Skittles has a new Valentine’s Day themed flavor mix, and they’ve given it a name that doesn’t exactly inspire consumption.
In fact, it sounds pretty frickin’ gross.
Skittles have called their latest holiday-themed flavor concoction “Love Mix” in honor of Valentine’s Day, a day filled with as much candy consumption as it is card giving and desperately begging forgiveness from your significant other for forgetting the holiday existed.
“Love Mix” as a name seems to evoke several emotions. On the one end, you have the idea of a “mixer”, where single people meet and eventually form polygamous relationships with no concept of privacy (which tastes good, according to HBO). On the other end, you get the impression it’s going to taste like the after-effects of a good love-making session, which although certainly pleasurable to create, isn’t exactly something anyone wants to eat when they’re done making it.
Wrigley, the makers of Skittles along with tons of other convenience-store candy, decided to break the news of their questionably named concoction on Instagram.
Junk Banter broke the news describing the new mixes six flavors. "Day 3 of “I’m Trying to Find Love in the Candy Aisle” takes us to the new Skittles Love Mix at Target! Flavors are Strawberry, Cherry, Watermelon, Yumberry (wtf is that?!) and White Grape. Five different flavors designed to love me? Oh boy, my first sixsome! (I am a virgin.)"
We’ll skip past the obvious problem of trying to lose your virginity in the candy aisle and focus on the interesting new flavor: “Yumberry”? Are candy makers even trying to create naturally tasting sweets anymore?
Another Instagram junk food account, Candy Hunting, had this to say about the new Skittles: "New Skittles Love Mix is out now! Flavors include Watermelon, White Grape, Yumberry, Strawberry, and Cherry. The White Grape flavor makes me wish these were all wine flavors rather than another Skittles mix of various fruits. Anyway, found them at Target."
One thinks that those with partners to impress would go out and buy white wine rather than “wine flavored” candy.
For the rest of us single people, Valentine’s day has a plethora of bad-for-you foods to look forward to, including Reese's Peanut Butter Love Bugs, Hershey's Cupcake Kisses, and Dove Milk Chocolate & Caramel Love Notes.