athlete. The same goes true for all of us in one way or another. Try as we might to remain in our physical primes for as long as humanly possible, there is no escaping the reality that every single one of us, so long as tragedy does not strike, will get old. Some men choose to age gracefully and embrace what are going to inevitably be their outward appearances during the second halves of their lives.
Not all men, however, subscribe by such a theory. Some, in fact, run in the opposite direction and either ignore or cover up the fact that they are losing their natural head of hair. Here is a brief memo to all of you men out there: It is 2015, the time of the “dad bod” and of embracing your natural “bald is beautiful” self. That goes for all of you celebrity males out there who are desperately trying to hang on to what is either disappearing or already lost. Who knows? You may even like how you look once you take the drastic step and shave it all off.
10. Jason Alexander
One can somewhat understand why Jason Alexander is not yet ready to embrace his true physical nature and shave it all off. Regardless of what Alexander does during the rest of his acting career, there are going to be fans out there who will see him as George Costanza, the awkward and even dorky friend of Jerry on the legendary sitcom Seinfeld. Alexander has made more than enough cash as an actor to the point that he should not at all care with the state of his hair. At this point, not many would look at him all that differently if he just ditched the hair entirely.
9. Prince William
You are Prince William. You are royalty in the most literal of ways. You have a beautiful wife, a budding family, and a life that would be envied by just about anybody out there who has to work to make a living and pay off his bills. It is one of the worst secrets in the tabloids that your hair is not what it once was during your younger days. Of all of the people who could shave it off and also get praised for doing so, it is a man who can seemingly do no wrong in the public eye. Just get it over with and give newspaper writers something else to cover.
8. Nicolas Cage
The always-changing hairline of Nicolas Cage has made for stand-up jokes and Internet fascination for well over a decade at this point of his career. Somebody out there would likely point out that Cage diving all into the bald pool is not yet necessary because of the potential roles that he could land in the future. Besides, Cage is only 51 years old. Such concerns can be dealt with at different times with the help of a little Hollywood magic. Besides, a bald Cage could play a plethora of bad guys in action films that could potentially become summer blockbusters.
7. Billy Crystal
The thought process behind Billy Crystal not eliminating whatever is left on top of his head is that doing so would make his face appear to be even “bigger” than is already the case. While that may be a valid concern, the somewhat harsh truth is that no studio is hiring Crystal at this stage of his career for his good looks or to be the heartthrob of that project. There have, over the years, been many a joke made about Crystal’s appearance during the latter stages of his life. He really does not have anything to lose by shaving it all off in 2015.
6. Wayne Rooney
Wayne Rooney would be No. 1 atop a list of sports celebrities who should shave it all off if not for the man who is atop this list. The hair of the current Manchester United and England National Team player has been the subject of jokes, tabloid news and Internet memes for years. Good on Rooney, who will turn only 30 years old later this year, for wanting to have a full head of hair however he chooses to live that life. The footballing world has already witnessed previews of how Rooney would look bald, and it would not be all that newsworthy were he to go with the look on a permanent basis.
5. Jon Cryer
The “Two and a Half Men” actor once poked fun at his own hairline during an appearance on TBS program Conan, saying the following about the matter while at the same time pointing to his head: “This is an elaborate illusion. This is the work of several talented professionals making the most of, like, four hairs.” Cryer also joked that shoe polish was used to fill in what could have been some noticeable holes in the hairline. You have to give the guy credit for having a sense of humor about it, but he does not need any remaining hair at this point.
Bono is rock and music royalty, one of the most famous men walking on the planet who is recognized just about every time that he walks outside. He has seen it all and done it all in the industry. The music icon is in his mid-50s and still going strong, and Bono and band U2 are still filling stadiums wherever they play. Of course there were going to be bloggers and others out there who were going to notice when Bono was beginning to show signs of balding. Thousands upon thousands of fans will still spend boatloads of money to see Bono live and in-person even if he has no hair.
3. Jamie Foxx
There have, over the years, been several words used to describe the changing conditions that have been occurring on the dome of superstar actor and entertainer Jamie Foxx. “Sorcery” may be the best of the bunch. Foxx has played many roles during his tremendous career, and we have already seen him without any hair on top. The world did not stop spinning, nor did the gigs and opportunities stop being presented to Foxx upon the release of those pictures. Some out there would probably suggest that Foxx would look even better were he just to embrace the baldness.
2. Hulk Hogan
The battle between Hulk Hogan and his receding hairline has been going on since the 1980s when it first became noticeable that Hogan was not covering up portions of his head just for fun. He is the biggest star in the history of the pro wrestling business, one who helped build the World Wrestling Federation and one who had a hand in making World Championship Wrestling the biggest promotion in the world for a time. Hogan will also be 62 years old by the end of summer 2015. Is there really anybody out there who would think less of the Hulkster if he just shaved it off?
1. LeBron James
The status of the hairline belonging to LeBron James has been a favorite Internet meme among NBA fans for years, largely because James is the most famous basketball player on the planet. LeBron’s hair has, over time, seemed to have the magical ability to recede and then regenerate “all on its own” as if nobody would notice what was happening. Your fans will still be there to have your back, King James, if you just shave it all off and move on. The move worked for Michael Jordan, and it also would for James. Heck, he could even make a “Decision” spoof out of shaving his head.
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