It’s no surprise to anyone who knows anything about cosplay that there are a great many pathetic attempts at costume making. And the entries in this article are no exceptions to this. Yeah, Jessica Nigri is hot, and she knows how to make a character look good (even if not accurate). But not everyone has the budget, or work ethic to have such an amazing result.
And not everyone is so…well enhanced as Nigri to make their cosplays near as attractive. To be fair though, it does look like some of the people in this piece really didn’t put much thought into their outfits…even if it does seem like they may have put a lot of effort into them. And because of that, some of these cosplays could easily take on the quality of nightmares.
These are cosplays that could absolutely ruin a childhood. Hell, these are cosplays that could ruin adulthood as well. Star Wars, Pokemon, X-Men, Beetlejuice, Super Mario, Mega Man, Street Fighter, The Little Mermaid…if any of these things were even a small part of your childhood…prepare to be scarred for eternity.
20. SpongeBob Squarepants
This has got to be one of the most terrifying cosplays I have ever seen in my entire life. It seems to be that SpongeBob is a little infested with some pretty disgusting, and perhaps fatal molds.That or it’s some sort of evil cheese.
That sponge has grown so much that there’s even a creepy face poking out of it. Oh that’s right, his face is supposed to be part of the sponge. But his face has shrunk somewhat. There’s actually not too much I can say about this photo other than how absolutely frightening it truly is. That girl might seem like she’s laughing, but that’s actually mid-scream.
19. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
These people aren’t even trying hard. I mean Leonardo at least has a shell on display. But are those swords she’s carrying? And I’m pretty sure Raphael is holding forks, instead of sais. And is Michelangelo using twine, and cardboard tubing for nunchucks?
Also, I’m not even sure who the silver-haired character is meant to be. It looks like Rita Repulsa from Power Rangers. But that would make even less sense than what’s going on in this photo. I suppose that at least the four turtles can say that they just worked with what they had kicking around the office.
18. Steampunk Batman?
Wow. That’s meant to be Batman right there. Ultimately, I think that’s meant to be Batman circa 1850…but for the fact that the whole steampunk thing is still not how people dressed back then. So the who fad is ridiculous no matter which way you look at it.
For anyone who thought Batman was a badass superhero…think again. Because he’s apparently a sophisticated aviator, with some sharp fashion sense, a fur cape, and a villainous moustache that the ladies can’t get enough of.
Some of those things actually sound like they would work for Bruce Wayne…but Batman isn’t so much a sophisticated character. Even with all of his technology. He still likes to get a few good punches in. This guy looks like he’d sooner prance away, dropping gears, and bits of brown leather along the way.
17. The Flash
I guess this guy decided to fashion his version of the Flash after the 1980s. Otherwise I can’t even begin to justify why his top is so incredibly cropped. It just makes no sense to me, unless he really wanted to show off his abs.
But since he had to draw those one, I think it makes even less sense that he decided to crop his outfit at all. It also seems that the Flash’s metabolism has somewhat slowed in recent years. That or he just hasn’t been running at full tilt. And I shouldn’t judge too much. Perhaps this outfit was actually from when this guy was a kid, and he just decided to throw it on after all these years.
That could explain why the top is so short. The outfit is supposed to be tight either way though. Perhaps we’ll never know the mystery behind the crop topped, ab drawing on this guy…probably for the best.
16. Mystique Really Can Change Shape
Just to be a bit merciful, it seemed like the right thing to at least include the hot version of Mystique alongside this painted ginger in a speedo. A lot of people might be inclined to think that this entry is only because the man is large.
But let’s be honest, that paint job is just half-assed, and incomplete. He could have gone as himself, and just said that he was dressed as Mystique…and that would have ultimately been a better rendition of the infamous shape-shifter. It seems like this guy is barreling down the hallway of a college residence. So I could just imagine that he was at least the life of the party that night.
15. …Star Wars…
Ok, wow. This one actually just hurts me. Darth Vader looks a lot like he’s wearing burka, rather than any sort of life-supporting technology. C3P0 is nothing but cardboard and, for some ungodly reason, a big yellow shield in the middle of it all.
The supposed Yoda could have at least put green shoes at the knees to help give the illusion of having feet. Princess Leia…is actually probably the best attempt out of any of these clowns. However, there is no good reason why she’d be wielding a lightsabre. Especially not one that’s red!
And come on…R2D2 is nothing but a blue garbage bin with paper taped to it. The only way that could be accurate is if a very small man was being tortured in there as well. And as for the green garbage bag with sunglasses…I think that’s supposed to Jabba the Hutt…
14. Zangief…With Pikachu
Ok, so to be totally honest, it’s not like there’s a whole lot to go into this costume. Ultimately it is just a rather big guy in red underwear, with red boots, lots of chest hair, and a mo-hawk. So really, this guy hasn’t done too bad a job at all.
He’s not doing himself any favours by not drawing in some muscles though. That might help his cause a little. Especially since Zangief is basically a brick sh*t house. But then, for some unknown reason, he has a Pikachu in his hands. Fans of Street Fighter might not be too inclined to really accept a Pikachu into that street-fighting universe.
Besides, Zangief is a Russian, national hero. There’s no way he’d be carrying a cute, cuddly, Japanese mascot. Sure he does look a little confused by the plush toy, but still. I’m also wondering if he shaved a poodle in order to complete his outfit…
13. ..Iron Man?
Ok…so this man either has no love for Iron Man…or so much, and just no eyesight. I’m pretty sure he made his outfit out of tissue paper, ribbon, construction paper, and tape. And that’s fine, if you’re an eight year old boy who just wants to be cool, and build your own suit like Iron Man.
But presumably this guy has really been able to see what Iron Man actually looks like…and should have been able to look himself in the mirror and know instantly that he looks barely passable to even be recognizable as Iron Man. What’s even worse is that he even stood for a photo op at a convention.
12. Ariel’s Tail Makes For A Wheelchair Bound Cosplayer
Oh my goodness! Is that not the most depressing thing to think about for Disney fans? Not only is she a fish out of water, but she’s also apparently crippled! Oh the horror! Poor Ariel.
Realistically, the cosplayer just actually can’t walk with that gigantic fin at the bottom of her outfit. Ultimately, good for her for committing to the under-the-sea Ariel. But it is kind of traumatizing to think that instead of getting legs (like in the movie), she just became an immobile, crippled mermaid. And the interesting thing about that is that there is a white-dressed, leg-capable, version of Ariel.
And it would have been far easier to accomplish. And it would have had a less horrific effect on those onlookers who didn’t realize that Ariel was actually confined to a wheelchair. This might just be a personal thing…but think of the kids who go to those conventions.
11. Mega Man
Alright, so there has to be credit here where credit is due. This guy didn’t base his outfit on what most people understand to be the ever famous Mega Man. Instead, he took his inspiration from the very first, debut cover of the original Mega Man game.
The cover featured a man in a ridiculous suit, much like the one above, with nothing more than a blaster-looking pistol. So in that sense, he’s being pretty accurate. However, I think it’s pretty terrifying to see a man who looks damn near fifty dressed up as the Mega Man every never wanted to see again.
10. Thug Life Mario And Luigi
Could you even begin to imagine what Super Mario would have been like if Mario and Luigi were total gangstas? I’d totally understand them working for the mafia; using their plumbing business as a front. But running gangs on the street? Poorly packing heat in the front of their jeans? Complete thugs?
It makes it seem as though Bowser and his men are actually the ones who are being put upon. Mario and Luigi cruising around the kingdom, shooting up all of the koopas, and goombas…goombas!? This thug thing is re-writing the childhood fantasy world of Super Mario into a far more realistic gang war.
I mean…Mario does literally light his enemies up with fire flower power. And he makes them swim with the fishes…and he knocks their blocks off. Childhood memories destroyed forever…At least Boba Fett looks good.
9. The Simpsons
The biggest issue with this whole very odd family photo is the fact that Homer is not drinking DUFF beer. Also, if they’re going to spike Lisa’s hair, then they should have counted out the nine spikes that are meant to be the top of Bart’s head.
And while we’re on the topic of hair…as balding as Homer is, he still has a bit of hair above each ear, as well as three strands at the top of his head. So accuracy here wasn’t really the goal. And while I understand that the big rounds of white is to actually make it look like they all have very large eyes…it really makes Lisa and Homer look…not quite human. There are other things to pick at of course.
This family is so iconic, it really must be held to a high standard…and this is the perfect example as to why The Simpsons should only ever be animated. Not sure they want to go full on for the eight finger look…
8. Lord Of The Rings…Maybe Child Endangerment?
I understand that it’s sometimes hard to raise kids. But when you take them out for Halloween, or off to a convention…that doesn’t mean keep them trapped in a cage on coasters. Surely there must be a law against that.
The kid on the left looks like he’s smiling, but the one on the right looks justifiably concerned. Look at the orcs behind them. It’s kind of a good thing they didn’t decide to really go for either their outfits, or commitment to character. Otherwise those children would absolutely be bawling their eyes out.
That being said…try to commit at least a little bit. It kind of looks like three adults who really didn’t plan on doing this, and one who was really excited to go to the convention. You can decide which is which. I’m still worried for those kids though.
7. Sailor Moon
Ok…so it’s pretty clear that there are a few things wrong with this picture. First off, when did Sailor Moon stop shaving? And secondly, why does she have a massive goatee? And is her natural hair colour brown?
Realistically, as disturbing as this cosplay is…it’s actually not very poorly done. It’s just difficult to register that fact because the one cosplaying the character is a massive man in his late thirties. Interesting work on the sceptre. I have a feeling that was once actually a sword, that was given a bit of a paint job, and maybe some Styrofoam to cover up the blade. Clever enough…but if you’re going to go that far, at least design the weapon accurately.
Either way, it’s clear that it’s not the execution of the cosplay that will ruin your childhood memories of how much you openly or secretly loved Sailor Moon…it’s the fact that the cosplayer is a hairy, unkempt basement troll.
This aspiring Pokemon Master seems to have a few screw loose. Is that what it really looked like when Misty would get pissed off with Ash? This photo makes it seem like Buffalo Bill got dressed up, put an orange wig on, and went to a convention. “Would you train me? I’d train me.”
It looks like he’s perpetually on his way to catching you…but not for the same pokeballs. Besides the fact that the Pokemon cartoons hardly made any sense to begin with…a tattooed, and neck-bearded Misty is maybe just a bit too much. If, for some reason, you were ever to go back and watch that show…
This guy is hardly trying to be Beetlejuice. And it does help that he looks like he’s just been hitting rails of blow. Well maybe that would typically help, but not in this case. The suit looks fine enough, it seems. And the wig with partial scalp is obviously an actual Beetlejuice wig.
But there are a few things here that just ruin this character. The main thing to point out is that this guy is just lazy. First off, get a wig that actually fits. He’s borderline bringing the Coneheads back…and that’s not cool. Also, instead of just powdering the facial hair, and darkening the forehead…maybe actually look at the head piece of the wig, and colour match.
I can’t even begin to understand the logic that went behind the creation of this Beetlejuice. It’s a good thing that Beetlejuice can shape shift. At last this guy can say he just intended to shift into a badly done version of himself.
4. The Not-So-Little Mermaid
Oh. Dear. Lord. So obviously that’s meant to be Ariel. There seem to be an awful lot of large, bearded men who really enjoy cosplaying as tiny, fairly hairless women…or mermaids. Props still have to be given to this grotesque of a man though.
He is holding a dinglehopper, and appears to be doing his hair with it (just as Scuttle the seagull instructed). And he is clearly dressed as a mermaid. But this article has nothing to do with how effectively people execute their cosplays. It has to do with how ruined they will make your childhood.
And I dare say that this colossal, hairy, bearded mermaid will be able to ruin quite a bit for those readers who are fans of some good old fashioned Disney. I was mortified when I saw this shot…so it had to be shared…so I wouldn’t be alone.
Holy sh*t! As if the Teletubbies weren’t terrifying enough with their high-pitched voices, television bellies, and soulless eyes. No, they had to go one further and turn them into zombies!
Thankfully I’m too old for this to have been part of my childhood, but I dare say that some of you readers were probably brought up at least being exposed to some of this. It’s hard to say that this would ruin your childhood, since the actual show itself seems completely capable of doing that on its own.
But let’s be honest, if nothing else, this photo could certainly give you nightmares. And might even end up changing some of your childhood memories from watching the show. It must be said though…a Teletubbies horror film would probably be amazing…if the show wasn’t scary enough already.
2. …The Twin Towers
This might be a little touchy, and it is certainly in poor taste. But if anything could ruin your childhood, it’s not only having been around for 9/11…it’s also having these two awful people relive the tragedy in cosplay form.
That being said…it’s pretty clever. And it’s a good way to get a lot of attention (though probably not the good kind). And also, I have to be a stickler about using barbies for the people. At least use Mighty Max figures to get the scale right. I remember 9/11 making me pretty paranoid (as I lived near a nuclear facility in Canada that went on the watch list).
I can only imagine that reliving the experience through cosplay in the states must hurt childhood memories a whole lot more. It’s no character from childhood, but it’s sure to ruin even just a tiny piece.
1. A Terrifying Toy Story
Maybe this is actually the most terrifying cosplay of them all. The only real indication that this might be near a convention of some sort, is the girl dressed up in the background…and the silver-wigged man in the mid-ground.
Otherwise, this just looks like a toy has come to life to murder a seemingly innocent pedestrian. Even without the pose, the Woody mask is absolutely terrifying. It reminds me of Night of the Living Dummy from the Goosebumps series. Now to be totally fair to this guy, he has done a great job.
Other than missing his hat, and gun belt, he is spot on. And while that should make me smile because I loved Toy Story…I can’t help but feel like I should want to cry. This guy is scary! and what kind of human being puts a smile on a mask like that!? Especially when it’s a character for kids.
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