American breakfast giant Denny’s has a new mascot, and we’re all wondering exactly who thought this particular design would be a good idea.
The new mascot is a mottled brown, slightly textured, and tubular in shape. If that sounds a little like what you may have passed this morning, then you’re not far off.
The Dennys turd is here with lunch pic.twitter.com/uoqLsi2xzt
— AmericanPropagandist (@ArmyStrang) September 9, 2017
There’s a rather unfortunate resemblance to South Park’s Mr. Hanky character, only with a fedora instead of a Santa hat. We guess this turd is supposed to represent the American everyman? If so, Denny’s has a pretty terrible view of America.
Things get worse when you go to the Denny’s website and see just what they were trying to go for. They’ve created an ensemble cast of anthropomorphic breakfast foods that, while not as distinctly turd-like as the sausage, still seem generally terrifying.We know we’d like to start my day with a hefty dose of terror.
Also of note, while I’m sure those glasses in the pancake’s disturbing hands are supposed to be maple syrup, they sure do look a lot like beer steins. Top it off with the trucker cap and I guess the pancake is supposed to represent a redneck alcoholic since he’s having a beer for breakfast. This just keeps getting better and better.
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Don’t believe us? Well, maybe you should check out one of Denny’s many informative gifs on the matter. If this doesn’t look like a pancake that’s blackout drunk, then I don’t know what is.
But back to the sausage mascot, We’re pretty sure Denny’s is aware of its turd-like appearance. In one inexplicable gif on Denny’s website, he can be seen shouting his desire for corn.
Now, why would a sausage need corn you ask? Fiber, of course. Everybody’s gotta stay regular.
Here are a few more gems just to keep you in the mood.
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We’re really not sure if this is marketing suicide or marketing genius. The line between the two seems so blurred nowadays.
Want more of this utter madness? Check out the Denny’s Tumblr, because of course, they have a Tumblr.
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