Dudes have been trying to figure out what women want since prehistoric times. Men have tried an untold number of tactics to get to the root of this enigma, sometimes with major success. Unfortunately, the failures are usually astoundingly, hysterically bad, leaving each new generation of men desperate to find out how to get and keep a woman. Every guy has a buddy that thought he knew what a girl wanted only to feel that awful sting of humiliation when she turns him down. Sorry fellas, it is all a part of nature.
Part of what makes it so difficult to pin this down is because women can be so different from each other in their likes, dislikes, wants, needs, and experiences. Even a group of girlfriends will almost always prefer different types of men. Some will like tall guys, but her friend may not even care how tall he is because she is so short, everyone seems tall to her.
Just as soon as men think they have it figured out, it seems like it changes, too. Millions of men have spent countless hours watching romantic movies, reading women’s magazines, and talking to their sisters to figure out what the hell they are supposed to do in order to catch a girl. The problem is as soon as a man figures it out, what she wants tends to change, starting the whole frustrating process all over again.
But never fear, after 45 minutes of agonizing research, the 10 most irresistible types of men have been identified, categorized, and compiled for everyone to see.
10 The Brainiac
It is extremely important to know that dumb guys will almost never, ever get girls. Smart guys will always have women lined up, jockeying for his attention. The reason for this is because all of the time that men and women are not spending between the sheets are spent eating, talking, or watching movies. Basically, she is forced to talk to him. So, when she turns to him and asks him what he thinks about the world economy, if his answer is, “sucks, bro” ... she will not be overly impressed.
For brainiacs, not only will they have something interesting to say, they may be able to convince other people what they have to say is interesting, making it more likely they will make more money and be able to take care of any babies those two may end up creating on accident or on purpose.
9 The Jerk
The disclaimer for The Jerk is that this guy can usually get women, but he cannot usually keep them for long. Eventually, his behaviour tends to get the best of him and, unsurprisingly, women refuse to be treated like dirt for too long. But when push comes to shove, The Jerk is often very wildly successful. Unlike The Jerk’s cousin, The Douchebag, The Jerk does not usually have to wear silk shirts or drive expensive cars. Anybody can be a jerk if they try just hard enough.
The Jerk tends to keep women guessing. She often wonders, “will he call?” or “what did he mean when he said that my sister was pretty?” This kind of uncertainty can be exciting, at least initially, for women. Plus, there is nothing better than a woman being able to tell her friends that it was her love that reformed a jerk into a guy that worships her.
8 Mr. Fix-It
Quick, name five women who have their own home improvement show? Nothing? Ok, quick, name five women who like to fix plumbing problems or who can install a roof themselves? No dice, huh? Despite all of the sexist undertones of this particular section, the fact is that women either prefer not to or are not included when it comes to the idea of being handy.
For a lot of women, they just do not like to get their hands dirty. A manicure can cost them $60 and they are not going to run it by trying to install a new water heater. So, if a man can figure out ways to crank the engine in her car, it may get her engine cranking too.
7 The Hero
For so many little boys, their only goal in life is to be really important to other people. Just ask a room filled with seven-year-old boys what they want to do for a living and right away some common themes will show up. Things like “firefighter” or “police officer” tend to dominate the conversation. What do all of these professions have in common? People look at them like heroes.
Women love heroes, too. It is so much easier for her to sleep at night knowing that the guy she is sleeping next to knows how to save people from a fire or shoot at criminals who break into the house. The guys who scream louder than she does at the sight of blood? He sleeps alone.
6 The Manager
Of course, the term “manager” is just a synonym for “power.” There are countless stories of men in powerful positions who are pulling women strictly because of their status. The weird part is that he does not even need to be super powerful to be irresistible to women. Yes, Barack Obama could probably have whoever he wanted, but even the manager at the local fried chicken joint has a better chance at getting close to that new girl than the guy who is still manning the french fries.
A powerful man is able to make things happen. He has resources that other men do not have, making her life a bit easier. Should she ever decide to quit that fried chicken place, she knows that his power and money will help her continue to lead a comfortable lifestyle. Now, who wants some fried chicken?
5 The Guy That Is Like Her Dad
Admittedly, this is probably one of the creepier types of guys that women find irresistible. However, there is good reason why the Guy That Is Like Her Dad falls within the top 10 on the list. Basically, women go for men that are like their father.
Just think about it. Men tend to go for women that are just like their moms, right? If his mom was a great cook and he finds a woman who knows her way around an oven, he will marry her instantly. Conversely, if her dad worked 80 hours a week at the oil rig to support his family, she will probably be more attracted to the guy who is working 70 hours a week down on the docks. It is a comfort and familiarity thing. Nothing more. Hopefully.
4 The Artist
Jay Z will probably admit that he is not the most handsome guy in the world. His face is gigantic. He has a thick Brooklyn accent. His eyes kind of bug out from his head, to top it all off. But who is Jay Z married to? Beyonce. The one woman who would probably have most guys killed for even looking her direction.
The big reason for this is because Jay Z is one of the most influential artists of the past 20 years. Like most artists, he lives a passionate, unpredictable life that is surely to get even the most responsible women swept up. The advice here is that even if art does not interest you at all, just pretend that it does, talk passionately about stuff, and soon a Beyonce look-alike may come your way.
3 The Already Taken Guy
Single guys have it tough. The first thing they have to tell a woman they want is that absolutely nobody else in the world wants to date him. Nobody. He spends his Saturday nights Googling pictures of Shakira. He spends his Sunday mornings shaking off his hangover. He spends the rest of his week crying into his pillow. Not surprisingly, women do not want that.
Now, when he says, “I’m married,” “I have a girlfriend,” or even “I’m seeing someone,” then her eyes may light up. The reason is because women use other women to vet whether a guy is even worth her time. If there is a woman who has decided to give up a big portion of her life and independence to be with a guy, she is signaling to all the other women, “There’s a high probability he showers at least once a day and has a bank account.” Boom. Irresistible.
2 The Rich Guy
The reason the Rich Guy ends up so high on the list is because he is usually a combo of any one of the previous eight different kinds of guys. For example, Bob Villa is a guy who is rich and who is a Mr. Fix-It. Jay-Z is rich and The Artist. Bill Gates is the Brainiac and the Rich Guy rolled into one.
For women, they know that if a man can end up rich, there is a good chance that he has some other qualities that are not likely to make her throw up in her mouth. The Rich Guy can get her into the nicest neighborhoods, their kids into the best schools, and allow her to shop until she drops without worrying about bills. Cha-ching.
1 The Comedian
Above all else, funny guys will always have the most success with women. The Comedian can light up a woman’s life like nobody else can. The Comedian is often much more clever, honest, self-aware, and sensitive than other men. Science even says that nearly 80% of women find a sense of humor to be their most desired quality. Do you think she finds those qualities to be irresistible?
It makes sense too. Everyone loves someone who is funny. How often does that dull friend who never gets the punchline to a joke get invited for drinks? Almost never. Now, how often does that hilarious guy get invited for drinks? How often does he get called for his opinion on things? How excited are people to hang out with him? If there is any reason this guy is never alone, the answer was there all along.