Dear Apple fanboys and fangirls,
You’re probably not going to be too happy with this article. But we know you are reasonable people and will eventually see the truth. We hate to break it to you, but Apple is far from being an innovative brand anymore; indeed, Apple is quickly falling behind the curve compared to competitors like Samsung. Apple is nothing more than a generic company at this point. This couldn’t be more evident than with their latest flagship, the iPhone 7.
While Apple unveiled its new features like a better camera, water-resistance and a faster processor, these features have already been done before - and better - on other smartphones out there. On top of all of that, the iPhone 7 is also very similar to its predecessor, giving those who own this model no reason to upgrade at all. The only reason you might consider upgrading is if you own the iPhone 5. Even then, the results show that there are better smartphones on the market. Samsung, for example, offers great customizability, something that Apple utterly fails at. It’s time to start fangirling on a new and improved model.
16 Significant Differences In Plus
This is the first year that people have actually wanted the Plus version more. In the past, the difference between the regular model and the Plus model used to come down to the size of the screen. But that isn’t true of the latest generation iPhone 7. The iPhone 7 Plus not only has a dual camera lens (which will also be true of the model to come out next year) but it also has way more ram (3GB and 2GB respectively). If you want the best possible iPhone on the market right now - at least according to Apple - you will have to shell out for it. While this is the least problematic aspect of Apple’s new flagship, it doesn’t get better from here. If you are an Apple fanboy/fangirl, you may want to go get a box of Kleenex, because we are about to shatter your iPhone dreams.
15 No Surprises Anymore
If you were the child who would actually wait until Christmas morning (or another non-religious equivalent) to open your presents instead of stealthily trying to track them down beforehand, this entry might resonate with you. Let’s give you another example. You know when you’ve had an episode of Game of Thrones spoiled before you’ve managed to watch it? This is kind of like that. The new features on the iPhone 7 have been the most leaked out of any device ever, meaning that the anticipation and sheer excitement that came with the unveiling of the device was a thing of the past. And to think that it was ruined via all of those low-quality images, too. It’s officially the end of an era. We knew basically everything there was to know about the iPhone 7, and where’s the fun in that?
14 AirPods Suck
Here’s a hint, Apple. If you are about to introduce a huge design change to your new smartphone (i.e. removing the headphone jack), a move that could potentially upset many of your loyal users and jeopardize your profit, it is probably wise that, at least, your wireless headphones - i.e. the “AirPods” - don’t suck. But among the numerous complaints that the iPhone 7 has already been associated with, it now also includes complaints with their AirPods. Specifically, the problem is that the buttons to control the volume, as well as the action button, just stop working shortly after being plugged in. And while unplugging them and plugging them back in seems to fix the problem, it only resolves the issue for a short period of time. This is another problem that Apple has acknowledged and one that they are apparently working to resolve with the iOS 10 update.
13 Rare Jet Black Color Blows
So, with the iPhone 7 came the introduction of a new jet black colored phone. It sounds cool, sure. However, one of the complaints that Apple has been receiving is that no one can actually get their hands on it. But that’s not the biggest complaint. The jet black color actually kind of sucks. Why? Because your phone is now likely to get scratched, a complaint that is actually coming from Apple itself! There is nothing worse than having a scratch on a brand new iPhone. This color also tends to collect a lot of grease, which is kind of disgusting. Even choosing a color - a task that a Kindergartner would be able to handle - was too much for Apple. Just assume that nice, slick new iPhone 7 isn’t going to be looking great for too long… An iPhone owner’s worst nightmare. Also, on the topic of the iPhone 7's physicality, it is also starting to look old compared to other smartphones out there.
12 Already Has Bugs
The iPhone 7 hasn’t even been on the market for that long and already Apple has been flooded with complaints of bug infestations, and not just one kind. One bug has to do with users seeing a very annoying “no service” message after turning on and off airplane mode. Not being able to connect to the Internet is a serious problem for the majority of modern-day humans. While Apple has commented on the matter and said that they are trying to fix the problem, who knows how long it could last. If this wasn’t the only problem with the new iPhone 7, perhaps it could be overlooked. But that isn’t the case, as you will see below. In the meantime, Apple has told users to restart their phones. If that doesn’t work, it is then suggested that you take out the Sim card and then put it back into your phone. Sigh…
11 Emits “Hissing” Sound
This is a very strange problem that seems to only be affecting the iPhone 7 Plus (luckily), but it is serious one given that there appears to be no way to resolve the problem. So, what is the problem, you ask? Well, the phone makes a hissing sound, a sound that has reported to come from the back of the phone. Not just sometimes but always. While it is not a super loud sound by any means, the hissing sound does appear to become louder if the phone is being heavily worked by playing games and other processor-heavy apps. This isn’t good news for Apple given that snakes are generally not a fan favorite. While Apple has told users who are experiencing this problem to visit AppleCare and have their phones replaced, there are reports that there aren't iPhone 7s in stock, meaning that you will more than likely have to wait.
10 Water Resistant, NOT Water Proof
The iPhone 7 is actually the first ever iPhone to be water-resistant, which can mean different things depending on the rating it has been given. For the iPhone 7, its rating is IP67, meaning it can withstand being submerged in 1 meter (3 feet) of water for up to 30 minutes. Keep in mind, however, that just because Apple’s new flagship is “water resistant,” that doesn't equal waterproof. This does not mean you take your iPhone for a swim in the pool or take underwater pictures. Taking your iPhone surfing, or at least exposing your iPhone to salt water is not recommended either. In fact, people have already tested the water resistance of these phones and after exposing the iPhone 7 Plus to salt water, it ended up with audio issues.
Don’t think that because the phone is water-resistant that you will protected under the warranty in the event that your phone goes for a swim. You will not get your phone fixed for free. Given that water damage is actually one of the most common problems that smartphone users experience, this was a clever business move by Apple. They can tell you your phone is “water resistant,” making you less guarded and before you know it, you’ll accidentally forget to take your phone out of your swim trunks before hopping in the pool. Smart, Apple. We’ll give you that one.
9 Been Done Before, Not Cool
Have you had the no-name brand of, say, chips? Apple is the (overpriced) equivalent: definitely not as tasty as the real thing. Our next problem with the iPhone 7 isn’t only that the “new” features aren’t that exciting; they have been done before, meaning that Apple is behind the curve. They are far from innovative anymore. Let’s prove our point, if you don’t believe us. If you are particularly prone to dropping your iPhone into the toilet, sure, the iPhone 7’s ability to protect you against such a mishap is great. But the Samsung did a water-resistant phone two years ago, which in tech-time is basically like double that. You can get better features at a cheaper price, too.
8 The Home Button Feels Weird
Another change to the iPhone 7 has to do with the home button. Long gone are the days when you would “click” it since that once satisfying click has now been replaced with a “buzz.”
While the change to the home button was necessary to create a water-resistant phone (which is probably a good thing), it feels funny. Of course, that isn’t the only (or most serious) problem with the home button. The home button now requires skin contact in order to access your phone - this is because it has a capacitive touchscreen. A capacitive touchscreen, however, can be problematic for certain types of people, which we will outline next...
7 Sorry, Gym Rats And Canadians
If you are a gym rat, forget about being able to easily use your phone if you are using an armband (which generally covers the home screen button). Now, you will have to invest in some touchscreen gloves to be able to click on the home screen button. Not only will this be annoying, but these gloves could, quite possibly, make you look like a murderer. So not only is Apple turning its users into creeps and hoarders (see our points below), but they make you guys look strange, too. Same goes for Canadians (and anybody else who lives in a cold climate). Forget about using your phone with winter gloves on. Just go ahead and expect to get frostbite this year, unless you want to wear weirdo gloves too.
6 The Smartphone Plateau: Yawn
The new features that came with the iPhone 7 have made it clear that Apple has reached a smartphone plateau. In other words, don’t expect anything magical from your phone in the near future. Sure, you can expect a thinner or more speedy phone, but that’s all that the smartphone world can give you at the moment. In actuality, the iPhone 7 doesn’t even look all that different from its predecessor: it’s still thin and rectangular. Apple is definitely running out of steam, so don’t expect to be able to bend your phone like silly putty any time soon. Of course, this isn’t only an Apple problem.
But, then again, maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Perhaps Apple will be able to use its additional funds generated from the removal of the headphone jack and put it into finding the next smartphone wunderkind to give us something we haven’t seen before.
5 No Headphone Jack?!
If you know anything about the iPhone 7, it probably has something to do with the with removal of the headphone jack, a decision useful for no one except Apple. Think about it: how many times have you almost dropped your phone onto the pavement but the headphone's wire saved it just in time? And to think that that isn’t even the only problem.
Ditching the headphone jack means that you are now going to have to use wireless headphones, which are problematic (of course, you could use an adapter if you wanted to use wired headphones). They are expensive if you are going to get a good pair. They are also very easy to lose. The point is that your total expenditure on Apple products this year is more than likely to rise. Plus, you’re going to be annoyed AF when you can’t connect them.
And just when you thought we were finished discussing the headphone jack (or lack thereof), there’s more. Just consider all of the annoyances that come with Bluetooth headphones: first of all, they have to be charged. Most of us have already reached maximum charging capacity in our lives and really don’t need another piece of technology to keep tabs on. And, in the grand finale of why the iPhone 7 sucks (as it relates to the headphone jack problem), it is now impossible to charge your phone when non-wireless headphones are plugged into your device.
4 Battery Life "Fusion" Did Not Improve Anything
The iPhone 7’s biggest advancement has to do with the chip, the A10 Fusion. While a name like “Fusion” chip would lead you to believe that it must be very cool, well, it isn’t. While Apple made a big deal about it, the only thing that this new chip has to offer is that you save a few seconds when you’re opening up an app or installing an update. Big deal. How many users would even notice that it took a few less seconds to open up their camera?
While this new chip should have also meant extended battery life, that isn’t the case. It only really extends your battery life if you’re doing basic things on your phone. But if you are a gamer or enjoy watching high-resolution videos, well, you better keep your charger on hand. You’re still going to be frantically looking to charge it at the end of the day and that is not only disappointing but also annoying. The fact that this is supposed to be the biggest improvement in Apple’s latest flagship offering is quite pathetic. We expected better.
3 Camera/Screen Upgrades Are Lackluster
The improvements in the iPhone 7 (i.e. usually the reasons in support of why you should upgrade your phone) are lackluster at best. The iPhone 7 is supposed to come with a brighter screen, making it easier to read when you’re out in the sunshine, but who does that? Do better, Apple. Alright, so it added a second speaker (only made possible via the lack of the headphone jack), meaning you can just expect to have to invest in a hearing aid sooner than later. Actually, we take this back as the addition of the extra speaker didn’t even lead to better sound, at least compared to the iPhone 6.
The camera is supposed to be better, particularly that you can take better pictures when the light is low. But if anything, taking pictures in the dark makes you look kind of like a creeper. Even if you aren’t an actual creeper. Now they're saying that the Samsung Galaxy S7 has a better camera anyway...
In all fairness, we will give credit to Apple for the increased storage on the iPhone 7 and iPhone 7 Plus (32GB instead of 16GB for the most basic iPhone and going up to 256GB). But doesn’t this make you more of a digital hoarder? You might end up on an episode of Hoarders, which is not a good look for anyone. Alright, so the iPhone 7 will protect your phone from water, should you drop your phone in the toilet and leave it there for approximately thirty minutes or so. We guess that’s pretty beneficial, but it’s not like it hasn’t been done before.
2 Apple Just Wants Your Money
We trusted Apple. For many of us, it was our first (technological) love. We thought they wanted the best for us. But, to put as eloquently as possible, Apple just wants to screw you. Hard. Indeed, the removal of the headphone jack is nothing more than a business move for Apple, designed only to generate more profit, from entirely new iPhones to replacement wireless headphones. Further, it is also an opportunity for Apple to pimp out Beats. To think that someone we once loved so greatly doesn’t care about us anymore is a sad realization. But, think about it: how are wireless headphones actually beneficial? When was the last time you thought, “Gee, my headphones’ cord is so annoying!” We’ve been duped. Apple just wants you for your money. It’s time to say goodbye because this is a relationship that can’t be repaired. No one wants to date a gold digger (not even a rose-gold digger), right?
1 The Investment Never Ends
We’ve all tried our hand at those claw machines, where you insert your hard-earned cash and control the claw in order to get a toy, but we all know that they are essentially a money suck. And so is the iPhone 7. In fact, we’ve already outlined a few of the ways the iPhone 7 is going to drain all of your savings. From the increased likelihood of you now smashing your phone now that the headphones aren’t there to protect you, to losing your earbuds, you might as well give Apple all your money now. Want to use wired headphones? You’ll have to shell out for an adapter. But there’s more. Apple didn’t even have the decency to give its users a free pair of AirPods. And those suckers aren't cheap, priced at $157 a pop. Indeed, Apple could have at least thrown in a complementary pair. Also, let’s return to the jet-black colored phones. To prevent the black jet color phone from scratching, Apple suggests that users invest in an (Apple) case for the phone - obviously.