So there are hot women and then there are incandescent stunners. With the human version of hotness, there’ll always be a few flaws that add to our attractiveness in this very mortal plane – but here we are going to talk about the immortal hot babes that have been birthed from the imaginations of writers, animators, and illustrators alike.
Who are we talking about exactly? The animated toon babes that scream hotness! From curves that threaten to spill out of clothes to moves that could put Jagger to shame, these women are hot as hell and are the ones that us mere mortal females have idolized since we first saw them.
And we know dudes like them too and wish that they were real. They are not the perfect women – nu-uh! They are strong and sexy and look good in everything, or nothing at all. They are loyal to a fault, even if it is just to themselves, or for a cause. They get their men, by hook or by crook – in their bed, in their lives, or behind bars!
Some of them are good, and when they are good, they are very, very good. But when they are bad, they are horrid. But then bad girls do have all the fun, don’t they? And in their make-believe world that we could only dream of being in, the good girls get to have fun too.
Here are 15 of the hottest toon women that dudes wished were real ever since they, well, got it up, and women wished to be since they were in pigtails.
15. She-Ra: Princess of Power, and Endless Legs
Dedicated to all of us raised when the manly shout of “By the power of Grayskull” sent shivers down our toes, She-Ra was the alter-ego of Princess Adora, the lost twin sister of Prince Adam aka He-Man. And when Princess Adora transformed into She-Ra, a woman with velvety locks, a jazz singer’s husky voice, and legs that simply did not end, boys turned into men.
She transformed with the feminine cry of “For the honor of Grayskull” and unlike He-Man’s Sword of Power, she had the Sword of Protection. While He-Man was about manly power and bulging muscles, she was the perfect foil, with her cunning wiles and acrobatic abilities. This Princess of yore belongs on this list of the hottest toon women for her loveliness and her caring and warm nature, and of course, those legs!
14. Lana Kane: The Spy With The Smooth…
Before ISIS became a dark cloud on humanity’s horizon, there was the International Secret Intelligence Service (ISIS), a fictional spy agency in the animated TV series Archer, targeting adults. And Archer’s female equivalent, well actually she’s sort of superior to him in many if not all ways, is Lana Kane, voiced by the equally sexy Aisha Tyler. Shown to be six feet tall with rather large hands, Lana is number two in ISIS simply because ISIS is run by Archer’s mother.
She’s also great at sarcastic repartee with sexual undertones, is constantly put into situations where she’s facing danger in her underwear, and otherwise smokes the screen in her cowl neck sweater dress, thigh-high stiletto boots, and a shoulder holster which carries her twin TEC-9 guns.
13. Teegra: Blows Hot, Not Cold
Teegra is the very sexy, barely clad heroine of the 1983 animated cult movie Fire & Ice. Directed by Ralph Bakshi (who was also behind the 1992 Cool World), the film used rotoscoping – meaning live actors were shot for the movie and then the shots were transferred to animation cells.
So enough about the technical side of the movie! The hotness that oozed out of every second of the film comes from Teegra, played by Cynthia Leake. She’s seen in a barely-there bikini at the beginning of the movie as she suggestively writhes on her bed before she’s forcibly captured by an evil queen’s sub-human army. Showing true grit, Teegra manages to escape the monsters, losing her bikini top in the process – after which she’s seen topless, bouncy unmentionables and all. Completely confident in her nudity, she finally finds solace in the arms of hero Larn as they defeat their enemies and kiss into the credits.
12. Kim Possible and Shego: Double The Hotness
Kim Possible (which is of course, a play on impossible, we get that) is a high school hero who’s favorite phrases are “What’s the sitch?” and “No big” and she likes to say them a lot. That said, she’s quite the super performer – great student, an awesome friend, and of course, way cool while doing the impossible, uh, k-impossible stunts and defeating super villains. Yep, she was young, cute, and hot – at least for budding teens.
And then there’s Shego; equally hot, and very, very bad. And all bad girls are sizzling hot! She’s Kim Possible’s arch nemesis, and perhaps the only dangerous contender amidst the mad scientists and the weird father-son villain duos. We dig her superpowers and that green catsuit doesn’t hurt either, nor do her questionable moral compass and those superpowers by which she can throw green flames of energy from her hands.
11. Turanga Leela: The Cyclopean Hottie
To those who watch Futurama, the truth of Leela has been revealed – to the ones who don’t, well, watch it, why don’t you? The series focuses on pizza delivery boy Philip J. Fry who was accidentally cryogenically frozen (yes, that’s actually a plot line) and then reemerges into a dystopian world of aliens and human sewer mutants (which is why we need to stop polluting the earth, now!). Amidst all of this madness is total babe Leela who looks like an above average hottie, accept that she has one eye.
She’s brave, she’s hot, she’s intelligent, she’s hot, she’s adventurous, she’s hot… You get the picture, she is hot. Brave and selfless, this is one badass chick that’s not afraid of anyone and loves animals and weapons with equal passion. And she’s fun enough for the viewer to forget her rather comical one eye.
10. Veronica Lodge: The Color Green
Yep, whoever has read the Archie comics hates and envies Veronica Lodge with equal ferocity. She plays superbitch to Betty’s underdog and manages to steal Archie away from Betty’s hopeful grasp and into her conniving clutches.
But you really can’t hate the girl because she is a total babe to begin with and somewhere, deep within the green chambers of her green-tinged heart, lies a solid thread of loyalty and somewhat ambiguous niceness. At the heart of it all is Veronica and Betty’s bone of contention, Archie, who’s one solid, if a bit goofy, dude. For all of Betty’s niceness, it’s Veronica’s feminine wiles that often win his affections. Frankly, with a girl like Veronica doing her best to win your attention and affection, which dude wouldn’t be drunk on love? And everyone likes a good girl who can be bad every now and then. Especially since most of her evil plans backfire on her!
9. Betty Cooper: The “Goody Goody” Girl
One cannot mention Veronica in the hot toon list and leave out Betty. In our list, she’s hotter than Veronica Lodge for more than one reason.
Firstly, she’s as endowed and pretty as Veronica is, and has the advantage of being the wholesome package of an all-American blonde. Secondly, unlike Veronica who was born with a silver spoon (ok, more like gold and platinum), Betty has to work her way up and isn’t afraid of hard work either.
Thirdly, Betty has brains. She may have blonde hair, but is more of a brainiac than a bimbo, though Veronica tries to sabotage her all the way through, often ending up having to eat humble pie in the end. Finally, Betty often downplays her looks – dressing up like a normal girl next door, a fresh change from the shopaholic Ronnie who just has to dress in the latest fashion. But when Betty does sexy, she manages to floor just about every Tom, Dick, and Archie!
8. Rapunzel: A Tangled-Up Delight
So, yards and yards of silky blonde hair, a beautiful petite frame, rosebud lips, and big, green, soulful peepers, coming in eighth on the sexy toon list is none other than Rapunzel, who manages to be a pint-sized package of hotness, despite that really weird name!
For a girl who has been locked up in a tower for most of her 18 years, she has spunk. And despite all that her kidnapper-posing-as-her-mother does to break her confidence, Rapunzel suffers from no Stockholm syndrome at all. This is not a victim in love with the kidnapper, this a girl wanting to have a life at any cost. And so she literally kidnaps thieving hero Flynn and then steals away what he stole in the first place so that he can take her to see the floating lanterns. Diabolical or what? Of course, she looks even hotter at the end, now that those magic locks have been chopped off and she has a pixie-mop of chocolate hair.
7. Catwoman: Gotham’s True Anti-Heroine
The bloody problem with DC Comics, if you’ll pardon my language, is the multitude of twists, turns, and alternative universes that have been weaved so carefully into the Batman/Catwoman franchise, that we simply cannot make heads or tails out of it any longer.
Catwoman is Selina Kyle, and she begins out as an orphan raised in an orphanage and then on the streets where she whores herself out to survive. Somehow from there, she enters the world of crime – some storylines say to escape her abusive husband, some say abusive pimp. That said, this is one lady who was once a victim, and now no more. Poured into a latex suit that has more curves than a mountain road, a mask that highlights those cat green eyes, and killer red lips, this is one super-villain/anti-heroine that Batman is unable to get the best off, though he does get his rocks off her.
6. Wonder Woman: The Hot Bod With A Starry Costume
So what do you do when you are gorgeous, powerful, a better fighter than Superman, a demi-god, and very good at heart? You become Wonder Woman, and that’s what the DC Comic-birthed Princess Diana of Themyscira did.
Wonder Woman is first shown to be the daughter of two mothers, Hippolyta, who made her from clay, and Athena, who breathed life into her. Later she is shown to be to be the daughter of Zeus and Hippolyta. Either which way, with a body made for sin and Aphrodite’s principle at play (she loses her powers if she lays with a man), Wonder Woman had that unreachable appeal.
She is out of any dude’s league (she’s a cartoon character, remember?) and this sword of Damocles issue of “losing her power” if she does the dirty is yet another notch in her sexiness factor. The bulging muscles, gorgeous face, flowing locks, and a skin tight body suit don’t hurt either!
5. Betty Boop: Boop-Oop-A-Doop
At a time when female cartoons were merely slightly more eyelashed versions of the male version, like Minnie to Mickey Mouse, and sex was still a taboo, Betty Boop caused a furor with overt sexuality, those swinging hips, and storylines that often showed her virginity to be in danger.
While the likes of Minnie Mouse were showing their bloomers in a very childish way, Betty was into tiny dresses that showed off her legs, a garter, heels, and showing cleavage with her low-cut dresses. At the time, she was the only true female character in toons and she led the brigade with great style. In an episode titled “Bamboo Isle,” Betty does the hula wearing nothing more than a grass skirt and a strategically placed lei.
Considered one of the most iconic cartoons of her time, Betty is drawn as a caricature of a Jazz Age flapper – women who smoked and drank, wore their hair short and their dresses shorter, and flouted social and sexual norms. Yay for female power!
4. Stripperella: The Name is Jones, Erotica Jones
So to give you the lowdown on Stripperella, who is an erotic dancer/stripper and moonlights as a crime fighter, remember that she is voiced by the very busty, very blonde, unafraid to strip in real life Pamela Anderson. And her long list of “talents” include mainstream ones like enhanced reflexes and senses, a blonde-defying intelligence, awesome strength with killer martial art moves, as well as a multitude of Bond-esque tech devices. She can also use those blonde locks as a parachute, has a boobs that double up, pun intended, as lie detectors, and a scanner under her tongue. And is armed with dialogues like, “Look out crime. I’m gonna to take a bite out of you. But not in a way you’re gonna find pleasurable.”
If you are still skeptical, remember that the show does have topless nudity, after all, Erotica Jones is a stripper and there have been episodes where Stripperella managed to inflate her boobs to double up, yet again, pun intended, as flotation devices. So either you cop a feel, or you drown.
3. Modesty Blaise: Loves Sleeping In The Nude
Haven’t met Modesty yet? Well, in 1945, a 12-year-old girl escaped a Greek refugee camp with no name and amnesia. She lived on the streets till she was sort of adopted and tutored by a an ex-professor, Lob. He gave her the name Modesty and she chose Blaise in honor of Merlin’s magic teacher. Cut to adulthood and for some reason she was heading an international crime organization, The Network. Retired from a life of crime, she and her partner Willie Garvin now help the British Secret Service in fighting crime.
Now she is like a female James Bond, witty, sexy, clever and never lacking in adventures between the sheets. And she loves to sleep in the nude, which her illustrators love to, well, illustrate. And like Bond, Modesty does have a license to kill, though she only does as a last resort. Mostly she uses her wits to outsmart the lot and when all else fails, she has a yawara stick to help her out!
2. Holli Would: The One Who Killed Brad Pitt
In 1992, Ralph Bakshi made what would be his last feature film to date, Cool World. The original script was intended to make this movie into an adult-horror animation flick in which a human and a toon would have sex and conceive a hybrid child. The script was changed and Cool World turned into a movie projected for a younger audience and basically fell flat on its face.
The highlight of the movie was the Kim Basinger-voiced Holli Would, a femme fatale who badly wanted to be real. So she schemed and plotted her way into a cartoonist’s head, making him believe that her world was his creation though it existed as a parallel universe way before. So she seduced him, even though noids (humans) were not supposed to do the dirty with doodles (cartoons) or else both the worlds would die. And she also pushed a rather boyish Brad Pitt to his death in the movie, though he later is brought back to life as a doodle! Watch the movie for this very sexy, very naughty girl, shw could give lessons in hotness to most of today’s starlets!
1. Jessica Rabbit: She’s Not Bad, She’s Just Drawn That Way!
Hubba, hubba, hubba… That’s one thing most dudes would say if she was to suddenly pop out in front of them in her slinky, sparkly red dress that does nothing to hold in her magnificent figure. Drawn in an hourglass format, Jessica Rabbit is the very, very hot wife of goofy Roger Rabbit in the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Asked as to why she loved her husband, she says it’s because “he makes me laugh.”
The movie is funny and Jessica Rabbit sizzles in every shot that she’s in. As she says, “You don’t know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do,” and “I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way…”
To complete the cliché, Jessica sings and performs at a night club and all the guests – human or toons – go va-va-voom! She’s our number one toon gal – the very respectably married, Mrs. Jessica Rabbit!
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