Hooking up with a woman shouldn’t be very hard to do. But with that said, there are all sorts of guys who don’t seem to have any ability to do it at all, and by that, I mean that they’re awful at it. You probably have seen a variety of articles and lists out there that have told you what you need to do if you want to pick up a woman, but this article is a little different. It isn’t so much about what you should do, but what you shouldn’t do because pretty much any one of the things I’m going to bring up will pretty much kill your game, every single time.
Of course, it’s possible that you’re so good looking, so rich, or so charming that you don’t need to work on your game at all. You can just go to the club or wherever else that you might feel like hanging out and there are women there just hanging all over you. If that’s the case, then I have two things to say to you: first of all, good for you, and secondly, why the heck are you reading this article? Why aren’t you in Miami making out with a model or something?
To get back to the point, if you’re doing one or two of these things, just stop. It hurts your game. If you’re doing 3 or more? Yeah, you aren’t hooking up anytime soon.
These are the 15 Biggest Mistakes Guys Make When They’re Trying to Hook Up:
15. Grinding on the Dance Floor
This is something that’s done by only the truly clueless among us. We’ve all been there — you’re hanging out and chilling at a club, and, all of a sudden, you see this super hot chick on the dance floor. You want to go up to her and show her your moves, and the floor is crowded, so you go up and start dancing around her, maybe grinding up against her now and then. So, let’s just stop right there, shall we? Whatever is going on in your head about how much you think this woman is into you, I’m just going to come right out and tell you the truth: she doesn’t want you to do that to her. As a matter of fact, if you do that to her, you’ll probably get thrown out by the bouncer and be humiliated. So, don’t do it.
14. Drunk Texting
Dudes, I know you like your phone, maybe even as much as some of the women out there do, but when you’ve had a certain amount to drink, then you probably should just put that thing away. You might think that you’re being totally charming and cool and that what you’re saying is funny, but wait until you see what you wrote the next day. If you’re lucky, you’ll actually remember that you ended up texting her at all, but more likely, you’ll just be randomly looking at your phone when, all of a sudden, you realize that you’ve made a huge fool of yourself. You can trust me on this one — there’s no hot woman out there right now who’s sitting around hoping that she gets a text from you when you’re hammered. Lock that phone up.
13. The Booty Call
You may think that booty calls and drunk texting are pretty much the same thing, but they’re vastly different, although equally lame. Drunk texting is usually when you write something like” You’re so hot” or “I miss you.” The booty call is when you actually text a woman, call a woman, or, in some extreme cases, even show up at her door after a night of hardcore partying because you want to hook up. Now, if you find a truly desperate woman, then maybe, quite possibly, this might work, but it’s very unlikely. What’s far more likely is that she’ll put you on blast to everyone about what a loser you are and may even possibly call the cops on you. I doubt that you want either of those things to happen.
12. Trying to Hook Up With Someone Out of Your League
I totally get that you want to hang out with a really hot chick — pretty much everyone does when it comes right down to it. But do you want to spend your nights chasing after someone who’s probably not going to pay any attention to you at all? For crying out loud, try and stay within your league. Unless you’re as famous as Justin Bieber or are as wealthy as Hugh Hefner, then you’re probably not going to hook up with someone really hot. With all that said, maybe you’re in a major league by yourself and you don’t have any problem getting a woman who’s totally hot. Hey man, that’s cool, but once again, that’s my point: stay within your league. If you’re AA, don’t go trying to date an all star.
11. Looking Too Thirsty
Try not to be too desperate. Believe me: women can smell that a mile away. There’s long been a thought that many women like married guys or guys who have long-term girlfriends. That isn’t really true. What women like are guys who are confident and don’t act too thirsty around them, and guys who are married and have long-term girlfriends are going to act way more cool around a hot woman than some guy who hasn’t hooked up in six months. I know it isn’t easy to try and act cool when you’re sitting there just about losing your mind about how much you want to go home with a woman, but for the love of all that’s holy, if you can’t be cool around the whole thing, at least try and figure out how to pretend you can.
10. Being a Creeper on Social Media
Somehow, there are a lot of guys out there who think that women are just sitting around waiting for some random guy to message them on social media and say how hot they are. Here’s a pro tip: picking up a woman this way pretty much never works, unless, of course, she’s totally and entirely insane. In all seriousness, women pretty much never — and I do mean never — think it’s totally hot when some random guy messages them on social media and tells them how smoking hot they are. You might as well be wearing a sign around your neck that says “I’m creepy and have absolutely no luck meeting women.” Is that really the sign that you want to wear around your neck? I mean, is it really? I didn’t think so.
9. Complimenting Women Too Much
Yeah, I know this one probably doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to those of you who aren’t that good with the ladies, but those of you know what you’re doing have a pretty good idea of what I’m talking about. Women like to be complicated — this is true without a doubt. But women don’t like to be manipulated. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to be able to manipulate women without having them have any idea that that’s actually what you’re doing. If you just tell her how hot she is, how nice her body is, how funny she is and just go on and on about that kind of thing, she’s going to be able to sniff you out as the desperate loser that you are. Don’t let that happen. Play it smart.
8. Being Hammered
For those of you who tend to be booze bags, I know this one is kind of difficult. There are a lot of people out there who have no ability to actually hit on or chat up women if they’re not totally hammered. So, this creates a bit of a problem. If you’re this kind of person — and for your sake, let’s hope that you’re not — if you don’t get drunk, then you’re not going to have the courage to approach a woman. And if you do get drunk, then you’re going to be a big sloppy mess and totally turn the woman off, unless, of course, she also happens to be a big sloppy mess, and in that case, you may actually score. That’s the positive part, but the negative part is that the two of you are probably just going back to her place and pass out, then you can go back to being an awkward coward in the morning again when you’re sober.
7. Trying Too Hard to Impress
If there’s one thing that a woman can smell a mile away, it’s a guy who’s trying way too hard to impress her. Cool is the kind of thing that really can’t be defined; you either have it, or you don’t. Now, that’s not to say that you can’t hook up with a woman if you’re not cool. In fact, there are a lot of women who like a guy who’s a bit of a nerd or who don’t put on a lot of airs or play games. My point is not that women only like cool guys; my point is that if you’re not cool, don’t pretend to be. A lot of women don’t like a guy who pretends to be Justin Bieber. As a matter of fact, a lot of women don’t like a guy who acts like Justin Bieber. And you know why? Because he tries way too hard. Don’t be like Justin Bieber.
6. Hitting on Strippers, or Even Worse, Bartenders
Okay, first of all, no one is judging you if you go to strip clubs. Well, I have to say at least I’m not, but if you do go, please don’t be that guy who thinks he’s going to hook up with one of the dancers. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, these women are doing a job. They aren’t into you, and in fact, they probably wouldn’t even consider dating you simply because you’re there. This also goes for your female bartender when you go out somewhere. She’s not into you. She’s not even slightly into you. She’s being nice to you because she wants you to tip well, unless, of course, you’re a regular. Then, you might actually have a shot. I’m talking about being a regular at a bar; if you’re a regular at the strip club, that’s even worse.
5. Asking Her Way Too Many Questions
This might seem a little odd at first. I can hear you already: “But hey, Leon, I thought that showing interest in a woman was a good thing.” Well yeah, it is, up to a certain point anyway. But you don’t want to be that guy who’s just peppering her with questions the whole time about where she’s from, where she lives now, where she went to college, what she does for work, when was her last relationship, what are her views on politics, and on and on and on. You get the point. Well, at least you should. If you don’t, then you’re probably going to not hook up for a long time. The point is that she wants to feel like you’re getting to know her, not like you’re Regis Philbin on Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
4. Being a Coward
I know that throughout this whole post, I’ve talked a lot about how one shouldn’t be too aggressive or cocky, and that’s true. But one also doesn’t want to appear to be a total coward. I know this is a fine line to walk and might seem confusing, but it really isn’t. A woman isn’t going to react well if you roll up to them like The Situation from Jersey Shore, but they also aren’t going to react well to you if you don’t show any confidence in yourself at all. The key is to be right in the middle. You know that you’re a good catch, and this chick would be lucky to hook up with you, so why would you have to act all super cocky about everything? The key is to just act like yourself and be comfortable with who you are. If you are, she’ll notice.
3. Being Too Honest About Who You Are
Alright, so let me be clear about something: this piece is about hooking up, not finding a wife. So, in the interest of hooking up, you basically want to like what she likes. If she’s an English major, then you love to read. If she loves Bernie Sanders, then you do, too. If she hates Tom Brady, then you always thought of him as a bit of a jerk as well. This is not so much lying, although it is. The point of it is to just mirror what she says so she thinks that a night with you is going to be fun and also will not be too much of a hassle. If you’re going to go to all of the trouble to hit on a woman, you might as well go to the trouble to blow a little smoke and convince her that you two are compatible.
2. Not Being Able to Charm Her Friends
A lot of guys won’t even try to hook up with a woman if she’s surrounded by a bunch of her friends. I’m here to tell you that’s a big mistake — at least if you have game. If you don’t, then yeah, don’t even try. If you do have some game, though, it’s easy to turn it to your advantage. All you have to do is be charming and funny and joke around with not just the woman that you want but also all of the different women in the group. If you can charm her pals, it’s going to have an effect in a couple different ways. For one, it’s going to make the one you want think you’re charming because all of her friends like you, and also, it’ll make her go after you before one of her friends snags you for herself. It’s a tricky game to play, but if you can do it, you’re golden.
1. Having No Ability to Talk to Women Like People
This one might seem like a no-brainer. Of course, if you can’t talk to women, then you aren’t going to be able to hook up with them, but what I’m saying goes a bit deeper than that. This might be hard to believe, but women want to be talked to pretty much the same way that you would talk to anyone else. They can tell when you’re trying too hard, they can tell when you’re awkward and scared, and some of them can even tell when you’re lying, although I have to admit that with a little practice, you can fool pretty much all of them. Women really just want to think a guy is talking to them because you’re actually enjoying it and because you find them interesting. And if you don’t find them interesting, just learn how to fake it.
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