If there is one thing that Russell Brand is known for, it is his appetite for women. He is said to have slept with more than 1,00o women, and at one point checked himself into rehab for addiction. Why did he go to rehab? Well, he said, “At one point I had a harem of about ten women, whom I would rotate – in addition to one-night stands and random casual encounters. But shagging – incessant as it was – no longer seemed to have the required calming effect. As my sexual appetite grew, I found myself engaged in an increasingly desperate quest to satisfy it. I became so open to suggestion that when someone asked me if I’d like to go to a [party], I didn’t think twice before accepting the invitation.”
Oh boo hoo, Russell, cry us a river. It is like your worst problem is every other guy’s best day ever. At one point, Russell even said he was giving up the deed because he wanted to understand feminism. Well, he obviously did not want to understand it all that badly, as he is now right back in the saddle, and is engaged to Laura Gallacher, who apparently could not care less that Russell has slept with 1,000 women other than her.
The thing is, if you are that famous and you have done the deed with 1,000 women, the odds are that some of them were pretty hot. Let’s take a look shall we? Here are the hottest 15 (out of roughly 1000) women that Russell Brand has slept with.
15. Jemima Khan
Jemima is a very wealthy woman, who is the editor of the European Vanity Fair. She also is a philanthropist and her wealth is estimated at around $300 million . She was a close friend of Princess Diana’s, and also dated Hugh Grant for a while. So, from all that you have read, she sounds like a perfect match for Russell Brand, right? I mean who would not want to hang out with a partying comedian that had sex with 1,000 women before you? Not Jemima apparently- she and Brand dated for quite a while and there was even talk that the two would become engaged. Apparently either Brand moved on to something else, or Jemima came to her senses, because the two broke up before that happened.
14. Kate Moss
At one point there was probably not a single woman in the world that was considered hotter than Kate Moss. And who was she shagging back then? Well, none other than Russell Brand, of course. This was way back in 2006, and Brand was even using a bunch of drugs at the time. Kate was on the rebound from another relationship with Pete Doherty, who himself had a bit of a bad problem with drugs, and somehow Russell seemed like a good idea. He wasn’t, of course, and in fact there was a bit of bad blood between the two as Brand ended up telling the tabloids about the whole thing, which understandably angered Kate a bit. She is now married to musician Jamie Hince. I imagine that Russell does not come up much around the dinner table.
13. Geri Halliwell
Alright, so I have to admit, I always thought that Geri Halliwell was the hottest Spice Girl. Of course some of the others may have been a tad more traditionally gorgeous, but Geri , also known as Ginger Spice, always had that little extra something that made her look like she would be a lot of fun, if you know what I mean by that. Apparently, so did Russell Brand, or maybe he tried to bang all of them but did not have any luck. He and Geri hit it off at the Olympics and got into each other rather quickly. The whole thing lasted all of two weeks, which is about 13 days longer than I would have imagined that it would have lasted. Well, Geri, at least you get to be on lists like this one. I imagine your mom is really proud of you for that.
12. Becki Seddiki
To give you a sense of how different the U.K is from the United States, Russell Brand actually hosts a version of Big Brother in England. Can you imagine him doing that in the USA? Me neither. And what did he do other than hosting the show? Well he ended up having sex with a lot of the contestants, of course. One of those is Becki Seddiki who said of Brand “He fizzes with sexual energy and he’s a very masculine man. Coupled with his self-confidence, his personal success, and his sense of humour, women don’t stand a chance. It’s like being under attack.” Yeah, yeah Becki we get it. Maybe you should have said “Umm, I really don’t know why I slept with him, but I feel kind of dumb about it now.”
11. Georgina Baillie
Georgina is next on the list, and there is no doubt that she belongs on it for her beauty. Russell Brand is one lucky man, there is no doubt about that. Although Georgina is not that lucky of a woman. First of all, at one point Brand left bizarre messages about how he was having sex with her on her grandfather’s answering machine because he was “obsessed” with grandpa (he was Manuel in Fawlty Towers). According to her, Brand was also not so great in the sack, as she said, “I’m not going to go into detail about what happened there although I’m obviously no shrinking violet. I will only say he’s a disappointment in the bedroom considering he has had so much practice”. Brand offered a public apology for the bizarre incident, which is rather creepy and lame anyway you look at it.
10. Sophie Coady
There are a lot of women that have had sex with Russell Brand, but only a few of them that got to be mentioned in a court case. Brand was going after British newspaper The Sun, who claimed that Brand had an affair with Sophie Coady.
“Comedian Russell Brand revealed he did have sex with model Sophie Coady during a High Court hearing on Monday. However he states that this was before his relationship with Jemima Khan began.”
Phew, glad we cleared that up. We would hate to think that anyone would sully the good name of Russell Brand- he has obviously spent a lot of time making sure he had a good reputation. Also, Sophie Coady is totally hot, and belongs on this list.
9. Laura Gallacher
Laura Gallacher is rather hot, there is no doubt about that. She is not only someone that has slept with Russell Brand, she is engaged to him as well- they just had a baby a few days ago. According to the Daily Mail: “The 41-year-old comedian previously stayed quiet about the sex of the baby when it was revealed that fiancée Laura Gallacher, 27, had given birth on the weekend. But it was confirmed on Tuesday that Russell has welcomed a girl – despite him saying that he would like to raise his child ‘gender neutral.'” I really do wish I was making that up. One thing that we all know for sure is that there are around 1,000 women in the world right now that are saying to themselves “What the heck is she thinking?”
8. Teresa Palmer
Teresa Palmer, best known for her role in Warm Bodies is totally gorgeous, there is no doubt of that. Combine that with the fact that she met Russell Brand on the set of the Adam Sandler movie Bedtime Stories and you pretty much know that it is going to be on. After meeting Teresa, Brand said “I’m a changed man, there’s no more womanizing.” Not too long after that Brand said that he was “footloose and fancy free.” It is at this point we might want to mention that it seems certain that Brand does not have sex with every woman that he meets, just ones that have a propensity to fall for men that are famous, rich, charming, and lie really well.
7. Makosi Musambasi
Makosi, a native of Zimbabwe, was yet another contestant that appeared on the English version of Big Brother that Brand appeared on. Of his relationship with her he said: “The most reported of my affairs was with Makosi, because I believe she spoke to the papers. That woman was delicious, she could’ve kissed and told about the darkest corners of my soul and I’d’ve simply raised a glass to her gold medal knockers and Venusian bum.” Well, there you go Russell, you smooth talking devil you, how could anyone resist you when you talk like that? Although I have to say you seem to be pretty on point with your description of her looks. It certainly seemed like making Brand a host of this show is sort of akin to giving a kid the keys to the candy store.
6. Kate Lawler
Kate Lawler is yet another of the gorgeous former Big Brother contestants about whom there are rumors she did the deed with Russell Brand. Kate was the first female winner of the English version of the show and has since parlayed her success into a successful career on other English reality shows and as a host. To be clear, it was not Big Brother itself that Brand hosted, it was the after show called Big Brother Big Mouth. To think of Brand hosting such a silly show seems rather beneath him, until it becomes apparent that it seems that he thought he was being paid in women. Lawler is a gorgeous woman, so if the rumors are indeed true, then I am sure it was worth it for Brand to host the show.
5. Imogen Thomas
Imogen Thomas is yet another incredibly hot woman that became one of Russell Brand’s victims, oops sorry, I mean lovers. The two lasted for around six weeks. Brand says they spent most of that time doing the deed in a bedroom. Brand relates that he put mirrors all over the room, mostly because he was interested in seeing himself. What a gem. Thomas is also known for winning Miss Wales and went to the Miss World competition, and also was a contestant on Big Brother. I have to suggest that if you are a female and ever appeared on that show at any point I would lock my doors and stay inside until I was sure that Russell Brand is no where in the vicinity. He is coming for you- all of you.
4. Holly Madison
What do you do if you used to go out with Hugh Hefner, but it didn’t work out? Well if you are former Playboy Bunny Holly Madison you start hanging out with Russell Brand, and go to bed with him as soon as possible. According to Eonline: “the Girl Next Door was spotted getting cozy with Russell Brand. The duo dined at P. Diddy’s table at Tao, where Jay-Z was hosting a fight-night party.”
It sounds like a good time too; in fact some guests at the hotel they were staying at said they could hear them “getting intimate” together. If there is one couple we can be sure is going to keep it classy, it would be Russell Brand and Holly Madison.
3. Sadie Frost
Sadie Frost has a bit of a history, I mean, we all do of course, but Sadie’s is more interesting than most of ours I would think. First of all she is the mother of Jude Law’s three children. Second she is, or was at least, the best friend of Kate Moss, who had a long an intense relationship with Brand, or at least as long and intense as he can manage. Anyway, since you are reading this list, you already know what happened- Sadie and Brand ended up doing it. While in some lives this would have been a really huge thing, I imagine to Brand the whole “banging his ex’s best friend” thing was just another day. Sadie and Law are divorced, and Moss was named Godmother to one of the children. Celebrities are so crazy.
2. Isabella Brewster
Isabella, who is a talent agent, and Russell Brand met in a yoga class and for a while were appearing in all sorts of tabloids walking around the streets holding hands. Isabella is the younger sister of actress Jordana Brewster, and is now married to former basketball star Baron Davis– the two have a couple of children. She also dated Bradley Cooper for a little while. I imagine that Baron Davis is not a huge fan of Russell Brand, his name probably does not get brought up a lot at the dinner table, but I have to admit I am just guessing there. Isabella was where Brand landed after his divorce from Katy Perry. Well, he probably landed 20 or 30 places in between at the very least, but you get my point.
1. Katy Perry
Of all the women that are linked to Russell Brand, and in this case when I say linked, I really mean it, Katy is the most well known. She actually married him for crying out loud! It didn’t last very long though; Brand dumped her. He not only dumped her but he did it by sending her a text message, and never talked to her again afterwards. What a guy! In fact he busted on her about how he was not interested in her sexually. He even said, “I’d be having sex thinking, ‘Think of anyone, anyone else.’”
One has to wonder how this dude has done it, meaning slept with so many different women, but I have to say the whole thing seems to prove something. Sorry nice guys, no matter what they say, a lot of women like the bad boys.