Why is it that so many douchebags generally like the same douchey things? From crappy bestseller books that are actually a pile of self obsessed crap, to musical bands that produce nothing but awful and insignificant Muzak, the entertainment industry has turned into a self indulgent mess. In fact, things are so bad, that anything ‘popular’, immediately turns into a withering narcissistic machine, spinning the same old cogs that came before it. Take television for example, coming from something that was once called the ‘idiot box’, TV has somehow managed to infiltrate the minds of many, taking over the living room as if it were one large space ship intent on taking over the world. With the same old followers tuning in every week to the same old shows that are mass produced by over demanding networks, the television industry has become something of a burden rather than a celebration. That’s right, with it now absolutely impossible to find anything decent to watch, let alone anything of any actual worth, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that television is not what it used to be, despite the billions of channels it has to offer. Plus, with each television show offering its audience the same old rubbish, churning out the same old recycled storylines, while spurting out the same old actors and actresses, television can actually be rather depressing. So, to celebrate such dire entertainment, here are 15 TV shows that only douchebags love to watch.
15. The Apprentice
Based on the British born reality TV show in which a number of contestants battle it out to become the best business person of all time, The Apprentice made its way state side in 2004 and is still running today. Famed for having now President-elect, Donald Trump, at the helm, the show was miserably dull, with Trump surprisingly not the worst thing about it. Giving the actual world of business a bad name, The Apprentice is so stupid, that the contestants who star on the show are about as intelligent as the ones you’d find over on MTV. Claiming to be all about the business, the challenges on the show are about as far away from business as you could possibly get, with tasks usually ending up with selling sausages, or running around New York looking for an antique ashtray. Promoting unprofessional career decisions and terrible advice, The Apprentice will forever be remembered as a joke, especially with regards to what became of its most famous employee…
14. CSI: Miami – Or Any CSI
Spreading all over television like a media infected rash, the CSI franchise has morphed into a world of its own, taking over a number of different states and a variety of people’s time. That’s right, with CSI: Las Vegas, CSI: Miami, CSI: Washington D.C. and the infamous CSI: New York doing the rounds, it seems cop shows are now the way forward, leaving no room for anything else; anything decent, that is. Usually deemed as the worst of the bunch, CSI: New York is about as exciting as watching paint dry on a Saturday night. It’s almost as bad as having to watch David Caruso from CSI: Miami. The man has become the running gag of almost every social circle with his cheesy lines and classic shades. Gone are the interesting cases, exhilarating car chases, and gory crime scenes, instead we are lumbered actors doing their best to stay alert and awake among the dull and stereotypical storylines. Yes, we get it, it’s a big city and it’s full of crime and you’re going to save the day.
Firstly, with a name like Arrow, what do you expect? Following the trends, Arrow is based on the original DC Comic, Green Arrow, in which a costumed crime fighter fights crime, with erm.. well… arrows. Failing to jump on the bandwagon, Arrow is one of only a select few that managed to totally disappoint with regards to its original foundation, instead producing one of the silliest and most ridiculous programs in a long time. That’s right, Robin Hood this ain’t, Arrow is so lame, that it runs like a teenage drama for girls rather than a comic book superhero, with feelings and emotions seemingly taking more of an importance than the conquering earth type storylines and defeating the bad guys. However, despite its terrible premise, Arrow is still going strong, now on its fifth season with no sign of slowing down. How?!
Coming at a time when TV was more or less dead, Lost basically reinvented the continual series drama, offering audiences something that they had never quite seen before. In fact, Lost was so good, that at the beginning it created friendships as well as romances outside of the television world, with a number of fans across the globe desperate to offer up their own theories with one another. However, getting ahead of itself, like so many TV shows do, Lost got a little too excited, as well as insanely difficult to follow. Staying true to its actual name, fans were well and truly lost, with storylines growing on nonsense with regards to previous seasons. With normal people waving goodbye to the ridiculousness of the show’s direction, it was left to the desperate and hopeless to wait it out, giving script writers that last ditch attempt at redeeming themselves. However, wasting everyone’s time, they didn’t, with the last few episodes of Lost as terrible as the fans that had forced them to write it.
Billed as the male version of Sex and The City, Entourage is anything but. Boring, bland and highly predictable, Entourage is not as smart as it originally intended to be, lacking any kind of humor or originality. Touching upon modern-day Hollywood, male friendships and the entertainment business, the show is also famed for its array of famous guests, attracting a number of high profile actors, athletes and well known faces from a number of other industries. However, despite being so painstakingly dull, Entourage is still exceptionally popular, even making it as a feature film in 2015. In fact, Entourage is so awful, that upon opening a dictionary it is likely that you will find a picture of the show listed under the word douchebag, with the show as douchey as one could possibly get. Attracting the same kind of characters portrayed in the TV show, Entourage is redundant rubbish, robbing you of a precious 25 minutes.
Just what we need, another medical drama. Dubbed the hospital show with a difference, House depicts the exploits of a super intelligent know-it-all, intent on being rude to as many different people as possible. With each episode portraying a medical mishap that must be solved within the hour, the storylines run like a repetitive eye sore that just won’t go away. Monotonous and tedious, House is so dull that it’s not nearly as smart as the showrunners think it is, with fans of the show displaying the exact same qualities. That’s right, just as boring as the medicine itself, House fans illustrate just how douchey people really can be, pretending to understand every single nonsensical nonsense that comes out of each characters mouth. Dragging on for an insufferable eight seasons, House finally came to an end in 2012, giving everybody a rest until the next hip and cool medical drama came bouncing along weeks later.
9. Sons Of Anarchy
What is Sons of Anarchy even about? A question that has left the lips of many, apart from fans of the show that is, who are so vehemently supportive of the show that they daren’t hear anything bad about it. Dubbed a motorbike crime drama, whatever that means, Sons of Anarchy deals with topics such as vigilantism, white supremacy and drugs. Terrible in so many ways, it seems misogyny is high on the list, with the women of the show treated as low class citizens of no importance. That’s right, not even used as a plot ploy, the female leads are just downright ignored, leaving it to the men to look macho and hunky in front of the ever so eye catching camera. Desperate to make bad people look sympathetic, the show fails in every single way, instead delivering an offensive and badly written TV series.
8. Family Guy
Loved and adored by douchebags all over the world, Family Guy still continues to be unfunny and ridiculous, even at fifteen seasons. Created by uber idiot, Seth MacFarlane, the show centers on the Griffins, a family of four misguided souls intent on being as gross and offensive as possible. However, with that not actually being a problem, we all love a little controversy, it’s the fact that the jokes are about as funny as a reality TV star becoming President. Desperately trying to be the next South Park, Family Guy fails at all attempts, with South Park seemingly that little bit more intelligent than its wannabe little brother. Plus, with MacFarlane constantly refusing to offer his characters any form of change whatsoever, the show has now become one never ending loop of the same old storylines and monotonous repetitive jokes. Predictable, boring and controversial just for the sake of it, Family Guy is one of the most overrated shows in the history of television.
7. Prison Break
One of the most stupid shows on television, Prison Break has a premise so thin, that you can predict what is going to happen before the show even begins. With the plot being that of a man getting himself sent to prison to free his brother (who’s in that same prison), the series doesn’t have a lot of room to move, especially when we see the brother follow through with his plans. However, managing to last for an all mighty four painstakingly long seasons, the show was somehow a success, attracting those of a simpler mind. In fact, Prison Break is so bad that it is actually worth watching just to see how terrible it is, especially as one of its most beloved characters is a homicidal rapist with a penchant for minors. Plus, with the script full of ridiculous and insane plot twists that actually make no sense whatsoever, the acting is also a piece of work, even managing to make Wentworth Miller look bad. Boring, stupid and a waste of time, it is a surprise this show ever got green lit in the first place.
6. Jersey Shore
Jersey Shore most certainly takes the top spot for worst show MTV has released. Following the lives of eight housemates as they embark on a summer of debauchery on the Jersey Shore, USA, Jersey Shore is probably the most embarrassing TV show to have ever come out of the USA, and that’s saying something. Controversial to say the least, the show garnered a reputation, especially with regards to how New Jersey was being portrayed and the Italian-American community within it. Launching the careers of many, the world was unfortunately lumbered with the dregs of millennial society such as Michael Sorrentino, AKA ‘The Situation’ and Nicole Polizzi, AKA Snooki. With fans of the show often displaying the same amount of douchebag type behavior as those who star in the torrid affair, Jersey Shore has gone down in history as one of the most repulsive programs to have been aired on television.
5. How I Met Your Mother
Dubbed the next Friends, How I Met Your Mother was certainly not, instead dragging out a ridiculous storyline into nine long and tedious seasons. Centering on five friends, the plot sees one man tell his children how he came to meet their mother. Built around not revealing the lady in question, the plot wore thin extremely quickly, with the repetitive storylines and unfunny humor that extra cherry on top of a boring and monotonous TV series. Plus, with the main characters all extremely unlikable, it seemed the show was only designed for those who also displayed a sense of smug admiration. Famed for stupid catchphrases, ridiculous cut away gags, and bad writing, the show was so desperate to become the next Friends, that its whole premise screamed false from the get-go. Irritating, annoying, and completely overstaying its welcome, nine years?! How I Met Your Mother also managed to produce one of the worst finales ever written in the history of television.
4. The Walking Dead
Still immensely popular, The Walking Dead has now become a cult hit rather than an actual hit TV show. Starting life in high regards, the first few seasons were borderline insane, in a good way. Based on the comic book series of the same name, The Walking Dead was famed for its gory blood shed and hide-behind-your-hands storylines. Shocking audiences with a ‘nobody’s safe’ type script, The Walking Dead was exciting and even interesting— a difficult feat for a genre that had been tried and tested a number of times. However, much like a number of other shows, The Walking Dead began to fray, becoming predictable and obvious as the series went on. That’s right, killing off anyone who so much as breathed, fans were beginning to get impatient, leaving those left to carry on declaring it was indeed the best show on earth. Now, remembered as that show that just wasn’t as good as Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead will most likely be forgotten and lumbered with the billions of other crappy zombie thrillers.
3. Big Brother
Insultingly based on the tremendous George Orwell novel 1984, Big Brother is a reality TV game show that should have ended years ago. Originating in Europe, the concept sees a number of people locked inside a house, with housemates nominating a person to leave each week. Originally proposed as a ‘social experiment’, the idea swiftly went out of the window, with it now designed to see who is gross enough to have sex live on television. Attracting the lowest of the low, contestants on the show are seen as brainless idiots, obviously having no life of their own in the outside world, intent on becoming fame hungry media whores, mirroring their own fans. Never far from controversy, the franchise has had two possible occurrences of rape, as well as violence and glorifying the concept of alcohol abuse. By watching this crap you are not only contributing to the rubbish of reality TV, but excusing its lurid and disgusting behavior.
2. Breaking Bad
OK. Before you get all angry and start whining about how Breaking Bad was the best thing on television, or how Breaking Bad had the best ever actors and the best ever storylines, just calm down and think about it for a second. Like really think about it. Overrated and over hyped, Breaking Bad also seemingly attracted the same kind of people. Watched by those who only followed the hype, Breaking Bad is the definition of the word ‘bandwagon’, with a number of people only claiming to love it because they were told to. However, if people were brave enough to look closer, they would see how insanely misogynistic the show could be, especially with regards to how the female characters were regularly treated, and its strange obsession with severe masculinity. Plus, with a tendency for casual racism as well as giving a poor representation of drug users in general, Breaking Bad is not what it is cracked up to be.
Based on the original concept of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s legendary tales of Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock was the revamp of all revamps on its initial release. Intelligent, thought provoking and extremely well acted, the show was a marvel to behold, especially with its twists and turns that constantly left people guessing. However, like most things, as time went on, the storylines began to get stale, with the show believing itself to be smarter than it actually was. Now, on its fourth season, Sherlock has well and truly lost the mark, instead presenting itself as a fantasy mind splotch, rather than a crime drama. Jumping the shark to say the least, even the main characters have had enough, with now famous actor Benedict Cumberbatch seemingly too famous for such low brow material. Tedious, confusing, and difficult to watch, Sherlock is now only followed by those who claim to have seen that twist coming all along, yeah right.