There are all sorts of woman out there in the world. There are thin women, overweight women, tall ones, short ones, ones with great butts and hips, with big boobs, and ones that are totally skinny and flat chested. Guys tend to all have different types of women they are attracted to of course, so this whole thing usually works itself out. For each type of man there tends to be a woman with a type that works for him.
There are also a few other types of women out there that we have not mentioned, at least not really descriptively, and those are women who have banging bodies, but who are also kind of ugly looking in the face. You know the type- the “Butterface.” But what are we supposed to do about these chicks that have totally banging bodies, and also are kind of ugly in the face; what about them, I ask you? I mean here you are totally going crazy looking at their assets and then being all “I don’t think so” when it comes to what they look like – facially.
You might think that this is only a phenomenon that happens with your average women but I am here to tell you that you are wrong. There are all sorts of celebrity Butterfaces out there, and we are about to run down 15 of them for you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Here are 15 ugly celebs who get by with their hot bodies.
15. Brooke Hogan
This one just makes sense, and I mean it makes a lot of sense. How could Brooke Hogan not belong on this list? Look at her dad. He was in incredible shape, and a face that looked like it belonged to the guy working the night shift, pumping your gas in Arkansas. Brooke has struggled to be relevant, musically, for a long time, and I have to say her looks probably have something to do with it. Again, not that she is totally unattractive. That is, if you like the type that, if it all goes down, could probably totally beat the stuffing out of you (and I know a lot of you guys do), then Brooke is your girl. I mean woman. I mean….well whatever. She is kind of like what would happen if Xena, Warrior Princess, decided to work out a bit more, and stopped getting her nails done.
14. Iggy Azalea
Iggy Azalea is another one that is an absolute no-brainer for this list. It is not that she is not all that attractive, it is more that, once again, the disparity between her body and her face is pretty wide, and I mean like the Grand Canyon. No wonder Swaggy P was confused! If you missed it I am talking about the man she used to be engaged to, basketball player Nick Young, who she caught cheating. She said of this, “I broke up with Nick because I found out he had brought other women into our home while I was away and caught them on the security footage.” Two things Iggy: One, tweeting your boyfriend was cheating on you in your own home makes you both look bad; Two, you were engaged to a guy who goes by Swaggy P. Who ever gets surprised when a guy that goes by Swaggy P cheats on you?
13. Jennifer “JWoww” Farley
Okay, now it is getting good. JWoww is of course a former member of the cast of Jersey Shore. If you were to describe that show in a few words it would be something like “a bunch of lame idiots get drunk, fight, and try to get laid.” That show was oh so bad, and also oh so good! I mean some of it was so tasty, and other parts of it were so awful, like you felt bad just watching it. Of course, that is kind of similar to how it would feel going out with JWoww. Like some of it would be so good, and some of it would be totally awful, and you would feel bad just hanging out with her. Your friends would be equal parts jealous, or they would be totally wondering what you were thinking- pretty much all of that defined by the angle they were looking at her.
12. Christina Ricci
Christina Ricci is an interesting case when it comes to women with hot bodies who are not that hot in the face. She started off as a child star, appearing in Mermaids and The Addams Family, and then progressed to starring in some adult roles. The thing about her is that she was always odd looking as a child actor. I mean she played Wednesday Addams for crying out loud. And then when she became a star, it was the same vibe. There was nothing about her body that really made you take notice. Then like overnight it was just BAM; all of a sudden her body started to look absolutely slamming, and it still does. Sadly there is one other thing that looks the same and that is her face. Not that she is unattractive but… okay she is kind of.
11. Lady Gaga
Probably when you clicked the link you knew that Lady Gaga was going to be on it somewhere. How could she not be? She is sort of the poster child for that sort of uncomfortable feeling that a guy has when he is totally turned on and repulsed at the same time. If you were to talk about her to your friends you would almost certainly be like “yeah she does nothing for me at all, I don’t think she is even a little bit hot” and then when you are alone in your living room you would sit there watching her dance around on TV. I get it, I feel kind of the same way, and always have when it comes to her. There is something about her, (okay it’s her body), that draws you in, and then there is something else about her (yup, her face) that makes you pull away.
10. Tori Spelling
For those of you that do not know, Tori Spelling got her start on the show Beverly Hills 90210, which was produced by her father Aaron Spelling, who also was responsible for many other successful TV shows back then. In other words she has her father to thank for her career. She was confusing even way back then; every other chick on that show was totally gorgeous, while Tori was always this really odd looking chick that had a great body. I never knew whether I was supposed to feel attracted to her, or feel badly for her. All these years later I feel pretty much the same way. Tori has always had all the trappings of a hot chick, the hair, the clothes, the style, the body, and then you look at her face and it is like “uhhh.”
9. Courtney Stodden
Courtney Stodden. I mean come on. Courtney Stodden! I bet you feel as badly reading that name as I do writing it. What is up with her? I am not sure if she even has a hot body. It certainly seems like she does, but she is so overdone that it is hard to tell what is real and what isn’t. She is only 22-years-old and gives off the vibe that she is like 45, and going to get some work done every couple of months. I guess it makes sense that she gives off that kind of vibe though, considering she is attracted to guys that are like 90. One thing for sure is, the body and the face are simply not matching up. You could take that body, that hair, and all the makeup she uses and Photoshop your Uncle Bob’s face on it and some guys would be attracted to it.
8. Miley Cyrus
Miley Cyrus is a butterface. There is absolutely no doubt about it. Now you actually have to give her a bit of credit though. She is so busy cranking out tunes, twerking, doing and saying all sort of dumb things, and just, you know, being just a huge celebrity, that it is kind of hard to actually notice that her face is just simply not that hot. What is it with this kind of thing? Is it like a mass hypnosis kind of situation where somehow no one can really tell how goofy she actually really looks? The other thing about Miley is that she is only 24-years-old. What is she going to look like at 44, when the body catches up to the face? I simply do not want to know.
Check out Fergie if you will. I already know some of you are saying, “But Leon, these women are totally hot, why are you so mean?” or maybe even “Leon, I bet you are totally ugly too?” and all sorts of other clever things like that. Listen, some of these chicks, maybe most of them, are hot. In fact, all sorts of women are hot, of all sorts of body types. I know it, you know it, so calm down. But listen, Fergie has a body that simply will not quit. I mean she really is something else. And her face kind of looks like it belongs on the chick working at the library who seems disappointed in you, because you keep checking out books on serial killers. Let’s face it, her body is amazing, her face is not that great. It is what it is.
6. Hilary Swank
Now we are on to a slightly different category, in which Hilary Swank is a perfect example. She is a talented actress, who has won two Academy Awards for best actress, and has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. She seems nice, and is obviously a very smart woman. And her body? Thanks for asking, I was just getting to that. Her body is just totally amazing, she isn’t all that curvy, but has a great chest, and amazing legs. But yeah, her face, it just is not all that great. There is something that is just a tiny bit off about it. But hey, you are not supposed to say anything like that, it is Hilary Swank for crying out loud! She is hot. Right? Well yeah she is, of course she is, but if you saw her face on a chick working at Arby’s you would be like “meh.”
5. Uma Thurman
Uma Thurman is totally sexy. There is no doubt about that, even more so when she was younger than she is now. Just ask Quentin Tarantino if you don’t believe me; for a while it seemed like every movie he did had her in it, and they all had some sort of foot fetish scene involving her as well. But before all you guys that are into feet log into Hulu to watch those movies let me tell you something. Yes, she is sexy. Yes, her body is amazing. Yes, she always has really cool hair and gives off this vibe of the totally hot art student you had a crush on in college but were not cool enough to go out with. All of that is true. But one more thing that is true is that she is not all that good looking when it comes to the face. Not at all. There. I said it.
4. Nicki Minaj
Nicki Minaj has a pretty amazing body, there is no doubt about that. If you don’t believe me just google some images of her on the Internet. Go ahead. I will still be here when you come back in half an hour or so. Anyway, for whenever you get back, her face does not quite keep up with the rest of her. There even have been some issues in the past where she has become upset for people getting on her Instagram and her Twitter feeds and calling her ugly. When that happened she got kind of uptight and struck back by posting photos of some of the people that said that on her page. Well, I have a couple things to say about this. Nicki- your face is kind of odd looking, and don’t try to post my photo as it would just backfire as I am ridiculously good looking.
3. Lea Michele
Lea Michele has some nice qualities, of this there can be no doubt. Everyone seems to like her, at least a little bit. First and foremost is her body, and next is that she just has that whole All-American, good girl thing going on, which of course she would have to have as the star of Glee. But the reality of the situation is that she is kind of goofy looking. Not quite ugly per se, but totally goofy looking. Don’t get me wrong; if you are looking for someone to take to the prom, or to bring home to mom, her looks are just fabulous. But when you have a body like hers some other thoughts come to mind from time to time about how one could spend time with her, and that is when the disparity between her body and her face really hit home.
2. Anna Faris
Anna Faris was totally adorable when she first started out, particularly when she was in Scary Movie, but as time has gone on she has become a little bit more suspect in the face with each passing year. This is truly tragic as her body has continued to look totally smoking, and I do mean totally. She always has kind of had a goofy vibe, which plays pretty well when you are like blonde and 20-years-old, but does not help a whole lot when you are pushing 40. What seemed kind of quirky and cute when you were young can seem sort of odd when you get a little bit older, and Anna is a very good example of that. Her body, though not only just won’t quit, but it actually seems totally incapable of quitting. It still looks awesome.
1. Jillian Michaels
I picked Jillian Michaels here, but I just as easily could have picked one of thousands of women that have the same vibe. Some of these women are celebrities, while others are just women that jam up your social media feeds with shots of how their abs, legs, and butts look all the time. All these chicks do is work out and they want pretty much constant reinforcement about how amazing they look and how awesome their bodies are. Of course there is one problem, a lot of them look a lot like Jillian, who has an amazing body, and a face that reminds me of a catcher’s mitt. As long as we get nothing but gym shots of her everything is fine- more than fine actually. But as soon as we get the dreaded head shot, everything changes. There is no 20-minute workout that is going to help that face.