There is a list of traditional gifts for milestone wedding anniversaries. We all know that 25 years of matrimony is the Silver Anniversary, 50 years is referred to as the Golden Anniversary, and the 60th is the Diamond Anniversary.
Hollywood has enjoyed some long marriages, like Mel Brooks & Anne Bancroft who were married for 41 years until Brooks became a widower. Joanne Woodward was widowed by Paul Newman after 50 years of marital bliss. Ben Stiller‘s parents reached 60 years of marriage.
However, we are not here to celebrate their happiness. Instead, we are here to bask in the misery of those Hollywood power couples whose sparks fizzled out.
Since there have been enough stories on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie‘s dissolution of Brangelina, we will focus on some of the celebrity split-ups that have received less coverage. Don’t worry though; this article will contain some big-named A-listers. This list will focus on 15 Ugliest Recent Hollywood Divorces. Then again, are Hollywood divorces less than ugly? If they weren’t so ugly, this list would be 15 Not So Ugly Hollywood Divorces. While there are some less than ugly Hollywood divorces, there aren’t 15 of them. Divorce court is now in session!
15. Janet Jackson & Wissam Al Mana
Janet Jackson & Wissam Al Mana: Hot off the press! The body is still cold on this one as it is currently unfolding in April 2017. When you sing a hit song about nasty boys, what type of man do you expect to get? Seriously, we are not taking sides here because they are both wrong here. The couple has a three-month-old baby, and they are already having disagreements with how to raise the child and religion. What did you think was going to happen? The couple has a combined net worth of over $1 billion, and most of which was his. If the judge takes into consideration a bizarre family consisting of an alleged pedophile, drug-overdosing brother, and abusive fathers, then Al Mana should be victorious in the custody battle over the infant.
14. David Schwimmer & Zoe Buckman
David Schwimmer & Zoe Buckman: The problem here is that David Schwimmer has vast experience being a good friend, which he learned from his time on NBC’s Friends. He has no experience holding on to his wife and making her happy. The couple was quoted as saying, “Our priority is, of course, our daughter’s happiness…” Seeing mommy and daddy split up and live in separate homes where you have to share your time, holidays, having belongings at two residences, and probably feeling like it is your fault even though your parents often tell you it is not, is certainly the most effective way to ensure your daughter’s happiness. Every five-year-old child wants this. By the way, the Friends series lasted longer than this marriage.
13. Scarlett Johannson & Romain Dauriac
Scarlett Johannson & Romain Dauriac: This couple lasted for at least two years before the Black Widow decided she no longer wanted any part of this marriage. Hollywood couples like this always cry that they want ordinary lives, as they cash their million dollar checks, and then they don’t conduct themselves like normal people. Many of them are just incapable of making things work in relationships like this. At least these folks don’t have a five-year-old like Schwimmer does. They have a two-year-old. The two remain business partners as they are co-owners of the Yummy Pop brand of snacks. Let’s see how long that lasts.
12. Cuba Gooding Jr. & Sara Kapfer
Cuba Gooding Jr. & Sara Kapfer: At least these two tried to make it work. The marriage lasted for over 20 years. The pair has three children, two of which are in their early twenties. Their youngest daughter is about to enter her teens. Sometimes, things just don’t work out the way you expect them to. We are not sure when the troubles started but it probably wasn’t a sudden thing; they had to see it coming. This would indicate that the pair stuck it out for the sake of the children as long as they possibly could, which says more about them over the other split-ups we have discussed so far. Things could get ugly in the divorce as Kapfer says during a distribution of the couple’s assets, “Show me the money!”
11. Kate Beckinsale & Len Wiseman
Kate Beckinsale & Len Wiseman: It was Wiseman who decided to wisen up and untie the knot. According to TMZ, Wiseman files for divorce and cited irreconcilable differences as the reason to end things. Unlike the other couples before them thus far. This couple had no children despite being married for 12 years. While that is a good thing for those potential children, it shows that this couple was not about love in the first place. If they actually loved each other in the first place and wanted that love to endure for generations to come, they would have had a couple of rug rats after more than a decade of marriage. We can find fault in just about anything.
10. Tobey Maguire & Jennifer Meyers
Tobey Maguire & Jennifer Meyers: This couple has children like the others. While the kids are still young, they are old enough to soften the stigma of divorced parents a bit. However, the one issue here that indicates things were not on the right track to begin with, is that this may have been a forced marriage. Their oldest child was born almost a year before the two even became a married couple. Not only does this kid have to deal with the whole multiple family scenario, he/she will also one day realize that he/she was not planned, and just a product of passion. A source close to the couple claimed that the breakup “was not over anything specific or dramatic,” and “grew apart and realized they both had changed as people.” Changing for them would be a good thing since they are irresponsible people.
9. Naomi Watts & Liev Schreiber
Naomi Watts & Liev Schreiber: The pair has been married for just over a decade and has two young children together. We could repeat just about anything we have said thus far about the other couples, but why beat a dead horse? We do wonder just how amicable things are between the two. Schreiber was asked about the split on TV by Gayle King, and he seemed upset that she asked. King is obviously a better journalist than Liv is a husband. He had nothing but seemingly nice things to say about his soon-to-be ex-wife. Watts stated that she is in a “good place” with consideration to the split. So, where was she before with him? In a bad place? The one at fault is usually the one who talks nice because they know they are wrong and have no defense against it. The wronged one is generally happier they are out of the relationship. Draw your own conclusion.
8. Johnny Depp & Amber Heard
Johnny Depp & Amber Heard: This is the ugliest one so far. Amber files for divorce after 15 months of marriage and just three days after Depp’s mother passed away. She cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for divorce. Okay, no big deal, right? We mentioned that as the reason for the Wiseman-Beckinsale split. However, Heard has also filed for and was granted a restraining order against Depp. She claims domestic abuse as the reason. Bruised photos of Amber are circulating and she alleges they were caused by Jack Sparrow, the womanizing pirate. Sources also say Amber is blackmailing Depp. The couple is fighting for custody over their…wait for it…wait for it…DOG! The judge did not find sufficient evidence that the dog was in danger. There is no prenuptial agreement, and Amber is only asking for $50,000 per month in support. We are not sure that $600,000 per year is enough to live on with the current price of gas.
7. Kaley Cuoco & Ryan Sweeting
Kaley Cuoco & Ryan Sweeting: The ugliness continues. Cuoco’s reason for ending the marriage was that she alleges Sweeting as being sweet on painkillers and suffers from an addiction to them. She has also stated that she thought she would have a baby by now. She has openly remarked that since his back surgery, he underwent prescribed medications. She further went on to admit that she offered to support him in beating the habit but he would provide excuses and just go and get wasted afterward. Obviously, the couple has no children since Kaley indicated she thought she would be a mother already. The pair said after less than three years of marriage, “We don’t.”
6. Mary J. Blige & Martin “Kendu” Isaacs
Mary J. Blige & Martin “Kendu” Isaacs: Blige filed for divorce in this case and listed the date of separation as “to be determined.” Perhaps, she is just planning to split at this point. We have no idea why she would file for divorce and declare that the date as still to be determined. She apparently doesn’t understand that when you file for divorce, you are splitting up at that very moment if you already have not split up yet. The couple has no children together. Isaacs is also her manager, and Blige is trying to block him from requesting spousal support. It has not been confirmed if there is a prenup. Isaacs should start looking for more clients to represent because we have a feeling, based on her actions, that she may be firing him soon. If that will happen, it has yet “to be determined.”
5. Drew Barrymore & Will Kopelman
Drew Barrymore & Will Kopelman: Kopelman attributes Barrymore’s “hippie nature” as the reason there was a strain on the marriage. The couple of barely four years have had a boy and a girl after they were married. This is another couple who claims they are putting the welfare of their children first. We just don’t understand how Kopelman can argue that. How hard is it to get along with a tree-hugger? All they want is peace and love. They aren’t difficult to get along with. They are typically non-confrontational. This leads us to believe that there is more to this than meets the eyes. Perhaps Kopelman is at fault, and the hippie just figures, “whatever, man!”
4. Casey Affleck & Summer Phoenix
Casey Affleck & Summer Phoenix: The couple is a pairing of two famous Hollywood families. Casey is the brother of Ben Affleck and Summer is the sister of Joaquin Phoenix and the late River Phoenix. The couple has two children. The oldest was already two years old when the couple got hitched. They appear to be handling things well since Affleck thanked her during the Golden Globes. Did he really thank her at the Academy Awards? That makes you wonder. Seriously though, they do seem to be getting along in the divorce.
3. Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin
Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin: People act so surprised about this split, but not us. The pair was known never to be photographed together on the red carpet at events and often arrived separately over the course of their decade-long marriage. The duo has two children, but at least this couple waited until they got married. This implies they thought they knew what they were doing. Those close to the divorcing stars have stated that they really tried to get to know each other. We could be wrong, but shouldn’t you know who you are marrying and be willing to accept their little quirks? Marriage should not be taken lightly just as children should not be taken lightly. A Paltrow connection has stated that they “really tried to make the marriage work, but sometimes it’s best to not be married” and “They know that about each other now.” Too little, too late.
2. Dennis Quaid & Kimberly Buffington
Dennis Quaid & Kimberly Buffington: The couple has a set of nine-year-old twins and has been married for about 12 years. The age difference between Quaid and Buffington, at 17 years, is greater than their union. Buffington filed for divorce. No, wait a second. They are back together and trying to work it out. Hold on a second. She filed for divorce again. Forget it. They are working things out after all. Nope, sorry, she filed for divorce a third time. What’s worse on children than filing for divorce? How about filing for it three times and forcing them into a life of fear and confusion. Well, maybe murdering their mother would be worse, unless you ask O.J. Simpson, who was acquitted of murdering Nicole Brown Smith.
1. Lisa Marie Presley & Andrew Lockwood
Lisa Marie Presley & Andrew Lockwood: The daughter of Elvis Presley, the King of Rock, and ex-wife of Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, has checked into the Heartbreak Hotel. Not because over the divorce of Andrew Lockwood though. She is heartbroken over the exploited children in the disturbing photos found in his possession. Before conducting our research, based on this picture alone, we were going to comment that he looked like a creepy cross between Johnny Depp’s Willy Wonka and Tom Petty. He resembles a creeper. The couple has twin girls. We pray they were not affected by his deranged sickness. Presley was ordered to pay $50,000 to cover his legal fees. Lockwood will not face charges in Tennessee, where it is legal to marry your sister. Way to drop the ball and protect children, Tennessee!