Women like to present themselves as honest. While sometimes you might find a guy that admits that he is a liar and a manipulator, you rarely find that is something that women do. They act like they are as pure as the driven snow, and that when they are talking to men, they are honest all the time.
Well I am here to tell you that simply is not true. Women lie to guys, and they do so all the time. They do it so often in fact that they probably do not even know that they are lying all the time. There is the type of lie that a guy might tell like “I was at my friends all night” when really you were at the strip club. Women don’t lie like that; they are way too complicated. The type of lie that they usually say is something like “I am not mad” when in reality they are plotting 100 different ways to murder you and cover up their tracks. You might know when they are lying, but if you are with a typical women, you probably have no idea. They are good like that.
So to help you out, we at The Richest have devised this handy article, so you can refer to it whenever you think that the woman in your life is lying. The only problem is, after you read this you are going to realize that she lies pretty much all the time. Don’t tell her that though. She will just get mad. But you knew that.
15. I’ve Only Done it with (Insert Fake Number Here) Guys
This one should be obvious to you, but who knows? A woman basically always lies about her number. She wants to appear like she has had a little bit of experience, but not too much. After one has been around for awhile, you start to figure out the code. For example if she tells you that she has been with one guy, you know that she has been with three. If she tells you that she has been with 3 then you know she has been with 7, and if she tells you that she has been with 7, you know she has been with 10. And if for some reason she tells you that she has been with 10 or more, the odds are that she went out with the entire football team in high school and has been making her living the past few years as a “dancer.”
14. I Never Do Things Like This
This one is like total opposite day when a woman says this. Okay, I suppose it is slightly possible that when a woman says that she “never does this” it actually means that she has not. But for the most part when a woman says this what she is really saying is “I do this kind of thing all the time, but I don’t want you to know that.” This is almost always said when a woman is doing something totally bizarre, horrible, or partying like crazy. Of course if you are hanging out with a woman that does acts any of the above ways then maybe you should run for the hills anyway, but who am I to judge. I am not telling you to break up with your girlfriend, that part is up to you; I am just telling you that she is a liar.
13. I Will Be Ready Soon
Okay so out of all the lies on here, this one is probably the least harmful. I mean the worst that could happen is that you spend a little more time on the couch watching Russell Westbrook be awesome and eating some Oreos. But still, the point of this article is how women lie, and this one is a big one. A lie is not always something with bad intentions, sometimes it is just used to manipulate you. And that is what is happening here. She knows she is not even slightly close to being ready, but if she gives you this line a few times it will keep you calm while she spends another two hours playing around in the bathroom and trying on 7 different outfits and showing them to you. Then you choose to lie and tell her she looks awesome in one just to get her out the door.
12. I’m Not Drunk
Guys will usually tell you when they are hammered, or at the least they don’t pretend that they are straight when they are drunk. Women tend to be quite a bit different. They will be so drunk they are stumbling around, and slurring like crazy, and they will often still insist that they are not drunk at all. They usually even keep doing this until they either fall over, slap someone or pass out cold. It is hard to figure out why a lot of women always lie about something that is so obvious, but I think that is what I am trying so say here. Guys tend to lie about things that they have done, while women tend to lie about who they are. You might think this sounds bad, but hey, ladies, the truth hurts sometimes. And you are totally hammered.
11. Nothing is Wrong
Let’s start off with an easy one shall we? If you have ever been in any sort of relationship with a chick then you know this one. She is trolling all around the apartment, sighing and giving you the stink eye, and keeps doing so until you think your head is going to explode. So finally you are like “Hey babe, what is wrong”? You’re thinking you are dealing with a normal human being and all, and she answers “Nothing.” This is the exact thing I am talking about. Women call guys out all the time for lying, and act like they are totally honest, and what is this if not an outright lie? I had a girlfriend once who told me that nothing was wrong for years, even though she was pretty much totally aggro the entire time.
10. I’m Not Mad
Okay some of these are more innocent than others. This one is just plain old scary when it comes to certain women. As soon as a woman says this it is time to run for the hills. Of course it is possible a woman is not mad; that is not the point. But as soon as a woman feels the need to tell you she is not mad? That means she is super angry. It is time to sneak out the back door and check into the local Motel 6 for a couple days. Or even better check into a Motel 6 that is a few states over, and maybe even grow a beard. After a while it might be safe to come back, but only after she admits she actually is mad. That part is easy, but when she is mad and pretending that she is not? That is like something out of a horror movie.
9. My Phone is Dying
This is one of the rare lies on this list that guys do too. I mean we probably have all done this once or twice. Sometimes people just wont leave you alone. But chicks don’t just do this sometimes, they do it a lot. They don’t just do it to guys they are dating either. They also do it to other women. Basically pretty much any time a woman tells you that her phone is dying it means they are tired of the conversation. So why don’t they just say they don’t want to talk anymore? Well if you have to ask that question you are missing the point. Women lie, and they lie a lot. Most of them would much rather tell a lie to get out of talking to you anymore than just tell you that they are tired and will talk to you in the morning.
8. Sorry, it is My Time of the Month
Yeah, I hate to tell you, but it is true, they even lie about this. Of course some of the time they are not lying, and just passing along information, but quite often they are not telling you the truth about this. Why? Because they don’t want to do it with you, that’s why. This is another huge example of the way that women lie as opposed to guys. If a guy is not attracted to a woman, he doesn’t even get involved, but a woman will talk to you all night, and then just drop this bomb on you right when you think you might be getting lucky. They do this kind of thing for one reason, and one reason only, because it is way simpler for them to lie to you then to tell you the truth. Which is of course, she doesn’t want to do it with you. Not even a little bit.
7. That Felt So Good
Now with time, you are not going to need someone like me to explain this to you, and maybe you already don’t. If so, congrats. But the thing is, you should be able to tell when your lady is having a good time, and if you can’t tell, here is a tip, don’t ask her if she did. Why? Because she is going to totally lie to you. I mean maybe that is what you want, maybe you want her to tell you how awesome you are, even though she does not mean it. But either way, women lie about this all the time. They are not going to say that you were awful and they could not wait until it was over. Actually, now that I think of it, for a lot of you guys out there this might be the one lie that you would prefer that a woman keep telling you.
6. We Were Just Bar Hopping
Most of these lies are totally specific to women, but here is one that guys use all the time too. So I guess my point is, if you use this one all the time, why can’t you recognize it? The key to this is the lack of specifics. Like if I went out last night and someone asked me where I went, I would tell them the specific names of the places I hung out at. Unless of course the places I hung out were too bad to mention. If a chick tells you that she was just bar hopping, it basically means that she went to a bunch of bars, went to a couple clubs and danced with some dudes, and maybe even hung out at some random apartment later on. Basically she is saying “I didn’t cheat on you, but I did a lot of things, that would bum you out.”
5. I Don’t Get Jealous
Oh really? This is yet another type of lie that is specific only to women, for the most part anyway. A guy won’t usually mind telling a women that he is jealous, but a woman will hardly ever admit it. Usually when a woman tells you that she is not jealous, what she really is saying is “If I ever see her around you again I am going to kill both of you.” This lie is designed to show you just how confident she is. See? She doesn’t get jealous, she knows how hot she is and how faithful to her you are. But the thing is, she does get jealous, she doesn’t think she is all that hot, and she is convinced that you are banging someone behind her back. But is she going to tell you that? No way. That would be way too easy.
4. I Promise I Won’t Get Mad
While this might seem really similar to another one in this list where a woman actually lies about being mad, the two things are actually totally different. This lie is not about actually being mad, it is more designed to get you to tell her something. An example would be “Did you used to go out with her? I promise I won’t get mad.” Or another one might be “Did you blow all the money we were going to pay our electric bill with betting on football? I promise I won’t get mad.” The thing of this of course is that she is, in actuality, going to get super mad as soon as you tell her the truth. But she knows she needs to lie to you, to get the information she wants. Most women would make really good secret agents when it comes right down to it.
3. I Didn’t Expect Anything From You Anyway
This lie is always said right after you totally let a woman down, and she is trying to let you know that she never cared, even though she totally did. I know, woman are odd right? Instead of saying something like “Oh my God, why did you do this to me? You ruined my life,” a woman will often lie and say “Oh it’s’ cool, I never expected anything from you anyway.” Usually after a woman says something like this she then spends the next month in bed crying her eyes out, and eating a ton of ice cream. While some women will tell you the truth about what they really feel, the vast majority would always lie rather than give you a true look into what they feel. Oh yeah, and they will also blame you for being that way too.
2. He is Just a Friend
Yeah, don’t buy this one. And I mean ever. It is almost impossible for it to be true. That does not mean that women and men can not hang out as friends, of course they can, but there is always something lurking underneath the surface. Either they have banged in the past, one of them wants to bang each other and doesn’t dare to talk about it, or the guy fills some emotional need for her that you don’t. Get my point? The guy is never just a friend. Not ever. Once again, that does not mean that there is anything wrong with them hanging out necessarily, but what it does mean is that she is hiding the nature of their true relationship. And how is she doing that? By lying of course; she does it all the time.
1. I Am Usually Not This Crazy
Oh yeah you are. In fact you are totally crazy, and you act like that all the time. Women will always act totally nuts and then tell you that they never act like that normally, but they do. In fact, the reason that you are lying and saying that you are usually not this crazy, is that you don’t want the guy you like to know that you are a certifiable nut job. And you know what? If you are hot enough then it just might work. That is kind of the thing that really plays into the whole lying thing when you are a chick. If you are hot enough you can lie all that you want and guys are going to want to believe it. Even if you are totally crazy. So hey don’t lie about it anymore, just tell us guys how crazy you are. If you are hot it won’t matter.