We’re a narcissistic bunch. We all want to look our best—to hang on to that youthful glow for as long as possible. From our noses to the lines on our foreheads, there’s always something that we feel we could improve upon—regardless of what we look like. Even the people who seem like they’ve got it all—looks, fame and fortune, sometimes opt for a little plastic surgery here and there, often ending with tragic results. Take Heidi Montag, who now looks like a doll. Or the girl with the lips (you know the one). While we’re not sure if they meant to come out looking like cartoon versions of themselves, we’re pretty sure that certain celebrities looked better before they went under the knife. While plastic surgery can work wonders for those who have suffered from tragic accidents, using surgery as a method to keep a death-like grip on one’s youth doesn’t seem to be working for these celebrities, who, tragically, have just ended up looking like they’ve had bad plastic surgery. You know the look: bloated face, fish lips and shiny foreheads. While minor procedures can definitely make a difference (ahem Demi Moore), going full monty seems to produce a consistent fail.
Here are ten celebrities who have ended up looking worse for the wear after opting for plastic surgery—allegedly, of course:
10 Meg Ryan
Once America’s sweetheart, Meg Ryan hasn’t been on camera in awhile. The former queen of quality rom-com classics When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle looks…well…tired? In an effort to hang on to the angelic looks that had all of us wishing for curls and a button nose, Ryan seems to have opted for plastic surgery, although the former star has yet to comment on whether or not she has gone under the knife. Apparently Ryan has made a conscious effort to stay out of the spotlight, but we think that might be because absolutely nothing will ever top her performance in Top Gun.
9 Priscilla Presley
Poor Priscilla Presley. Once a natural beauty, the late King of Rock’s wife tried to hang on to her good looks by indulging in a little plastic surgery. Unfortunately she put her face in the hands of the bogus “Dr.” Daniel Serrano. The Argentinian surgeon did not have a license to practice in the states, but somehow still managed to build-up a pretty high profile clientele (including Larry King’s wife). The good doctor was basically injecting over the counter ingredients into people’s faces, resulting in holes, lumps and paralysis. While he has since been jailed and deported, Priscilla’s face has yet to recover.
8 Lara Flynn Boyle
We’re really not surprised if you have no idea who Lara Flynn Boyle is, since she’s borderline unrecognizable. What you need to know is that she used to be really pretty. As in painfully so. These days, the Twin Peaks star, who has not admitted to having plastic surgery, kind of looks like a bobble head version of her old self. Her face has taken on a puffy quality, which one might attribute to weight gain, except for the fact that she is still very thin. While the pressure to stay young and vibrant in Hollywood is a very real thing, there’s no doubt that Boyle would have looked better if she had just left things alone.
7 Donatella Versace
Long hair, don’t care. Which is pretty much how Donatella Versace feels about what people think of her face any day of the week. The legendary designer, whose collections are as well known as that trout pout, has been open about her appearance, explaining that her looks aren’t genetic. No kidding—she looks like a wax doll that’s about to come undone, which probably has a bit to do with Botox, laser resurfacing and fillers. Either way, we are still in awe of the pop culture icon’s platinum blond hair and kohl eyeliner. Even if her face is slowly becoming a bit of a melting pot. And even if she kind of reminds us of Gollum. Or any other number of Lord of the Rings characters.
6 Janice Dickinson
One of the few celebrities to openly embrace plastic surgery, Janice Dickinson has had countless surgeries. The original supermodel has confessed to a brow lift, a tummy tuck, a face lift, breast enhancement and the use of fillers. We especially love that the former supermodel turned reality star has even undergone surgery to fix 30-year-old breast implants (on a reality show, of course). Surgery to fix her surgery. Turns out that her family isn’t on board—her son has pleaded with her to stop the procedures. We figure he’s just terrified that his mother is going to turn into a real-life version of a Futurama character.
5 Carrot Top
First, let’s just say it. It’s pretty obvious when someone has had extensive plastic surgery. A slight adjustment to the nose, or a minor breast enhancement can be harder to spot, but when a person has gone to town on their face, giving it that swollen, caked over appearance, it’s pretty hard to deny those trips to the surgeon. Carrot Top, born Scott Thompson, doesn’t attribute his facial transformation to plastic surgery. The comedian, who was once fresh-faced and freckled, has since taken on the appearance of a defunct Chucky doll, with the body of a WWE wrestler. But the actor, who is worth upwards of 75 million, attributes his looks to working out, a diffuser, and tons of makeup and mousse. Right.
4 Lil’ Kim
From dating her mentor Biggie Smalls and being hailed at the best female rap artist of all time, Lil’ Kim has come a long way from the seductive rap star that she once was. And we don’t mean that because her musical talent has devolved—it hasn’t. It is because the New York native is unrecognizable. The 40-year-old singer, who was the only female member of Junior M.A.F.I.A., seems to have morphed into an Asian version of herself. She has denied having had plastic surgery, and we will respect that, but, seriously? We hear that she’s touchy about the subject, so we’ll lay off it, but if anyone hasn’t had plastic surgery, it probably isn’t the “Put Your Lighters Up” songstress.
3 3. Bruce Jenner
The former Olympian opted for plastic surgery in the eighties, which resulted in a botched nose job—at the time, he also decided on a partial facelift. The father of six (well, ten really, if you count his four stepchildren) has since tried to correct the original work, and is reportedly feeling a little better about his appearance. According to People magazine, the Keeping Up with the Kardashians star allegedly underwent a tracheal shave. So we’re guessing that the former gold medalist isn’t finished with the fix-up just yet.
2 Jocelyn Wildenstein
While this woman wasn’t a celebrity when she decided to go under the knife, she certainly is today. Originally from Switzerland, Jocelyn Wildenstein, or as you might know her, the ‘cat woman, ’ used to be quite beautiful, before her marriage to billionaire Alec N. Wildenstein provided her with more money than sense. Originally bonding over a love of big cats (their first date consisted of hunting a lion, as most first dates do), the couple has since divorced, despite Jocelyn’s attempts to appear more feline. We hear that the 70-something divorcee has since invested in reductive surgery and is looking more human these days.
1 Renée Zellweger
We can’t say it with absolute certainty, but the Jerry Maguire actress looks a little different. Right? The Texan native, who is of Norwegian descent, is looking considerably wider-eyed and smooth-skinned these days, although she claims that changes are simply the result of a healthier lifestyle and getting older. The Oscar winner still looks stunning, but she certainly doesn’t look like the Renée Zellweger a.k.a. Bridget Jones we all know and love—and certainly not the one that makes us all feel a little more human.