In what must be one of the most bizarre examples of diversification imaginable, porn site RedTube has launched a line of holiday greeting cards.
The site of a distinctly adult nature, which receives over 20 million visitors a day, has introduced a line of 20 cards - one for each million visitors it receives. The cards cover all the major holidays, including Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and Mother’s Day, and also covers special occasions such as Birthdays and Graduation.
The “Speak From The Heart” line, as it is being called, features a seemingly innocuous, old-timey picture on the cover, only to be supplanted with innuendo after peaking inside.
“Think of us as the sexy alternative to Hallmark,” says RedTube VP Alex Taylor. “At their core, greeting cards were made to make people smile, and we believe RedTube's new selection will do just that... and a whole lot more.”
RedTube has a card for every occasion. "You've helped me grow, spiritually and emotionally... and thanks to your other skills, physically," reads one card with a completely innocent flower motif on the front.
Wondering what to get Mom for Mother’s Day? RedTube’s card might be worth a chuckle, reading, “Mom, you've taught me everything I know... so for Mother's Day, let me teach you how to erase your browsing history on the family computer."
Or how about something for a lecherous father to a recently-legal daughter? “Just because you're 18... Doesn't mean you're too old for a good spanking."
But sometimes you just have to go with the classics and tell it how it is. “Age doesn't matter, but size does, wink wink!"
Alex closes out his pitch with, "In an age of disappointing online dating apps, we all have that friend who has fallen on ‘hard’ times, or perhaps, you know someone with an 18th birthday around the corner; either way, you can now give them a lift with a perfectly matched RedTube card.”
RedTube’s “Speak From The Heart” line of cards are available now on their website for order or for download as a .PDF at $5.00 each. The cards are out just in time for Father’s Day, so be sure to get one and give ‘ol Dad a hearty laugh.