In America, as in much of the rest of the world, for that matter, sex sells. For the most part, the American people in the 21st century have no problem living in a highly sexualized society. That goes double for that segment of our society that watches the most TV, attends the most sporting events (another part of our culture that will always make money), and buys the most stuff. I’m talking, of course, about that most highly coveted demographic of advertising ever, men aged 20-50. These are the guys that drive the existence of pro sports and in turn drive the existence of commercials in pro sports. So it should come as no shock, then, that a hell of a lot of ads during sporting events focus on hot women and sexuality.
When it comes to the Super Bowl, then, all bets are off. It has been, after all, the single biggest sporting event of the year, every year, for the last half a century. It’s no coincidence that the rise of commercialism has come at the same time as the rise of the NFL as the dominant spectator sport in our country (sorry hockey and Game of Thrones fans but you guys are marginal compared to football). So what happens when you put the biggest game on the biggest stage with the most expensive and highly anticipated commercials of the year? Why you get the hottest celebrity, quasi-celebrity, and wanna-be celebrities out there strutting their stuff and selling their souls (well, OK, selling their bods) for the almighty football dollar. Here are 15 of the hottest chicks to ever appear in Super Bowl commercials.
15. Cindy Crawford – Pepsi
We might as well start things off right, with one of the most famous and hottest Super Bowl ads of all time, Cindy Crawford’s Pepsi spot. Way back in the Dark Ages of TV; well, OK, it was only 1992- not that long ago- Cindy Crawford was a really big deal. The supermodel was world-famous for the mole above her left lip, her magazine covers and, of course, her bangin’ body. She was even one of the five OG supermodels- that’s how big and hot she was. In fact, the commercial is such a classic that Crawford and James Corden (of The Late Late Show fame) did a parody of it just last year following the big game. And yes, at 50-years-old, Crawford still looked awesome.
In interviews these days (it’s the 25th anniversary of the spot, after all), Cindy likes to talk about how the ad is all about people bonding together and about how, when she guzzles that Pepsi down, everyone is staring at the can, not her. Sure Cindy- you just keep believing that while we guys enjoy the commercial one more time.
14. Kate Upton- Carl’s Jr.
What could be hotter than seeing Kate Upton’s Super Bowl ad for Game of War in 2015, you ask? How about Upton’s 2012 ad for Carl’s Jr. This one definitely takes the cake (or burger, if you will), especially since it was so hot that it was actually banned from airing. That’s right, one of the hottest Super Bowl commercials of all time never got to air during the game! Don’t worry though guys, you can see it right here. We wouldn’t leave you hanging like that. Upton is one of the hottest ladies on this or any other planet, known wherever there are red-blooded men for her curves, her sexy smile and her appearances in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue wearing very little. I’m not a huge fan of “Southwest” cuisine or spicy, jalapeno-riddled burgers, but after seeing Upton eat one I may have to change my mind. Or at the least watch the commercial again. It’s research after all, right?
13. Charlotte McKinney – Carl’s Jr.
So I just asked all of you gentle readers what could be hotter than a certain Kate Upton ad for a videogame, right? And I basically said only another Kate Upton ad would do the trick, correct? Well guess what? I lied. It seems Carl’s Jr. (I’m really beginning to like this fast food chain) has a thing for creating awesome Super Bowl ads that are too hot to air during the game. A case in point would be the burger chain’s 2015 spot starring Guess model Charlotte McKinney. This one might actually be hotter than Upton’s, which is probably why it was also banned. Once again, never fear, though- Carl’s Jr. knows perfectly well what they’re doing and how to sell sex, red meat and satisfaction to us guys; all we need is a naked-seeming hot chick in a farmer’s market talking about “All-Natural Beef” and we’re hooked. You can watch the full ad here and join the over 12 million YouTube viewers who clicked on it during that 2015 Super Bowl. Don’t say I never gave you anything.
12. Scarlett Johansson – SodaStream
Everyone loves Scarlett Johansson and with good reason. The superstar actress has brought Black Widow to life in a way no one could ever have imagined in the Avengers franchise as well as proven her acting chops in “serious” films like Girl with a Pearl Earring and Lost in Translation. But forget the MCU and Oscars for a minute; an actress hasn’t really made it until she stars in a hot Super Bowl commercial, am I right? Enter SodaStream, some weird Israeli soda company nobody had ever heard of. That is, until their 2014 Super Bowl spot. The company put our girl Scarlett in a smokin’ black dress sipping ever so sexily on a soda and we can’t stop seeing it. When you add in Johansson’s sultry “smoke and bourbon” voice and some slow jam music you’ve got more than a little fizz going on, if you know what I mean. Bravo Scarlett, bravo.
11. Gal Gadot – Wix
OK, OK, so this whole ad campaign hasn’t aired yet but calm down- the big game is less than two weeks away, after all. I’m sure you can make it that long to see what Wix has in store for you next. Wix apparently is some kind of website building company and they are out to make a splash at this year’s Super Bowl. One easy way to do that is to appeal to all 150 million of us Fanboys out there with a spot that stars Gal Gadot taking names and kicking ass. In case you’ve been hiding out in your Y2K bunker (anyone remember when that was a thing?), Gal is the new Wonder Woman and she is awesome. She was easily the best part of Batman v Superman (easily!) and now is the hottest chick in commercials. I for one can’t wait to see this whole ad campaign, even if I’ve already forgotten what Wex (excuse me, Wix) is. Oh yeah, I forgot- Jason Statham is in these spots too…
10. Emily Ratajkowski – Buick
The ever-fine Emily Ratajkowski, she of the masterful near-naked selfie, rose to fame because of her role in a music video- Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines,” to be precise. Apparently Emily now regrets ever participating in that video, calling it the “bane of her existence” (tell us how you really feel, Emily!) but I don’t think she’s got much to worry about in her Buick commercial from last year’s Super Bowl XL. In the commercial, the multiple Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue model- is that a requirement for being in one of these ads? – pulls off an Odell Beckham Jr. style one-handed catch of a wedding bouquet. Wearing heels and a short dress, no less. It’s OK, guys, if you need to stop reading for a while and go check Emily out in super slo-mo. You know, just to see if she was in bounds or not.
9. Danica Patrick – Godaddy
GoDaddy is the original grand daddy of pointless but sexy Super Bowl commercials and they sure knew what they were doing when they hired NASCAR driver Danica Patrick to be their spokeslady. The domain hosting service; and I guarantee that’s something that’s nowhere near as interesting as their commercials would make you think, has featured the hottest lady racecar driver out there for years, starting way back in 2009. There are so many Danica Patrick ads for the big game, both aired and banned (i.e. online), that’s it’s hard to pick a favorite. But if you like your ladies fit, brunette, curvy and just a bit dangerous, you can’t go wrong with Danica’s “Shower” spot from 2009. Although the 2010 Flashdance tribute is pretty good too. Sadly, Danica and GoDaddy have parted ways but we’ll always have our memories. Just don’t challenge Danica to an arm-wrestling match; did you see those biceps!??!
8. Misty May-Treanor & Kerri Walsh – Visa
Let’s face it- every guy out there who’s not dead or blind watches women’s beach volleyball for the women. Sure, the game itself can actually be pretty exciting but what’s way more exciting is watching super fit, super-hot chicks from all over the world run around in tiny bikinis. So it’s no surprise then, that somebody would eventually hire the two hottest, most famous women’s volleyballers of all time- Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh. That somebody just happened to be Visa, who in 2004 were smart enough to simply film the multiple Olympic gold medal winning duo- I think they’ve won all of them- do what they do best. Which is, of course, run around half-naked playing beach volleyball. The best part is that the whole premise of the ad had the two playing in the winter- pretty funny! Mission accomplished, Visa. Mission accomplished.
7. Kim Kardashian – Skechers
I promise you guys, I tried really, really hard not to include anything remotely resembling a Kardashian appearance in this article but… I just couldn’t do it. As in all things Kardashian, we failed and they won. This time it’s Kim’s 2011 Super Bowl ad for Skechers that does the trick. Now granted, Kim is a terrible, terrible actress and this ad proves it. Her lines come across as wooden and boring even as she’s trying to be sultry, funny and a bit mysterious. She’s much better at being herself in front of the cameras than even playing herself. Therein lies the rub- as with many of my conflicted thoughts about Kim, I don’t know if that’s a compliment or not. But damn! That body sure is on full display. We get to see Kim on the floor, Kim strutting across the floor and, of course, some gratuitous shots of Kim’s best, ahem, assets.
6. Adriana Lima – Teleflora
Some hot chicks are here to be swimsuit models. Some are put on this earth to walk the runway. But Adriana Lima just might be the queen of the hot Super Bowl commercial, as evinced by the fact that she has appeared in spots for Kia, Victoria’s Secret and more. But her hottest appearance on Super Sunday just might be the one she did for Teleflora in 2012. In the spot Adriana lets us see her get dressed- from hose and garters all the way up to a silky, sexy black dress. The ad only gets better when the Brazilian supermodel starts talking. What an accent! If Adriana tells you to order flowers, you better order flowers. Just make sure you send them to the right person. The longest-tenured Victoria’s Secret Angel and spokeslady for Maybelline probably doesn’t need any roses from the likes of you, buddy.
5. Britney Spears – Pepsi
There was a time when Britney Spears was neither a human train wreck a la Lindsay Lohan nor an almost middle-aged, wanna-be comeback queen. Instead she was just about the hottest damn woman on the planet. If you don’t believe me then you haven’t seen her Super Bowl ad for Pepsi from 2001. This of course was back in the day when both Spears and Pepsi mattered to anyone. And oh, what a pair they were! Hey, get your minds out of the gutter; I’m talking about the pairing of Britney and soda not, umm, other things… Anyway, nothing goes with bubblegum pop like sugary soda, something abundantly clear in this ad. Britney’s purple top/black leather bottom in the last part of the commercial just kills me- I think I’ll go dump a Pepsi over myself just to cool down. There’s like three costume changes in this 90 second spot and it supposedly cost over $8 million to make- Britney got the $8 mil, her backup dancers got the “just over’ part. Or so I assume.
4. Catfight – Miller Lite
There was no way we were going to get through a list of sexy football commercials without some good old-fashioned beer selling, now was there? The beer companies basically own the NFL and vice versa so it will come as no surprise that Bud, Bud Light, MGD, Miller Light, Coors and Coors Light are constantly throwing out the same 60 second spots of hot chicks doing hot chick stuff while drinking a cold one. In the case of the infamous Miller Lite ad that aired in 2002, we got to see two smoking hot ladies get in a “Tastes Great, Less Filling” catfight over the brew- including in a public fountain. The full, uncensored version is here. The models’ names are actually Kitana Baker and Tanya Ballinger, just in case you guys were wondering. They have reprised their infamous role more than once for other companies, if anyone’s interested. Hey wait, where did you all go???
3. Twins – Coors Light
Continuing in the hot chicks and beer vein, Coors Light had their own entry for 2002’s big game. Anyone remember that terrible “Here’s to Football” song? You know the one- “I love football, hanging with my friends and twins.” Or something like that anyway. All anyone really remembers is those twins in the spots. And why not, they were pretty hot. And twins, in case you forgot. The twins in question are actually the Klimaszewski Twins and are also famous (sort of) for being WCW Nitro Girls (remember that???). They have parodied their most famous achievement in more than one venue, most notable in Scary Movie 3. But all that really matters is that they are both total smoke shows and sold a lot of beer for Coors.
2. Megan Fox- Motorola
Who doesn’t love them some Megan Fox? The outspoken former star of the Transformers franchise (and when I say “outspoken” I mean insane- check out her comments comparing director Michael Bay to Hitler) has made quite a name for herself doing the whole naughty girl-next-door routine. She pretty much does it in all of her movies. Her 2012 Super Bowl commercial for Motorola- and by the way, where the hell did they go? – was super-hot simply because it was Megan Fox. Naked. In a bathtub. The best part of the whole conceit of the spot has got to be the two gay guys slapping each other for “cheating” on the other with Megan. Yes, she’s that hot. Even when she’s covered up with bubbles. Maybe especially when she’s covered up with bubbles…
1. Hot “Veggie” Chicks- PETA
This ultra-sexy commercial, yet another one that was rejected by censors, this time at NBC (who aired the big game in 2009), has to be at the top of my list because it features not one, not two, not even three, but four hot chicks doing extremely naughty things with vegetables (or to vegetables- I’m not really sure but I also don’t really care). The ad was made by PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and aimed to stir the pot, as it were, by making people aware that meat-eaters suffer from more impotency and “performance issues” than vegans and vegetarians do.
What the commercial really did was make me gasp in amazement that they even tried to show it on air- I mean, after all, the Super Bowl is a family show. Don’t get me wrong- models Amanda, Niki, Berenice, and Cassie are incredibly hot grinding on broccoli and pumpkins in extremely suggestive (OK, outright lewd) positions. But I can’t imagine how PETA thought this would ever air on network TV. Fortunately, we have the Internet, which remembers and keeps a record of everything that’s ever happened. Even (especially?) this.