Imagine a childhood where O.J. Simpson is your godfather, but your mother threatens to kill you. Where your mom gets you to lie to your dad about her boyfriend. Or one where your celebrity stepdad wears your dresses, but pulls strings when you get into trouble. Where there are whispers that your dad isn’t really your dad. And your mother is so intent on fame and fortune that she will sacrifice her child’s reputation to pitch a reality TV show. Rumors? Maybe. But rumors backed by diaries allegedly written by your dead father, the words of his second and third wives and a book written by a journalist who spent years researching your family.
Twenty or so years ago, nobody had heard of the Kardashians, outside their charmed, little nouveau-riche Beverley Hills circle of friends. Robert Kardashian was a just about smart enough lawyer, turned businessman who pretended to have a lot of money when he didn’t. His wife Kris, eleven years his junior, loved spending money and having affairs, sometimes with much younger men. And the kids? Well, the contradictory words ‘abused’ and ‘spoiled’ come up a lot. One of Robert’s post-Kris wives seemed to sum up the whole dysfunctional mess, “The way I see it… You have a father who’s always acting like he’s a big star and he’s not, and four kids acting like they’re big stars.” And then there was the Queen Bee, who became the momager. Okay, it gets better, or worse, depending on how you look at it. After Kris’ nasty divorce from Kardashian was finalized in 1991, Kris married Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner, who already had four kids. Then Kendall and Kylie come along. Did they know about Bruce’s cross-dressing? Of course they did.
And this was how the Kardashian-Jenners grew up: Spoiled, entitled and out of control. It’s not nice, but it is very real. Here are 15 things the Kardashian-Jenners don’t want you to know about their so-called childhoods. And maybe, just maybe, it explains why they are all so totally screwed up.
15. Meet Todd: Don’t Tell Your Father
Todd Waterman was around 24-years-old and Kris ten years older when they started their affair in 1989. Kris and Robert Kardashian had been married around eleven years. Khloe was around five and sometimes would go out with the pair, Kris warning her to not mention it to her father. To say it was a hot affair, is an understatement (apparently the first time they did it was in a closet at a friend’s house). Then, a jealous Robert hired detectives to follow they pair and himself showed up at Todd’s apartment as he and Kris drove out in his Jeep, confronting them and wielding a golf club. Terrified he had a gun, the pair fled. Todd was, to put it bluntly, an out of work soccer player and so Kris and her credit cards paid most of the time. Robert knew how to cause money-mad Kris the most pain and after he filed for divorce, he cut off her credit cards. According to Waterman, the divorce knocked the kids for a loop and they cried and cried and cried.
14. Why Is Mommy Sleeping On The Floor?
The diaries came via Robert Kardashian’s third wife and his widow, Ellen Pierson. And, tellingly, the Kardashians verified their authenticity by taking Ellen to court, claiming the diaries were rightfully theirs. Oh, there’s plenty of stuff about Todd Waterman. But there’s also a not-so flattering running portrait of Kris partying hard with Waterman, locking herself in her room and sleeping for days and coming in late and passing out on the floor of the Kardashian house. And there are entries like, “She doesn’t care! She left [the] kids and screwed all night!” Reportedly, sometimes she even forgot to pick up the kids from school. And Todd Waterman has claimed that the child that suffered the most in all of this was Kourtney, who was old enough to realize what was going on. But who did Kourtney resent more, her partying-hard mother or the divorce-filing father?
13. Mommy To Kim: I’ll Kill You
After Robert Kardashian left and filed for divorce, the kids had a right to be upset. There was Kris, credit cards cut off, intent on pursuing her affair with Todd Waterman, out partying, sleeping for days on end to recover. She was borrowing money from friends and battling Robert on the divorce front. By all accounts, she was pretty desperate, demanding $10,000 a month from her soon-to-be ex. But was she abusive? Back to Robert Kardashian’s diaries. An alleged incident involving Kris and Kim says yes she was. According to In Touch Weekly, 0n August 24, 1989 daddy Kardashian wrote, “Kris was kicking and beating [Kim] and said she was going to kill her! Kim was hysterical. Kris then got on the phone and said, ‘Kim if you don’t get up here right now you are dead!’” The Christmas card is from 1988. What is striking is that poor young Robert Jr. seems to realize he is in for a sh*tty life. And the second thing? What eight-year-old has their own Christmas card?
12. O.J. And The Birth Of The Kardashians
After the divorce in 1991, the children were shuttled back and forth between Kris and Robert. O.J. Simpson, a big movie star at the time, and Robert continue to be friends. O.J. is “uncle O.J.” to the kids. Then in 1994 came the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson. O.J. was arrested and tried in 1995. Dad thinks he is innocent. Mom, a friend of Nicole’s, thinks he guilty as sin. And the kids are torn as to which parent to support. Tellingly, Robert seems to get more backing from the kids than Kris. But what happened over the course of 1995 was the transformation of Robert Kardashian from an unknown lawyer and businessman to a TV celebrity. The trial was a sensation and was televised almost non-stop. Robert probably got more air time on TV than many TV stars. And perhaps the impact of this was exaggerated in 2016’s The People v. O.J. Simpson, when Robert lectures his children on the dangers of fame, but three years later when Robert marries rich widow Jan Ashley, we start getting an outsider’s view of the Kardashian clan. And it’s not a pretty one. Robert has no money, but acts like a celebrity. Ditto for his demanding ex-wife and kids, one of whom she calls a “b*tch” and another an “out of control wild child”. More on that later.
11. The Scoop From The Nanny: Profanity, Cruelty And Fights
Now, the thing about Kris Jenner is that everyone knows she’s a complete b*tch. That’s part of the image. And we know about Robert’s accusations of abuse and claims of drunken partying and neglect of the kids. Now, the thing is Kris famously gets staff to sign confidentiality agreements, not to spill the beans. But very occasionally they do. Take former nanny Pam Behan, who worked for the Kardashian – Jenner family for five years. Nobody, except maybe Bruce, comes out looking good in her accounts. According to Radar Online, Kris not only made the blonde nanny cry, but also poked fun at Khloe about her weight, saying things like “You aren’t allowed to have cookies, Khloe. You are getting a little chubby.” Talk about messing up your own daughter. And the others? “The girls were all so selfish and shallow – a family of fakes! They would have knock-down, drag-out fights over designer clothes. By the end, they would be crying and bleeding.” They would wear something once or twice and then give it away. Kris was determined that she and her kids would be rich and famous, no matter what it took. And her kids? She expected them to be the same. Everything for fame and fortune.
10. My Dad Steals My Dresses
Okay. Bruce Jenner came out in 2015 (some say just in time to deflect interest from a car accident he had been in that resulted in a death). Oh my, what a surprise that Bruce had those tendencies. Not. Remember the nanny? She said she knew there were gender issues. And the kids? When Bruce did that interview with Diane Sawyer in 2015, he admitted that Kim, Kendall and Kylie all caught him dressed as a woman. Kim walked in and caught him once. Reaction? She walked out, jumped in the car and went for a ride. As in ‘get me out of here’? Everybody in the family knew, but nobody talked about it. Is that messed up or what? When one of them thought the other had been stealing her clothes, either Kendall or Kylie set up a computer cam to catch the culprit. What did they get? Their father posing in front of a mirror in one of their dresses. Now, if that isn’t a recipe for a totally messed up childhood, we don’t know what is. Apparently, he was considering transitioning way back in the 1980s. And the most bizarre comment he made? Had Kris agreed to his becoming a woman, they might have still been married. By the way, this is for free: Ian Halperin thinks he kept his male bits and may go back to Bruce.
9. The Wild Child Daddy Tried To Protect
With nanny Pam. It will surprise no one that the young Khloe had (and has) issues, including DUI and a car accident that left her with memory loss. And all that hassle from mom about her weight. Troubled? Yes, definitely. But there’s more. As a teenager she dramatically went from a size 12 to a 0. Mommy wasn’t concerned. She was probably pleased as punch. And the same thing happened after her split from Lamar Odom. Robert Kardashian’s second wife, Jan Ashley, reports yet another problem. According to her, the then 14-year-old Khloe “dated everyone”. Meaning? Khloe would disappear. Where’s Khloe, Robert would ask? He’d then jump in his car and drive off to the wrong side of the tracks to bad neighborhoods to stop what Jan called “her interaction with the opposite sex”. He would yell at her: “Get in the car”.
8. Step-Mom: They Were Mean Brats And Kourtney Was A B*tch
Jan Ashley was a rich widow when she married Robert Kardashian in 1998. According to Ashley, “They were kids that were brats. I never met kids like that. I don’t know why they were so mean. But they were.” She also called them a family of fakes who thought they were stars and entitled to everything they wanted. And that included Robert. The kids made constant demands on their dad for more and more money. Courtney yelled at him. Jan recalled a Thanksgiving when she was trying to make a nice dinner for the family. When she asked Kourtney (then nineteen) to put out the plates, she refused, saying “I’m too busy. Go away, I’m busy”. Jan complained to dad, saying Kourtney was a b*tch. And daddy’s opinion? He made excuses: She’s just a kid, he said. Get out, Ashley said.
7. Bruce And Kris Didn’t Have A Pot To P*ss In
The combined Kardashian – Jenner play happy families. Kris Jenner claimed she didn’t take a dime from her ex-husband Robert. But, according to Ian Halperin, the divorce settlement required he pay Jenner $5,000 a month. According to Halperin, “[Bruce] didn’t have a pot to piss in” when he married Kris. But they lived in a mansion, were buying designer everything and had servants. It was a lie. See, then-Bruce Jenner had never really managed to parlay his Olympic success in the 1970s into anything much. Throughout the 1990s, Kris threw herself into “managing” his so-called career. And what did that amount to? For the most part, the odd infomercial, reality TV and occasional acting gigs. Then that tape that led to that show, that led to fame and fortune. Yes, for the Kardashian – Jenners, the world is divided into “Before Kim’s S*x Tape” and “After Kim’s Sex Tape”. And the 1990s Jenners were totally BKST big time. By the way, Brody Jenner, his son from a previous marriage, doesn’t speak to Kris and has angrily said the Kardashians are certainly not his family.
6. Momager And “The Tape”
Of all the Kardashian lies, the one about the s*x tape is right up there. When Kim was in her early 20s (say around 2003), she made a tape with her then singer boyfriend Ray J. Then, shock, horror and lawsuits in 2007 when Vivid Entertainment was said to have leaked the tape onto the Internet, making our Kim a household name overnight. The Kardashians sued Vivid, ending in Kim being paid $5 million to drop the suit. Next thing you know is that Kris is marching into Ryan Seacrest’s office pitching a reality show about her family, starring the “s*x tape girl”. Now author of Kardashian Dynasty Ian Halperin did his homework and rolled up to the Vivid offices pretending he had a celebrity s*x tape to sell. His verdict? “It is clear that Vivid would not have announced plans to distribute Kim’s tape without a clear indication from the family that they would give the go-ahead once they had come to terms on a price.” Kylie and Kendall Jenner were only 10 and 12 years-old and headed for reality TV.
5. The Step-Mom The Kids Saw Off
Back to Jan Ashley. She married Robert Kardashian in 1998. She was smart enough to get a pre-nup. They were married in Vail, Colorado and took his four kids on their honeymoon. WTF? True. Robert said they were just going to “run around with us for a while”. It didn’t take her long to realize that all this rich and famous stuff was just a fake act. In fact she said that everything they did was acting. “They weren’t rich… I know Robert pretended he did [have money]”, but he didn’t. Would she have had kids with Kardashian? No way she says. She would be afraid that they would turn out like Kourtney and Kris. Besides, after thirty days our Jan had had enough of the Kardashians. She went to her attorney to start proceedings for an annulment. “What took you so long?” he said. Seems those in the know knew the family was living a lie. She was only relieved, saying it took her about a day to get over it.
4. Kim And Robert Were The Nice Ones
The nanny and Kardashian’s second and third wives agree: The kids were spoiled, overly entitled and out of control. But out of them all the nicest ones were Kim and Robert. Kim very early on knew she was going to be rich and famous and said so. She set up an eBay business selling clothes for the rich kids she knew, taking a percentage. She attached herself to Paris Hilton, literally taking notes on how to be a celebrity. She learned a lot. Sex tape. Check. Lots of publicity. Check. And then, just as Paris Hilton’s reality TV star was waning, in waltzes Kim and her “tape.” And Robert? He was a happy, sometimes mischievous young boy, who seemed to get more and more “confused” about his life as he got older.
3. Total Teenage Divas Out Of Control
When she graduated from middle school in 1994, a 14-year old Kim was captured in a movie saying that when she was famous, she wanted the world to remember the beautiful little girl that she was. OK. That’s bad enough. After the trial? In 1996, Kim and big sister Kourtney planned to fly to Atlanta for the Olympic games. Sitting on the plane, waiting for take off, they clearly got bored and decided to have a bit of fun. As reported by Ian Halperin in his bombshell book Kardashian Dynasty, the two pointed at another passenger and shouted out “That guy has a bomb”. They probably thought it was hilarious. The authorities did not agree and the two were thrown off the plane and banned from flying for twenty-four hours. They could have been charged. But step-dad Bruce Jenner stepped in and used what little celebrity status he had to get the girls out of hot water. So what did they learn from that? Celebrities can get away with anything.
2. She’s So Black
Khloe and Sydney Simpson. Occasionally, the tabloids try to make a case for Todd Waterman being Khloe’s dad. But let’s face it, probably not true. When Khloe was born in 1984, Waterman was around eighteen-years-old. But don’t forget that Robert Kardashian, O.J. Simpson and Kris had all run in the same Los Angeles circle since the 1970s. In fact back in the 1970s before Bruce, even before Robert, Kris had dated pro golfer Cesar Sanudo. She reportedly lived at his condo, but had cheated on him with none other than Robert Kardashian. And there’s more. Sanudo’s brother says that Sanudo was convinced she was cheating on him with none other than O.J. Simpson and called him one night from a golf tournament, saying Kris was at the condo, but not answering the phone. The golfer begged his brother to go over there and confront her and her lover. Alas, he didn’t. And Jan Ashley, Kardashian’s short-lived second wife, claims that the then-dying lawyer commented on how “black” Khloe was. By the way, Khloe was Todd Waterman’s favorite Kardashian, after Kris. He called her special and smart.
1. From Beyond The Grave: Daddy Speaks
Okay. We know it was all a lie, from the beginning. Robert Kardashian didn’t have all the money he pretended to have. Neither did Bruce Jenner. And without O.J. and that “tape”, the Kardashians could have ended up as also-rans. Imagine Kris and Kim without their millions. Let’s visit daddy Robert and those diaries once more. He died of cancer in 2003, bringing his children and his widow into direct confrontation. But, those diaries predict the future. He said Kourtney would grow to resent her mom. Check. Kim would become like her mother and be drawn to successful men who provide glamour. Check. Khloe? Well, daddy said she would turn headstrong and do whatever she wanted to do. Double check. And Rob? “Very confused”. Oh dear.
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