Kim Kardashian is an addiction. If she were alcohol, you’d be in liver failure and unable to drink booze by mouth. You’d have to bolus it in through the back door. If she were heroin, you’d be long dead of an overdose. You would have left behind a corpse littered with track marks and open sores. If she were a flesh-eating virus, you’d be a bag of bones. Yet, the public wants more, more, more of Kim, Kim, Kim.
But you can’t talk about Kim without mentioning her butt. Kim is her butt, and her butt is Kim. You can’t separate the two. It would be like discussing Albert Einstein and not mentioning his brain, or having a conversation about Ron Jeremy and not bringing up his pecker. Kim has a career because of her butt–case closed. It’s like what Pamela Anderson said about her breasts, that they have the career and she’s just along for the ride.
With that in mind, we seek to inform you of the 25 most amazing things Kim’s butt has done. It hasn’t cured AIDS, it hasn’t found an alternative energy source, and it hasn’t spread world peace. But it has done a lot more than your rear ever did. All yours did was get wiped by your mother as a baby, sit on the toilet, and get scratched every once in a while. So start reading this article right now so you can get your “Kim” fixed. Do it before you go into withdrawal or find something more meaningful to do with your time, like read a book, watch the news, or have a face to face conversation with your family.
25. Here’s A Cheek, There’s A Cheek, Everywhere A Cheek-Cheek
Kim Kardashian posed for Playboy very early in her career in 2007, back when she was still trying to make a name for herself. To hear her tell it, she was pushed into it by her mother (momager), Kris Jenner, who admitted that it had always been one of her own dreams to pose for the iconic girlie mag. Kim grudgingly posed for racy pics, but apparently, they weren’t showy enough because Hugh Hefner made her re-do them. When she looked back at her previous pics she said, “Awww, I look like a baby.” Yes Kim, that’s what babies look like.
24. Bottoms Up
One of Kim’s most infamous pictorials has got to be the one for Paper magazine where she balanced a glass of champagne on her butt. It was quintessentially Kim, because it was a marriage of high class and low taste. Yes, she was decked out in a sequined gown and pearls, but critics claimed that she was also using her body as a “literal object.”
The controversy reached a peak when it was revealed that this pose was not original but a copy of one from the 1970’s by a photographer who often depicted women as “happy savage[s] pleased to serve.” Not one to be outdone, Kim solidified her place in “art” by upping the ante. She also posed for Paper in a full frontal shot, amid a floor littered with champagne paraphernalia.
23. Picking A Fight
Kim Kardashian is followed around by paparazzi at all times, so they catch the good, the bad, and the ugly. In this case, we see Kim out at an event with her publicist and she is fighting a wedgie. This has happened to the best of us, but we have to wonder if it happens to her all the more since she has a more sizable rump than most. The funny thing is that the public eats it right up. In Touch magazine actually dedicated a whole online article to the Kardashian family’s battle with underwear, complete with the catchphrase, “the bigger the booty the bigger the wedgie!”
22. Beach Bum
Kim Kardashian took this infamous shot of her butt while on vacation in Thailand. People have become desensitized to her bulging rear end, but what caught their attention was that she was having her crew pat sand on her bottom. Talk about the VIP treatment! The shot was meant to look “natural” with her wet skin and dark, wavy hair. However, it was anything butt (pun intended). Her glam squad repeatedly spritzed her down with water and took light readings so that the sand would glow. This is around the time when even her sisters criticized her for taking too many selfies.
21. Sterling Style
Way back 2010, Kim posed for W magazine covered in silver body paint. No one saw much more of her than usual, but it was the styling that made the pics titillating. Initially though, Kim didn’t appreciate this. When she saw the finished product, she literally cried that it looked like “serious p*rn.” She said to her mother, “I feel so f*cking taken advantage of! They promised me I’d be fully covered…I just am never getting naked again.” So much for that, right?
Of course, we have difficulty believing that Kim didn’t have the final say over the published work, and we also believe that her waterworks were for the benefit of the show she was filming at the time–Kourtney and Kim Take New York.
20. Busy Hands
Yes, Kanye West loves big butts and he can’t deny it! Some even say that he moved onto Kim from Amber Rose because he fell for a big butt and a smile. Looking at this shot of him groping her backside, we’re inclined to agree with that statement. However, what looked like an innocent PDA had many fans alarmed. He grabbed onto her on the red carpet, while embracing her in a juicy, wet kiss. It seemed to many that he was wielding his power over her, and taking claim of her like he owned her…and her most profitable and famous asset.
19. Style That Gave Us Whiplash
Kim is a major trendsetter, and one of the biggest ones she promoted recently was showcasing underwear as outerwear. Madonna did it back in the 80’s and 90’s, so this was shocking only to millennials. What had die-hard Kim fans talking, though, was seeing her panty line. That’s because it has long been rumored that Kim eschewed underwear for reasons unknown. Some thought it was for practical purposes, like the fact that it was probably hard for her to find a pair that had enough room for her bulging bottom. Others claimed it was because she was a loose woman. The bottom line, though, is that most stars would end up on the worst dressed list for having panty lines, but Kim made headlines for it. She can’t sing, she can’t dance, and she can’t act but she can rock granny panties like nobody’s business.
18. Plump Rump
Tabloid magazines have alleged that Kim’s backside won’t stop growing. They point to “before and after” pics like these to show how much her butt has changed over time. Most educated people don’t believe that Kim has a glandular problem that only affects her butt. They subscribe to the notion that she has had some sort of enhancement to mold her into the curvy girl she is today. Initially, there were rumors of butt implants, then butt pads. Kim has finally set the record straight and owned up to getting butt injections. Rumors still fly about her size, though. One report indicated that she was up to 55 inches. Considering that she’s 63 inches tall, that is only eight inches less than her height!
17. Tango Unchained
Kim Kardashian joined the cast of Dancing with the Stars in 2008, during its seventh season. She shook her buns like a pair of maracas, but it wasn’t enough. She was the third star to be eliminated. People across the globe were shocked, because she had such a huge following. How could this be? A simple answer is that while the public is fascinated with Kim, they enjoy seeing her fail much more than triumph. Pundits asked if this was the beginning of the end for her career. It’s safe to say that they were wrong. It’s been almost a decade and she’s more popular than ever.
16. Top Secret Versus Bottom Secret
Kim has more than just a great butt. She has a great pair of breasts, too! Like her back side, her front side is swollen and has had the help of a skilled surgeon. But who can blame her? She needs to have symmetry, right? And the bikini is the perfect way for her to show off her second best asset–her chest. This California girl is always frolicking on the sand, lounging on poolsides, or playing with her kids, North and Saint in the surf. Good thing she has some flotation devices to keep her safe!
15. Yoga Pants On Parade
Kim is a fashionista from head to toe, but there are two trends that she is responsible for propagating. The first is the mini-dress, which is still stylish today. The second are the yoga pants. Sure, she wasn’t the first star to rock the look, but she definitely popularized it, particularly when she was caught wearing the active wear around town instead of at the gym. But why wouldn’t she? Yoga pants are the ideal vehicle for her to show off her famous behind. We do have to laugh at this particular shot, though. Kim is walking right next to a dumpster which says a lot to critics of Kim’s.
14. Camera Shy
Even social media queen, Kim Kardashian, gets camera shy sometimes. She’s been photographed more than once hiding her derriere with her hands while being hounded by paparazzos. While her body is often hailed as one of the most desirable in Hollywood, the fact is that she’s struggled with her weight before. It’s true that she was never pin-thin, and having two babies did present some challenges for her. So it’s only fitting that she finds flaws (don’t we all?). It kind of makes her more human though, and that’s why fans are so dedicated to her.
13. Rip Torn
It’s only fitting that Kim has torn a clothing seam or two. In fact, people expect it because her butt is so wide, and her clothes are skin tight. But to see a split seam is entirely another thing because no one thought it would actually get caught on camera. Kim’s entourage makes sure that she is in tip-top shape before she leaves the house, and she often has back-up clothing with her in case of a wardrobe malfunction. But mistakes still happen to the best of us, and this proves that Kim K. is no exception.
12. Fabulous Falsies
Whether or not Kim Kardashian West’s butt is 100% genuine remains a hot topic of discussion (and has been ever since she started appearing in the media). She insists that she is au naturel, while the rest of the world believes that she gets help from a variety of sources, including the infamous butt pads. This picture proves that Kim K has an ace up her sleeve or down her pants, as the case may be! She is clearly wearing butt pads, and an ill-fitting pair at that! Why even bother? She looks plenty bodacious as it is.
11. Bubble Butt
Kim’s weight has ebbed and flowed over the years. Most of it is due to having babies, but we’d be remiss if we didn’t speculate that some of it is due to genes and overeating. Khloe Kardashian is known for being big boned, and Robert Kardashian is currently fighting the battle of the bulge. Part of Kim’s star power is that she capitalizes on her changing body. So she gets press when she gains weight, then she gets more press when she loses the weight and shares her diet and exercise tips. While this ensures she stays in the public’s consciousness, it can’t be good for her rear end. The stretch marks have got to be plentiful.
10. Cellulite Sell-Out
Stars love to be pampered, and Kim is no exception. It’s been reported that she indulges in butt massages. We don’t know if that’s true, but she has cellulite and has been filmed getting a treatment known as VelaShape. It’s known as a “non-invasive body contouring treatment” and is no doubt very pricey.
Kim keeps her cellulite under wraps, but it has been known to peek out occasionally. Take a look at the underside of her legs in this pic from the Grammy Awards.
VelaShape is just one of the many expensive beauty treatments Kim has undergone while filming her various series on E!. She’s also gotten Botox and a vampire facial. While Kim has been widely criticized for the amount of plastic surgery she’s had, we can’t fault her for getting intervention to keep her butt looking firm. It’s her most valuable feature.
9. Million Dollar Derriere
Back in the day, pin-up queen Betty Grable insured her famous legs for $1 million. Today, Kim pulled a similar move and insured her famous bum for $21 million. That’s $10.5 million a cheek, for those of you who aren’t good at math!
And here’s another fun fact. Kim reportedly keeps a tailor on call to make sure she fits into her clothing perfectly. Her waist is a size four, but her butt is a size 10! She reportedly pays the tailor $5,000 a day. Talk about having money to burn!
8. Extra! Extra!
Kim shares her entire life with the world, but when she allowed herself to be photographed getting into a pair of shapewear, it was just too much. Everyone knows she’s a curvy girl that has help from Spanx, but to see it was a different story. She really should have left a little something to the imagination. This shot is especially hair-raising considering she needed help to fit herself into a girdle. We also think we can spot a little dimpling on her legs, which is a nice complement to her muffin top. The juiciest tidbit, though, is that Kim supposedly wears crotchless Spanx so that she can pee without having to get undressed. When you go out as much as she does, it just makes sense.
7. Female Trouble
For some reason, there are a lot of pics of Kim at the gas station. What can we say? At least she isn’t above pumping her own gas (yet)! This one got a lot of attention because it showed her butt sticking out further than her pregnant belly. How many women do you know that can do that?! Kim doesn’t seem to care, though. Most women would want to hide disparities in their body by wearing loose clothing, but Kim is in all her glory in a tank top and miniskirt while pregnant.
Jennifer Lopez used to have the butt to end all butts until Kim Kardashian burst onto the scene and dethroned her. Now, it looks like there’s a new booty in town and it belongs to Blac Chyna. We have to wonder if Kim’s a little jealous, especially considering Blac Chyna is now a bona fide part of the Kardashian clan since she gave birth to Robert Kardashian Jr.’s baby.
5. Straight To Video
Kim made pop culture history in 2007 when a s*x tape was released of her and Ray-J, titled Kim Kardashian, Superstar. It turned out that the title was apt, since she really is the superstar of this generation. The tape was made so long ago, that people have forgotten about the timeline and its circumstances.
It was first filmed in 2002, when the couple was on vacation in Mexico. Back then, Kim was struggling to make a living as singer Brandy’s stylist. Years passed, and she wanted more. Her big break was being filmed on The Simple Life with Paris Hilton, and then being photographed with her. She also went on a date with Nick Lachey after he broke up with Jessica Simpson. Once people had a vague notion of who she was, Ray-J was able to market the tape to Vivid Entertainment.
Kim was up in arms about the whole thing, and her legal team tried to prevent its release. As per legal experts, she technically had to sign off on it before Vivid could mass market it. Kim eventually consented when she learned that her payday would be $5 million. Wouldn’t you? Meanwhile, Keeping Up with the Kardashians had been in the works, and it drew record ratings once it piggybacked on Kim’s naughtiness.
4. Big Business
Kim has more endorsements than major league athletes. She’s been a spokesmodel from Carl’s, Jr., Midori liqueur, TRIA laser hair removal, Skechers shoes, OPI nail polish, QuikTrim diet pills, Shoedazzle.com, and Charmin toilet paper. As if that wasn’t enough, she has her own fragrance, the DASH store, and the Kardashian Kollection at Sears. Kim also gets paid thousands of dollars to make appearances at nightclubs like 1OAK, and opening of clothing stores like Topshop L.A. These deals show that Kim has become more than a butt. She’s a business woman, too.
According to the NY Daily News, Kim is the queen of selfies. She takes them upstairs and downstairs and in her nightgown. She takes them with and without makeup. Heck, she even takes them naked. But if you think that her selfies are off-the-cuff, you’d be mistaken. Kim always has the best lighting, the best styling, and the most Photoshopping. We know that she slaves away to get the best shots, yet we can’t help buying into her gimmick that she’s naturally photogenic. She has mastered the art of smoke and mirrors.
2. Back That Thang Up
International prankster Vitalii Sediuk tried to make Kim the butt of his joke when he approached her at Paris Fashion Week. We’re not exactly sure what he was trying to do. It looked like he was going to smooch her butt or at least give it a good squeeze. But in the end, Kim just marched past him.
According to Vitalii, “I was protesting Kim for using fake butt implants. I encourage her and the rest of Kardashian clan to popularise natural beauty among teenage girls who follow and defend them blindly.” Such lofty ideals.
1. Photoshop Finale
We all know that Kim is the queen of Photoshop. While most starlets are content to just have their magazine pictorials airbrushed, Kim goes the extra mile. She edits her selfies, and travels with her own paparazzi to ensure that the “candid” pics of her that get published have had the once-over. In this mash-up, we can see the differences immediately. Her waist is smaller, her nose is more pert, and even her dress is wrinkle-free. Not surprisingly, she also retouched her butt to make it even more plump.