Britney Spears is one of those celebrities whose career has had so many ups and downs, she might as well have a season pass to a theme park. She has definitely had some troubled moments– cutting off all her hair had to have been the lowest point that comes to mind, as it came along with a total mental breakdown. Having been in the spotlight since an early age, it seems like the pressure just got too much for her.
But then it must be hard to live with a camera in your face at all times. Britney literally grew up in front of a lens, and it has captured a lot of moments throughout her life. Many of them she no doubt wishes she could forget, but the photographic evidence is there for everyone to see. What’s clear is that when you have a few bad periods in your life, there are going to be some less attractive photos of you hanging around on the internet.
Britney didn’t have the safety of anonymity to prevent her breakdown becoming public, and even since recovering, she doesn’t get a say in when the lens snaps. That’s why we were able to put together this collection of photographs that Britney would absolutely never want anyone to see. But for your viewing pleasure, we have managed to bring them all to the light of day once more– even if Britney really wouldn’t want us to! Prepare for some of the ugliest, weirdest, most awkward shots you’ve ever seen of this star.
15. Grrr… Me Like Starbucks!
Here, Britney was apparently caught mid-rant because she wasn’t pleased to find the paparazzi blocking her way. Her hair is a mess with her extensions flying everywhere, and her cheap-looking white tank quite clearly displays her bra underneath. Add in her clutching her Starbucks frap in one hand and we have a terribly entertaining shot of the star. But there’s more… the worst part of all is the expression that she is wearing on her face. If you take a look at later photographs from this same set, it’s easy to tell that she is shouting. Looking at it here, however, that isn’t so clear. It just looks like she is pulling one of the most awkward expressions she could possibly think of. The teeth are fully out, the lips pulled back– she almost looks like a toddler having a tantrum. Add this to the fact that it was during a time that the media were in a frenzy for unattractive photos of her, and Britney would probably like to bury this one forever.
14. Not Her Proudest Stage Moment
One thing you can certainly say about Britney is that she has never shied away from a skimpy outfit. We were first introduced to her with the infamous schoolgirl look, and she soon developed a trademark for nude, glittery bodysuits. She’s been seen in more skin-tight, bedazzled leotards than a Dancing With The Stars performer, but naturally there have been a few times when it hasn’t quite looked the way that it should have. We all know and appreciate the fact that Britney is a real woman, with a real woman’s body. But that doesn’t mean that she should wear outfits that reveal way too much, as in this image. She is bulging out over the top of her shorts, with unattractive lumps of flesh coming out from under the straps of her jewelled bra as well. In future, perhaps the jewels should come back onto the rest of her midriff as well.
13. Bald And Angry
Why so angry, Britney? This is from the time after Britney had famously shaved her head. It was obvious to see that she was seriously struggling and had a lot of problems that she needed to deal with. Of course, she wasn’t allowed to deal with it in peace– not when her breakdown was big news in the press. Naturally, the constant invasion of cameras to her face made her feel even more vulnerable during this time, and that turned to anger. Here, nothing about the image is flattering. She has no hair on her head, her makeup is clumpy around her eyes, her brows have been left unkept, and her skin looks greasy. Add the angry expression and this is one that definitely isn’t going into the Spears family album.
12. Shaving Her Head
This is a moment in Britney’s history which will forever live in infamy. Probably long after anyone really remembers her music, she’ll be known as the pop star who broke down and shaved her head. She did this in full public view in a hair salon, where the staff had reportedly refused to shave her head when she requested it. Instead, she took the clippers from them herself, and went ahead to take it all off. There was almost a vacant look in her eyes while she did it, and the images shocked the world. It seemed unthinkable that a famous woman who was known for her glitz and glamour would turn around and do something like this. It was a very obvious rejection of the material values that had been placed upon her, and it was not until long after this point that she was able to turn a corner and return to something resembling normality.
11. A Questionable Video
Here’s a picture of Britney looking very upset indeed, with what clearly look like bruises and cuts all over her face. So this is where I tell you all about the domestic violence she was trying to hide, right? Not at all– actually, this is all just makeup. The special effects were put into place for the video for her single, Perfume. Which is odd, since that video just features Britney lying on a bed in her underwear for the most part. So what’s the deal with this photograph? Well, it turns out that her camp decided to completely change the storyline for the video at the last moment, after everything had already been shot. She was originally going to play an assassin character who refused to kill the man she loved, resulting in herself getting beaten up and killed by the people who had hired her. It was pretty dark stuff and this photo was never supposed to leak.
10. Just A Casual Lunch
Where do you even start with this one? Rather than a huge star, Britney looks like nothing more than trailer trash in this photograph. She’s sitting in a cheap diner surrounded by what look like retirees, waiting for some food with her son. She’s wearing a collection of what can apparently be called clothing, but doesn’t necessarily look like it: an oversized white handkerchief as an excuse for a top, and jeans slung so low that her pink thong is on display. Then there’s the ever classy effort of pairing a white halter top with a black bra. Add to this the fact that her hair looks dirty, as does her makeup, and you wouldn’t get any points for guessing that this was during the breakdown years. She was even rumoured to be drunk when this was taken, as she was photographed around the same time of almost dropping her baby.
9. Driving With Baby – Part 1
This is the one that we all remember! Britney was being hounded by paparazzi while she held her baby boy, and she wanted to get away fast. She was on her own, though, and didn’t have much of an option for something to do. So in the end, she thought the best possible idea was to jump in the car with the baby on her lap. Oh wait, no, there was actually someone with her who could have taken the baby instead… sitting right in the passenger seat in this shot. Oops! Needless to say, she came under heavy criticism for trying to drive away in such a fashion. This was one of the moments that led to her custody being taken away. There were a lot of jokes made at the time, but it seriously wasn’t funny to see a child’s life put into danger.
8. I Think I’ll Just Attack This Car With An Umbrella
Another low point for Britney. It seems like she has had so many of them, and there were cameras around at every opportunity. She was not pleased about being followed by members of the press, who were keen to get the best shots of her looking awful. With her newly shaved head she was hot property, and they all wanted a piece of her. That’s when she really flipped out and let loose. She grabbed this umbrella and repeatedly smashed it into the car window until it shattered, breaking the handle of the umbrella in the process. It was not a good moment for her, nor for her mental health or career. It’s just lucky that she managed to recover and go back on the stage to continue showcasing her real talent. Which is not, as you may believe, having awful photographs taken and doing crazy stuff.
7. Holes In Ma Stockings
At first glance, this set of photographs is only mildly embarrassing. Her facial expressions aren’t quite right, and the poses might be a bit odd, but you can see that she is in the middle of a song and dance routine. She certainly isn’t looking as out of it as she does in other shots on this list. But the reason that she wouldn’t want you to see this photo becomes clearer when you look a bit more closely. Thanks perhaps to some serious dancing causing a bit of friction between her thighs, she has managed to rip her black fishnet tights right around the crotch area. There’s already a hole on the leg, but it looks like this one is getting bigger by the moment. Not the kind of distraction you need when you are trying to perform. Certainly not what you would want to happen while you are performing a routine that displays that area of your body.
6. Why Am I Here?
Everyone really knew that things had gone wrong for Britney when she took to the stage at the VMAs to perform a rather questionable routine. Her eyes were glossy and dead, with her expression blank, as you can see here. The normal effusive and bright Britney was nowhere to be seen. She seemed to fumble through most of the dance moves with no enthusiasm, literally walking from position to position at some points as her backup dancers moved around her. Then there was the outfit. She looked bulgy, and made no effort to flatter herself with her poses, which was unusual at the time. Overall, it was a car crash of a performance that she would probably erase from our collective memory if she could– or at least from YouTube.
5. Is That Her Hair?
Speaking of YouTube, here’s a screencap or two that Britney would really like you to forget. First of all, let’s address the fact that we all know celebrities are mostly fake. We know that they have fake tans and botox injections and hair extensions and they weren’t really born with that nose. It’s just not very often that we get reminded of it, at least not in a blatant way. Poor Britney seems to have always had some trouble with her extensions, and during this performance she had some serious issues. While she was singing and dancing, a huge chunk of her blonde extensions fell out of the back of her hair and lay awkwardly on the stage. Perhaps the worst thing was how they lay so obviously, sitting on the stage for all to see. It wasn’t something that anyone was going to forget once the performance was over, or fail to notice for that matter.
4. In The Club
Oh dear, Britney. Oh dear. That’s all we can say about this image. Ignoring the elephant in the room for a moment, just look at her terrible weave. The top of her head looks like a mannequin, it’s so badly visible. On top of that, the hair itself looks greasy and listless– not the kind of thing that you would want to attach to your head by choice. And then there’s the bottom half of the photograph. This was during Britney’s phase of going out wearing basically a negligee with no underwear, so it’s lucky that on this occasion she did actually wear some. Still, that flash of purple is not something that a responsible mother would ever want anyone to see. She doesn’t look like she is in any kind of good condition at all, and if you saw her in a club you would probably steer clear.
3. Driving With Baby – Part 2
This is one of those photographs that really got Britney into trouble. Whether or not she recognized the error of her ways, she definitely wishes that this picture was never taken. It was brought up as an example of child negligence. She actually lost custody of her children at one point, which goes to show how serious this was. The problem was that she had put her child into a front-facing child seat, which could have been disastrous if an airbag was triggered; babies are supposed to be facing the rear for full safety. Not only that, but she had put him in an open top car with the sun blaring down on the infant, no hat, probably no sunscreen either, and it seems as though he isn’t fastened properly because of how far down he’s able to lean.
2. Green Dress, Bandana, Hoop Earrings… And Nip-Slip?
When Britney gets it wrong, she really gets it wrong. First, there’s the awful combo of this green satin dress against the green and pink hippie bandana. With the silver hoop earrings to match, she looks as though she’s dressing up as Esmeralda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Then you have the lank and messy blonde hair hanging down over her shoulders, and the fairly questionable decision to go braless. Finally it all comes together in the only way it realistically could; with Britney flashing everyone in the room. She is clearly being walked out of somewhere with two people close on each arm, so they are probably trying to get her out of there for her own good. And what’s with Britney always carrying a cup of something when she gets a bad photograph?
1. Zip Me Baby One More Time
Finally, we come to the last of our embarrassing Britney moments. Although she dealt with this mishap quite well, as you can see from these YouTube screenshots, there were some moments when things went very wrong for her. She was performing on stage in one of her latest Las Vegas residencies when her skin-tight black costume decided that it was altogether too tight. The zipper burst open all the way down her back, leaving her in danger of revealing all as she continued to dance and sing. She was forced to wait until one of her backup dancers could run up behind her and pretend to continue the song while attempting hastily to zip her back up. Sadly for Britney, this isn’t the only on-stage malfunction she has had– maybe it’s time for looser costumes.