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15 Redditors Confess Their Most Messed Up Fantasies

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15 Redditors Confess Their Most Messed Up Fantasies

Everyone has fantasies, whether they’re about winning the lottery, achieving world peace single-handedly, or cooking a meal for the in-laws. Fantasies are a sign of being human and having a brain that works, according to the ancient Greeks who coined the word phantazein, meaning “imagination, appearance.” It was from the Hellenic beginnings that the word traveled through time, fast becoming a label for anything that was seen in our mind’s eye.

Since then, people have either kept their fantasies to themselves or acted them out. Without a doubt, the Romans – who had a reputation for being the most debauched civilization in history – found it all too easy to act out phantasia especially with a glut of willing slaves standing by.

These days, we’re still doing it… we’re still imagining ourselves in all sorts of situations: married to Elizabeth Hurley, slapping Adam Sandler across the face and then dancing on his nose, or lying on a beach with a Polynesian goddess rubbing oil between our toes. The question is: what spurs us on to cross the boundary between imagination and reality… and is doing so healthy?

We’re not going to spend time answering such philosophical dilemmas today. But we are going to look at some mighty meaty fantasies that have either ruined relationships or spiced things up. While we’re at it, we’re going to have a look at fetishes, too.

Standby for 15 of our strangest fantasies and fetishes as posted by contributors to Reddit.

15. Teacher Wants To Help With Distractions

Here’s a popular one among teenagers and adults alike. Who hasn’t, at some point in their lives, fantasized about having an affair with a teacher? Redditor mickeymau5music walks into a classroom after the class is finished. The teacher is standing there (she’s called Ms. R) and the dialogue goes like this:

“You wanted to see me, Ms. R?” I say as I step inside the classroom.

“Yes, mickeymau5music, please shut the door behind you and have a seat. It’s come to my attention that you’ve seemed a bit… distracted in my class.”

“I know, I’m struggling with ADD, and I’m trying very hard to stay focused…”

“That’s not what I meant,” she says with a devilish smile.

“Then what are you talking about, Ms. R?” I ask nervously, trying not to stare at her finger fidgeting with her top button.

“I think you know what I’m talking about. Maybe you’re daydreaming about looking at THESE,” she says as she rips her shirt open. Cha-ching!

14. Talk Dirty To Me

One of the more well-used fetishes in the B-zone is dirty talk. Men (and women) pay a fortune to talk on chat lines and face-to-face. It’s been known to be a way to initiate foreplay. This is a harmless bit of fun, but it has to be done right.

Female Redditor prettydamnquick submitted a concise guideline on how best to talk to women in a dirty way. She advises not to just come out with swear words straight away, but lead in gently with something like “I’ve been thinking of your naked body all day.” As the fun begins, outlining each other’s fantasies is another thing she likes to hear. “Stay away from phrases and instead think about what it is that turns you on about her, any fantasies you want to act out, any positions you want to try, anything sexual at all and just tell her about it!”

13. There’s Dirty Talk, And Then There’s Just Being Mean

Quite often, we might meet someone who, on the face of it, is a great person and someone we want to spend time with. Only after a couple of weeks together do we realize that we’ve made a terrible mistake by promising to spend more time with them.

Redditor MrChipKellyBruh remembers a time when he met a “super hot” country girl. The pair met at a party and took things further from then on. Pretty soon, he realized not only that were they completely different in the way they saw the world but also that “hanging out alone, she was a complete bitch” and that his own friends, knowing this, already were beginning to desert him. This had the opposite effect on MrChipKellyBruh because the more she talked down to people, the more he was turned on by her. Needless to say, the relationship couldn’t withstand the torment from others, and the two parted company.

12. Slave And TV Time

There’s a lot to be said about a slave fetish. Finding a sub to be at your complete disposal harks back to the ancient days of the human race when men used to drag women around by their hair. These days, nothing much has changed, except the dom-sub works both ways. This story by Redditor pens_vs_swords is a prime example of that.

He was seeing a younger woman who had a kinky idea that he could live with her as her slave. Naturally, pens_vs_swords agreed because it sounded at least like a spiced-up version of Doug Funnie and Patty Mayonnaise. It started off well. The woman obviously enjoyed the attention and the power she had over her man. But pretty soon, all pens_vs_swords wanted to do was go home, kick off his shoes, and watch television — which perhaps he sometimes did… while on all fours, with her feet on his back. It’s not the same. Needless to say, they didn’t last.

11. An Ill-Fated Threesome With A H——

Hookers are professionals — just like doctors, teachers, and building contractors. The only difference is they sell sex as a service. To hookers, their bodies are a commodity. They don’t get paid for using their mind because if they did, they’d be called psychiatrist-hookers, and no such career exists, at least not in the Bronx. That’s why this story from Redditor peachesinanappletree is all the more touching for its rarity.

A husband and wife had only enjoyed sex with each other. From the time they met, neither had had other sexual partners; each was their first. The husband — who began fantasizing about a threesome — suggested to his wife that they hire a hooker. The wife agreed, and the hooker arrived, but when the husband was about to ‘enter,’ the wife broke down. The hooker stopped the session, tried to comfort the wife, took the money, and left.

10. One Nighter, Feathers And Rope, Ice Games

“Fetish” is a big word. It encompasses all sorts of life’s sexual temptations. Even kissing someone’s foot could be a fetish, and anyone who’s had the misfortune of seeing two ladies drinking from the same cup knows the extent of human weirdness.

Redditor OGWiseman felt he was best placed to give readers a little list of some fetishes he’s heard of. The first is the one-night stand: a popular spice rack for the couples who feel their love life is floundering like a fish on a beach. Both man-and-man or man-and-woman dress up, meet at a bar, and pretend to be strangers whose encounter leads to anonymous sex. The second is using rope to tie up your betrothed and tickle him or her into submission. The third is taking a lump of ice (ideally small) to the other’s body and running it over them while watching them squirm.

9. Girl-On-Guy-On-Girl, But Guy Can’t Sample The Goods

Some women have lesbian fantasies, and some women are lesbians. Some straight women act out their fantasies (most straight people have either thought about it or dabbled in it), and it’s this latter group that the next story centers on. It tells a tale that warns that fantasies should only be carried out if both partners are in agreement. Otherwise, the whole train could derail.

CoidzorA Lemur Called Simon recalls a relationship he had in which his girlfriend was adamant she wanted to sleep with another woman. He said it was fine, and they agreed that it wouldn’t harm their relationship. However, the caveat to this was that CoidzorA Lemur Called Simon wasn’t allowed to interact in any way with the other woman, his GF being way too jealous of him touching another woman’s dumplings that weren’t hers. In the end, the fantasy never was enacted, and the one-sided relationship failed. But at least they talked it through.

8. Who’s Laughing Now?

Here’s another fetish that some people use to spice up the bedroom politic. Tickling is an interesting case. Some people love it; some hate it. It’s the loss of control that others find arousing. This next story comes from Redditor Kernelbeetus who forewarns about the uninvited tickling of a loved one.

He was enjoying an active relationship with a woman and felt comfortable enough to admit he had a tickling fetish – that is, of tickling someone else into submission. However, his lady friend wasn’t so keen. She claimed that being tickled was a huge turn off and that on no account should he enact a tickle, especially in the bedroom. Not heeding the warnings, Kernelbeetus went ahead and did it anyway right in the middle of a cuddle party, leaving his girlfriend distraught and turned off. She finally left him. That’s right — over being tickled.

7. A Baby, But No S-x… Who’s Gonna Tell Him How It Works?

Ah, love… the ultimate goal and yet so, so elusive. More of us than ever spend our lives searching for the holy grail of human emotion only to die unhappy, lonely, and loveless (only joking… eventually it comes, and usually when you’re least expecting it). This next story is a true loving fantasy sent in by Redditor FlashF0x and sounds like more of a cross between a love story and an outer-body experience.

His dream begins in an ocean surrounded by bubbles. He sees a beautiful lady, and they rise to the surface in an embrace, closer and closer to the light above them. Finally, they lie on a beach, and he kisses her. Resting his hand on her stomach, he feels her stomach grow with child before awakening in a place where his children have grown up and left home. He looks at the woman again and realizes she and he have grown old and frail. He closes his eyes, and a white light surrounds them…

6. BDSM

Bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism are fetishes already touched upon here. BDSM can include role playing or a whole variety of erotic practices, adding an edgy dynamic to a consenting sexual relationship. “Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves as practicing BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture is usually dependent upon self-identification and shared experience” (Wikipedia, 2017).

It’s worth mentioning that many find this practice liberating and heightens the respect between two people. After all, although it relates to domination, it’s also consenting. However, Redditor peachesinanappletree is adamant that a live-in BDSM relationship won’t work, but he does also add that “BDSM can be a very exciting, healthy, therapeutic outlet for people of all backgrounds and experiences. In my experience, you will find no group of people more aware, cognizant, and respectful of the idea and practice of consent.”

5. The Risk Of Getting Caught… In A Cupboard

Sex in a public place holds a thrill for some people. Whether it’s the feel of the open air or the risk of getting caught, it’s something that many couples indulge in on a nightly basis the world over. And to make it more appealing, unless you’re doing it in a very public place or where children are at risk of seeing you, there’s nothing much stopping you from heading behind a bush and going for it.

This next story comes from Redditor hades_the_wisegoing who recalls a time when he enjoyed sex in various places other than the boudoir. He remembers a time when he and his ex-GF were at a party. They were walking along a corridor back to where a crowd of people stood when he spotted a dark cupboard with the door ajar. They entered, and he (ahem) ‘entered’ even with people walking back and forward outside.

4. The Hero We Need But Don’t Deserve

Sometimes, a fantasy focuses on protecting someone from physical harm. In doing so, the fantasizer becomes the hero of the story and gets to have sex with whomever he wants. Again this harks back to a primal domination of the tribe. Or at least that’s what Redditor nitrous2401 would like to think…

He and his girlfriend are walking back home after a date when they’re confronted by a group of muggers. The outlook isn’t good. Nitrous2401♂ carries on the story: “I step in front of her, and tell her it’s okay and tell them to back off (ohhh, nitrous… you’re so brave /swoons), fight, maybe earn a trophy wound for her to fuss over, romantic music & lights, cue scene.” And at the end of all of this, of course, his self-esteem is sky high, allowing him to take his woman in his arms, etc.

3. Kidnap, Gang R–e, Beating, Filming… Y’know, The Usual

Some women’s fantasies revolve around being raped or beaten. And yet these are only fantasies (there are a select group of men out there called “Red Pills” who believe all women – especially feminists – want to be raped). Redditor bubonic recalls such an occasion when, after talking to his girlfriend about her fantasies, she became his ex-girlfriend.

The girl explained to bubonic that her number one fantasy was “to have her abducted, raped, and smacked around by multiple men, and video record the whole thing.” She had the whole scenario planned down to the last bite. He would find a group of men who would abduct her at night, take her to a cabin, tie her to a bed and then jump her bones for the next two days. In the end, it didn’t happen, and bubonic made a hasty getaway.

2. What Are You, A Girl? Hit Me Like A Man!

In a similar vein to a gang rape, some women dream of being roughed up. And this is one of those vanilla fantasies that are often tried out (with consent, of course) in the bedroom. The truth is, a little pain is a common spice-up to making whoopee because it adds another dimension of feeling to the already turned-on partner.

However, Redditor zero_space recounts a time when his girlfriend asked him to tie her up. As the fun began, she asked him to put his hands around her throat and throttle her. This he did but with some nervousness. She then asked him to hit her. He slapped her across the face, but she wanted it done harder. According to reports, she said, “No, what are you, a girl? Hit me like you’re a man. With your fist”. He obliged, losing all sexual motivation, and she ended up with a bloodied face and a black eye.

1. An Anonymous Benefactor – Give Me A Break!

Some people actually fantasize about helping others. Who hasn’t thought if they won the lottery that they would give money to charity or, at the very least, help out a relative with a cool $100,000? It’s natural for us to think of the what-ifs in life. After all, that’s called ambition and imagination, and without those attributes, what’s left?

A deleted Redditor said he wanted to be able to wake up in the morning and not worry about anything, to feel as though he could stay in bed all day if he wanted to. He also fantasized about being stinking rich; being able to pay bills, repair cars, buy people’s meals – all without anyone knowing he had done it. Finally, he wanted to be able to live on the edge of life, working as a full-time firefighter and “live at the station or nearby and just rock that one job for the rest of my life.”

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