14 Reasons Why George Clooney Shouldn't Get Married

George Clooney, the self-professed never marry type, shocked the world when he announced his engagement to a woman he’d only been dating for a few months, human rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin. As we all know, Clooney’s been the quintessential bachelor since his first marriage dissolved in 1993. He’s romanced a revolving door of fine ladies in his cache, including recent trophies Stacy Keibler and Elisabetta Canalis. They all wanted marriage and kids; he did not. But now, it looks like he’s met the one. Still, many of us are not ready to see him plunge to the dark side, even though this is supposedly the “healthiest relationship” ever. There's so many ramifications to consider, first!

14. We hoped the Golden Globes joke wouldn't come true.

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George's fiancée is almost 20 years his junior.

13. He probably won't have as much time with the boys.

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Apparently he didn't get the "bros before hoes" memo.

12. His exes may be upset.

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Elisabetta probably didn't take the news too well.

Not well at all.

11. He stated in an interview he "wasn't very good" at marriage.


10. At least wax figure Clooney is still single.

via: www.npr.org

Visit Madame Tussauds in London and cop a feel of George's waxy hands--it's almost like the real thing. No ring on that finger!

9. He'll now lack a sense of mystery.

Because Clooney refused to marry, reports swirled he was, um, gay, a claim he didn't deny nor acknowledge. A man of mystery sure beats being an open book.

8. His wife probably won't let him own any more exotic pets.

Max the Pig kept him company during some dry spells.

7. Getting married makes him sort of a liar.


In his interviews, he said he wouldn't get married again. Well that was clearly a lie.

6. His engagement is leaving millions of women and men around the world heartbroken.

Why, George, why?

5. His wife will want to have babies and George is just too old for that.

See how awkward he looks holding an infant?

 4. Lake Como will no longer be a swinging bachelor pad.

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3. He made singletons feel better about themselves.

It’s like you have that friend who you know will never settle down, which makes you feel better about yourself for not settling down or finding the right person, and then they settle down, and then you’re left to die alone.

2. We always thought he'd end up with Sandra Bullock.

They're practically the same age and she already has a kid and they have chemistry together! Oh, wait, she's too old (see #14).

1. Marriage didn't work out so well the first time.

via People.com

The former Mrs. Clooney went on to marry another silver fox named Roger Sterling, aka John Slattery.

Then again, you just never know.

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