Let’s talk about showering! There are so many interesting things that can happen in this wondrous place. Things can be romantic, they can be relaxing, they can be hot and they can be cold. Showers have so many varying options. Size, like many things in life, vary greatly from shower to shower. There are small showers just big enough for a single person to get their business done and then there are massive showers that make small bedrooms jealous. Some showers also come with tubs. Showers can go so many different directions and whether you are wealthy or poor depends how crazy they can get. Some showers can become actual works of art if you have enough money to dump into it.
Now, the first thing that comes to mind in a shower is a person actually cleaning themselves. That is the obvious. But beyond getting clean, a shower is an excellent place to get down and dirty. There have been many epic movie moments that have showcased the benefits of having a shower big enough for at least two people. Of course, when those two people are smoking hot (depending on your taste and preference), then you got something going. Aside from sexy time in the shower and cleaning up, there are some strange habits people have picked up. And then there are just strange things people do in general in showers. These are 15 Funny Things People Do in the Shower.
15. Mixing the Secret Sauce
Okay, some folks may get grossed out here. But when you really think about it, it’s still gross but also makes some sense in a twisted way. When we talk about “secret sauces” many people assume the worst. But from sauces to jellies to wines, there are a lot of people who enjoy making things from scratch. They will sell their creations at local vendors and flea markets. They can be local celebrities for their special food creations. But a lot of people don’t realize that they mixed their food when they were first getting started in batch order in the bathroom; in particular, their tub. Yeah, a shower/tub combo is good for creating a giant mixing bowl of opportunity for aspiring food entrepreneurs. Sure, this is disgusting on many levels no matter how you shake it out, but more than a few people use their tub to mix large amounts of sauces or jellies in order to do a “one and done” mixture so their food is perfectly blended and consistent. When they get more money they buy larger mixing bowls. But a shower/tub provides a giant bowl of opportunity and easy cleaning access afterward. Yuck.
14. Defrosting Food
Maybe the kitchen sink isn’t big enough to thaw out that giant turkey you have for Thanksgiving. Perhaps you have many things you need to thaw out for dinner but have only a small kitchen sink. There are many people who have actually used their shower or tub as a large defrosting zone for food. It does make sense, as the food thaws the water run-off will simply go down the drain. So as far as messes go, there will be a limited mess to clean up, if at all. More than anything, you want to clean the washing space before it is used again, but we can see this happening for those with limited space. I’m not certain it’s the most sanitary method, but like with anything, how you maintain your environment will be important. Turkey juice doesn’t mix well when taking a nice vanilla bean bath with accompanying candles.
13. The More The Merrier
Okay, we pointed out sex as a shower option earlier. It’s an obvious go-to for many. But the thoughts of a threesome in a shower is a whole other level of fun. Why the shower? Well, for one, it is a place in which people can remain “clean.” When you think about the act of three people engaging in fun together, the bonus of keeping clean is a nice one. But aside from sexual activity, people enjoy engaging in relaxing threesome showers in which massages (and oral pleasures) can be on the menu. The enjoyment and relaxation of three people forming the “shower train” is a pleasure-filled relaxing engagement of fun activities. It is important to note that the massage shower train is an awesome way of having fun as long as everyone gives and receives.
12. Pet and Owner Quality Time
A lot of people think of their pets as part of the family. So it’s no wonder that some pet owners have no problem sharing their shower space with their loveable little family members. Many of these owners will lather up and wash their dogs at the same time. And it makes sense, the shower or a bathtub are perfect places to lock your pets down and wash them. And why not wash yourself in the process. But that’s not all. Let’s talk about grooming. We all know people need to groom themselves. The unruly hair monster always makes it necessary for both men and women to groom themselves. But then you have pets. There are some people who will trim their hedges and then use the clippers on their animals all while in the shower together. Whether together or alone, many people use their showers/tubs as opportunities to groom their pets; and some enjoy the bonding experience of doing it together.
11. Blowing Your Nose
Sometimes you just can’t resist. You feel that tickle in your nose and something inside you says, “I gotta blow my nose bad.” The only problem is, you are in your shower and nowhere near the closest tissue box. Now, most people don’t know what their significant other does in the shower (unless you are creepy and have video cam access). But there is a surprising number of people who let it fly in the shower. They blow their noses with reckless abandon. They need no tissue, instead, blowing out right into the water or the palms of their hands. Now, if there were cameras, the images would surely be disgusting. We are talking mucus and snot bubbles dripping off someone’s face in some cases. But the shower water makes it all a blur and blowing your nose in the shower is very common.
This one is an obvious one. Of course many people enjoy singing in the shower. They are alone with the water running and can’t resist jumping on the same acoustics that help many a singer with a crappy voice excel in the music business. Bathrooms were built for C and D-level singers who want to belt out their tunes. From kids to old adults, everyone likes to sing a few notes in the shower. Surveys have found a vast majority of people “let it go” in the shower, their voices reaching epic levels of extremes. Aside from hitting the high notes, a good number of folks enjoy rapping in the shower. The whole experience is quite comical for those of us not in the bathroom who listen to the wailing of our friend, family member or significant other as they do their best (and worst) Beyoncé impression.
9. Washing Your Clothes
Well, if it’s good enough for your body to get wet, why not get your clothes cleaned at the same time. There are many people who don’t have access to a washing machine or had one that broke. Heading out to a laundromat is a real pain in the rear, so moving to Plan B, and your shower can be an option. It may sound strange to wash your undergarments in the shower, but some people do. Unfortunately for roommates, having to step into the shower and see you besties boxers or tighty-whities hanging in the shower is definitely no bueno. We aren’t big fans of doing laundry in the shower. It is like separating Church and State. There is a laundry and then there is a shower. Don’t cross the streams folks!
8. Beer Party
Is there any better place to store 200 beers than a shower/tub combo? No!!! It is in fact the largest cooler space available at any residence at any given time. All you have to do is get a ridiculous amount of ice and go hog wild. Toss in 48 pack after 48 pack and you have the most awesome party cooler with easy access. I have personally been a part of such a fun event while staying at a motel when I played collegiate baseball. A couple of my strategic teammates used the ice machine in the hall (brilliant savings of $$$ for us!) and filled the tub. We went down the street and snuck in massive amounts of alcohol from the liquor store nearby. And that was that! Instant party. While our coaches hit the strip clubs, we got wasted and had local cheerleaders join the party (and then a stripper…but that’s a whole other story). No matter what, if you have a large shower or a tub/shower combo, load her up and party on!
7. Pee Party
Now this is a whole other kind of party! Now let’s talk about that dirty little thing that many, many people do in the shower but hate to admit. That’s right you dirty animals. Let’s talk about peeing in the shower. Sure, there’s water there so it will just run off. Ever see the bottom of a toilet or a urinal? Kind of disgusting, right? Well, stop peeing in the damn shower because you risk staining the bottom of the porcelain or the drain area. And when your hair fills that drain up, think about having to clean out that urine soaked hair out of the drain. Yuck! And then there are Golden Showers. I am not going to judge others for what they do, but peeing on other people is definitely not my thing. And I certainly don’t want others peeing on me. But the number one place for “wet work” is in the shower. So, that’s an interesting thought the next time you hit up a grimy motel.
6. Human Fountain
Unlike a Golden Shower where a person is literally becoming a human fountain of urine that cascades upon another individual, we are talking more about the more childlike behavior of actually spitting water into the air. There are those who have a great time by consuming water and filling up your cheeks to only unleash it against the wall. Some people get creative and become a sprinkler head. Some people enjoy spitting the water up into the air like they are a fine Italian lawn statue. I don’t necessarily think this is fun, but kids enjoy the heck out of it. If some adults enjoy the practice and it allows them to blow off some steam, then good for them. It’s not my cup of tea, but blow away.
5. Meditate a Bit
It is a proven fact that a good shower or a good bath can be a tremendously fruitful experience. The mental cleansing that goes along with the physical one can go far in relaxing a person’s mind and soul. Many people do some of their best thinking in the shower. The ability to be alone with one’s thoughts is a vital one. Then you have those who enjoy mediation in the shower. You can describe someone who relaxes alone with their thoughts as a form of mediation. But there are those who actually go full-meditation in the shower. There are even those, who have larger showers, who do a bit of yoga in there. No matter what your cup of tea, the shower is a tremendously relaxing place in which people talk to themselves, stretch, commence in deep thought and even close their eyes and meditate.
4. Take a Nap
This may fall loosely under the mediation category, but there are a group of people who enjoy taking a nice nap in their shower tub. It can seem strange to some people (and by some people, I mean nearly everyone), but there are a select group of people that get so relaxed, they fall asleep in their cleaning sanctuaries. They enjoy a good nap every now and again as water rains down upon their head or surrounds their body. Obviously, in dealing with water, it can be a frightening thought to fall asleep in water and potentially drown. So from that aspect, a nap in the shower/tub, isn’t such a good thing. But hey, if you need a cat nap and enjoy a bit of water falling upon your head, enjoy.
There is an old adage, “never eat in the shower.” Some people may be pressed for time, so their significant other gets them a quick cup of coffee and piece of toast to gobble down as they shower for work. Some people just enjoy the pleasures of relaxing and eating in the shower (we aren’t sure why, but it does happen). Seinfeld’s Kramer had the idea of making and eating salads in the shower. Sure, it’s a two-for-one scenario. You get to clean your produce and eat it all at the same time while cleaning your body. We’re not big fans of that idea either, but we get the “eating on the run” scenarios. We are in a fast-paced world in which televisions even appear in the bathroom (that could have been a category, but we think people with bathroom TV’s have issues and are generally spoiled). Eating in the shower is an odd habit and one that some people engage in to multi-task and save time. Everyone has a fetish, and a select few actually eat in the shower on purpose. They like the relaxing nature of eating and allowing the water to strike their back. And for those fans of a good tub soak, how about a glass of wine, some candles, some nice easy music and a few chocolates. There are a few scenarios in which we can see eating in the shower or tub that could make sense, but we aren’t big fans.
2. “Alone” Time
“Alone Time” can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. You may hear a sexual wail or two from the bathroom as the shower is running. You could hear a conversation ensuing with the one person inside the shower that makes no sense. There are so many comical sounds that come from a person engaging in bathing themselves that vary. It honestly would be interesting to just record them all. But what they all have in common is the sanctuary and the illusion of being alone. There is something about being in a shower with the water running that makes people feel comfortable to float into other spaces of time and reality. It’s where people can be and do almost anything their imagination allows.
1. Getting Rid of the Evidence
Are you a professional contract killer? Maybe not. Odds are most people do not fall into this category (at least we hope not). But we are quite certain that you have seen a movie (or television show) or two that have included a hitman using his tub or shower-tub to dispose of “evidence.” And this isn’t just a cinematic endeavor. A place that killers in the past have enjoyed dismantling and getting rid of their evidence has been in a tub or shower. The benefits of being able to melt down a human carcass with acid in one singular location that is easy to clean up is an appetizing thought for killers. Also, those who bring a good cutting knife or machete to their parties can break down their victims in easier to carry pieces by using the tub or shower as their “workplace.” The ability to bleach down and clean the controlled environment is also a plus for psychopathic killers. So there is a big draw for them using a shower or tub to finish up their work. It’s not the most pleasant of thoughts, but we didn’t come up with it. We’re just chronicling its existence. So the next time you get into a shower or take a soak, think about this article and how many things you can check off the list that you do during your shower/bathing time. And if you “shoot the moon” and qualify for all 15, you got major issues.