Getting old is hard to do. Getting old in front of a camera with millions and millions of people from around the world watching your every move is even harder. Thankfully, for most people, the public doesn’t really care what we look like. We get all weird looking in peace. For actors and celebrities, their image is everything, despite how progressive we like to think we’ve become. We can pretend we don’t care, but we’re judging constantly, even if it’s silent.
Some actors make aging look like an art form. Helen Mirren, Jessica Lange, George Clooney, these freaks of nature make it look easy, but it’s not. While the looks and the weight of some celebrities fluctuates year in and year out, sometimes these physical changes are for life. They never revert back to their previous form. Female celebrities in particular often see their bodies change with children, both during pregnancy and after, but many of them bounce back. Stars like Mariah Carey, Christina Aguilera and Jessica Simpson have all been criticized for their less-than-perfect bodies after their pregnancies, but, today, all three look pretty darn good. Not everyone can do this though, and time is not as kind for everyone.
The stars on this list have lost their once-amazing looks. It’s harsh to point out, but honesty is the best policy. It doesn’t mean they’re bad people. They just look worse. Sadly, for many in Hollywood, looks are the crutch stars lean on. For these stars, they now lean on actual crutches because they’re out of shape and out of breath. The physical changes in the celebs on this list are so startling you would think they were preparing for the role of a lifetime but really they’re just preparing for a lifetime of rolls. You see what we’re doing here. We’re setting up fat joke punchlines. It’s not all about being fat though. Some of the stars on this list just got ugly. Here are 15 once-hot celebs who lost their edge.
15. Kelly Clarkson
At first, when people started noticing that Kelly Clarkson was gaining weight so quickly, they were a bit shocked. But now, she’s kind of settled into it and we have basically become used to it. She tends to go up and down in weight a lot, but she’s a good sport about it, saying “We are who we are. Whatever size.” She also said, “I’m such a creative person that I yoyo. So sometimes I’m more fit and I get into kickboxing hardcore. And then sometimes I don’t and I’m like… I’d rather have wine.” Well, if these are her only two options, it’s safe to assume that Clarkson is probably a full-blown alcoholic.
14. Meg Ryan
Plastic surgery is something that many people will never understand. It’s so rare to find someone these days who has had work done and look great. Or maybe the good ones are the ones we don’t know about. Well, we know about Meg Ryan’s surgeries. They are numerous and they have changed her from hot to not. She used to be so cute and sweet and now she looks like she’s constantly eating a Sour Warhead. Her cheeks are now so full that they look swollen and sore. Her lips have been enlarged to almost the size of Angelina Jolie’s and, overall, she doesn’t even look like herself anymore. It’s this damn industry. Women are forced to try and stay young or get close to perfection. That leads to bad decisions.
13. Matthew Perry
Every other week, as sure as the sun will rise, a new picture of Matthew Perry looking downtrodden is released. This poor guy isn’t even doing all that bad, but he looks like he needs a cold shower and shelter for the night. Maybe he just likes to walk around town looking as casual as he possibly can, but it does look kind of sad. You know what it is? It’s his jowls. His resting face isn’t bitchy, it’s jowly. A sagging face makes it look like you’ve got a sagging life. So, we feel sad for Perry. We assume that he misses the high life when he was on Friends. Well, he most certainly does miss the high life but that’s what cocaine withdrawals will do to a man. We like you Perry. You look like you smell like gasoline and stale cigarettes, but we like the cut of your jib.
12. Cybill Shepherd
Cybill Shepherd was a wild one in her younger years. She was a Hollywood hottie and everyone loved her. Word on the streets is that she loved everyone right back. There were countless rumors about her flings with Hollywood hunks, but good for her. Who the hell are we to shame someone for getting it on with their co-stars. “Make hay while the sun shines,” they say. And she did. She made so much damn hay, bales and bales of it. While many people applauded her for growing up, it was really just Shepherd growing old and becoming less desirable. You’re telling us that Shepherd would still be having every one of her male co-stars if she wanted? No. That’s a young person’s sport. You see, Shepherd knew that beauty is fleeting. She did her thing when it was hers to do.
11. Nicole Eggert
Nicole Eggert is one of those celebrities that is easily forgettable these days, but she was a sight to behold in her prime years. Beautiful, sexy and not afraid to show off her body, Eggert was a walking eye candy. Then, like many women, Eggert struggled to shed some of the baby weight from her second child. She was getting older and less active; her body was changing. It’s normal, but she’s a celebrity and these are the things we talk about. In the last few years, Eggert’s weight has fluctuated, but we should just all let go of what she used to look like. Those days are gone. Today, Eggert runs an ice-cream truck. She’s described it as a “Family run business bringing a fun, unique, and innovative twist to the ice cream man.” The twist, if you’re wondering, is that instead of you getting the ice cream you purchased from her, Eggert just eats it in front of you. Oh, it’s a joke. Smile.
10. Catherine Bach
Catherine Bach will forever be known as Daisy Duke, the sexy woman who made cut-off denim shorts into one of the hottest clothing items in history. Bach was the most appealing women on television for a long stretch, but, as time wore on, she started looking less and less like the Daisy we knew and loved and more like a weed. No, that’s horrible. As Bach aged, she lost her model-like figure and began packing on the pounds. She used to be able to go braless and look no different. Now her bras must be reinforced with steel to push up Daisy’s assets. Still mean but much cleverer.
9. Lela Rochon
Lela Rochon was smoking hot in the mid 90s. She first hit it big with Waiting to Exhale and she instantly became a sex symbol in the industry. Today, she looks nothing like she did back then. The slim, trim and sexy Rochon got a bit older and sometimes, when you get a bit older, you get a bit heavier as well. It’s part of the wonderful journey we call life. Rochon had a few kids in that time too, and those little buggers can make you put on weight, too. There’s a good chance that she just let her body do what it wanted to instead of it what she wanted it to. It’s even possible that she really was waiting to exhale and, once she finally did, she revealed that she had a big ol’ belly that she was sucking in.
8. Kelly Le Brock
The 1985 film, Weird Science, might not be the most politically correct film out there, but it’s still an 80s treasure. Part of the charm is that the computer-generated fantasy woman, played by Kelly Le Brock, is soul-crushingly beautiful. When we watch that film today, everything looks dated, the fashion sense, the hair and the technology, but Le Brock still looks amazing. In real life, sadly, that’s not really the case anymore. As with most humans, age makes us look worse. Le Brock, like other humans, aged. If they ever made a sequel, it would be like the computer program that created Le Brock got a horrible virus and the present-day Le Brock was the result. You know, that’s an awfully rude thing to write, but it’s got the makings of a decent film there.
7. Sally Struthers
Sometimes aging is scary. Sally Struthers is such a sweet lady, but we have to mention her because she certainly didn’t age well, at least, not compared to others in the industry. As our bodies change with time, it can become more difficult to keep weight off. There are also any number of health factors that can contribute to weight fluctuations as well. Who knows what it was for Struthers, but from the pretty little thing she was when she was young on All in the Family to the fuller figure she has now, it’s quite a change. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. For now, we’ll just curse changing body metabolism. We won’t put any jokes here because we can’t think of any. She’s still kind of pretty anyways.
6. Kathleen Turner
It’s funny how our looks determine how people interpret other characteristics of ours. When Kathleen Turner was young and hot, people loved her raspy voice. It was sexy and smoky, mysterious and sensual. Now, as an older woman, it sounds like she eats cigarettes for breakfast. But of course Turner’s looks have depleted as well. She’s over 60 years old. It was bound to happen. If everyone aged well, then aging well wouldn’t be a compliment. In a way, it’s because of Kathleen Turner that your own aging might not be considered too awful. When you look in the mirror and gasp at your sagging features, spotted skin and ballooning weight, you can think to yourself, at least it’s not as bad as miss Turner. You’ll go to hell if you think those thoughts, but you can still think them if you want.
5. Edward Furlong
Any young ones out there might think it’s crazy to suggest to suggest that Edward Furlong was a heartthrob in his day, but it’s true; he was. He was mysterious, handsome and awesome, the holy trifecta. This was John Connor we’re talking about, the leader of the resistance in The Terminator. Sadly, these days, the only thing this guy is resisting is basic personal hygiene. He looks in rough shape. A life of drugs and rock and roll was probably amazing at the time, but we have to wonder if Furlong would trade it all for the chance to grow up normally. Now that he looks like a used cigarette filter, you’ve got to think he would like to go back and maybe not mainline heroin before 10am every morning.
4. John Travolta
Now that John Travolta is in his 60s, he’s lost all the sex appeal he once had. That was bound to happen at some point, as it does with every star, but his aging process was weird. One of the weirdest things about Travolta, and there are just so many weird things about this oddball, is that his body is not the thing that’s growing the most as it usually does with people. It’s his face that is getting bigger. And we don’t mean that he’s getting chubby cheeks. Like the dimensions of his head are changing. It appears that his skull is increasing in size. He’s also getting some ill-advised plastic surgery which has made him look like a big-headed Travolta wax figure. It’s just off-putting to look at him.
3. Tara Reid
Tara Reid used to be so good looking. Then she went and got plastic surgery and came out looking really, really gro- different. No offense. Does that make it sound better? Seriously, how else can we say it? Even she admits that she looks bad. When describing the liposuction, Reid said, “I got lipo because even though I was skinny, I wanted – I’m not going to lie – a six-pack. I had body contouring, but it all went wrong. My stomach became the most ripply, bulgy thing.” Does that sound sexy to you? Ripples and bulges are not what we want to see from her (or from anyone…). We want the old Reid back. Is that too much to ask?
2. Russell Crowe
He’s definitely put his Gladiator days behind him. Russell Crowe was once the epitome of style and fitness, but those days are long, long gone. He’s put away his six pack and traded it in for a keg, his tuxedo has been flipped for a gutxedo. Meh. He is still a pretty handsome guy, all things considered, but his handsome is covered in flab and defeat. Maybe he’s just waiting for a role that requires him to be in good shape so he can cut all that weight and win an Academy Award because of the physical transformation. But he could also just be getting older and lazier and fatter too. There’s a good chance it’s just that.
1. Olsen Twins
The Olsen Twins were adorable. They were America’s sweethearts. They left the spotlight and got into fashion, but we would check in every once in a while. When they got into their late teens, we could see the women they were becoming. They were going to be so beautiful and they were going to remain that way for a long time. Nope. That wasn’t quite how it all played out. So, where did it all go wrong? In their late teens, they were still very attractive. By their mid 20s, their cheeks began to sink in, but they were still pretty. Then they got frighteningly thin. But they were into fashion so we thought it was normal. Then it kept getting worse. They were wasting away. They were rapidly turning into Gollum from The Lord of the Rings or, worse, they were turning into runway models. Now at 30, the twins look like petite grandmothers, every bit as frail and sallow. Perhaps this is the style they’re going for or maybe they just can’t help it, but we’re not going to just ignore it. What kind of friends would we be if we did that?