We spend a lot of time obsessing over image in celebrity culture. The reality that celebrity and attractiveness are as intertwined as ever before is one that many despise but no one can deny. We should be celebrating personalities not their looks. Well, you’re right. We should! This is a kind and admirable wish for future media content. It is, at this point, also a pipedream. Sure, we’d love to be able to know these stars inside and out, revealing their inner truths and showcasing their real personalities to the world, but most of us don’t have access to this kind of information. You could argue that no one has access to this kind of information. The only stars that are brutally honest are often hated for it. From everyone else, we get rehearsed responses and clichéd answers. So, we continue to look on from afar, and from that vantage point, we see the physicality of the star.
For the attractive celebrities, which is also the vast majority of the them, this isn’t so bad. Sure, they get criticisms when they’re not looking their best, but they also receive constant high praise. For the unattractive people at their sides who are thrust into the limelight, this can be a scary world. Sadly, for these poor schmucks, until people stop obsessing about the good looks, there will always be discussions about the not-so-good looks.
As consumers of celebrity culture, we’ve been conditioned to accept two major truths about celebrity relationships. Beautiful stars almost always marry other beautiful stars, and star marriages are insanely short-lived. Now, obviously, there are exceptions to these rules; if there wasn’t, we wouldn’t have a list here. But usually the exception to a beautiful star marrying another beautiful star is that a beautiful star married a filthy rich non-beautiful star (see Beyoncé and Jay Z and many others). Yet, one of the most remarkable things that happens every so often is that a beautiful celeb will marry a completely unknown normal person. To us, they look like us. They’re not Hollywood handsome or pretty; they’re also not dripping with money. In a way, it gives us hope. Maybe not all celebrities are shallow, maybe we too have a chance at love with the Hollywood elite. Or not, but you see where we’re going here. Here are 15 hot celebs whose partners are unattractive and unfamous.
15. Christina Hendricks and Geoffrey Arend
OK, so maybe Geoffrey Arend is kind of famous. Great start. But, wait. There’s no way Arend is well-known by the average fan. Yeah, you might recognize his face from Super Troopers or wherever, but there’s a good chance that you have no clue who he is. Christina Hendricks, however, is very well-known and also very attractive, Arend’s polar opposite you might say. If you were rude, you would at least. Still, these two have been married for seven years, an amazing accomplishment for any Hollywood marriage but especially for one that includes a physical mismatch like this. Now, just hold on a second. We don’t want to be mean, but this is something that plenty of people are talking about—we’re simply the voice of the people. Arend could be a sweetie. In fact, we’re sure he is because that’s the only way that a half-Pakistani Steve Urkel gets a woman like Hendricks, unless, of course, she has some unresolved Family Matters that we don’t know about. This is Hollywood after all.
14. Ellen Pompeo and Chris Ivery
Ellen Pompeo has been married to Chris Ivery for almost 10 years, so we shouldn’t be surprised when we see them together, but we are, if only a little. Well, you are because you’re judgmental, but we still respect you. Ivery is a music producer, but he’s not what you would call famous or even dashingly handsome. No, he’s not nasty looking at all; he’s just not what you would expect an actress and Hollywood sex symbol to be with. Perhaps Pompeo has never been able to actually see what her husband looks like because she can’t open her damn eyes. Love does work in mysterious ways though, so who are we to judge?
13. Elizabeth Banks and Max Handelman
You know you’re a good-looking woman when your fairly handsome husband is considered unattractive next to you. But everywhere you look, people are saying these things about Max Handelman, Elizabeth Banks‘ husband. Sure, his looks don’t quite match her looks in terms of the typical Hollywood couple, but very few men could. Banks is a work of art. Is it insulting to say that Handelman’s not as attractive as her? Probably, but we’re not saying it matters that he is less attractive, just that he is. There’s a sweet innocence in that, right? Maybe not, but looks aside, this is one amazing couple. Truly one of the gems of Hollywood, together since their first day of college in 1992, married in 2003 and still going strong. Though he’s not famous, Handelman is a writer and a film producer. On top of all that, he gets to share his life with Banks and that’s more important than being seen as Hollywood handsome.
12. Adriana Lima and Marko Jaric
Even though these two just finalized their divorce, we’ve got to talk about this couple because people love talking about them. The Brazilian model, Adriana Lima, has been taking everyone’s breath away for some time now. She is easily one of the best-looking creatures that we’ve ever seen walk the Earth, so we would expect her to fall for some other unnaturally good-looking human. She didn’t though. Now, we don’t want to say that her now-ex-husband Marko Jaric isn’t good-looking just because his eyes look like they’re always about to high five each other, but he isn’t what you would call classically handsome either. Jaric played a little bit of professional basketball but calling him famous would be an even bigger stretch than calling him good looking. After Jaric, Lima moved onto Joe Thomas, who is much more in line with our expectations, but they too have now split.
11. Jenna Fischer and Lee Kirk
Is this what we’ve become, calling Lee Kirk, Jenna Fischer‘s husband, unattractive? Sure, we’ll go with it simply because he looks like an ugly duckling next to the unbelievably gorgeous Fischer. It isn’t fair for Kirk. In the regular world, this guy would probably be good looking. Yet, standing next to near-perfect looking actresses, people ridicule him. In 2010, Fischer and Kirk tied the knot and have been together ever since. Kirk is in the film industry, even making a cameo appearance in The Office and directing one of the late season episodes that no one liked, but he would never be confused for being famous. It’s people like Kirk who kids of the future will look up to. As celebrity culture continues to be more meaningful in our lives, we won’t be asking our kids, what do you want to be when you grow up? We’ll ask, who do you want to be with?
10. Clive Owen and Sarah-Jane Fenton
For over 20 years, Clive Owen has been married to Sarah-Jane Fenton. Unfortunately for them, much of the discussion around their relationship is about the apparent disparity in their looks. Sure, Owen looks like a distinguished gentleman from a Bond film and Fenton isn’t a supermodel, but she’s certainly not ugly. She just looks like a woman who has read that she’s not good enough for Clive Owen in every newspaper for the last 20 years. She does have a sweet charm about her and, when she was younger, she was quite attractive. Maybe she hasn’t aged as well as Owen has, but that hasn’t changed his mind about her and that’s probably the only thing that matters.
9. Jesse Williams and Aryn Drake-Lee
For the most part, normal people aren’t celebrities because they look like normal people. We of the normal variety don’t turn heads or cause people to stare, unless we have food on our face. On most days, we pass by anonymously, but many of us have other attributes which make us fun to be around and maybe even share a life with. That’s probably what it was about Aryn Drake-Lee that the unnaturally handsome Jesse Williams found desirable. The two have been married since 2012 and together way before Williams got famous on Grey’s Anatomy. Now that he’s gaining a lot of attention for his acting and his activism (see the speech at the BET Awards), Williams’s wife, Drake-Lee, is also getting some attention and not all of it is nice.
8. Tina Fey and Jeff Richmond
Maybe Jeff Richmond is a bit famous. Yeah, he’s won three Emmys and has done a lot of work behind the scenes, but it’s almost always on his wife’s, Tina Fey‘s, shows and films. Not to take his accomplishments away from him completely, but we’re just saying that he’s probably famous more because of Fey than in spite of her. Even though she likes to disparage her own looks for fun, Fey is an incredible attractive woman. Richmond, however, is just a regular old guy. If we didn’t know Fey better, we would probably expect her to be with someone like Clive Owen above, but she’s got such a great sense of humor that it’s fitting she’s with an average Joe or average Jeff or whatever.
7. Cynthia Nixon and Christine Marinoni
In 2012, Cynthia Nixon, the actress who played Miranda on Sex and the City, was married. We expected that she found some wildly beautiful model-like partner, a la Ellen DeGeneres and Portia, but that was not the case. Nixon’s wife, Christine Marinoni, is no model. When Nixon describes Marinoni, she says that “She’s basically a short man with boobs,” not exactly a glowing review of one’s looks. But maybe Nixon is the Portia in this relationship and Marinoni is the Ellen, or maybe, just maybe, this relationship is different. Maybe this relationship is actually about love.
6. Marisa Miller and Griffin Guess
Marisa Miller is so attractive that it’s offensive. She’s got the kind of beauty that makes people angry and jealous and angry again. But usually we get bothered by such beauty because we imagine that the few people in the world as beautiful as Miller could have anything that they want, and, by almost all accounts, they usually can. But, with Miller, we saw something different. When it came to choosing a mate, she chose Griffin Guess as her life partner, and Guess, while pretty rich, is not really famous or good looking. Actually, maybe he is attractive, if you like that scary mohawk-wearing-when-your-40 look. Either way, these two are not what you would expect as a couple, but they look like they’re the happiest two rich people in the world. Well, Miller looks happy. Guess looks like he wants to kill someone.
5. Tobey Maguire and Jennifer Meyer
Though they’re actually estranged now, Tobey Maguire and Jennifer Meyer were together for about a decade. At first glance, there’s nothing that jumps out at you about this couple. Both humans look like average humans. But, when you consider the fact that most actors usually date other actors, models or freakishly attractive people, you might start wondering. Why isn’t Tobey Maguire doing this? What’s wrong with him? Meyer is not unattractive by any means. No, she may not be a Victoria’s Secret model with flawless features, but, let’s be honest, Maguire isn’t Prince Charming either. Maybe Maguire looks deeper than the surface when choosing a mate. Or maybe Meyer is the best-looking dame he could get. We’ll soon see if he takes a page from pal Leo‘s book, and goes on a supermodel bender.
4. Scarlett Johansson and Romain Dauriac
This one might ruffle a few feathers because Scarlett Johansson‘s beau is actually a pretty handsome guy, all things considered. Romain Dauriac is easily the most attractive male spouse on this list, but this is Scarlett Johansson we’re talking about here. She would rank in the top 10 of almost everyone’s sexiest Hollywood females, so most people would expect her to be with the most attractive celebrity in any room, but she settled for a civilian. This is something we’re pretty happy about. This gives us regulars real hope of finding true love with a rich and sexy actress. Maybe one day, one of us will make the list of unattractive spouses. We should be so lucky.
3. Pierce Brosnan and Keely Shaye Smith
Pierce Brosnan‘s long-wife makes this list because everyone always brings up the contrast in the pair’s looks. Brosnan is, after all, James Bond and we’re used to seeing him and his British charm seduce supermodels on screen. His wife, Keely Shaye Smith, is not a supermodel, though calling her unattractive seems to miss the mark as well. When these two first got married, back in 2001, Smith was quite a bit more petite than she is now. Many of us age more plentifully than others, so we’re not going to poke fun of her. If nothing else, Brosnan has shown himself to be man who cares more about love than looks.
2. Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness
People and the media get awfully mean when talking about Deborra-Lee Furness, Hugh Jackman‘s wife. First of all, they look at Jackman and see how muscular and handsome he has become over the years and they expect that his wife of 20 years needs to age at that same quality. Simple. Impossible. Second, Jackman is a freak of nature and he actually looks better at 48 than he did at 28 when he first met and married Furness. Third, Furness is cute. She just looks like a 50-year-old woman and Jackman looks like Wolverine. It isn’t fair and he should not be used as the standard to judge others on. Love on you two. Love on.
1. Ewan McGregor and Eve Mavrakis
Ewan McGregor is another one of these stars in Hollywood who have aged like they don’t understand what the process is supposed to look like. It’s simple; you’re supposed to look like you’re getting older, Ewan. But instead of looking like a 45-year-old man who did enough partying for two as a young man, McGregor is stuck in state of perpetual youth. His wife of 21 years, Eve Mavrakis, however, is aging like a normal human being. She’s not the leggy blonde that you might expect to be on the arm of McGregor nor is she a famous actress or even 20 years old. Mavrakis is actually older than McGregor. Still we won’t even stray near calling her unattractive. We’ll just say she surprised us, or rather, McGregor surprised us with his commitment.
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