Sex is an extremely intimate act. Perhaps it’s the most intimate and revealing experience that two people can ever share together. However, what usually happens is that the act of lovemaking ends up becoming a one-sided affair. Either one person is too dominant, too shy, too quiet or too selfish – and the laundry list goes on and on. The following article is addressed to all the guys out there. We are trying to help you take your sexual experience to the next level; both for your sake and your partner’s as well. Below are 10 questions you can ask yourself to gauge whether you’re scoring an “A” or failing miserably when it comes to sex with your partner. We hope that the majority of readers won't be able to agree with all of the questions, three at most. This is not so much a quiz but 10 helpful points that should clue you in to your sexual performance, sometimes we need a little nudge for us to wake up and start trying our best.
Read on below:
10 Are you totally ignoring foreplay?
There is a certain natural order to things in this world. You crawl before you walk, you jog before you sprint, you have appetizers before the main meal and so on and so forth. It’s the same with sex – foreplay is extremely important, and dare we say, it’s just as important as actual intercourse. Take your time and focus on the kissing, caressing and everything else. Let things take their natural course and don’t be so quick to get to the deed.
9 Are you kissing your partner during sex?
So here is the problem with a lot of guys; they look at sex from the “scoring bases” point of view. It’s all about moving from 1st base to 2nd base and then finally going all the way for the main score. That’s why, when guys are having sex, they often forget about sensually kissing their partners during intercourse. Your sexual partner might not be telling you this, but trust us, she really notices. So, if you want to take your sexual experience to the next level, try showing your partner some love with some sensual kissing and caressing during intercourse.
8 Are you going to far?
When guys (and girls) are immersed into the throes of sex, things can sometimes get a little rough as they let some fantasies come into play. Some guys might even indulge in some biting on the more sensual zones. However, it’s important to truly consider the safety and comfort of your partner at all times. Something as simple as asking “Is it okay if I try this?” will suffice. The overarching concept here is making sure that both partners feel safe and secure during the entire sexual experience.
7 Are you ignoring key spots?
Most guys tend to be very pedantic and pedestrian when it comes to their sexual habits. They usually just focus on one or two erogenous zones (the main ones). However, there are so many sensual zones on a woman; behind her ears, her neck, the small of her back, her feet, etc. If you want to avoid the moniker of being a selfish lothario, do your homework on finding your partner's different arousal areas. She will love you more because of it.
6 Are you crushing her?
So what is the most common sexual position of all? The answer to that is of course: Missionary Style. But here’s the problem with that sexual position. The guy is on top and he is usually much bigger and heavier than his female partner. So guys, here is a word of advice, please don’t crush your lover with your entire body weight. Balance yourself in a way that you don’t crush her ribs while you are caught up in the passionate act of lovemaking. This is great advice and it’s the right thing to do.
5 Are you finishing too soon?
Some guys may be finishing up way too early and ending the sex party before it even starts for their female partner. That’s highly inconsiderate and it makes the entire sexual experience a one-sided affair. For some, finishing quickly cannot be controlled, but in that case work on ways to avoid this, or spend time on her afterwards. Then there is also the other side of the spectrum; some guys take too much time to finish and continue long after their partner has “gone dry” – so to speak. Even though, sex is best when it’s spontaneous, it’s important to practice some sexual control so both of you finish at the same time. Remember, it’s always a two-way street.
4 Are you treating sex like an adult film?
This is one sexual faux pas that most guys are committing without even knowing it. It occurs mostly because of the copious amounts of online adult entertainment that men consume. Because of this, when they get to making love to their wives or girlfriends, they consciously or unconsciously emulate things they see online. But remember, most of these people who act in adult films are doing it as a job and there is no love and sensuality involved. There is a reason sex is also called “love making.” It’s important to be warm, caring and considerate with your sexual partner. If she wants to steam things up with toys or role playing that's great but make sure this is a mutual decision.
3 Are you being a quiet passenger?
When you are having sex with your partner, do you go into your own silent world and not utter a word until the sex is over? If this is your method, that’s a big mistake. Sex is best and most enjoyed when there is open communication and both partners are fully involved – both physically and vocally. If you are enjoying something she is doing, tell her – or let her know how good it feels and how sexy she is. All these little details add up into making the sex an enjoyable experience for all.
2 Are you too much?
Okay, so before we go further, let’s make this point clear. Guys tend to get into the act of sex and just go at it robotically as if they were human jackhammers. Show a little compassion and warmth, and get into a natural rhythm with your sexual partner this will also help the both of you connect. We think this is one piece of advice that multitudes of women out there would deeply appreciate.
1 Do you completely shut down after the act?
When it comes to sex, most guys seem to ascribe to the “Wham bam, thank-you ma’am” school of thought. By this, we mean that when intercourse is over, guys tend to shut down completely. They don’t cuddle, they don’t speak a word, and they just fall asleep. It’s almost as if nothing happened at all. Guys, this is not the way to act. Acknowledge your partner after sex, and you might notice a marked increase in the amount of times your girlfriend/wife wants to have sex with you.
If you answered yes to more than 3 of these questions, it's time to start thinking about the other person.