There are plenty of people out there who take pleasure in hearing about an actor’s misfortune. Film and TV stars make so much damn money when they’re working that many people refuse to feel sad for them even when they’re unemployed. You had your shot. Share the wealth. These meanies hear about how former or struggling actors are working a normal job and they laugh. Welcome to the real world. Out here, we work for our money. These people are basically real-life hecklers. They may not even exist, but we’re setting a scene here.
Well, would it shock anyone to learn that the joke is not on these former celebs? Would it shock anyone to learn that a great number of them are still quite rich, even if they’re not working and haven’t been working for a while. We half expect every celeb to piss away their fortunes within minutes of their latest gig, but there is a good amount of celebs who have been smart with their dough. This list is proof of that.
Calling a celeb “washed up” may sound harsh, but don’t judge us just yet. Really, all we’re trying to say by “washed up” is that the actor is no longer any good at acting and they’re never going to be as famous as they once were. What we’ve done is collect a list of actors who haven’t been in the public eye for a while. There was a time when the people on this list were the biggest names in the business. Maybe they just disappeared or maybe we watched them collapse, but all of them are still rich. How rich, you ask? Well, richer than you at least.
15. Alfonso Ribeiro – $5 Million
Ever since The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air went off the air, Alfonso Ribeiro has basically been making a living doing the Carlton for people whenever they ask. Whether it’s on TV shows, doing celebrity game shows or just dancing on the streets for loose change (we haven’t been able to get a response from Ribeiro if this last one is true or not), the Carlton dance has gotten some good mileage. Yet, even with such low prospects, Ribeiro is still very rich. He’s worth about $5 million today, and he hasn’t been in much since 1999. He recently landed the hosting gig for AFV, replacing the ever popular, Tom Bergeron.
14. Amanda Bynes – $5.7 Million
Everyone knows about Amanda Bynes‘ transition from normal Bynes to abnormal Bynes, so no one would expect her to still be rich, would they? Hell, if someone told us that Bynes ran around the streets screaming at the top of her lungs and eating all her money, dollar bills one by one, we would totally believe the reports. Can you blame us? She had a full-on public meltdown. Yet, the former star still has just under $6 million to her name. How is that possible? Bynes hasn’t returned to the world of acting since 2010 (Easy A) and it doesn’t look she’s set to anytime soon, but she has started up a career in fashion, so maybe she gets good enough to expand that wealth a little more.
13. Sara Gilbert – $6 Million
Yeah, yeah. She’s the host of The Talk. I’m sure plenty of you have been watching that. We’re talking actresses here, something that Sara Gilbert used to be. Gilbert, assuming you don’t know, played Darlene on Roseanne. She was also in The Big Bang Theory for a little while, but that didn’t last too long. Still, Gilbert’s a millionaire. She has been for a long time. She’s worth about $6 million today, which is peanuts on this list, but it could be worse. Remember Michael Fishman, the kid who played D.J., Darlene’s little brother? He’s only worth… wait, what? 8 Million dollars? What The F. What the heck is going on here?
12. Jamie Lynn Spears – $6 Million
When Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney‘s little sister, started becoming famous, there was a large group of people who thought to themselves, this oughta end well. Admittedly, it’s a weird feeling betting on someone to fail, but c’mon, Jamie Lynn’s name blew up when she starred in the show Zoey 101 in 2005, which was the year following Britney’s engagement and marriage to Kevin friggin Federline. Britney was becoming the punchline of almost every joke and her sister’s acting was almost as bad as Britney’s in Crossroads. But there’s no accounting for taste. The show did well amongst little kids and Jamie Lynn Spears got rich. However, in 2007, Spears announced that she was pregnant at the age of 16. Though they cited other reasons, Nickelodeon let her go from Zoey 101 because Nickelodeon ain’t about to have no pregnant child running around influencing all the other kids watching. She got into music afterward, which we’re sure is of a top-notch quality. It’s helped her to maintain her wealth at least, even though she’s truly washed up. She’s got about $6 million to her name, which is a lot more than you have or we have.
11. Danielle Fishel – $8 Million
We’ll disregard Girl Meets World a touch here because the ratings for that show have been plummeting since its decent debut. When Danielle Fishel first hit the scene on television in the early 90s, there was no doubting her superstardom. She was every little boy’s fantasy, likely because she’s always looked mature. Boy Meets World was amazing and Fishel was a huge reason. Then she sort of fell off. There was Dorm Daze, which was a nice reminder that Topanga was still hot, but nothing much other than that. She did some weird reporting stuff for a bit and some risqué photoshoots, but she was washed up. We would be lying if we called it anything else. Fishel was smart though. She hung on to her money and stayed a millionaire, even through all the horrible movies and small paychecks. Still today, Topanga is worth a cool $8 million.
10. Christine Taylor – $10 Million
You’re like, who? Nah, you know her. She was Marcia Brady in The Brady Bunch Movie, “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!” She was also in Zoolander, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, Tropic Thunder and Zoolander 2. You might have also noticed that those are all Ben Stiller movies as well. It appears that the only good films Taylor’s been in over the past 16 or so years have been with him, Ben Stiller, her husband. It seems a little unfair, doesn’t it? It’s not like she’s doing all that well, even with a hotshot husband dragging her around to all his jobs. His friends be like, Ben, man, can’t you go anywhere without your wife? Well, the satisfactory work in Taylor’s early career and all that Stiller help in securing her paying gigs later in her career have left Christine with a personal worth of about $10 million. Since Ben is worth about $120 million, you gotta wonder if he calls her “poor” when they fight? Like, “listen, you hobo, it’s my time to watch TV, the Knicks are on!”
9. Miranda Cosgrove – $10 Million
Miranda Cosgrove is best known for her work on School of Rock and the iCarly TV show. Since iCarly ended in 2012, you may have thought that she had all but disappeared, but the truth is she hasn’t. Lately, it’s been almost all voice work for the young actor. She was cast as the voice of Margo in Despicable Me and each of the 93 different sequels and spin-offs that have resulted from that franchise. Technically, we can’t even claim that she’s washed up, but it’s too late. We’ll just argue that since we so rarely see her face, that she’s not a real actor anymore. So how much is this little last worth? About $7 million, but that doesn’t seem to include her voice acting work, which has probably brought her over the $10 million mark by now.
8. Jaleel White – $10 Million
Urkel. Steve Urkel. That’s it. Family Matters was the only show in Jaleel White‘s acting history that mattered. Anyone who argues anything other than that is a rotten liar. Remember when Urkel would take off his glasses and become Stefan, what a crock. The guy looked exactly the same, Laura, don’t let him fool you. And the crowd would hoot and holler when he came out. Sweet lord. The series ended in 1998 and Jaleel White had had enough with the character, saying “If you ever see me do that character again, take me out and put a bullet in my head and put me out of my misery.” Later he said the quote was taken out of context, which is such an Urkel thing to say. Well, White never did go back to that character and never did end up doing anything else worthwhile. He does, however, have $10 million to his name still. He probably wishes he didn’t say that whole bullet thing though because now, if he ever wants to make money again, he’ll be in danger of a mercy killing.
7. Melissa Joan Hart – $14 Million
Ahhh, full disclosure. It was a complete revelation to learn that Melissa Joan Hart was on TV as recently as 2015. Here we are, thinking, where the hell has Clarissa, or Sabrina the Teenage Witch been for the past decade? Only to find that she’s been on TV recently. Ok, so maybe she’s not as washed up as we thought, but let’s be real, that show was not very good. It certainly wasn’t Sabrina the Teenage Witch good. Even today, Hart still dabbles with acting, but her time has come and gone and Hollywood demands fresh blood. Hart’s also got a net worth of $14 million, which is great for someone who hasn’t acted for over a decade. Oh right, we forgot about Joey & Melissa again or whatever the hell that show was called. Wait a minute. Joey? As in Joey Lawrence?!
6. Jonathan Taylor Thomas – $15 Million
It’s been about 10 years since 90s heartthrob Jonathan Taylor Thomas has been in anything of note, though he did appear in Tim Allen’s Last Man Standing, but nobody saw it. He’s directed a few episodes of that same show and is said to be writing a movie script with old Home Improvement co-star Zachary Ty Bryan. But being out of the spotlight so long has to have set JTT back a bit financially, right? Sure, the kid was filthy rich for a long while. He was one of the biggest superstars in the world, but 10 years is a long time. Welp, it appears it’s not long enough when you have that JTT money. Now at 35-years old and a college graduate, Thomas is still a multimillionaire, with about $15 million to his name.
5. Macaulay Culkin – $15 Million
We can’t be the only ones to feel bad for Macaulay Culkin. When he was a child, he was legendary. Everyone knew his name and everyone loved him. We all know the story. He was cute and grew up a bit awkward. But didn’t we all? Next thing we knew, he was gone from the public eye. We then all heard the stories about his parents blowing his estate, his drug use and his weird post-fame lifestyle. He’s broke. It’s obvious…ly not true! Don’t believe the hate, fools. Culkin’s still rich. This guy is reportedly worth about $15 million still, and, by checking his most recent viral videos, he still has quite a bit of street cred. Culkin still dabbles with acting, though it can’t be his primary income. He’s probably just living on investment dividends. Richie Rich knows how to invest properly no doubt.
4. Freddie Prinze Jr. – $19 Million
Remember this name? Yeah, he’s another one of those actors who you’d bet dollars to donuts he’s washed up and near broke, but he isn’t. In other news, what in the world is that donuts saying all about? Back to Freddie. He’s mainly a voice actor now, specifically working on the Star Wars Rebels TV series for a few years. His career in front of the camera was dwindling for a while before it completely evaporated, but, since he’s been married to Sarah Michelle Gellar for over a decade, you’d think they’re doing alright, and they are. But here’s something trippy: Prinze Jr. is actually worth more than Gellar. It’s true. She’s got a net worth of $15 million, while he has a net worth of $19 million. Suck on that knowledge.
3. Calista Flockhart – $24 Million
Calista Flockhart was Ally McBeal in Ally McBeal. She also had a long run with Brothers & Sisters. Most recently she was in Supergirl, but that show’s commercials are so bad that we refused to watch it. Isn’t it funny how you know a TV show is going to be terrible by how it’s filmed. You’re thinking, is this show Canadian? Flockhart has nothing set up for the future post-Supergirl, so we’re under the belief that she’s accepted the fact that she’s washed up. She’ll probably just coast from here on out on that Ally McBeal money and Harrison Ford money (they’re together). She’s made a ton of cash in her career though. Today, she’s worth about $24 million, which is a lot considering her TV shows have sucked for a while.
2. Frankie Muniz – $40 Million
Remember when Frankie Muniz quit acting after Malcolm in the Middle had finished to become a race car driver? Then, after that was finished, he became a drummer in a band. After that was finished he came back to acting but has been relegated to the worst of the worst films, Sharknado sequels. Muniz has got to be desperate, clinging to any semblance of his former fame to ensure he can pay his bills. Nope, not the case. Is that trick still working? Maybe the title gave it away. Regardless, Muniz is still crazy rich. This guy is still worth $40 million and has barely even worked in the last decade, except in awful stuff. That being said, he was making $120,000 per episode by the end of Malcolm in the Middle, so that’s probably why. We know he wasn’t making any money driving race cars because he was finishing near last every race.
1. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen – $300 Million
How can you claim someone (or sometwo) is washed up when they’re worth over $300 million? Well, you just don’t think about. Just write it. Plus, the 2004 smash hit New York Minute was the last time they acted. After acting, the Olsen twins got into fashion and made looking homeless cool. You know you’re too rich when the only clothes you can’t get your hands on freely and must create yourself are poor people’s clothes. Whatever. The Olsen twins are weird now. We miss Michelle from Full House. Does anyone else think, and we mean this in the nicest possible way, that the Olsen twins look like Gollum?