Kate Upton has graced the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue three times and was the cover model for Vanity Fair’s 100th Anniversary Issue. But when it comes to seeing pictures of the world’s most beautiful woman with words around them, we’ll trade in any magazine cover for a funny and sexy meme.
There’s something about a meme that just makes the day that much better. Whether it’s taking a serious situation and making it silly or taking a silly situation and making it downright ludicrous, there’s a talent to creating the perfect meme. It’s a recipe that’s equal parts snark, wit, irony, and a darn good photo.
You know with Kate Upton, you’re always going to get a good photo. Unlike many models, though, Upton doesn’t have a history of saying stupid stuff. Sure, she’s vehemently defended her husband on Twitter, raising eyebrows, but she certainly isn’t the stereotypical dumb blonde model. That makes it a little harder for meme builders to create great work.
Thankfully, though, there are plenty of people out there who’ve been up for the challenge. We’ve scoured the Internet, collected them all, and carefully picked out the best. Here are the 15 Funniest and Hottest Kate Upton memes.
15. What movie is this picture from?
You probably don’t recognize this photo because it comes from The Three Stooges movie released in 2014 that very few people ever saw, which is a good thing, because it’s 90 minutes you’ll never get back. The film — and Kate Upton — caught some flack for mixing super hot sexuality with the Catholic Church. Blasphemy aside, this meme is almost perfect. It’s crazy sexy and super funny, which is what all memes about Kate Upton should strive for. A report a few years ago by the Pew Forum found the Roman Catholic Church in America to be losing more members faster than any other religion. If they could find women as hot as Upton and get them to wear this kind of outfit, we have a feeling a lot more men would be attending church on Sunday.
14. It’s funny because it’s true
One of the things we’ve always wanted to see is an interview with different supermodels asking them if they’re aware exactly why people are interested in hiring them to sell their products. It’s a one-word answer: sex. If there’s one thing everybody learns in Advertising 101, it’s that sex sells. We’re more likely going to stop and look at Kate Upton stuffing her face with a Carl’s Jr. hamburger than if it were an average looking woman doing the same. We all know this, and we all accept it. Yet, there are still a lot of men and women who get genuinely freaked out and disgusted when a woman — good looking or not — breastfeeds her baby in public. This meme is right. The breasts exist as a way to nourish the next generation. Being freaked out by a woman breastfeeding is weird when you think about it. Shouldn’t you be far more freaked out by a woman refusing to feed her child?
13. We lasted just under two seconds
Some of our favorite memes are ones that state the obvious — but the kind of obvious you’d never actually say out loud. There’s a simple fact about Kate Upton that defines her. She has magnificent breasts. They would have made 16th Century sculptors take slabs of marble and chisel out a likeness. Thankfully, George Eastman of Eastman Kodak learned how to mass produce camera film and instead of visiting a museum to celebrate Kate’s greatest assets, there are thousands of photos out there. Here’s a better question: after you stare for the first time, then go to her face, how long until you’re back looking at her chest? We made it the full two seconds on our second attempt. It’s kind of amazing that someone who has a face as beautiful face as she does can only count her mug as her second-greatest body part. There’s some seriously amazing DNA in that body.
12. Where does the line start?
Here’s one of the few things that bug us about superstars and hot women, of which Kate Upton is both: they complain about stalkers. Now, that may seem weird, but in an effort to become popular, people like Kate Upton put this vibe out there that anybody could be their friend, which is just not true. Wearing shirts like this is part of putting that vibe out there. When it looks like you want us to be your friend, you’ve got to expect some people to take it literally, like that high school kid from California who invited Kate Upton to his prom in 2016 via YouTube. He got all kinds of hits on his only slightly fanatical invite. Did she go? Of course not. She was “busy,” although the last laugh was on her in that instance. Her scheduling conflict resulted in Danish supermodel Nina Agdal going to the prom with that kid. Can you imagine having to settle for a second supermodel? We doubt that kid made it to first base. He should just be thankful he was allowed in the ballpark.
11. It’s funny because you can do so much with her name
We promise this will be the last play-on-words meme with Kate Upton’s name. Credit goes to all of the meme makers in cyberspace who have done more with a five-letter last name than they had any right to. It makes one wonder if she had to put up with any crap from her classmates in school since kids love to make fun of their friends’ names. She wasn’t the stereotypical ugly duckling who turned into the swan — she’s always been a good-looking female — so we’re guessing that the boys didn’t make too much fun of her. Imagine being the random guy who now works as the assistant manager at a 7-11 and who can say he took Kate Upton to the prom. It’s called peaking at a young age. Your dating life is all downhill from there.
10. We know what commercial is on next
A pop culture icon like Kate Upton doesn’t faze certain segments of society, computer geeks being one such segment. Of course, computer geeks don’t want to all be painted with the same brush. The major snobs among them hate computer rookies and refuse to help the “noobs.” But what these snobs hate even more than noobs are popular mainstream games. As a result of this hatred, Kate Upton was the object of much of their scorn back in 2014 when she was chosen to play Athena in the commercials for Game of War: Fire Age. In these ads, she didn’t do anything other than look hot as always, but the issue was that the advertising campaign had a rumored $40 million sunk into it, which meant that not only were you seeing the commercial on TV every 20 minutes, you also couldn’t do anything online without seeing pop-up ads for the game — hence the exasperation in the meme. But while the ads did get annoying, they seemed like a fair trade-off for getting to see that much Kate.
9. She didn’t start the fire
Two of the staple categories of memes are puns and plays on words — things like “The invention of the shovel must have been groundbreaking” or over a picture of an alpaca the words, “Wanna go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch.” With a last name like “Upton,” it had to be assumed that puns would be everywhere for memes of the supermodel. We like this one because you have to know the Billy Joel song “Uptown Girl,” and it’s nearly 35 years old. What’s kind of ironic, if you want some deep trivia, is that the video for the Joel classic was one of the first to ever feature a supermodel, Christie Brinkley. That was back when MTV was only two years old and actually showed videos. Billy Joel ended up marrying Brinkley. We’re guessing the maker of this meme isn’t allowed anywhere near Upton.
8. We recognize this guy from somewhere
Some of our favorite memes involve people who aren’t even actually the subject of the meme, and for whatever reason, there are a bunch of Barack Obama-Kate Upton memes out there. The former president is a popular meme subject, although Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka still seems to be the king of all memes. And yes, we did find a couple of Wonka-Upton memes, but they just weren’t funny enough to make the cut. One of the reasons we like the Obama memes is because we can actually see him saying this stuff. Regardless of your politics, it’s impossible to not recognize that he’s just one cool guy. Maybe he’s not cool enough to land Kate Upton, but at least he appears to appreciate her. His wife is pretty good-looking, too, so it’s hard for him to complain.
7. Gravity has never been the problem
Theoretically, somebody who doesn’t have perfect breasts might be able to make them look better in an environment devoid of gravity, especially if they’re too big and tend to sag. This isn’t Kate Upton’s problem. Maybe in 50 years, when she’s an old lady, gravity will have ravaged that perfect set of hers, but for now, she doesn’t need weightlessness to always look amazing. For whatever reason, Sports Illustrated, for their swimsuit issue, thought it would be cool to put Upton onto one of those planes capable of hitting zero Gs. It’s an interesting idea, although we’ll always favor her debut appearance in which she wore nothing but body paint. If she appears in another swimsuit issue, we hope that the sports magazine will decide it’s time to put her on a trampoline in a tiny bikini.
6. Oops, her bad
This one makes us laugh because it plays into the stereotype that models are stupid, but it’s also the kind of thing that we’d get caught doing. Super hot women like Kate Upton make a ton of money making public appearances at clubs, product launches, and other venues where it’s good for a company to have celebrity involvement. Of course, bringing your iPhone to the Galaxy Note launch party is not a cool move since the Galaxy people are writing a big check. In 2013, her appearance fee was rumored to be around $25,000, and we can only guess that it’s probably doubled or tripled since then. Can you imagine being invited to a party for Coca-Cola and showing up wearing a Pepsi ballcap? Or having a Hillary Clinton button at a Donald Trump rally during their campaign? And afterward, still getting paid that much? This is the kind of thing a personal assistant should be watching for.
5. A tale of two faces
There are a lot of messages you can get from this meme, but there’s no doubt that Kate Upton is held as the hottest woman in the world in every interpretation. Rosie O’Donnell is held as either the worst — or as what an average woman looks like — depending on how you want to read it. We think it’s a commentary on the confidence a woman feels when she know she looks her best, and we absolutely agree that the best any woman could strive for is Kate Upton. But it also shows the insecurity that most women feel in their natural state. Ordinarily, they don’t feel like supermodels; they feel like overweight co-hosts of bad talk shows. Of course, it could just be a meme that Maybelline or L’Oreal created and forced to go viral. The real message that women should be doing what they can to look like Kate Upton is one we can get behind.
4. Count us among the lucky ones
This photo of John Goodman from the movie The Big Lebowski is another favorite among meme builders, and this is a perfect reason why: it can be used to say anything. You could not have two more opposite messages than the two memes above, yet somehow, they both still work. They’re referencing the fact she was one of the celebrities who was part of the iCloud hacking incident in which dozens of stars had their private, intimate photos and videos stolen and uploaded to the Internet. Jennifer Lawrence was the biggest name to come out of that leak, but Upton wasn’t far behind on the marquee. Despite the fact she’s a beautiful woman who makes a living being almost completely naked, she gets to decide whom she’s going to work for, how much she’s going to wear, and how much she’s going to be paid. Stealing naked photos is an invasion of privacy and very illegal.
3. Kate Upton and Baseball, Part I
It’s time for another play-on-words/pun meme! As you can tell, they’re our favorite, even if Kate doesn’t play a huge role. We like this one because there’s a lot going on, and you need to have multiple pieces of pop culture knowledge to put them all together. First, you need to know who Kate Upton is. Next, you need to know that there’s a baseball player named Justin Upton. Finally, you need to know the words to the DMX rap classic “Up in Here.” It’s hard to believe, but that song is nearly 20 years old. So, if you’re not up on your supermodels, baseball, and classic rap tunes, you may not find this funny. Of course, if you’re one of those people who don’t appreciate witty wordplay, you might not find this meme funny either. Get that fixed.
2. Unlike Jay Leno, Conan O’Brien is a funny man
Conan O’Brien is one of the funniest men in the world, but he just crosses that line into “too weird” for middle America to embrace him. He had his 12:30 a.m. show for years on NBC, but when he moved an hour earlier to take over The Tonight Show, it became clear that there are very different audiences for his original show and the one Jay Leno bored us to sleep with for 20 years. O’Brien didn’t even make it a half-year in that gig before NBC gave him a mountain of money to walk away. Smartly, TBS grabbed him and gave him a show that a smaller audience could embrace. The joke he tells in this meme shows why he didn’t make it on NBC. Old ladies who go to sleep at midnight and think Jay Leno is funny just aren’t going to laugh at a joke where a tall red-headed guy infers he has a giant member.
1. Kate Upton and Baseball, Part II
So who’s the lucky guy that gets to wake up next to Kate Upton in the morning? It’s Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander. For those who don’t know baseball, he’s one of the best in the game. When he was passed over the Cy Young Award, despite probably having the best year of any pitcher, Upton tweeted that she thought she was the only one that was allowed to screw Verlander. It was pretty funny the way she came to his defense. Of course, we’re guessing that 90% of the pitchers playing pro baseball would trade five Cy Young Awards to take home the ultimate trophy. These memes are great because they put everything into perspective. Baseball is just a game; Kate Upton is a goddess. Which one do you want to wake up next to?