Women who have never been pregnant think that pregnancy is something to be dreaded thoroughly. Who wants to get a bloated tummy, swollen hands and feet, and not be able to fit into their slim-fitting clothes for nine whole months? Then of course, there are the pains of hours-long labor, epidurals, and a nerve-wracking delivery that does a number on your back. Let’s not even get into the whole excruciating process of losing the baby weight.
But women who have gotten pregnant can easily assure those who have not that it’s not all that bad. In fact, there are a lot of good things that can come out of gaining tons of pounds and waddling around like a duck with a baby inside your tummy. You’re given special treatment by the people around you, afforded the same privileges as those with handicaps. So why not enjoy (and even abuse!) the power being pregnant entitles you to? No one can hold it against you!
12 You announce it on social media and expect people to comment
When you see that positive sign on your pregnancy test, the first thing you do is take a photo of the little stick, log on to Facebook, and post the photo with the caption, “Most awesome news ever!” or something to that effect. According to a June 2014 feature article on lifestyle website rantlifestyle.com, expectant mothers who post their latest pregnancy status on social media, do so because they expect an influx of responses and comments, congratulating them profusely. And no one would want to be that jerk of a friend who didn’t bother to offer her well wishes, even though she couldn’t care less about her friend’s pregnancy!
11 You get to blow off tons of money on maternity clothes
You’re definitely going to slowly balloon in those nine months so you obviously won’t be able to fit into your skinny jeans and figure-hugging dresses for long. You’ll need a whole new wardrobe for each stage your belly grows. And that only means one thing: shopping for mounds of maternity clothes, never mind the cost! And your husband or partner can’t say anything about it. As mentioned in the rantlifestyle.com article, “no explanation needed here.” It’s one of the things you’re entitled to.
10 Your loved ones are obliged to shower you and your baby with gifts
One of the best things about being pregnant is the numerous baby showers your groups of friends and relatives throw you. You get tons of gifts not just for your baby, but for yourself, too, the best ones being spa gift certificates or massage oils and anything really that can give you a good pampering. To quote the rantlifestyle.com article, “Being pregnant is like a nine-month Christmas.”
9 Everyone is expected to make way for you
People take one look at your bulging stomach and automatically give you a wide berth. Whether it’s crossing the street or walking through a crowd, people treat you like a delicate flower and give you tons of leeway to waddle through. You can literally stop traffic, as humorously mentioned in rantlifestyle.com, so take your time and walk as leisurely as you please! The same goes for when you’re in need of a seat. As an entry on mommy-centric blog pregnantchicken.com so eloquently put it, it’s awesome to attend a family gathering and not have to battle it out for a chair with one of your relatives. And of course, pregnant ladies don’t have to line up—you’re immediately ushered to the front of the line!
8 You can lay off on the heavy chores
The minute you carry a heavy item like a filled-to-the-brim laundry basket or a vacuum cleaner, everyone screams for you to put the darn thing down and just sit back and relax. Your chores are relegated to switching on the dish washer or some other menial task. Furthermore, the rantlifestyle.com article says that as a pregnant lady, you’re expected to nap as long as you like—all day if possible! That way, you can just focus on your pregnancy and leave the daunting tasks of running the household to someone who isn’t pregnant.
7 You can flaunt your physical assets
For small-chested women, it’s a joy to discover that your cup size increases along with your burgeoning belly. So this gives you a great opportunity to flaunt your new assets shamelessly, according to rantlifestyle.com. You can wear low-cut blouses and v-neck shirts and bikini tops that show off your newly developed cleavage and no one can accuse you of looking like you’re about to seduce anyone because hey, you’re pregnant! You’re just enjoying your current (though most of the time temporary) curves!
6 People are forced to be nice to you
Pregnancy hormones can make any gestating woman act like a crazy bitch. You can go from laughing to crying to angry to pensive in a matter of minutes. And no one can hold it against you because they know you’re pregnant. In fact, they have no choice but to be nice to you, according to the rantlifestyle.com article. So you have every excuse to chew their heads off or hurl insults at them. There isn’t anything they should be hurling right back at you without them looking like insensitive pricks.
5 You have the right to get your food cravings satisfied at any given time
Pregnancy can bring out the strangest food cravings for pregnant women, at least in the first trimester. And your husband has no choice but to appease your cravings, no matter how unreasonable. So whether it’s a burger and fries at the height of a snow blizzard or Ben and Jerry’s half-baked ice cream (which was used as an example in the rantlifestyle.com article) at four in the morning, the husband has to get up and buy it for you. No complaints, no questions asked.
4 No one can bother you while you’re on maternity leave
For working girls, becoming pregnant means one thing: getting to go on maternity leave. The length of maternity leave varies per country and in places like Canada, Australia, and Germany, women get a full year off. So that’s a year of not having to think about the tons of work that you’re normally buried in. And since the company usually gets a temporary replacement while you’re away, your colleagues don’t bombard you with phone calls or emails on work-related matters.
3 You can get out of social engagements easily
As mentioned in a blog entry on pregnantchicken.com, “I don’t feel up to it” is considered a valid excuse to get out of anything. If you have an upcoming wedding or children’s birthday party or a work event you have to attend, you can always use your pregnancy to feign fatigue and skip out on the engagement completely. Pregnancy tends to bear down on you physically after all and no one would dare hold it against you if you beg off from a commitment.
2 You get dibs on all the food
Since you’re eating for two, you’re expected to stuff yourself silly whenever necessary. So you’re supposed to eat a lot, according to an entry on pregnantchicken.com. People around you are constantly handing you platefuls of food to down on to your heart’s content. And when there’s a small portion left of a delicious dish staring you in the face at the table, everyone automatically gives you that last piece even if they want it too. And they’re not allowed to whine about it because they’re not pregnant!
1 If you forget something, you can blame it on the pregnancy
It’s a known fact that gestating women can suffer from pregnancy brain. Although there have been studies that say this is actually a myth, as mentioned in a blog entry on pregnantchicken.com, pregnant women certainly use it as a good excuse for lapses in memory. If you don’t get to call your mom for her birthday or show up at a meeting or fail to pack your husband his lunch, you can just smile and sheepishly say, “Sorry. Pregnancy brain!” And that’s guaranteed to shut them up.