Disney, the home of squeaky clean All-American wholesomeness, a place where family values and good clean fun reign supreme. As the very old joke goes, if you believe that one, then we have some prime swamp land in Florida we’d like to sell you. The point? Don’t be so gullible. Back in the day, Disney stars like Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears were doing stuff no 14-year-old should be doing; Vanessa Hudgens had three leaked nude photo scandals, and Demi Lovato landed in rehab. And the movies? Well, even before the powers of CGI, male animators at Disney spent long tedious days hand-drawing that stupid duck or that annoying mermaid, frame after frame after frame. So maybe they had a bit of a chuckle and drew the duck in bed with a bump down below. Yes, that kind of bump. Or they pictured the mermaid with a palace behind her that had a tower that looked exactly like a very erect bit of male anatomy. Then, after computer animation, animators went wild and were inserting nearly naked ladies onto the Lion King’s nose or having Rapunzel’s hair spell out a dirty word as it wrapped around her prince. Get it? Here come 8 times when Disney was being dirty-minded and 7 times when we were.
15. Who Framed Roger Rabbit – The Thing Up The Nanny’s Skirt
Made in 1988, Who Framed Roger Rabbit featured groundbreaking interaction between live characters and animated ones. It was also probably the most “adult” cartoon Disney has ever done. Roger and Jessica Rabbit are married cartoon characters, but as IMDb says, Roger is afraid that his sexy voluptuous wife Jessica “is playing patty-cakes with someone else.” So live action detective Eddie Valiant (Bob Hoskins) is brought in to investigate. Then, the patty-cake-playing king, Marvin Acme (Stubby Kaye), is found dead and Roger is the number one suspect. Then, there is Baby Herman, a dirty old cigar-smoking man of a baby cartoon character. In one scene with his “nanny,” Baby Herman can be seen enjoying the view from under her skirt. Then, shock and horror, the little monster extends his middle finger up her skirt. Whoa, the finger was edited out of the DVD release of the film, as the picture shows. Dirty-minded Disney, big time.
14. Toy Story 3 – Andy Gets It On
2010’s Toy Story 3 is a feast of Disney dirty-mindedness. Let’s start with the scene in which college student Andy rushes into his room with a (yikes!) girl in his arms. They hit the bed and off-camera proceed to “do it.” The toys are shocked, horrified, and traumatized by all the noise and activity. Etch-A-Sketch and Toy Soldier give a blow by blow. Pun definitely intended. “She won’t stop screaming,” says one of the toys. They all stand watching in total disbelief. Then, wham, Andy’s hand reaches down and grabs Buzz Lightyear. Poor old Buzz becomes a different kind of “toy.” When Buzz is finally put back on the floor, he is hot and heavy and showing signs of something rigid in his nether regions. Woody has to put a bewildered–but happy–Buzz to bed. Kids everywhere were asking what was wrong with Buzz. Shame on you, Disney.
13. Cars 2 – The Lemon Party
Let’s start off by saying you probably shouldn’t Google Lemon Party. It might shock you to learn the kind of stuff men get up to in bed. Enough said. In Cars 2, the bad guys are, of course, the Lemons, the clunkers cars that nobody wants to get stuck with. In the movie, the Lemons are plotting against the good guys, those beautiful cars everybody wants to own. The Lemons totally hate them. So, the bad guys hatch a plot and when things seem to be going their way, they decide to have a party. Yes, the Lemons have a party. So it’s a Lemon Party right? Everyone agreed that it was a great party. Don’t forget: Don’t Google Lemon Party. We warned you. Our verdict? It’s the fans’ dirty minds at work this time.
12. Dancing Girl Esmerelda – The “Bare” Lady Thing
The Hunchback of Notre Dame tells the story of the tragic hunchback who lived in the cathedral. Of course, in the Disney version, Esmerelda, the sexy dancing girl and seductress portrayed in the novel by Victor Hugo, is PG rated. But, she gets to shout out to her real character once or twice. In one scene, Esmerelda is doing her fire dance and for much of the scene, she is clothed and awash in veils as would any good dancing girl would be. But wait, fans said, pause it here. And, what do you see? Well, very clearly, you see a naked woman with certain bits of her anatomy clearly on display. Her booty is there, as are her boobies. Not so, said Disney. Verdict: This time, Disney had the dirty mind. No doubt about it.
11. The Rescuers – Another “Bare” Lady!
About 30 minutes into the film, cute little animated mice by the name of Bianca and Bernard are flying through New York City in a sardine can, as cute little mice often do. And lo and behold. The image of a topless woman can be seen in two separate frames. There she is in a window, large as life. In 1977, when the film first came out, nobody noticed. But when the film was released on VHS in 1999, it took all of three days for the pause brigade to spot it and cry foul. They must have been eagle-eyed because it was literally two frames out of the film’s more than 110,000 frames. At first, the Disney people said they had not done it and that “somebody else” was responsible. Finally, they had to admit that yes, the naked lady had been put in during production. And then, there was something about upholding good wholesome family values. We are betting at least one animator was looking for a new job.
10. Ratatouille – That Subtle Glance
Ratatouille is the 2007 film that asks the question: Can an anthropomorphic rat realize his dream of becoming a chef? This is the land of Pixar and Disney, and we all know the answer is going to be a resounding yes! Remy is the young rat who dares to dream. Through a series of unhappy accidents, he finds himself at a restaurant once owned by his now deceased idol, Auguste Gusteau. The new owner, the odious Skinner, has garbage boy Linguini and fellow employee Colette firmly under his thumb. There is a very subtle s*xual undertone going on between Colette and Linguini. Take the scene where he is talking about his “tiny… little” something and Colette subtly glances at his man bits. Of course, Linguini isn’t really talking about his man bits, which adds to the sauciness of the moment. Verdict: Yes, Disney and Pixar definitely were down and dirty in this scene.
9. Ratatouille – The Oral Joke Or Not
Anton Ego is the arrogant food critic in Ratatouille. He is funnily horrible. When the rat Remy saves the day by fixing a soup “tiny thing” Linguini has messed up, everyone thinks the garbage boy had done it. So poof, they make him a chef. Remy’s got to sneak around, aided and abetted by Linguini, directing the new cook and fixing the food he invariably screws up. Anton comes to review the restaurant and tells a nervous Linguini, “If I don’t love it, I don’t swallow.” The fans were screaming. You see, it’s a dirty oral joke. We say that’s a bit lame. So maybe, we have the dirty mind this time around? Anyway, the movie ends happily with Remy, Colette, and Linguini opening their own restaurant “La Ratatouille.” That’s ratatouille as in eggplant stew and ratatouille as in “rat.”
8. Toy Story 3 – Another Oral Joke
Mr. and Mrs. Potato get oral? Who would have guessed it? In Toy Story 3, that pesky bear Lotso gets fed up with Mrs. Potato yakking and yakking and yakking, so he reaches out and takes her lips right off of her face. That shut her up! She is very upset and Mr. Potato Head goes into a hot rage, like a french fried fit. “Hey,” he says, “nobody takes my wife’s mouth except me!” Now, Pixar and Disney are masters at sneaking dirty ones over the heads of kiddie audiences and sending adults into fits of giggles. But this time? We say the fans are the ones with the dirty minds. We think Mr. Potato Head is just being protective of his totally irritating scatty wife.
7. Lion King – “Dirty Word” Or Not?
Disney’s 1994 film, The Lion King, was a massive hit. In it, a young African lion named Simba loses his father and must fight an evil uncle to claim what is rightfully his. It is full of cute little animals, rampaging herds, and nasty animal villains. At a low point in his quest, a tired and discouraged Simba flops down on a rock and blows dust and leaves into the air. Wait, said the pause jockeys, slowly bring it forward and you can see it spells “S-E-X.” There, see? They said. It was a kind of hint of the happy loved-up ending that Simba was to get, fans said. Some say Disney nixed the idea saying it was not “S-E-X” but “S-F-X,” a reference and a shout-out to their Special Effects Department. While the “S-E-X”-mad fans weren’t convinced, many said the less salacious interpretation was the right one. The verdict? It was (probably) our dirty minds and not the Disney animators that was at fault here.
6. Aladdin – Of Curtains And A Good Kitty
Aladdin is a poor street rat, and Jasmine is the daughter of a Sultan. They fall in love and end up living happily every after. Aladdin, made in 1992, was in many ways classic Disney, a fairy tale story with a happy ending. That said, fans looked hard for dirt. Like when Robin Williams voicing the Genie tells Aladdin that he was pretty fond of him saying, “Not that I want to pick out curtains.” Aha, they said. Gay joke. Pretty lame, we think. Another scene that got a lot of attention was when Aladdin spots Jasmine and begins to woo her. Aladdin wants Jasmine all to himself and so he whispers to her pet tiger, “Good kitty, take off and go.” Fans were determined to hear, “Good teenagers take off your clothes.” Our verdict? It’s the dirty-minded fans who are to blame for this one.
5. Aladdin And The King Of Thieves – Earth-Moving Honeymoon
This is definitely a Disney dirty-mind moment. At the end of 1996, Aladdin and the King of Thieves, Jasmine and Aladdin are getting married. Genie comes dressed in a purple tie. Cue in more gay jokes. Genie has so many funny moments in the film that it is hard to pick just one. But, the hands-down winner in the dirty-mind stakes in Aladdin 3 is the scene at Jasmine and Aladdin’s wedding, when a stampede of elephants literally sent shock waves through the wedding party. Genie doesn’t miss a beat and says, “I thought the earth wasn’t supposed to move until the honeymoon!” You know, he is referring to the big bang, the grand climax and such. “Mommy,” little Tommy says, “what does the earth moving mean?” Shut up and watch the movie. Your father will explain later.
4. The Little Mermaid – The “Excited” Priest
Ariel is a mermaid princess who dreams of becoming human. Based on a fairy tale, Disney’s 1989 film, The Little Mermaid, is an animated musical fantasy, a story of love and redemption. Oh yeah, it’s also about men’s junk, and such. At the end, Ariel gets her wish and marries her handsome prince. There she is all human and dressed in white, standing next to her prince. But wait, the priest who officiates at the ceremony appears to have something going on in his nether regions. Oh look, he’s got a boner, everyone said. No, said Disney. Get your mind out of the gutter. Those are his knees. Later frames confirmed that the bulge was indeed the short priest’s knee. So, the verdict? We had the dirty mind, not Disney. But wait for The Little Mermaid phallic symbol controversy number two. There was even a lawsuit.
3. The Little Mermaid – The Phallic Castle
Was the king in The Little Mermaid underwhelming in the male bits stakes? Is that why he built a phallic castle? Joking aside, Complex called it the “Huge P*nis Tower” of the castle. And there it was on covers and the like. Some delighted fans even named the various bits of that male organ using the medical terms. Rumor had it that an about-to-be-fired Disney artist had done it on purpose to land the studio in hot water. Not so, says Disney. The drawing was done by an artist who didn’t even work for the company. But, that misses the point. The artwork was approved by Disney and put out there. Could the Disney staffers have missed what was so clearly a male body part? No way, we say. Disney has a dirty mind big time on this one. After the p*nis tower and the erect piece, a woman in Arkansas filed suit against Disney. It went nowhere, though.
2. Mickey And Minnie – And More Phallic Shapes
When Disney opened Euro Disney in Paris, the French–being the French–turned their noses up and stayed away in droves. They think they are still hot sh*t. Anyway, maybe the guys at Euro Disney decided they needed to spice it up a bit. This little not-so-subtle illustration was for the cover of a magazine. Oh, la, la! They must have said when they saw it. It’s just clear as day that Minnie’s dress is a male member. And to make it even funnier, Mickey has got his hands around it. He’s gripping the thing. This is Disney being dirty-minded in spades. What about the time when they showed Donald Duck in bed with a boner? Or the time Buzz Lightyear had a very visible one?
1. Mulan – The Tongue Thing
In 1998, Disney released Mulan, the tale of a brave little Chinese girl who saves her father’s life by taking his place in the army. She, of course, finds love and becomes a national hero. That’s what happens in Disney movies. The movie, as they say, is based on the story of a legendary 6th century Chinese warrior named Hua Mulan. The kid in the movie? Totally Disney. At the beginning of the film, she asks her venerable ancestors for help with her quest and poof, little orange Mushu appears. So, she takes one look at him and says, “My ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?” Indignant, Mushu replies, “Dragon! Not Lizard. I don’t do that tongue thing.” Then, he gets his tongue out and kind of waves it about in a suggestive way. Mulan’s verdict? It and Mushu are both “tiny.” Disney has a dirty mind, said fans. We say not.
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