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15 Party Pics Drunk Celebs Don’t Want You To See

Entertainment

There’s this old Hollywood legend that Jack Nicholson once hooked up at the Playboy mansion, which wouldn’t have been a big deal except that he bedded a beautiful blonde on the hood of James Caan’s jaguar. There’s another party rumor that Elton John once downed 60 valiums at a large family gathering. Then, he jumped into a pool and screamed that he would soon die, all while grandma watched. In yet another party legend, Leonardo DiCaprio once broke up a steamy make out session between Drew Barrymore and Heather Graham. Supposedly, DiCaprio felt the girls-only affair disturbed the small house party he was throwing.

I know what you’re thinking: pics or it didn’t happen. Unfortunately for us plebeians, paparazzi cameras aren’t allowed inside the nightclubs and parties of the world’s biggest celebs. All we get is the whisper of rumor, the second or third-hand story. Getting a glimpse inside a celebrity party is rare, but fortunately it does happen. If it didn’t, we wouldn’t have pics of Lindsay Lohan tongue-wrestling her own mother or Lady Gaga’s bare booty.

Sometimes, the picture is so bad it haunts the celeb forever. These are fifteen of those photos. These are party pictures that are so immoral or embarrassing the celebs hope you won’t look. Don’t feel bad for taking this voyeuristic journey into Hollywood’s party-life depravity. The lifestyle of a celebrity isn’t all glitz and glam; sometimes, it’s late night ho-strolls and pissed pants. The newish adage certainly rings true: celebs, they’re just like us or at least their drunken antics are.

15. Christina Ricci Gets So Hammered She Can’t Stand On Her Own

via http://static.thesuperficial.com

Who knew pixie-like Christina Ricci was such a hard partier? I wouldn’t have guessed that the petite raven-haired beauty lived it up this much, but the pictures don’t lie. At a fashion party in Paris, Christina went too hard on the free booze, and found it difficult to stand. Lucky for her, there was a cute guy around to keep her on her feet.

Unlucky for her, there were a bunch of cameras pointed at the wasted actress. They caught her falling, spilling drinks, and looking as if she may eat the digital camera in her pal’s hand. Although not pictured together, Lindsay Lohan was also at the Jean-Charles de Castelbajac fashion event. Because wherever there is free booze, there’s a Lohan nearby…

As far as Christina goes, I don’t blame her. We’ve all had bad nights, it’s just too bad she clonked out before the cameras did. Well, too bad for her because I rather enjoy seeing celebrities acting a fool.

14. Victoria Beckham Appears To Have Wet Her Pants

via http://img.wennermedia.com

At around 2 a.m., Victoria Beckham and hubby David Beckham were spotted by paparazzi leaving a party. The party was a celebration of her flagship store’s one-year anniversary, and the stars were inside living it up until an hour when stores are typically long closed and only bars are open.

They emerged looking a bit disheveled, and Victoria had a large wet spot around the zipper of her pants. To me, it doesn’t appear to be sweat on Victoria’s pants. Come on, no one sweats like that. In just that one spot and nowhere else? It seems like the former Spice Girl maybe had a bit too much to drink and wet herself.

After the pictures leaked online, a very embarrassed Victoria told E! News that it wasn’t pee, but rather she’d spilt a drink. If you ask me, the wet patch looks quite familiar, like the pee spot when my dear friend couldn’t hold it after a night at the bar and wet herself (just a bit) on the car ride home. You be the judge. Did normally super-polished Victoria Beckham pee herself, or is this the unfortunate result of a carelessly toppled drink?

13. Kiefer Sutherland Loses His Pants In A Karaoke Bar

via web-images.chacha.com

Kiefer Sutherland is a notorious drunk, and has been since the late 1980s at least. He was famously arrested in 1989 for DUI and concealing a loaded weapon. Since then, he’s repeatedly been involved in drunken bar fights and has more than three DUIs to his name. He is frequently photographed sloppy drunk, and there’s even a video tape of him wrestling a Christmas tree in the lobby of the Strand Palace Hotel in London.

Not his finest hour, Kiefer let down more than his hair at Dimples karaoke bar in LA. The famous actor was throwing back drinks all night, and eventually stripped off his pants and skivvies to join a table of strangers. When he was called to sing a Billy Joel tune, he was too drunk to sing more than a few lines. Thankfully, his pants were on when he hit the stage, and the crowd was happy to help him out.

12. Rihanna Parties On The Streets Of Barbados

via https://media1.popsugar-assets.com

Rihanna loves her homeland, Barbados and its yearly harvest festival, Crop Over. Crop Over is an extravagant island party complete with Calypso music, endless flowing booze, and over-the-top costumes. It’s a festival that celebrates the rich history of Barbados, but also the importance of twerking on comely strangers in a skimpy monokini.

Crop Over is a month-long celebration, so there are lots and lots of parties. In the picture, Rihanna is getting down at the Foreday Morning Jam party, which is a celebration that begins at midnight and ends at 6am. Rihanna admits that she woke up still wearing face paint and a veil because she was so sauced up from the night before…err morning before.

Although Rihanna is known for her hard-partying ways, it’s unlikely she’s proud of that moment when she ended up on the ground on all fours. No worries though. Rihanna has the figure to fill out that swimsuit, and she’s known for her superb dancing ability (even if this dance move wasn’t her best).

11. Lindsay Lohan Made Out With Her Mom

via http://guestofaguest.com

Eek! Someone grab the soap because my eyes need a washing. Yes, that is Lindsay Lohan’s tongue entering her mother’s, Dina Lohan’s, slightly parted lips. The candid shot was taken at Beauty & Essex restaurant in NYC on Dina’s 49th birthday. Lindsay’s gift to her mom? An inappropriate (and possibly illegal) French kiss.

When asked about this bizarre moment, Lindsay would not provide an explanation. She told E! News, “My comment is that we’re not responding to the disgusting insinuations being made.” Disgusting insinuations? It’s not the public’s fault that she made out with her mom and some photographer happened to catch it on camera.

Likely the two women were drunk, but the picture speaks for itself. This is one of many pictures that show Lindsay engaged in an act of PDA, but it’s the only one that depicts her making out with her own mother. Let’s hope it stays that way.

10. Paris Hilton Is A Hot Mess

via http://www.celebitchy.com

Paris Hilton may be the vainest woman in Hollywood, so it’s highly likely she hates this picture. She was sh*t faced in St. Tropez and just letting it all hang out. Since she’s out of the states and on full display, this picture officially makes her the world’s biggest hot mess.

With all her naughty bits on full display, Paris snatched the mic and spent the night singing on stage. Per witness reports, she also lip sang several songs, so she could have put the mic down, but she didn’t. There’s no word if the crowd enjoyed these drunken antics or not.

Paris is a notorious party animal, so there’s no shortage of pictures of her at parties; however, there are few that depict her completely smashed as this one does. She was absolutely hammered. I should mention that this picture was taken just after she was arrested for possession of marijuana in South Africa. Paris doesn’t slow down.

9. Britney Spears Can’t Keep Her Clothes On, Or Her Eyes Open

via HubPages

Before I comment on how obviously tanked Britney Spears is in this photo, I’m going to comment on the dress she’s wearing. Or, is it a dress? It could be a spray-painted and safety-pinned satin sheath. That would explain why it won’t stay on her shoulder.

What’s in the cup, Britney? I’m guessing liquor. Only liquor could make one so warm they’re oblivious to the cool air on an exposed nipple. Also, can we address why no one told Britney her boob was hanging out? She went around like this for quite the while, and no one bothered to fix her dress (or trash bag or whatever).

Unfortunately for Britney, she’s not had a lot of success partying with friends. Seems like she’s too often surrounded by phonies who aren’t afraid to exploit her drunkenness for a bit of tabloid fame. That being said, it’s no one’s fault but her own that she was too drunk to notice the nip slip. It’s because of antics like these that a court awarded her father conservatorship over her life.

8. Miley Cyrus Gets Banned From China

via http://cdn.images.express.co.uk

Miley Cyrus loves attention. That’s evident from the wealth of party pictures she unabashedly shares on her social media networks. She’s no stranger to controversy, and seems unfazed by tabloid photos showing her derriere and other bits. It wouldn’t make one difference to Miley if I shared a picture of her hard-partying ways, but I bet she feels differently about this party pic which got her banned from China.

Miley, her then-boyfriend Justin Gaston, and their group of friends are mocking Asians in the photo. The one Asian man in the photo looks a bit shocked by this strange behavior, but who knows if he was in on the joke or not. Miley’s poor taste in comedy didn’t go unnoticed by the Chinese government. They promptly banned the actress from visiting the country, and the Organization of Chinese Americans deemed the photo “offensive.”

Miley was unrepentant. On her website, she wrote “In NO way was I making fun of any ethnicity! I was simply making a goofy face.” She maybe needs a lesson in cultural sensitivity. She also said, “I definitely feel like the press is trying to make me out as the new ‘BAD GIRL!’” Is the press doing that, or is she doing that to herself?

7. Johnny Depp’s Alleged Drunken Domestic Violence Encounter

via http://assets.nydailynews.com

On Saturday, May 21st 2016, Amber Heard was chilling with friends. Allegedly, the women were talking about the untimely passing of Johnny Depp’s mom when Depp flew into a rage. Amber took photos of the bruising she sustained to show a judge, and promptly filed for both a divorce and a restraining order. Both the divorce and restraining order were granted, and the picture somehow found its way onto the web.

In court documents, Amber alleged that Depp was frequently drunk and abusive throughout their tumultuous relationship. There is video evidence of another abusive encounter between Amber and Depp. The video, taken early in the morning, shows a drunk Depp storming around their kitchen, slamming cabinets, and eventually hurling a wine glass. He comes across as very disturbed.

For Depp’s reputation to recover, he may need to take a break from his hard-partying ways. Also in her court documents, Amber alleges that he is both “an alcoholic and drug addict.” If this is true, Depp may need help to recover.

6. Madonna Drunk Drove A Tricycle

via http://assets.nydailynews.com

Although not technically a celebrity party, Madonna was certainly partying on stage at a 2016 concert in Melbourne, Australia. She drank tequila from a flask and asked the audience if someone would, “please f—k me.” I’m sure there were a few takers, but as far as I know she didn’t bring a random concert goer home with her.

She did climb onto a tricycle in an attempt to ride it, but subsequently fell over because she was tore up from the concert floor up. To be fair, Madonna was clearly dealing with some emotional issues. Her son had only recently moved out of the home they shared to live with his father, Madonna’s ex-husband Guy Ritchie.

She slurred that her ex-husband was a “son of a b—tch,” and that there was no one left to take care of her. Hate to break this to you drunk Madonna, but parents are supposed to take care of the kids not the other way around. Since then, it seems Madonna has recovered from her breakdown. Ritchie did win custody of Rocco; however, Madonna has been awarded regular visitation with the boy.

5. Lady Gaga Parties It Up As A NYC Go-Go Dancer

via http://assets.nydailynews.com

Ever wonder what pre-fame life was like for Lady Gaga? It wasn’t boring, that’s for sure. Stefani Germanotta, better known as Lady Gaga, used to be a go-go dancer. She sported leather and thong bikinis to dance in popular NYC nightclubs. In the picture, she is leaning against a nightclub wall while a club goer stuffs a dollar bill into her G-string.

According to Brendan Sullivan, a former patron of the NYC club scene, (who also wrote a tell all about Gaga’s pre-fame life), Gaga “partied hard and explored her bisexuality” while living it up on the lower East Side. “We’d go out every night, eight nights a week, if we could. She would match me drinks toe-to-toe.” He also writes that she would hop onto bars and perform for the crowd, so she’s always been a performer. Even before she became Lady Gaga, but now she’s not shaking it for dollar bills. She’s a multi-millionaire performer with a legion of thirsty fans.

4. Matthew McConaughey Is A Party Animal

via https://pjensi.files.wordpress.com

It’s no secret that Matthew McConaughey loves to party, so there’s no shortage of embarrassing party pictures. The A-list celebrity claims he stopped being a “wild one” when he met his wife, Brazilian model Camila Alves, but a recent night in Nicaragua tells a different story. According to witnesses, McConaughey got wasted and lost a shoe. They also allege he was hitting on several women in the bar, but he’s still married, so maybe not?

McConaughey never found his lost flip-flop, which he apparently lost in a ditch. In an email to the New York Daily News, he wrote: “Drunk? Absolutely. Nicaragua is a beautiful place, epic waves, the best surfing I have ever been on. And yes, I’m STILL looking for my flip-flop. So if anyone finds it floating around down there (it has 6:22 stitched into the side), please send it my way. There is a reward.” So, if you’re in Nicaragua and come across that, you maybe have a celebrity sighting in your future.

3. Orlando Bloom and Selena Gomez Caught In Nightclub Cheating Scandal

via http://inthemixxshow.com

In a Las Vegas nightclub, Orlando Bloom probably cheated on Katy Perry with Selena Gomez. It was the after-party for Selena’s Vegas concert. Although she and Bloom are old friends, Bloom was (and currently still is) dating Katy Perry. The grossest thing about this hookup is that Bloom is more than ten years Selena’s senior. She is 23 and he is 39. Maybe to some that’s not indecent, but to me they’re worlds apart and this was inappropriate behavior for Bloom who is also in a committed relationship.

TMZ has the exclusive rights to pictures taken inside the club. They depict Selena and Bloom canoodling in a booth, and are very grimy indeed. It’s hard to believe that Katy is still with Bloom after the pictures emerged, but she is. If you Google it, you’ll find photos which show Selena and Bloom getting very touchy-feely. For most girlfriends, this would be a deal breaker. The photo above was taken on the same night, but outside the club. Both Selena and Bloom have the look of a deer caught in headlights; perhaps, they’re feeling a bit guilty?

2. Kim K Was Caught Wearing Butt Pads

via http://i.dailymail.co.uk

Kim Kardashian is adamant that she doesn’t wear butt pads. She claims her famous derriere is au-naturel, but this photo tells a much different story. Kim and company were leaving Khloe Kardashian’s 32nd birthday party at LA’s Dave & Busters when paparazzi snapped this very telling photo. Those are pads in her underwear, right? Basically, she was busted at Dave & Busters.

Kim claims they aren’t pads, but offers no other explanation. Considering Kim has the most famous behind on the planet (even more famous than Jennifer Lopez’s famous booty), it would make sense that she would lie. She doesn’t want to be caught stuffing her greatest asset, which could cause her to look like a phony to the public. Except, didn’t we all think she was a phony before seeing this picture?

As far as party pictures go, this is about as bad as it gets for Kim. Her sister Khloe famously told Elle.com which of her sisters drink the most, and Kim doesn’t go for the bad stuff. “Kimberly does not drink alcohol whatsoever. Pregnant or not, she’s just never been into it.” I guess that’s why Khloe’s drunk ass is my favorite.

1. Drew Barrymore Parties At Studio 54 At Age 9

via https://brendatobias.files.wordpress.com

Drew Barrymore’s mother brought her to Studio 54 when she was just 9-years-old, making her the youngest celebrity to be photographed drunk in the club. Abusive parents are no laughing matter, and Drew’s were among the worst. She wrote in a memoir that her father was a violent alcoholic, and that her mother “was definitely too out there.”

When she was only 12-years-old, Drew was sent to rehab to fight her addiction to drugs and alcohol. I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t imagine attending rehab at that age (or ever for that matter). It’s a good thing she was emancipated at 14-years-old, but it’s sad that she went to have a tough few years beyond that. She wrote that it was difficult to find work, and that she lived in a bad neighborhood because she couldn’t afford much else. Yet, she’s turned out so well. Drew is a loving mother and she remains an a-list actress despite her checkered past.

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