The Uber revolution is upon us, and so far, we’ve only had great things to say about it. It’s definitely been a better experience for me than what most cab companies that I’ve dealt with have been able to offer. It’s changed the way we get from place to place, and it’s one of the most convenient modes of transportation that we have now. Gone are the days when you had to wait hours to get a ride somewhere. It’s an opportunity to get a ride somewhere fast, and it’s really easy to use as well. At the end of the day, Uber drivers are just like you and me; they just want to make some extra money by using their cars to give people rides. Everything is done through an app, and it’s a relaxed ride, very different from traveling in a cab.
The fact that these are everyday humans giving us rides has opened up a dark and sometimes hilarious world of fetching a ride. You may think you know what Uber is all about, but fear not; I will open your mind to a different world: one you may not like. Uber drivers are free to hang out, talk, and well, do anything they want with their riders, so it has opened up situations that are truly creepy. If you’ve ever considered taking an Uber ride, then you might want to tune in to some of these shocking confessions from Uber drivers, and when you go on that fateful ride, keep both eyes open.
15. The M————r
You may think that the last place that a guy would want to masturbate is at work, but the numbers say otherwise. Ask around; I dare you. Maybe it’s the fact that they have time to kill, or maybe their jobs are so stressful they require a release during the day — but whatever the reasons are, there really are men and even some women who will masturbate while on the job. The last thing I want to think about, however, is that my Uber driver has been masturbating before I even get in the car. The image alone is so disturbing that I don’t even want to call for another ride again. There is one Uber driver, in particular, that does it every night as he thinks about the passengers that he’s going to have in his car that night. It’s so beyond creepy. “I’m an Uber driver. I masturbate thinking of what I would do to the hot passengers I have had in my car.”
14. S-x in the Backseat
Sometimes, it’s not the Uber driver themselves that are creepy; sometimes it’s their passengers, and shame on you! The last thing a driver needs when he’s on the job is to deal with people with unusual and bizarre requests. Some people just have no shame and will show their trailer parks for all the world to see. But tip them well, and those Uber drivers may just agree to do anything. In the case of one Uber driver, a couple came into his car, and well, they wanted to have sex. All they did was pay him a little extra, and they were allowed to get down and dirty. Drivers just love their tips! “I drive Uber! A couple just paid me $50 over the rate to drive them around while they had sex in the backseat.” Well, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. Some people just can’t wait until they get home.
13. Taking A Pee
The last thing that I want to think about when I get into a car is the possibility that my driver isn’t sanitary. I couldn’t even imagine finding out that my driver peed in his coffee cup to avoid making pit stops. But it’s happened. One Uber driver has this confession to make: “As an Uber driver, I sometimes pee in my empty coffee cup so I can spend more time on the road.” I don’t even want to think about what that would smell like. What if you sat in the front seat and were close to the coffee cup? There’s a possibility you could get a whiff of the driver’s personal urinal. It’s disgusting, to say the least, and trying to earn extra money is no reason not to stop to use the washroom. You better hope you never get into an accident because you and your passenger are going to be covered in piss.
12. A Different Identity
This one may not be as creepy as some of the others, but he’s darn close, that’s for sure. Sure, maybe you don’t want to tell your life story to the people who get into your car, but the idea that someone is out there making up a different identity is a little weird for me. When I chit chat with a driver and find out that he has a wife and kids, how much creepier would it be to realize that he’s never been married and is a chronic masturbator? Why lie about a completely different life? We don’t need to be best buddies, but if we’re chatting, I would rather hear the truth than be blatantly lied to. Otherwise, maybe let’s just keep to ourselves? Call me crazy, but I think dreaming up different lives for yourself is bordering on the creepy. But here’s what one Uber driver confessed: “When riders ask me questions, I always make up a different story. I reinvent myself to every single person because it’s fun.”
11. A Real Life P—o
Some people just like to watch; you know, to be part of a real-life porno. You just don’t expect that someone to be your Uber driver. Hoping to run into a couple of people that you drive that will have sex in front of you is seriously creepy. Like honestly, what is the matter with you? People do it; it wouldn’t be the first Uber driver to experience people having sex in the car, but again, when the driver is anxious for it to happen, you should start to wonder. This particular Uber driver is looking for a one-way ticket to his own sex show, no need for tips. Especially considering the passengers are probably going to be hammered, it just sends chills up my spine. “I’m an Uber driver. I’ve always wanted to drive while a couple f#$ks in the backseat.”
10. The Drunk Creeper
Picking up drunks is probably something that Uber drivers often do. In fact, it’s probably their bread and butter. They work nights and weekends in the hopes of bigger and better tips, and let’s be honest: we are all drinking on the weekends. But when you call for a ride at the end of the night, you’re essentially trusting the person that is driving you home. You really wouldn’t expect them to think of you in an unflattering way. Yes, watching drunks fumble around is certainly funny, and they make easy targets to judge, but what if your Uber driver was thinking about something a little darker, like hooking up with a drunk rider? It’s happened. One Uber driver admitted, “As an Uber driver. I’m just waiting for those hot drunk women to come unto me.” And then what….? Do us all a favor ladies and don’t come onto the Uber driver. Yuck.
9. The Cheating Husband
Never mind creepy situations. Sometimes, people are just creeps. Most people are Uber drivers because they want to make extra money, and being an Uber driver is pretty easy. Not to mention, if you’re ever considering writing a book, just imagine the stories you’d hear on any given night as a driver. I’m just waiting for “Confessions of an Uber Driver” to come out. In the case of some sleazy drivers, they take the job for different reasons. In the case of one driver, he uses the job as a means of cheating on his wife. Douchebag alert! He takes the job so that he can come and go as he pleases without his wife becoming suspicious. “I drive for Uber to be able to cheat on my wife with no questions asked about my whereabouts.” I bet after this, though, the wives will be looking into Uber a little more closely.
8. S-x with Passengers
I gotta say that I find it extra creepy that a lot of drivers make plans on sleeping with the passengers they have in their cars. I’m not sure who is worse — the people that get into the vehicle and go after the drivers or the drivers who seemingly lay in wait in the hopes of pouncing on their riders. What is wrong with people? Two Uber drivers had the same idea, though, so I’m getting the impression that it’s a regular thing for drivers to sleep with their passengers. Hopefully, the drivers aren’t going after passengers that are drunk, though. “I’m an Uber driver and I get a ton of sex from my passengers,” one driver confessed. And wait for this one: “I’m an Uber driver. My friends make fun of me for taking a condom as a ‘just in case.’ I’ve actually used them three times now.”
7. Taking Advantage
Taking advantage of drunk passengers seems to be a common theme for Uber drivers, so is this where all the creeps of the world work? Hey, we can’t say much about consensual sex; it’s not creepy. But what is creepy is when you take advantage of drunk passengers who only called you in the first place to get them home. Hopefully, the passenger doesn’t have serious regrets in the morning. The driver, however, should be feeling guilty for calling sexual acts “tips” instead of admitting that he’s taking advantage of a drunk girl. Being a driver should be about making sure people get home safely, not using it as a means to get lucky with drunk girls. 100% creepy! It would probably be the last time I put a drunk friend into an Uber. “I’m an Uber driver. I got head from my drunk passenger. What a tip…”
6. Driving with Merlin
If you are an Uber driver long enough, it’s bound to happen that you end up with a madman or two in your car at one point or another. For all you know, you could be driving around with serial killers in your car. You really just don’t know the people that you pick up and what they’re really like. But what would you do if you picked up a wizard? Or at least someone who thought they were a wizard. Creepy, right? It just sends chills up my spine when I think about picking up a passenger who is living in a delusion of their own creation. I guess it’s one of those cases where you just drive as fast as you can to your destination. “Uber passenger here: had a driver tell me he was changing his name to Nilrem because it was Merlin spelled backward and he was a wizard.”
5. Hoping for Some Action
We have seen plenty of situations where drivers are looking for some action from their passengers. But imagine getting into the Uber car, and you’re in the passenger seat, and the driver is just fantasizing about having sex with you. So creepy and a little gross. This particular Uber driver does just that, and he sits there hoping that he’s going to get a really good tip from you and one that’s not monetary. It might make you think twice about calling Uber for a drive. The most you can hope for if you get in the car with this guy is to make sure you get home quickly. “I drive for Uber. I love it when I pick up good-looking ladies. You have no idea how much it makes my day. I know I probably won’t get any, but daaaaamn do I want some.”
4. They Are Judging You
I’ve never considered the fact, that I might be judged by my driver when I get in the vehicle. Sure, maybe if I’m super hammered and acting ridiculous, but what if I’m not? It’s perfectly normal for people to automatically judge others; it almost happens at times without us even realizing what we’re doing. But this particular confession from an Uber driver seems crazy. “I’m an Uber driver and I hate driving rich snobs. YOU are not better than me just because I’m driving you around.” I feel like with this creepy confession there’s a bigger issue behind how the driver feels. But for passengers to get in and have to worry about the thoughts of the driver about them is seriously creepy. Passengers are basically at the mercy of the drivers, so try to be kind. Not all rich people are snobs.
3. Drivers Who Are Stalkers
Imagine you’re riding in an Uber, and after you get dropped off, your driver is still thinking about you weeks later? Very creepy indeed, especially since you don’t know each other at all. How can you be so obsessed with someone you just met that you start to miss them? “Confession of Uber driver here. I miss the shit out of 3 girls I drove 8-5-16 dropped off in Hoffman Estates by Schaumburg.” He leaves the date and the place as if he hopes that one of these girls will see it and look for him again. How delusional are you? I don’t remember any driver that I’ve ever had in my entire life, and if these girls were drunk, chances are even slimmer that they remember you, so get over it. He even broadcast their destination after only knowing them for a few minutes.
2. Bourbon Street Confession
There’s no doubt that when you get into a car with a stranger, you’re bound to hear some strange things. Sometimes, drivers will say things that are alarming, and that was the case with this one Uber driver that a passenger met. While visiting New Orleans, a passenger got into a vehicle with a driver that had some advice about Bourbon Street. “Visited New Orleans for a buddy’s bachelor party. The Uber driver told me he quit being an electrician to just be an Uber driver and to continue his recording studio career. He told us all about the city and the great places to go. One of the most chill drivers I’ve ever had… He later decided to tell us to watch out for the LGBT area on Bourbon Street and that he wouldn’t mind us ‘killing some of dem trannies.’ Things got awkward fast, and I was glad we finally got to our hotel.”
1. Creepy Passengers
So, what would you do if you were driving a couple of guys to a destination, and one of them started to suggest different ways of killing you? In this case, the driver tried to keep his cool and just get the passengers to the destination as soon as possible. “Drove UBER one night… It was pretty tame until I picked up two guys who wanted to go to a strip club 40 miles away. As they requested an UberSelect fare, I was happy to drive that far. ($80-100). It took them 15 minutes to get ready and into the car and they seemed cool, so I wasn’t worried. As soon as we got on the freeway, the guy in the passenger seat started asking about UBER driving, and things got dark. After a few minutes, he started saying shit like ‘what would you do if someone just grabbed the steering wheel and ran the car into the median’ and ‘have you ever thought about what would happen if someone in the back seat tried to strangle you while you were driving?’ I got a little freaked out and tried to lighten the mood by asking what they were celebrating, etc., but the one guy just kept at it. I was happy to get to the strip club and get them the hell out of the car. Bonus was the bouncer at the club gave me $40 for dropping them off there. I never drove UBER again. F*ck that.”