It has been said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Less romantically, the mouth is basically the garage door to the gut, and the teeth help whatever’s coming through to keep moving along the journey.
Unless someone has terribly nasty or wonderfully perfect teeth, the choppers usually do not get much attention – unless of course there is a piece of food (often green) lodged between two of them or someone’s sporting a 24 karat “grill.”
But imagine seeing someone with no teeth at all. Not even a single bicuspid. Now that would surely catch your attention based on the meeting of their gums alone. Not to mention your concern as to how this person could eat anything aside from smooth mashed potatoes and strained peas. A toothless mouth, unless it’s on a newborn or a sock puppet, is a real shocker.
Viral trends come and go, but one that is a gift that keeps on giving is the popularity of photos of celebrities with their teeth Photoshopped out. Whoever thought of doing this in the first place probably had no clue how catchy the idea would become, and with all the clicks and views, he or she is no doubt putting their money where their mouth is (or the toothless celebs’ mouths, in this instance).
Take a long, hard look at how weirdly addicting browsing photos of toothless celebs can be. Smiling for the paparazzi is a whole lot harder when there’s nothing to bite the “cheese” with.
15. Demi Lovato
Demi Lovato is all about sending out the message of self-confidence and body-positivity, but even the most “Confident” broad would want to crawl into a hole if she found herself without a tooth in sight. She may even have a “Heart Attack” from the thought of it alone. Demi Lovato may claim that she “Really Don’t Care” that she is toothless, but we all know that she would turn “Stone Cold” if she really lost all her teeth. As great of a singer that she is, with no teeth at all, would she even be able to pronounce the words of her hit chart-topping songs? Lovato sings that she has “Never Been Hurt,” but whoever created this edited pic must have bruised her ego, even if just a little. Maybe she can “Get Back” at him or her by proving that even without teeth, she is still pretty darn cute.
14. Jennifer Aniston
Everyone’s favorite “friend” would likely have no friends at all if she really had no teeth like this Photoshopped picture portrays. She would not be able to Just Go With It if she had completely missing teeth behind her lovely lips. It would be no wonder that He’s Just Not That Into You if Jennifer Aniston were totally toothless. Even her beautiful beachy hair and bronzed body could not make up for the fact that she would be a dentist’s worst nightmare. Usually Aniston looks Picture Perfect, but without any teeth, she should prepare for The Break-Up from her hot hubby Justin Theroux. Not to mention, how would Aniston be able to eat Cake without any teeth? It’s true that She’s the One when it comes to most guys’ “hall passes,” but toothless, most men would simply pass on Jen altogether. Thankfully, Aniston has a superstar smile and will never become toothless. She’s rich and can afford the finest in dental care. And if she loses it all, she has plenty of Friends with Money who’d gladly pay for her dental work.
13. Taylor Swift
Once you see this mind-boggling toothless photo of hit singer Taylor Swift, you will not be able to “Shake It Off,” despite your best efforts. If you want to know what Swift will look like years from now in the nursing home, here you go. With a mouth that looks like “Blank Space,” Swift goes from gorgeous to gruesome with the aid of a mean-spirited (yet pretty funny) Photoshop job. When you look at this hilarious pic, you’ll see “Everything Has Changed” in the oral region of the pop singer. Maybe she had “Bad Blood” with her dentist and he yanked every last tooth at her last dental visit. He better watch out, because Swift will likely pen a chart-topping song about the experience. Gladly, Swift has a nice set of choppers in real life and we can see her pretty smile on stage and screen in her crafty music videos.
12. Justin Timberlake
Just when you thought Justin Timberlake was bringing “SexyBack,” along comes a creepy photo of the hit-making crooner that has jaws dropping. At least those jaws have teeth inside, because this Photoshopped pic of the accomplished singer is tooth-free and quite alarming. Some say Timberlake, even without any teeth, is “Not a Bad Thing,” but a toothless JT makes most people want to say, “Cry Me a River.” Sexy wife, Jessica Biel may have promised “for better or for worse,” but if she knew a hideous gummy hubby could be in her future, she may have said “I don’t.” Of course, Timberlake is undeniably adorable, but without any teeth, there is no way anyone is claiming, “I’m Loving It.” We need our man JT to be able to open his mouth to keep belting out those # 1 hits, so let’s be glad that he’s got plenty of healthy teeth in real life.
11. Christina Aguilera
If Christina Aguilera really has a “Genie in a Bottle,” she’d use all three of her granted wishes for her teeth to grow back. Without a set of teeth, “X-tina” looks far less than “Beautiful,” no matter what they say. “What a Girl Wants” is a nice set of pearly whites, not a mouth that looks like it had too many run-ins with the “Candyman.” Aguilera may be a “Fighter,” but she looks like she got her teeth knocked out Mike Tyson-style. As pretty as the singer is, without teeth, she looks like a “Reflection” of an ogre. Indeed, “Nobody Wants to Be Lonely,” but with a toothless smile, Aguilera will be all by herself looking at her awkward, “Reflection.” We’ve seen Aguilera go through many looks and trends and some have hit the mark and others failed miserably. But none have been or will ever be as disastrous as a toothless X-tina. May she keep brushing morning and night to keep her teeth healthy and strong so we never see this Photoshop image come to life.
10. Cameron Diaz
A-list Actress Cameron Diaz is an undeniable Hollywood stunner, but without any teeth, she looks like someone you would find sleeping under a pile of hay. There’s Something About Mary, alright, and it’s the fact that she is missing a set of teeth! Even with the help of The Mask, without any teeth, Diaz is as hideous as Shrek. You probably can’t even recall what Diaz’s teeth even look like, but without them, it is hard to remember she is actually an attractive woman. It is no wonder dentists make a good living! Even if Diaz were not a famous celeb, but a Bad Teacher instead, no student could possibly have the ability to concentrate in class when the teacher has an outrageous lisp and serious drooling problem. Thank goodness this is just a Photoshop job and not the real Diaz, because nobody would want to be In Her Shoes.
9. Angelina Jolie
Poor Ange. Just when her Hollywood marriage to hunky hubby, Brad Pitt has crumbled, so have her teeth apparently. Well, at least they are missing in this oddly disturbing Photoshopped pic. Always a stunner, without any teeth, Ms. Jolie looks like the average gal roaming the local supermarket aisles. Mr. and Mrs. Smith may have been steaming and sexy, but when the Mrs. is missing her teeth, we should be looking for The Bone Collector to retrieve them. Maybe Jolie’s teeth will wash up By the Sea, and whoever finds them can sell them on Ebay for a small fortune. At 41-years-old, Jolie is far too young to have really lost all her choppers, so this crazy pic gives us a nightmarish glimpse of what the soon-to-be-ex Mrs. Pitt will look like with a “pit” for a mouth when she’s in her golden years. No wonder she hasn’t been smiling much as of late.
8. Halle Berry
Acclaimed actress Halle Berry is one breathtakingly beautiful woman, and even toothless, she is still a sexy babe. She may not be able to join you for a steak dinner, but she can always order the soup. This Photoshopper decided to Kidnap Berry’s lovely set of teeth, but hopefully, they will Boomerang back into her mouth where they rightfully belong. A Swordfish and even Catwoman may have super sharp teeth, but Berry is all lips, tongue, and gums in this unusual snapshot. If ever Berry were to really lose her choppers, she could simply make The Call to any celebrity dentist and have her mouth fixed up in time to attend the Monster’s Ball or some star-studded red carpet event. Berry is a total beauty, so hopefully she always maintains good oral health. To see her smile with no teeth at all would be a “berry” bad thing to witness.
7. Meg Ryan
When Harry Met Sally, she had a delightful smile, but if he met her now, he would run for the hills. Without any teeth, Meg Ryan would leave us Sleepless in Seattle thanks to the nightmares we would be having recalling the image of her freakish face. A French Kiss from Ryan would normally be a delight to most fellas, but when there is a huge open cave where her teeth once resided, a kiss goodbye would be more like it. Ryan has always been a perky girl-next-door type, but with no teeth in her mouth, she looks more like the Jack-o-Lantern you see on the doorstep next door on Halloween. The next time Ryan hears You’ve Got Mail, let’s hope she has received a coupon for a new set of shiny dentures. Because at 55-years-old, going toothless is not the look that will land Ryan any new acting roles.
6. Reese Witherspoon
Some bored and likely lonely Photoshopper had serious Cruel Intentions when he edited the teeth out of poor Reese Witherspoon’s normally tooth-filled mouth. Usually considered a very beautiful woman by fans, with no teeth to be found in her mouth, Witherspoon looks a lot more like an American Psycho and totally Wild. With no teeth in sight, you would be hard-pressed to find a decent agent or a savvy movie producer who would be in Hot Pursuit to hire Witherspoon for their next blockbuster movie. The fallen actress would have to move out of Hollywood immediately and go back to Sweet Home Alabama to become a housewife or work at the local mom and pop store to make a living. Let’s hope that come the next Four Christmases, Santa Claus is generous and leaves Witherspoon her teeth gift-wrapped under the Christmas tree. Otherwise, we will live in Fear of seeing the toothless actress in our most dreaded nightmares.
5. Lena Dunham
The lead actress of HBO’s hit series, Girls, is always pushing the boundaries, but a toothless grin is pushing things way to far over the edge, even for cable TV. We have seen plenty of Lena Dunham’s body, as she likes to bare it all on screen, but seeing her with no teeth is more offensive to some than seeing her nude “lady bits.” At just 30-years-old, Dunham has made a big name for herself in Hollywood, but with no teeth, she would have never have made it to the small screen, let alone a radio show. While Dunham is attractive, she is not considered a traditional “Hollywood beauty,” so with no teeth to speak of, she would be considered a hag. Thank goodness this photo is just a Photoshop job and not a stunt Dunham is playing for publicity’s sake. She is certainly quirky enough, even with a set of teeth.
4. Oprah Winfrey
“You get a set of teeth… and YOU get a set of teeth…!” It’s too bad Oprah Winfrey didn’t gift herself a decent smile, because with no teeth, the talk show queen looks more like a peasant. Winfrey is as rich as one could ever aspire to become, so seeing a pic of her with a jacked-up smile is confusing to the viewer. While she hasn’t done any Colgate commercials, it would be hard for her to do the promos for her Weight Watchers gig when it is evident she wouldn’t be able to take a single bite of food – diet or not. With her own TV network, OWN, it would be expected that Winfrey would “own” a nice set of teeth, even if they were artificial. Surely Winfrey got a kick out of seeing this photo, because with her power, the Photoshopper would be put out of business in an instant if the “Big O” wasn’t pleased with their handy work.
The bold Barbadian beauty, Rihanna, is not only a sexy and stunning songstress, but a major force to be reckoned with in the music industry. Her sizzling sex appeal is as strong as her constant presence on the Billboard charts, and her unique style and sheer confidence oozes out of every pore. But would she be as self-assured if she had no teeth as seen in this weird Photoshopped photo? No matter how pretty she is, with no teeth at all, Rihanna looks like a patient in need of serious dental “Work.” No one would want to “Kiss It Better” when there are no teeth behind those luscious lips. Rihanna may have drawers full of sparkly “Diamonds,” but she will be in need of metal braces once her teeth grow in. Once they return, Rihanna will probably sing, “Where Have You Been?” And we’ll be wondering the very same thing.
2. Robert Downey Jr.
Robert Downey Jr. is adored by men and women for his talent, charisma, and good looks. But his looks go straight down the tube once you remove his teeth from the equation. This Photoshopped pic looks like it’s straight out of the script from Weird Science and even Sherlock Holmes would not be able to figure out where Downey’s teeth have disappeared to. Downey would fail as The Pick-up Artist once the gals saw that he was missing all his teeth and Chances Are they would laugh at his sorry attempts to gain their affection. Iron Man may be hot, but Downey with no teeth is certainly not. There is Less Than Zero chance that Downey would have had a successful career on the big screen if he really had no teeth. Lucky You, Robert, that you really have a nice set of choppers to smile with, otherwise you may have never reached your star potential.
1. Diane Keaton
While Diane Keaton is no spring chicken, she is still young enough to have all her teeth still intact. Thankfully for the actress, this is just a Photoshop job, so she can smile with confidence knowing she won’t reveal a set of naked gums. The seasoned actress wowed fans in hits like Annie Hall, Something’s Gotta Give, Love the Coopers, And So It Goes, and Baby Boom, but she’d never make it to the First Wives Club with a toothless grin. Her father would never be Father of the Bride if she had no teeth to aid in saying “I do” with. Even if Keaton were to lose all her teeth, she has Mad Money from all her success, so she could go out and get herself a fine set of pricy dentures to solve the issue. She has two sons, but even the biggest Mama’s Boy would cringe at the sight of a toothless mom, even if she is Diane Keaton.
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