Have you ever gone out on a first date and wished you could abort the mission the minute you connected in person? A negative first impression is one thing, but someone who causes you to look at the time every five minutes just waiting for your escape is something else. What's almost as bad is having high hopes and watching the date dissolve into first date hell, which is what happened to many whose date stories we are presenting today.
You're probably thinking we are going to give you the typical "she talked too much" or "was a big tease". But the most horrifying first dates we've read about go far beyond the typical anecdote or even far-reaching imagination, at least as far as we're concerned.
Take a peek at the dirt we've come up with and see how it compares to your worse date ever scenarios.
James Young told AskMen this little story about one of his craziest first dates. When Young and his date innocently fed a puppy some bread while at a local restaurant, they were quickly approached by a security guard who insisted the dog be taken off the premises. Instead of explaining that it was not their dog, Young's date got mouthy with the guard and then somewhat stormed inside the restaurant. A bit later, he and his friends heard glass breaking and before he knew it, his date was getting arrested. He pretended not to know her until he walked by as she was being handcuffed while lying flat against the hood of the police car. His final remark and likely fib, "I'll call you" was priceless.
10 Pills And Bills
This one comes from Julieanne who was taken to Tomkins Square Park (NYC) on her first date with a guy who seemed really nice. There was a dog parade taking place that day and the couple followed the parade with brunch, where they could get a chance to sit and talk. Without waiting too long, her date decided to confess that he was unable to release sexually (if you know what we mean) because of the Prozac he was taking. If that wasn't bad enough he also asked that she foot the bill because he was jobless and broke.
9 Weirdest Ditch Ever
Ashley was on a great date with this guy who asked her to come over and watch a movie after dinner. The couple went to his place to watch the movie and all was fine. They were drinking wine and having a great time when he told her he was stepping out for a minute to have a cigarette. More than a few minutes went by when she decided to text him to see if he was okay. Not only was he ok but after 10 minutes he replied telling her he had decided to go to bed. Ditching her in his apartment, Ashley decided to let herself out, quietly not to wake him. Needless to say they never went out again.
8 The Gassy Date
We found a very unique story in awfulfirstdates.com, that we're sure you will enjoy. It all started when this woman and man met at a club and began texting to one another afterwards and days later. After a while, the couple agreed to meet for coffee to get to know one another more. Once on the date, they began exchanging typical first date information about their families, favorite lifestyle habits and sports, when the guy decides to share a little too much information. Not the typical information one would share with someone they were trying to impress.
He then divulges that he always farts when in a car... a restaurant... and just about every time he sits down. The story goes on to quote this gaseous Romeo as saying, "Actually, I need to fart right now." You can guess the end of that story. She left as soon as humanly possible after being subjected to his quite loud gaseous release in the middle of a restaurant.
7 Let's Improvise
Anna reported to Cosmopolitan magazine about one of her worst first dates ever and it is definitely worth repeating. Evidently, while on this first date, Anna and her date discussed the fun and import of improv. She had taken an improv class in college and he was very much into improv at the time. After learning of their mutual improv enjoyment, the guy insisted they play an improv game for 30 minutes. Although she was annoyed, she played. Yet, we all know that no one likes a mama's boy, and while playing the game he wanted her to "play" his mother. Mother and date never equate and is enough to start the mommy-date running fast and far away.
6 Hospital Date
This date has got to be one of the all-time lows. This woman, who shared her story with awfulfirstdates.com, agreed to go out on a date with a man she met online. They were to meet at dinner, which surely sounds typical and harmless enough. Yet, we all know online dating runs the full gamut, so it is no big surprise when she received a text hours later telling her that he was in the hospital. He then asked her to come to the hospital for a visit. Thinking he had gotten hurt in an accident between the time the date was set up and now, she agreed. What she learned was that he had tried to commit suicide because he found out his wife wanted a divorce. No small wonder, mister - a wife can get a little tired of her husband making dates online. Plus, when his family came to visit, he introduced her as his girlfriend.
5 Bad Planner
In a funny story published in cosmopolitan.com, Kathryn D. had a first date who was, evidently, a very sensitive man. She was asked out on a date to the park, and she thought it a great idea, so they went. However, after a while it was clear that the man had no idea of how to plan a date, as they roamed and wandered about without any destination or follow-up in mind. Shortly thereafter, she suggested going to a nearby cafe to have a coffee. But he was crushed at the suggestion. He immediately overreacted and started trashing himself for not thinking ahead. He was quoted as saying, "I'm so stupid! This was such a dumb idea. I knew I should have planned something else. Ugh. I hate myself." Oh boy.
4 A Long Way Home
Ruben shared an interesting and funny story with AskMen about a first date with a very insecure woman. He did not suspect a thing when he and his date went to dinner and a party afterwards. They both had a few drinks at the party, so they were feeling pretty loose. They went back to her house with hopes set pretty high. Unfortunately, she had a serious flash of negative body image responses and insecurity about her appearance went from a zero to a ten. She wound up dashing into her bathroom crying about being too ugly. Finally, the crying woke up her mother. So he decided to leave on the fly, but then realized he had left half of his belongings, including his shirt, in the bathroom.
As he left shirtless, the mother handed him his wallet. He had to hoof it the three miles home at 3:00 a.m. because the woman was his ride.
3 Baby Talk
This story comes from Kristin who submitted her story to Marie Claire magazine. Kristin had decided to give this guy a chance that she had met online. They went out for drinks and everything was going well, he was charming and was very attractive. Things went so well that she agreed to go on another date with him, this time to a nice steakhouse. The second date is where things took a turn for the worse. While out for dinner and on his third martini, he began to speak to her in a baby voice, asking her questions like ' do you want a kissy-wissy?' Then once the steaks arrived he reached over to begin cutting hers for her. That is when she decided to head to the washroom to collect her thoughts and he asked ( yes this is true) if she needed help wiping? While in the washroom and planning her escape route her waitress walked in and said ' miss your date just placed a pacifier on your plate, I would use the back door to leave.'
2 Too Much Too Soon
One of the sweetest, yet creepiest, first date stories was written up in awfulfirstdates.com. To hear it, one would think that nice guys do finish last. A woman decided to go on a date with someone she met over the internet. She didn't know much about him other than the fact that this guy played the bass guitar in a band. No harm, no foul at that point. She met him at the appointed restaurant and was surprised when the waiter walked her to a table that was in a private area where the floor and table were covered in rose petals. This unique forethought would normally thrill a woman, right? Yet as she approached the table, she found out that he had also written a song for her. In fact, he was prepared to perform it and proceeded to sing so loudly that everyone in the restaurant could hear. She was so mortified at this first date behavior that it sent her running in the other direction.
1 The Deadly Date
When Daniel Czegeny went on a date with a new woman, it went from good to bad to worse. Apparently what happened, according to his story on AskMen, is that when he and his date decided to partake in a coffee and walk along the river, things became pretty steamy. But during their make out session, they heard sounds of a party going on at a nearby pub and saw some of the guys going into the river for a swim. Within minutes, they heard shouts of one of the swimmers in trouble, as he was drowning. His friends were too plastered to be of any help. Unfortunately Daniel had a fear of the water and instead of jumping in to help the flailing guy, he tried to find help while his date was hysterical. Needless to say, the guy drowned, making this the world's worse first date ever.