It’s award season in Hollywood which means a time when our favorite actors and actresses can step out of their characters and get the proper credit they deserve for transporting us to faraway places and transforming themselves into people who make us forget we are watching millionaires play pretend. Who are we kidding? We’re watching a bunch of egomaniacs congratulate each other on doing a job most people can only dream about.
The best part isn’t even the awards show. Who cares if the costumes from a movie we’ve never heard of wins more awards than the lighting from a movie we’re never planning on seeing in the first place. It seems like the toughest part about being an actor or an actress is the ability to sit for three or four hours through those shows and their horrible, unfunny presenters and irritating thank-yous? That’s what they should really win awards for.
No, the best part is the pre-show because that’s where you see the fashion. Now, don’t mistake us, it’s not the fashion we watch for. If you’ve seen seen one tuxedo, you’ve seen them all. Sometimes the tie is long, sometimes it’s not and we don’t particularly care what color the dress is of some actress. We care about how short it is and how much skin it shows. Thankfully, the pre-show is all about how the dress looks and they give the most air time to the shortest and the skimpiest.
There’s been a trend toward low-cut backs in the last few years and we like that trend. We don’t think any actress who is hot under 40 years old should even consider a dress with a back. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. After all, it’s not like we’re going to be sticking around to see which movie won best adapted screenplay. In celebration of the bare back, here are 15 Hollywood Hotties Who Pull Off the Backless Dress Like No Other.
15. Olivia Wilde
We’ve always been surprised Olivia Wilde never has broken through from A- list celebrity to the A or A+ list. She’s a beautiful actress who has been great in everything she’s appeared in, but for whatever reason, she just never reached that pinnacle of success we thought she was capable for the last 15 years or so she’s been plugging away in Hollywood. Of course, when you don’t reach the top, you’re forced to do certain things to stay in the spotlight. Thankfully, she’s finally been dropping her clothes in some of her roles before she gets too old. She’ll start turning that down eventually, though. First, they start refusing to do nudity. Next, they start refusing to wear backless gowns. It will be a sad day in Hollywood for everyone when Olivia Wilde makes that choice.
14. Selena Gomez
Back in the day of Madonna or Britney Spears, if you wanted to make a splash and show some butt cheek you had to make a video MTV would only show late at night and you could make a few bucks selling video singles at Tower Records or Sam Goody. These days, you just have to have your boyfriend, named after everybody’s favorite two days of the week, take a picture with his telephone. It’s funny how things change, but some things never change, like the sexiness of a young Latin fox in a backless gown and Selena Gomez is going to fill this role nicely no matter what technology kills whatever other technology in the next 20 or 30 years. Still, we wouldn’t be opposed to The Weekend picking up a video camera and streaming some of the stuff the couple put up on Instagram recently if they’re so inclined.
While we still think most of Rihanna’s public persona is completely fake, there is no denying she has one of the best bodies in entertainment in the last decade. It makes us think that maybe she doesn’t smoke as much marijuana as she’s pictured with because that’s got to lead to somebody having the munchies, right? Rarely shy, Rihanna seems to prefer gowns that have as little fabric as possible, which is our favorite variety. Plunging necklines and backless to the butt are her favorite cuts and we’ll discourage her of changing that style when she walks the red carpets at award shows. We have a feeling when it comes time for the Grammy or Emmys or whatever she’s appearing at she doesn’t even have to tell her stylists, “If there’s more than two cubic yards of fabric and it covers more than one inch of my spine, I’m not going to wear it!”
12. Miranda Kerr
It’s too bad Miranda Kerr was born 10 years too late to really enjoy the massive supermodel mainstream boom that came between 1990 and 2005. Once the Internet was in everybody’s computer, phone, television and car, the rose was off the bloom of having a select crop of woman labeled as the world’s most beautiful, but for 15 years, women like Cindy Crawford, Elle MacPherson and Christy Turlington cashed in. Kerr would have been 10 times bigger than any of them because she actually has a personality, but hottie-as-celebrity had unfortunately peaked for her, although she was funny in a Super Bowl automobile commercial. Thankfully, she is still young enough that she can walk red carpets for another 15-20 years wearing backless gowns and looking stupidly, crazy sexy. We think that more award shows should be invented just so Kerr can be invited to attend.
11. Anne Hathaway
Every time we see a still photo of Anne Hathaway on a runway in another backless gown on a photo or video clip of her in one of her sexy, steamy scenes from one of her films on the Internet, we are struck once again by what an amazingly beautiful creature God created. She is truly gorgeous. Then, when she puts her clothes back on, we’re forced to watch the rest of the movie or she appears on a talk show, we’re reminded why we simply wouldn’t understand anybody’s attraction to Anne Hathaway if we were blind. She has almost nothing to offer except her looks, but what looks they are. If you looked up the term “porcelain skin” in the dictionary, there would be a picture of her next to it. We think she’s one of those actresses who skates by because you’re supposed to believe she’s talented, but have always find her talent really shines when the volume is muted.
10. Heidi Klum
Despite the fact her personality is the equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard, we’ll give Heidi Klum credit that she has not only kept her looks up all of these years, she has all segued into a career in entertainment and keeps herself in the spotlight whatever it takes. When she didn’t need to take off her top and do stupid tricks at 23, she didn’t, but two decades later, it’s not the same story, so the modeling is a little racier and she’ll help bad magicians with their tricks as part of her judging gig on America’s Got Talent. Klum knows that showing up and posing for every last photographer and stopping to talk to every last reporter at awards show red carpet pre-shows is good for her career and it’s something that younger models and entertainers need to learn if they want to have that kind of longevity. They also need to learn to take care of their back like her. You could bounce quarters off that thing.
9. Trisha Krishnan
Hollywood/Bollywood…it’s just one letter, right? Trisha Krishnan is one of the better-known actresses for the last 15 years in Indian cinema, averaging two or three movies a year since she first debuted at the age of 16 in 1999 after winning a bunch of beauty pageants. She’ll turn 34 in May 2017. She prefered straight-ahead acting for most of her career, winning quite a few awards, before debuting in her first Bollywood film in 2010 called Khatta Meetha. She has done several since and clips are available online. Our favorite is from her film, Vidyasagar. While we think she certainly deserves an award for how terrifically sexy she looks in backless attire, our favorite award she’s won was from the Miss India contest in 2001 where she was given the most “Beautiful Smile” award.
8. Vanessa Hudgens
While we prefer the photos of her front that were leaking onto the Internet every other year a while back, there is no debating that Vanessa Hudgens is one of the most beautiful young actresses in Hollywood and her choice of gowns at awards shows always strikes a good balance between smoking hot sexy and classically elegant. Whoever does her styling is earning their money. It’s too bad they weren’t there when she thought taking those selfies that almost ruined her acting career was a good idea. Then again, maybe it wasn’t the selfies. Maybe it was just how bad the High School Musical movies were. Either way, it’s time for Hollywood to give her another shot. We suggest Vanessa show up to more auditions in backless gowns.
7. Taylor Schilling
When we first fell in love with Orange is the New Black, it was because we were already a big fan of the “Woman in Prison” genre, but usually it’s hard to imagine the actresses from those movies and shows looking hot in the kinds of backless gowns you see walking down red carpets at awards shows. Taylor Schilling pulls off the look better than any fake felon before her and is going to take a very special casting of a criminal to knock her off that pedestal. Schilling hasn’t really got her due in Hollywood and we think that she should move away from OITNB sooner than later because she could be a superstar. It’d be nice seeing her on-stage at the Oscars or Emmys in a backless number accepting an award instead of just showing up on a pre-show telling which designer made her dress, especially since it’s not really the dress we’re looking at.
6. Nicole Richie
Nicole Richie has a father who was in a popular musical group in the 1970s, the Commodores and had a bunch of hits in the 1980s. She had a reality show with her equally vapid friend Paris Hilton about a dozen years ago, has had a bunch of guest appearances as herself on shows, but we’ve never really been able to figure out why this girl continues to be famous. The one thing we do like about her is that she rocks a backless gown like few other former drug abusing, basically talentless, children of the famous who have a perpetual deer-in-headlights look. Maybe that’s too harsh. She doesn’t always look like she’s a deer in a headlights. A lot of the time she just looks bored.
5. Amanda Seyfried
We fell in love with Seyfried as the ditzy one in Mean Girls who could tell the weather based on how her breasts were feeling that day and have enjoyed most of her movies since then, even the ones that were based on Nicholas Sparks’ books. She’s another one of those actresses on this list like Olivia Wilde who we are genuinely surprised is not a bigger celebrity after working steadily in Hollywood for the last 15 years and working in Hollywood including showing up at awards shows 20 nights a year in sexy backless gowns. Seyfried, who we are guessing would burn to a crisp if she was in the sun for more than 5 minutes, must be forced to wear SPF 12,000 for some of those long red carpets in the hot late afternoon southern California sun. We appreciate the sacrifice she makes for her craft, and us.
4. Candice Swanepoel
Like most Victoria’s Secret or Sports Illustrated models these days, there’s not too much to distinguish Candice Swanepoel from any other model since supermodel identity isn’t put at the premium it was 15 or 20 year ago. She was named the hottest model by Maxim on the Hot 100 list in 2014, but really, can you name the top women the year before or after? We can’t either. About the only thing that really sticks out about her, aside from this backless number that we can’t get out of our head, is that she was the model who wore that $10 million bra back in 2012 at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. You’ll remember that as the one that had like 4,000 gems including a massive ruby in the center that was supposed to symbolize a heart. It’s clearly not the thing you fumbled with on any of your girlfriends. Then again, none of your girlfriends probably rocked a backless dress like this either.
3. Scarlett Johansson
This picture of Scarlett is a little older, but we didn’t think you’d hold it against us. We bet a lot of you aren’t even reading this now. It’s OK, we don’t blame you. We’re contractually obligated to put these words here. We know where the eyeballs are at, and it’s above all of these sentences. If there was any actress in Hollywood who we think is more than the sum of her parts, it’s Johansson. She doesn’t have the best or most beautiful of any specific body part, nor is she the most talented, but she is well-above average in every area. The thing is, when you add it all together, it equals one of the greatest total packages Hollywood has ever offered and this includes what she looks like in a backless number. Greatest gown choice? Nope. Prettiest back? No. Best posture? Not close. Yet somehow, like with everything else she does, when you put it all together, she pulls it off better than almost anyone else.
2. Kate Bosworth
Kate Bosworth is naturally hot. With some of these women, if you saw them in a restaurant, or at the mall, you might not recognize them as naturally hot. It’s amazing what a stylist can do with a hair and makeup person at their side. Bosworth is one of those women who could be a welder by day and exotic dancer by night, but you just knew that she was beautiful, both inside and out and that she was destined to leave the small industrial town she was stuck in…wait, wait, wait. Sorry, Flashdance is on VH-1 in the background while we’re writing this. Bosworth had deserved a career 10 times better than what she’s been given but the one place nobody could ever say she’s been shortchanged is in the “looks amazing in a backless dress” department. Mother Nature was very kind to her in this department.
1. Jennifer Nicole Lee
This is Jennifer Nicole Lee. Yes, we know she’s not wearing a gown here because she doesn’t walk as many red carpets as the other ladies here, but let’s not be haters. She’s done some cameos in movies, most notably Pain & Gain with Dwayne Johnson and Mark Wahlberg, but she’s known as a fitness guru and personal trainer who gets called upon by the morning news shows when they need a good looking woman who is 40 to talk about how to keep yourself in shape and eat healthy while juggling motherhood. She’s the woman who is hot, has a career, is a mother, etc. You know, the kind every other woman wants to punch in the teeth? Anyway, along with everything else she does perfectly, she can rock a backless gown. She got divorced a few years ago, so something was up, but thus far, we can’t find anything wrong with her.