These actresses spend so much time on the big screen impressing us, making us laugh and cry, getting us to trust them and relate to them. In a sense, we kind of fall in love with them. Literally! A psychological reaction in our brain occurs and, without even having met these women, we start to trust, admire, and then love them, even though they play the roles of different people and behave entirely differently from their normal selves! We fall in love with these women who spend so much time on our television screens- only to discover that they’ve already fallen in love with someone else.
Realistically, we can’t blame them. Of course we can’t! They are human beings whose existence extends far beyond what we see on our televisions and laptops, of course they have friends and dates and crushes and loves. It just seems like it all happens so fast, that we fall in love with them and have our hopes dashed of ever having a loving encounter someday. Not that it would have ever really happened. But it could’ve… you don’t know… whatever…
Buck up, sport. There are plenty of fish in the sea and lots of ladies out there who may return your affections (we didn’t make any promises, but… ya know), but these ladies won’t be one of them. They’re all happily devoted to their partners- sadly for us. Here are fifteen gorgeous celebs you wish were single:
15. Gal Gadot
Yes, friends. We’re sorry we’re the ones that have to break the news to you. Gal Gadot is indeed taken. If you need to take a few minutes to proceed with the grieving process, we understand. But hurry back because we want to point out something pretty crazy…
Gal married her husband Yaron Versano back in 2008. Yaron is a successful Israeli businessman and the two met at a party about spirituality and health. After the second date, he told Gal that he knew she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And here they are! Now, they have two daughters: Alma, who is six, and Maya, who was born just this month. Which is amazing! Think about that for a moment: Gal Gadot is 31, married, and has two kids and she’s still perfect enough to be Wonder Woman. Can anyone say #LifeGoals?
14. Jennifer Aniston
Jennifer certainly hasn’t had an easy go of it. She married Brad Pitt back in 2000 and they were the celebrity icon couple of the decade… well, until Angelina swooped in and kind of ruined things. Brad dropped Jen like she was a used tissue and moved on to the next good thing, which was absolutely, entirely, utterly shitty of him. After that, Jennifer decided to go without men for a while. She had an amazing career and has honestly flourished so much on her own, but she’s finally found a man that she can trust again to not hurt her the way Brad did so many years ago. Justin Theroux, an actor known for his work in Mulholland Drive and Inland Empire, is her current hubby and the two seem quite happy together. Even though she’s been reaching out to Brad Pitt for emotional support since the passing of her mother, Jen seems perfectly happy where she is now with her main man.
13. Mila Kunis
If you’re not one for celebrity gossip, you probably had no idea that Mila Kunis was taken. After all, she’s constantly posing in sexy positions for magazines, sponsorships, and cinematic roles; how were we supposed to know that she’d already devoted her life to someone else? Well, this love story is a cute one. Mila got a role on That 70s’s Show when, really, she was too young to have been cast. But she knew it would be her big break and didn’t back down, lying to land the role. On set, she met Ashton Kutcher who played her character’s love interest. The two stayed friends over the years, even through the end of the television series and through Ashton’s eight year marriage to Demi Moore. But in 2015, these two finally tied the knot after confessing a lifetime of love to each other. It’s a love story anyone would love to tell.
12. Emma Watson
Emma is a smart woman (obviously). She has a degree in English literature from Brown University and studied at Worcester College, she is an immensely present advocate for women’s equality as well as transgender rights, and speaks frequently at the United Nations demanding something be done to remedy the “profound emergency in America” concerning treatment and alienation of women and their bodies. She is such a wonderful young woman that it’s hard to think she’s the same little girl that enrolled at Hogwarts all those years ago! Emma rarely speaks in interviews about her personal life, family, friends, or significant others, mainly so that she doesn’t drag the people she cares about into the media’s attention (how considerate of her)- nonetheless, we know she’s taken! Emma has been dating the same guy, William Mack Knight, for quite some time now and the two are pretty much “spell-bound” by each other.
11. Kate Upton
Kate Upton is pretty damn amazing. She started out in her career as a model, and that already was quite an amazing feat since she didn’t have the typical proportions to make it in the modeling world (she’s a bit curvier). Her modeling started to break some of the typical stereotypes about female bodies, revealing how even more voluptuous bodies can be gorgeous and sexy; she’s really done great work for only being 24 years old. Then she went on to pursue acting, and has done a pretty damn good job of things in Hollywood in films like The Other Woman, The Disaster Artist, and The Three Stooges. She is a stunning sex icon that anyone would be lucky to have a date with. Unfortunately, Justin Verlander, pitcher to the Detroit Tigers, has taken her off the market. The two are engaged and have been for almost a year- wedding bells could be ringing any day now!
10. Jessica Alba
Yes! Sorry to say, but Jessica is married- and actually has been married for quite a long time now. Jessica, best known for her work in The Fantastic Four, Sin City, and Valentine’s Day, has been married to Cash Warren since 2008. Cash, who is a producer out in Hollywood, is a very world-minded person and spends most of his career focused on making the world a better place. His main work has been on documentaries about gang violence and immigration. He’s genuinely a great person, and we’re pretty sure he’s made Jessica a better person too. Since they’ve been married and had kids, Jessica has started her own company called The Honest Company, which is a family minded company made of safe, environmentally clean goods for everyone in the house. Like… wow. That’s pretty amazing. It’s hard to be jealous when you’re so busy applauding the couple for being so… perfect.
9. Lake Bell
Damn it all! Lake Bell? We thought for sure she would be single for at least a few more years, while she figured out how to make the leap between the star of all indie to the star of the big screen. Unfortunately, she’s already found her man.
However, it’s worth a little bit of a laugh to notice that her husband seems like the perfect man for her, if ever there could be a perfect man for anyone. Scott Campbell, a famous New York tattoo artist, is not some sweet and sexy Hollywood starlet that’ll leave everyone wanting posters of him. He’s covered in tats and has a rebellious attitude that exudes not giving a flying… fart. Which is kind of perfect, because Lake is exactly the same way! The two are somehow perfect for each other, in all of their rebellious, wonderful glory! They’ve been married four years and are going strong.
8. Christina Hendricks
Screw Don Draper- we knew why Mad Men was so popular. We weren’t watching the show to check out a bunch of guys getting drunk on the job and writing it off as a work expense (though, you know… #lifegoals); we were watching for Christina Hendricks as Joan Harris, wooing everyone around her no matter what her reasons were. She’s also done a lot of great work since Mad Men, even if you’ve been blissfully unaware, including Drive, Detachment, and The Neon Demon. This buxom beauty had smitten all of the men with her acting- but, unfortunately, she’s been off the market for some time, having married indie film and theatre actor Geoffrey Arend back in 2009. The two look like a mismatched couple, since she’s so stunning and he’s so… um… not. But they actually are perfect for each other and their love is so sweet- it’s kind of inspiring, really!
7. Salma Hayek
Yes, Salma Hayek is married. And yes, the picture above is of her with her husband. No, that’s not her father- that is her husband. No, we’re not joking, that’s her husband. Yes, we are serious.
Salma got married to Francois-Henri Pinault back in 2009 and they have had a very strong and secure relationship ever since. We get it: you’re looking at that picture thinking “really? With him? But… she’s so hot and… why?” You know, looks aren’t everything kids. And neither is age! Yes, he’s in his fifties and yes, they’re kind of from different worlds but so what?! He’s an incredibly successful French businessman; the CEO of Kering, as a matter of fact, which owns Gucci, Boucheron, and a bunch of other huge fashion names. Honestly, of the two of them, Francois is more likely to be the “catch.” Salma got a lucky break with this one!
6. Keira Knightley
Keira doesn’t seem like the person to settle down, does she? She always has this look on her face, this gleam in her eye that makes her seem… hungry. Always lusting after the next great thing, always starved for something better and more. Or maybe that’s just what she wants us to think- after all, she is one hell of an actress, known most for her roles in Atonement, Pride & Prejudice, and the Pirates of the Caribbean series.
Sorry, campers. Keira is and has been settled down for a few years now. Married in 2013, her husband James Righton is the keyboard player for the England-based band, Klaxons, which has since disbanded (ha). The two are constantly photographed around London together and they honestly look so in love after all these years… it’s adorable. Plus, they have a baby named Edie! They’re all so precious and sweet- we almost wish they were an icon so we could stalk them some more.
5. Marion Cotillard
Remember all that hubbub when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie announced that they were getting a divorce? One of the first major rumors was that it was because Angelina got jealous after Brad had an affair with his Allied costar, Marion. Cool story, but that’s all it was: a story. Marion laughed in the faces of such rumors, smiling lovingly at her husband with a comfortable and eased smile. “Yeah, right.”
Marion has never slept with Brad because Marion has never been unfaithful to the love of her life, Guillaume Canet. The two have been married since 2007 and, since the silly scandal with the has-been Pitts, they’ve announced their pregnancy! Marion and Guillaume are expecting a bouncing baby later this year. What’s coolest about all this is that the two never allowed themselves to get dragged into the drama and bull with the Brangelina split; they were too busy loving their lives.
4. Isla Fisher
Isla Fisher, star of Home and Away, Now You See Me, and Wedding Crashers, is so gorgeous and fun and vibrant, you can’t help yourself. You fall in love with Isla instantly, even if you aren’t crazy about the movies she’s in. Well, too bad- you’re too late for the real show. Isla has been snatched up by possibly one of the most unusual suspects: Sacha Baron Cohen. This comedy star, best known for his roles in Borat, Bruno, and The Dictator swooped Isla up years ago back in 2010. Who knows why the two are hopelessly in love with each other, but we have at least one good guess: he makes her laugh. It sounds like a corny reason to fall in love with someone, but ask any woman: if she can find a funny man who loves her and thinks she is wonderful and wants nothing but her happiness, she’ll be smitten. Just as Isla is with Sacha.
3. Reese Witherspoon
Reese Witherspoon is officially in her forties, but she’s honestly looking better than ever. This adorable star, best known for her roles in Legally Blonde, Wild, This Means War, and Walk the Line, is indeed married and has been off the market for quite a while (since 2011). Reese married her hubby, Jim Toth, after having been divorced from her first husband, Ryan Phillippe, for four years. She’d been married to her first husband for eight years and had already had two kids with him when the two separated, citing growing apart as their main reason for the split (though they still remain amicable and split custody of their kids pretty fairly). But she thinks she’s gotten it right this time around! She’s got another son with Jim and the family of five seem to prioritize time together over everything else, including Reese’s acting career and Jim’s talent management career.
2. Elizabeth Banks
Yes, Elizabeth Banks is married… and yes, to this guy.
Elizabeth, best known for her roles in The Lego Movie, The Hunger Games trilogy, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, and The 40-Year-Old Virgin, is, unfortunately for us, married. The biggest wonder here is how a guy that looks like this could manage to get himself a girl like Elizabeth. Is she being held against her will? What’s going on here? Max Handelman, who has been married to Elizabeth for 14 years now, may look like an average Joe but he’s quite a talented man. He makes most of his mark through his writing and film production. Works of his that you may recognize include Surrogates and the book, Why Fantasy Football Matters: (And Our Lives Do Not). What a goob. How did he manage to pin down Elizabeth? Well, the two started dating in college and never looked back.
1. Zoe Saldana
Yup! Zoe is taken, so don’t be getting any ideas Starlord. Or Spock. Or Jake Sully. Or… anyone. No one is allowed to have any ideas.
Zoe, who is most famous for her roles in the series Guardians of the Galaxy, Star Trek, and Avatar, is a stunning actress. She’s been acting since the early 2000s and we’ve loved almost everything she’s been in, from her tiny role in Pirates of the Caribbean to her adrenaline action role in The Losers. She’s one kick ass lady- and she’s found a punk guy to kick it with. Zoe and Marco Perego have been married since 2013 and seem perfectly happy together. Marco is not the typical Hollywood hottie we might’ve thought Zoe would go for; no, he’s an ex-soccer player and artist that is absolutely obsessed with Zoe, just as much as she is with him. The two have three sons together, leaving Zoe with plenty of work on her hands when she’s not on camera.