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Whether you prefer a blonde or an amber, a hearty stout or a refreshing IPA, there’s probably a beer for you. There are a legion of huge beer companies that make every type of brew under the sun and are beloved by party and bar goers alike.
And then there’s these.
1. Hoptimus Prime
For those who want their beer to transform into something else. Or want to drink something while watching cars explode with sexism.
2. Seriously Bad Elf
A different tactic for the holidays.
3. Ill Tempered Gnome
Who says gnomes are cheerful all the time?
4. Belligerent Ass
A rare beer that describes what happens to some when they drink it.
5. Bitter Bitch
What comes out when she’s finished her sixth vodka cranberry.
6. Moose Drool
If you don’t want Molson Canadian, this’ll still show everyone you fly your maple leaf loud and proud.
7. Polygamy Porter
I mean… the tag line is 'you can't have just one.' You can't make this up.
8. The Men's Room
Because when you think of appealing consumable items, you think of the festering pit of hell that is a men’s room. Obviously.
9. Faceplant
Another beer that helpfully tells the drinker what will happen in a few hours.
10. I’ll Have What The Gentleman on the Floor is Having
Maybe not the best call.
11. Blithering Idiot
So that the awkward gentleman hitting on every woman in sight will have a descriptor in hand.
12. Arrogant Bastard
Seems there would be a fairly large demographic for this.
13. Panty Peeler
Why bother with smooth talking when you can just hand your beloved one of these? Also, why is she on a moose? None of this makes sense.
14. Kilt Lifter
For when the object of your desire is Scottish and you want to be really specific.
15. Collaboration Not Litigation
Lawyered!
16. Tactical Nuclear Penguin
A nuclear penguin alone would be silly. He needs to be tactical for anything to work.
17. Vampire Blood
A brew kept alive by a legion of Twilight fans, one would guess.
18. Buttface
Just… would you order this? Ever? Aloud? With real words?
19. Santa’s Butt
Nothing like a little holiday cheer.
20. He’brew: The Chosen Beer
L’chaim!
21. Monty Python’s Holy Grail Ale
You might not find the holy grail, but this is the next best thing.
22. Spicy Fish Wife
It doesn’t even make sense. Sure, it has some spices. Does it have fish byproducts? Is it marketed to wives? Does the wife align herself with spicy fish or is she herself a spicy fish? In which case, fish don’t drink beer, there’s no demographic for it. There are so many questions.
23. Buckin’ Monk
Nothing says fun and lively like a monk.
24. Sex Panther
He's bottled it in another format. Your odds are pretty high.
25. Sex Viking
I mean… what even is a sex Viking? These names are ridiculous.