Unless you’re a total puritan who has never touched a drop of the sauce in your life, chances are you’ve had at least one embarrassing fall on a night out. Some people are obviously more gravity-challenged than others.
It’s always pretty funny when people fall face-first into the pavement; if it wasn’t, we wouldn’t have a lifetime’s worth of video complications of people falling on YouTube. Not just hours of the stuff, days upon days of video just of people falling. Have you guys seen the one that is just people slipping over the same patch of ice? Good stuff. Then again, we have entire channels dedicated to doctors popping pimples, so maybe people falling isn’t that interesting after all, rather the Internet has way too much time to waste.
Speaking of waste, or rather wasted, sometimes things get out of hand. Celebrities are not immune to the laws of gravity and blood alcohol concentrations that would rival those of Drunk Uncle. But unlike you stumbling out of the bar at 2 in the morning, they have paparazzi following them around. You know what that means? It means the entire world catches them falling (no pun) and as such, we all get to enjoy their falls from grace. Or falls from heels. Or falls off the curb. You get the point.
Please enjoy this carefully curated collection of smashed celebs falling on their faces and/or famous rear ends.
15. Ashley Benson Leaving Chateau Marmont
You have to love how in this picture of Pretty Little Liars star Ashley Benson the woman next to her sort of has her hand extended as if maybe she’d try to help her from falling flat on her face but meh, too much work. See ya on the floor, Ash Benzo.
Embarrassingly enough for her, popular night spot Chateau Marmont generally has a wild pack of paparazzi circling around it like hungry hyenas waiting to capture a celebrity — any celebrity — stepping out. In this case, Ashley Benson was their victim, but she didn’t expect to take a dive in front of them. As she quickly got back on her feet, she gracefully strutted through a sea of flashbulbs looking no worse for wear.
14. Paris Hilton Goes Hollywood
An entire list could be built around the various tumbles Paris Hilton has taken over the years, but we’ve only got so much time and space to dedicate to the heiress. Can you believe she’s 36 years old now? It seems like just yesterday she was a fresh-faced 20-something with a Von Dutch hat and a bedazzled Sidekick.
Anyway, in 2006 — back in the previously-mentioned Sidekick days — Paris took a tumble outside of a Hollywood night club while her sister Nicky looked on with glee. Or is that disgust? Whatever, Nicky is looking at her sister like “haha you may be more famous than me but at least I’m not the one falling all over the place like a big sloppy mess.”
Please don’t go changing, Paris. Just because you’re pushing 40 doesn’t mean you need to grow up and stop falling down.
13. Snooki Drunk On The Beach
Anyone who watched Jersey Shore knows that Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi was always the sloppiest of the already-sloppy housemates, excluding that time drunk Ronnie threw a whole pile of frozen turkey patties on the grill.
In 2011, Snooki ate it exiting an L.A. hot spot, though that one could totally be attributed to the heels she was wearing. Heels are hard to walk in, you guys, especially when your legs are as short as a regular-sized person’s arm.
But before that unfortunate event, Snooki was filmed wandering drunkenly around the Boardwalk yelling “where’s the beach?!” She would soon find the beach, and proceed to fall face first into the sand. Oh, and then she got arrested. Ah, the good ole days of Snooki, before she got new teeth, cranked out two kids, and married that guy what’s-his-name.
12. Quentin Tarantino Takes A Tumble
Given how incredibly coordinated fight scenes in Quentin Tarantino movies are — hello, that Japanese snow scene in Kill Bill was straight up art — it’s pretty funny to see Tarantino fall just like the rest of us. While we’re checking him out on the ground, what’s up with those shoes? They look so worn down you’d think he’d been training with Pei Mei, running buckets of water up and down those busted stone stairs wearing those raggedy shoes.
In 2011, Tarantino was hanging out with actress Paz de la Huerta and in a totally slick and not at all mortifying move, crashed to the ground after opening the limo door for her. Smooth, dude, real smooth. The two had just been at an Oscars party earlier that evening, so it seems they may have partied just a little too hard. Hard like the pavement. The pavement Quentin Tarantino totally tasted that night.
11. Katy Perry Falls On Stage
In 2014, a fan threw a lollipop at Katy Perry at a Melbourne concert, and rather than brushing it off she flopped down on the stage as though she’d just been hit with a brick. But that was all a show, and we’re not here to discuss that fall.
Many years before the lollipop incident, Katy was doing a show for MTV Latin and, as part of the performance, she jumped out of a giant cake. Haven’t you always wanted to do that? I know I do. OK so she jumps out of this cake and goes on with the show, except the whole stage is covered in frosting, as you’d imagine might happen if there’s a giant Katy Perry-sized cake on it. And so, she fell. Not just once, but pretty much over and over for the remainder of the show. I guess that jumping out of a cake idea isn’t so hot after all.
10. Paris Hilton Is So Not Hot
Hey look, Paris Hilton is wasted again! Maybe we should do a listicle of all the times she didn’t fall down sloppy drunk, except that would be a really short list. Item 15: Paris Hilton is asleep in bed. Item 2: Paris Hilton is sitting in a chair at 10 in the morning— you get the point.
But back to Paris falling down drunk. In 2010 she was promoting a Brazilian beer called Devassa Loura and by “promoting” we mean throwing them back and wobbling back and forth across the stage, beer in hand. It was actually an epic “performance,” except it’s unclear if she was actually performing or just stumbling around accidentally because she had just a few too many Devassas. With a 4.8% ABV, it would take more than a couple to get hammered.
9. Lindsay Lohan Falls In The Garden
Over the years, Lindsay Lohan has proven over and over that she and gravity don’t exactly have the friendliest of relationships. What’s up with that, anyway? Gravity is so rude, always kicking in and dropping people to the floor for absolutely no reason. To be fair, it’s easier to battle gravity if the room isn’t spinning.
Let me tell you, it was nearly impossible to pick just one LiLo fall, I mean there are just so many to choose from, but this 2010 fall in front of a friend’s house is pretty good. Er, by good we mean bad. You know that rocky landscaping and prickly cactus she basically fell right into had to hurt.
In her defense, paparazzi were on deck snapping away both before and after the fall. It’s entirely possible that the flashbulbs momentarily blinded her and she couldn’t figure out how to walk. Or something.
8. Courtney Love Falls On VMA Red Carpet
You’ll note that this list is populated with a number of stars who seem to have something against staying upright. Courtney Love is certainly at the top of that list, though as she’s gotten older she seems to have finally gotten the hang of that darn cruel mistress gravity.
Remember when Courtney fell off her chair in the middle of an interview with Kurt Loder and Tabatha Soren? It’s OK if you don’t remember, that was way back in 1995, you may not have even been born. We’ll catch you up: Courtney showed up to the MTV Video Music Awards totally wasted off her tail, slurred her way through an interview, and fell down several times. In her defense, that tiny little bar stool she was wobbling back and forth on during her interview was pretty sketchy, even the most sober of us might have totally fallen off of it face first.
7. Kelly Osbourne
Kelly Osbourne has a reputation around Hollywood, a few years back she could be found stumbling from club to club with Kate Moss. When she moved to London after the iconic MTV show The Osbournes wrapped filming, things got even more out of control. She told The New York Times that during that time, she fell into drug addiction.
But, as things often go, she cleaned up her act. Kinda. She ditched the drugs, started working on Fashion Police, she was a judge on Project Runway Junior and unveiled her own fashion line. But sometimes old habits die hard.
She tripped on stage at a taping of America’s Got Talent — which her mom hosts — and in 2014, she took a dive outside of this restaurant in London. Ouch.
6. Mischa Barton Needs A Hand
Once the darling of The OC, Mischa Barton has had a rough go of it lately, but before she was in the headlines for unintelligible rants, she was making news for tripping all over the curb at Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles. What is it with that place, anyway? Is the entire sidewalk out front made of ice and banana peels? It seems like everybody who is anybody has taken a fall there.
Anyway, in 2015 Miss Barton ate it on that notorious sidewalk and took it in the best of spirits, giggling as she was lifted up by two dudes whose job it probably is to follow her around and make sure she stays upright. That’s an actual job position in Hollywood, you know. Seriously, look it up on Indeed. Actually, don’t, I made that up.
5. Kathy Griffin Falls Out
This list being what it is, it’s full of celebrities stumbling out of cars. For some reason stepping out of a car is incredibly difficult, made more complicated when you add a fun night out at the club and the flash of 100 paparazzi cameras. Perhaps that’s exactly what got to Kathy Griffin when she ate it exiting a taxi in 2007.
Now, some have floated a theory that the proud D-list comedian actually fell on purpose, because it’s so funny that celebs with greater profiles than hers are constantly falling all the time. A friend did end up helping her get up off the ground, so perhaps it really was just another celebrity tripping out of a car for the thousandth time and not a joke at all. The world may never know!
4. Madonna Spills Over
On her Rebel Heart tour in 2016, Madonna brought her hijinx down under, baffling fans in Australia when she appeared on stage dressed like a clown, guzzling from a bottle, and riding — rather, attempting to ride — a tricycle. If you think about all your embarrassing drunk moments and add them all up, I bet they don’t equal drunkenly falling off a tricycle while dressed like a clown in front of a stadium full of people.
Madonna — who was 59 years old at the time — adamantly denies she was under the influence. “Too bad people don’t know the art of acting and playing a character. I could never do any of my shows high or drunk,” she posted to Instagram after the tricycle incident. In her defense, riding a tricycle is pretty hard when you’re a grown adult. Doubt any one of us Judgy McJudgersons could do it without falling over and then mumbling “who is going to take care of me?”
3. Tara Reid Down On The Boardwalk
Tara Reid‘s best known movie role is as Vicky in the American Pie series but really her best known role in life is the sloppy but entertaining party gal. If you don’t believe me, Google “Tara Reid falling down” and you’ll see a whopping 567,000 results.
Of course, the most well-known Tara Reid mishap of all — let me repeat again: there are MANY — is that time she hit the red carpet with a breast blowing in the wind, but she’s taken a few legendary falls as well. Like this one on a boardwalk. Look at that perplexed face; it’s only a little bit funny that she seems surprised by the fact that she’s fallen on her butt yet again. You’d think she’d be totally used to it by now.
2. And The Award For Best Fall Goes To… J-Law!
At the 2013 Academy Awards, Jennifer Lawrence was on her way to the stage to accept her award for Best Actress when she inadvertently also received the unofficial Best Fall award. Perhaps it was her voluminous dress or those slippery stairs or one too many champagnes before the show, whatever, she fell. However, the ever-so-graceful J-Law stopped herself from smashing her face into the floor, got up, and floated off to pick up her award.
J-Law has a bit of a history when it comes to falling: she ate it at the Madrid premiere of Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 in 2015 and again at a London fan screening of X-Men: Apocalypse in 2016. Her battle with gravity is so legendary that a conspiracy theory exists which states that she falls on purpose, because that’s such a reasonable thing to do?
1. Kerry Katona Comes In For A Landing
Although our U.S. readers may not be all that familiar with British singer Kerry Katona, she makes this list because of all the smashed stars who have ever fallen on their faces, Katona falling down drunk with her pants around her ankles at the airport at 11 in the morning is easily the best example ever. You don’t get much more smashed than that.
At 7 that morning, she caught a flight at Gatwick Airport to Gran Canaria airport, but not before she tweeted out an adorable selfie of her and a flute of champagne. Oh champagne! So fun! Well, until you have one too many. Apparently she had so many that while in the air, the flight attendants had to tell her to knock it off as she was disturbing everyone else on the plane.
By the time she arrived at her destination, she was gloriously, fall-down drunk. Literally. And a fellow passenger got the whole event on camera.
Sources: wetpaint.com, dailymail.co.uk, usmagazine.com