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The 15 Hottest Musicians Who Can’t Sing

Entertainment

There is a great deal of musical talent in the world, and much of that talent comes in the form of some incredibly sexy, sultry, and seductive sweeties. But let’s not kid ourselves, there are many, many… too many physically stunning people in this world who get where they want, and what they want, simply by the bat of their lashes, the flick of their hair, the puckering of their lips, the strut of their legs, the shake of their ass, and the baring of an overwhelming amount of cleavage… whether real or fake, without any musical talent whatsoever.

Below is a list of musicians. Attractive musicians who, in spite of their lack of vocal prowess, have managed to make it to the big time, and “sing” for audiences the world over. How is it that they get away with this? Simple. They’ve got some rather gorgeous skin, and they are in no way afraid of showing off quite a bit of it. Most of these lovely ladies, one might notice, perform not just by singing, but by dancing their stunning bodies all over the stage with a retinue of back-up dancers, and guest artists to grope and grind with. So without further ado, let’s see some upscale skin.

15. Taylor Swift

www.thenewyorker.com

www.thenewyorker.com

This once upon a time country singer who made it big by releasing a concept album from Hell, all about a break-up she had when she was an angsty teenager, has made a name for herself with lyrics that like-minded, angst-ridden teeny-boppers weep over, and showing off a whole lot of her body that angst-ridden, teenage boys with one less sock in their drawer swoon over. Her incredibly white, porcelain skin, vibrant blonde hair, and her intensely blue eyes really pop, especially when she wears black… regardless of how little she happens to be wearing. That being said, if anyone caught her very first performance at Dick Clark‘s Rockin’ Eve in New York, then it’s surely known that Taylor Swift doesn’t exactly have the most fantastic voice outside of the studio. Yeah, she’s certainly improved over the years; I guess practise makes perfect, but perhaps studio time is time better spent.

14. Rihanna

www.Independent.co.uk

www.Independent.co.uk

It seems that if she didn’t mumble, and… stilt… her… way… through… her… lyrics, then perhaps Rihanna would have a decent voice, but it is certainly hard to get past the stuttering, vibrato, and intense mumbling. It is almost as if Rihanna only performs when she’s half in the bag, and that would include her time in the studio, given that she actually does sound the same live as she does in studio. Kudos must go to her for this achievement though. Most performers of her standing and intensity save their voices when performing live, but she seems to give the same performance in and out of studio… just kidding. Of course she also lip syncs, that’s why it sounds the same, it’s just that no amount of editing could stop her from mumbling and stuttering away. But hey, at least she has a great way of selling albums (i.e. going nude whenever she can), and a lineup of ladies to dance along with her in an array of outrageous outfits.

13. Alanis Morissette

www.mypopulars.com

www.mypopulars.com

Sure, not everyone here will agree about Alanis Morissette being hot, but no one can argue about her voice. Lovely hazel eyes, lusciously large lips, and an unmistakably tight body however, Morissette definitely has at least those things going for her, and it’s refreshing to have a female musician who is not afraid to sing her heart out live, without back-up dancers, or a track to lip sync to. Alanis is who she is, and there is no arguing with that. The 90s were a good time for female musicians, and not giving a shit about the women people wanted them to be. That in itself is an attractive quality. Hell, even Morissette was more than willing to mock her own voice, playing God in the hilarious film Dogma with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. Her voice was so awesomely awful, that it blew apart Affleck’s head.

12. Ashlee Simpson

www.eskipaper.com

www.eskipaper.com

Here is the most famous, or perhaps infamous, pivotal musician to point out the lip-syncing phenomenon of modern music: Ashlee Simpson. Sure, she was the scapegoat for the most part, and no one ever really forgave her when it came out that she didn’t care to sing live for fans. Not even on Saturday Night Live (even though lip-syncing is the norm for SNL, which seems to defeat the purpose of having ‘Live’ in the title), when the first song she did looped over again instead of continuing on to her planned second song to lip sync to. The band did their best, working to recover from the humiliation by actually playing the second tune, but Simpson did some sort of “hoe down” dance (her words), and then blamed her band afterwards when Jude Law tried to pass it off as the hardships of playing live. The music industry might be littered with pieces of her, but at least those pieces look good in schoolgirl outfits.

11. Avril Lavigne

www.Pinterest.com

www.Pinterest.com

This rockin’ piece of punk Canadiana certainly has style. Ripped up dress, no bra, strap falling off her shoulder, long sexy hair, spiky killer ring, Avril Lavigne has got a lot of class, and comes from the seeming tradition of Canadian musicians who don’t care what they sound or look like, a la Alanis Morissette. Credit given where credit is due, Avril doesn’t seem to go out of her way to lip sync to a recording. She is what you get. Admittedly, sometimes it’s a knockout performance but, to be sure, there are many days where things aren’t necessarily going according to plan. That’s the thrill of Avril Lavigne though: you get the real deal, and you never know what that’s going to be (apart from hot and wild).”I know for a fact there are some young female artists who don’t even sing on their own records and who don’t sing live. And that is pathetic.” Straight to the point, and deadly honest. Great to look at, fiery attitude, and her voice… “she’s like, so whatever…”

10. Selena Gomez

www.conversationsabouther.net

www.conversationsabouther.net

Now this lovely lady, who has absolutely no issues with showing off her silky-smooth skin, like on the satin sheets above, prefers to surround herself with a slew of chip ‘n’ dale dancers, who I’m sure many men wish they could be. Perhaps most famous for lip syncing her way through her Revival Tour, Selena Gomez has an array of revealing dresses, and an apparent understanding regarding keeping her voice in the studio, and away from that pesky live mic, on that stage, in front of all of her fans… She wouldn’t dream of putting her fans through the pain of hearing her voice, devoid of editing, at a show they’ve paid hundreds of dollars for. It may be a betrayal of some sort to her die-hard fans, but she does make it up to her fans’ boyfriends by getting tossed around the stage in next to nothing, because surely “[they’re] so sick of that same old [song]”.

9. Britney Spears

www.PopSugar.com

www.PopSugar.com

True, there have been some rough years for Britney Spears, and not all of them very attractive, but one need only think back to that first video drop, Hit Me Baby One More Time, and the entourage of schoolgirls dancing down that hallway… or look at the photo above and surely one is reminded of just how hot this pop star can be. A lot of people thought it pretty racy of her to perform at the MTV VMAs in 2007 in nothing but a set of sequin bra and panties, but given that MTV used to be edgy, surely this was no crime, even with the male and female back-up dancers grinding all over her, and dancing the poles… she did make out with Madonna four years earlier at the awards show so the shock in 2007 was silly. After that apparently career-shattering performance, which actually wasn’t all that bad, she was given flack after her comeback performance in 2016 for lip-syncing, which must surely be a joke since every other pop star since she left the stage had taken up the torch of not actually singing their own music.

8. Carly Rae Jepsen

www.mtv.com

www.mtv.com

First off, who the Hell knew this hottie was already in her thirties? Not that that is old (seriously), but it’s still surprising to see a pop star get her start in her late twenties. It seems not to happen often. Either way, Carly Rae Jepsen is the blue-eyed beauty who brought the world one of the most annoyingly overplayed, unfortunately catchy ear worms of all time Call Me Maybe, which is now undoubtedly running through your head. Surprisingly, it doesn’t seem like she lip-syncs at all, which is admirable, but it’s not like she has a stunning voice. Stunning eyes, absolutely, especially popping out against that pallid, pale skin. But not a stunning voice. And who needs to have a beautiful voice when one can write the most obscenely annoying and catchy songs in the world? Don’t ever listen to I Really Like You.

7. Hilary Duff

Pinterest.com

www.Pinterest.com

Hilary Duff started her career at a very young age, breaking into Disney and, unlike her crazy cohort, Miley Cyrus, Duff really did well at maintaining dignity in her career, and keeping fairly PG. Sure there are a few, somewhat racy photos, but nothing too excessive overall. Regarding Duff’s singing however, there has definitely been some controversy over whether or not she has lip-synced. She was furious when accused of it, and expressed the same disdain for those who fake their way through their own music that Avril Lavigne had. There is a video out there to suggest that she may have synced her way through a brief performance, but otherwise, she seems to check out. That being said, no one has ever really been interested in her music. Acting, as well as singing, Duff seemed to worry more about her roles than her voice, and that’s great when someone knows what side their bread is buttered on. The straightforward, relatively innocent manner of Duff is what attracts so many to her; that sort of sensual but simultaneous “you can’t have me” shtick.

6. J-Lo

Billboard.com

www.Billboard.com

Let’s be honest: the only thing that Jennifer Lopez is known for anymore, and pretty well for most of her career, is her booty. The famed “J-Lo Booty” is something women have aspired to have, and that men have aspired to have (in a different way) since J-Lo first shook her thing on stage. Yes, she’s had a lengthy music career, and a much shorter (thankfully) acting career, but not many people can recall a list of songs she’s put out, or roles she’s played. People just remember that booty. Yeah she’s lip synced… of course she has. J-Lo can’t shake that booty, and have back-up dancers toss her around the stage while she’s worried about actually singing. It’s likely a good thing that people can only recall her booty these days as, without makeup, she may be virtually unrecognizable, which could be a good thing for her to stay out of the spotlight when she wants to. Either way, she might be able to sing, but you’ll hardly ever hear it for all the vocal tracks covering it up.

5. Ke$ha

MoeJackson.com

www.MoeJackson.com

Now here is the famous non-singer. Some consider her far too trashy to find hot, and many find her very hot because she’s trashy. Either way you look at her, it can’t be said that anyone looks up to her for her vocal talent. Spending her time in studio, talking, rather than singing, and talking, one might add, out of tune, so as to make constant and annoying use of the auto-tune— every new musician’s favourite little toy, including Justin Bieber, and Bruno Mars (though at least Bruno can actually sing). If ever anyone has come across a live performance of Ke$ha… or perhaps it’s just Kesha now, since she’s clearly not raking in the dough anymore, one would know just how unappealing her voice truly is. Stuck in her throat and out of tune, it’s no wonder she stuck with her studio method that made her so popular in the first place. Unfortunately, since that’s all she had, she fell by the wayside once everyone else started using it. Good looks can’t always get someone places, especially when Google already has the photos everyone wants to see of them.

4. Lindsay Lohan

HDWallpaper.NU

www.HDWallpaper.NU

To think this young actress who played twins in the remake of The Parent Trap with Dennis Quaid, as innocent as she was, would turn out to be a teenage wet dream, and then a trashy adult wet dream, laden with cocaine and so many questions. But Lindsay Lohan, at every step of her career, knew how to get people’s attention, whether with good or bad press, and used it to her advantage. To such an advantage that she even managed to put out some music of her own. Working on her third album this year, it seems to be one of those “I’m a big name actor, so I can afford to produce shit albums that pop-loving teens will buy up” scenarios. Her music is much more hard hitting than one might expect, and she certainly knows how to move to it, but that still didn’t help her Good Morning America performance the day before her first album dropped. Knowing when the cues are for a lip-syncing track are key. It was great that she was so invested in moving to the music, and the fact that she missed a part sold the truth of the lyrics of the song Rumours, but that doesn’t change the fact that this hot celeb does far more for herself performing rather than singing.

3. Lana Del Ray

www.celebmafia.com

www.celebmafia.com

This little cutie has a surprisingly deep vocal register that may have thrown a few people when she first hit the stage on SNL, without the help of a vocal track to sing over, or any effect during performance. So first off, kudos to Lana Del Rey for braving the SNL stage and giving people the truth, right out of the gate, before her album even hit record stores. She was slammed for having one of the worst SNL performances ever, but considering she actually sang, even if it wasn’t great, it seems to be that she at least gave relevance to the title of the damned show: Saturday Night LIVE! When there are people like Ashlee Simpson around who are too afraid to show the world the truth, it’s no small wonder to have someone like Lana to give people back some reality; reminding everyone that, once upon a time, music had to be sung… for real. And that truth is even better accepted when it comes in such a pretty little package.

2. Rebecca Black

www.celebmafia.com

www.celebmafia.com

This quirky and barely legal teen has troubled the world with perhaps one of the stupidest songs in the world: Friday. Now that doesn’t automatically mean she can’t sing, but it doesn’t help that she started out by missing the opening cue to her own, and only known song on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, before she continued to lip sync her way through. Rebecca Black told all that she wanted to put out an acoustic version of the already terrible song to prove to people that she can sing without the help of autotune, but surely no one wants to hear another rendition of that damned song. Perhaps it will come out that she can sing. She is, after all, only 19, and still finding her way from being an overnight success, to becoming a serious musician, so there is still all the hope in the world that she’ll get there, and with outfits like the one above, she’ll surely garner some attention to help her find her way. One can only hope she doesn’t end up like Lindsay Lohan, or Miley Cyrus before she finds her way to a comfortable spot in the business.

1. Madonna

popwrapped.com

www.popwrapped.com

Well this age-old, porcelain-skinned, blonde-haired, and blue-eyed bombshell is perhaps the most classic example of faking it. At least nowadays. Now 58 though, it’s no surprise that Madonna needs to take a break and lip-sync; though, to her credit, she can still certainly carry a tune and, in her day, really could sing live. Unfortunately for her, it’s not just the covering vocal tracks that she needs to get through a tour, but also a heap of makeup and intense photoshopping on every promo photo out there (I dare you to look at edited and unedited photos next to each other). All of this aside though, this provocative, self-proclaimed showgirl could teach the youngins a thing or two about true performance, and relevance, before scraping off the makeup, heading back to her regenerative regimen of a macrobiotic diet, intense cardio, yoga, and dealing with three kids… she is the epitome of performance, who just needs a little break every once in a while.

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