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15 Celebs Who Bared It All, And Scared The Crap Out Of Us

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15 Celebs Who Bared It All, And Scared The Crap Out Of Us

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There are lots of celebs no one wants to see sans-clothing. This is a list of famous people who decided to strip down and shamelessly bare it all on-screen anyway. Some things are just better left to the imagination, but few of us ever imagined a naked Terry Bradshaw or Verne Troyer. Too bad for us, they moved forward on an inadvisable decision to show more than we ever wanted to see. Maybe some TV shows and movies should come with a public service warning: Caution Terrible, Unsightly Nudity Ahead.

Maybe these celebrities should have kept their clothes on; maybe not. Their nudity is gratuitous and unwanted, but this didn’t stop filmmakers (professional and amateur) from asking them to bare it all. Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but that doesn’t mean everyone should just strip down for the camera. These are a few of the nude celebs that left us wishing the nudity had ended up on the cutting room floor.

Remember: not all on-camera intimacy and nudity is meant to be romantic. Nudity may be necessary because it drives the plot or illuminates a characterization, which makes showing non-traditional bodies sometimes necessary. You may not agree that these nude scenes were grotesque and/or superfluous, but what can be agreed upon is that sometimes celebs go too far and show way too much – far more than the average viewer wanted to see.

15. Sacha Baron Cohen and Ken Davitian In “Borat”

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2006’s smash hit, Borat, had everyone saying “my wife” and “very nice.” It left no one saying, “hey you know what my favorite scene was? The one where Borat and his fat companion wrestle naked.” That infamous scene will forever go down in history as one of the most festering instances of nudity ever on-screen and hopefully ever to be seen again. Although hilarious, it was nothing short of repulsive.

In a Reddit AMA, Cohen discussed the many difficulties he experienced while filming Borat. Chief among those difficulties was breathing with a 250 lb. man’s buttocks in his face. “If you look at the Borat film now, you will see that I do hit the mattress three times, and the director didn’t stop filming, which meant I was faced with this very stark choice, which was either to die, or to breathe in the rancid air from my costar’s rectum.”

14. Tonya Harding In “Tonya Harding’s Wedding Night”

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Remember Tonya Harding? She’s the former two-time Olympic ice skater who allegedly helped orchestrate a savage attack on her main competitor, Nancy Kerrigan. Allegedly, Harding’s husband hired a hit-man to break Kerrigan’s leg, but he only succeeded in badly bruising her. Kerrigan was forced to sit-out an upcoming match, which resulted in Harding winning an undeserved National Championship medal.

No one would have cared if Harding just faded away into obscurity, but the draw of money is too strong from some people. She cashed in on her notoriety by releasing a sex tape aptly titled, Tonya Harding’s Wedding Night – not because it’s taken from her actual wedding night, but because it’s filmed post-Halloween party and she’s wearing a wedding dress. Thankfully it wasn’t filmed with a high-definition camera, so if you must watch it, the darkness and shoddy camerawork ensure you’re not getting too up close and personal with the disgraced ice skater.

13. Robin Williams In “World’s Greatest Dad”

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In the film, World’s Greatest Dad, Robin Williams finds his son dead and in a compromising position. To protect his child’s reputation and his own, William’s character pens a fake suicide note for the boy. The note ends up attracting a lot of positive attention, and for a while the dad selfishly soaks up all the glory.

The late, great Robin Williams strips down to nothing to bare it all in an unforgettable scene in this movie. Running to the tune “Under Pressure” by Queen, Williams strips off his clothing as he races through the halls of his son’s school. At first, you may feel relieved – oh okay, I’m only seeing a little old man butt here, but then the film’s camera puts his ding-dong on full display and you’ve just joined the ranks of all the other people who’ve seen Robin William’s twig and berries and lived to talk about it.

12. Kathy Bates In “About Schmidt”

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Kathy Bates is like a mother figure to me (well, a sometimes hateful one who breaks author’s legs and who has also played a mean racist), but a beloved matron nonetheless. She was a staple in movies throughout my childhood, and many of her performances are forever ingrained in my being. This doesn’t include her scene with Jack Nicholson in About Schmidt, during which she bared almost everything while bathing in a hot tub.

This isn’t to say I hated her performance, but rather I am a fan of the film, especially of Bates’ character. She played Roberta who is both selfless and selfish, charming and full of anger. Bates’ scenes are among her best. I just had to erase the image of her naked body from my brain because she feels like family, and that feels icky.

Still, mad props to Bates who unabashedly bared almost it all to show people that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. And, at the end of the day, nudity in film is used for many reasons, not just to titillate or shock, but sometimes to make societal commentary or to be subversive.

11. Jennifer Connelly In “Requiem For A Dream”

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Jennifer Connelly smolders in the face of traditional grace and beauty. Her expressive eyes and flawless portrayal of painful desperation made her perfect for the role of Marion, a once doe-eyed innocent turned hardcore heroin addict. But, you don’t watch Requiem for a Dream to feel turned on by her impeccable beauty. No, the sight of her stripped down often leaves one wishing for a reprieve, for someone to come along and save her life.

There’s a part where she’s forced to sell herself for drug money, and the sight of her body is terrifying. You almost want to throw a blanket over the women who are engaged in solicited activities. It makes the viewer feel like they’re unwittingly participating in human trafficking. Drug addicts are often portrayed in a negative light, but this is one film that makes you want to rescue them. That’s probably why Connelly’s nude scenes in Requiem are so darkly disturbing.

10. Verne Troyer In “The Surreal Life”

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Verne Troyer, whose biggest claim to fame is starring as Mini-Me in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, also starred in a couple seasons of VH1’s The Surreal Life. Because Hollywood is a depraved and exploitative place, Troyer could consume unhealthy amounts of alcohol and react belligerently to his costars, at one point drunk-driving a scooter while naked and urinating on the wall while his cast mates watched in horror.

In a scene I would describe as both sad and bizarre, Troyer went to bed sloppy drunk and made strange moaning sounds while the rest of the household struggled to understand what was happening. He was asked if he needed anything, some water perhaps? When they’re sure he’s asleep, they tip-toed to bed themselves, but Verne stripped down, hopped on his scooter and treated everyone to full-frontal, including the audience. Thankfully, all the naughty parts were blurred out, but we still saw way more than we wanted to.

9. Kevin Bacon In “Wild Things”

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In a 2015 mock-PSA, Kevin Bacon told the world that he’d like more gratis male nudity in film. “Gentlemen,” he said. “It’s time to free the bacon…and by bacon, of course, I mean your weiner, your balls, and your butt.” Who better to lead the #freetheBacon campaign for more male nudity than expert Kevin Bacon who showed his naked ass in Hollow Man and Pyrates, and his dong in Wild Things? Although the scene isn’t exactly pleasant, no one can blame you if you’re curious and run out to rent this b-film just to see his foot loose.

Bacon seems very comfortable with cinematic displays of male nudity, but that doesn’t mean the public wanted a full-frontal view of him. That’s exactly what you get in Wild Things, a crime drama for the Aaron Spelling generation. The oddest thing about it is Matt Dillon stands there gabbing like this is a completely normal exchange. Most people don’t walk in on their business partner’s naked and think: this is totally normal, I’ll just stand here and have a chat while his bacon and eggs swing about unfettered.

8. Lin Shaye In “There’s Something About Mary”

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Although it’s a very funny scene, Lin Shaye’s topless moment in There’s Something About Mary is cringe-worthy. Her character is burnt to a crisp from over-tanning. If you’ve seen the legendary comedy, you know the scene tricks you into thinking you’ll maybe catch a glimpse of a naked Mary, played by Cameron Diaz; instead, you get Shaye and there’s no time to turn away. It’s an unforgettable, flash in the pan, give me soap to wash my eyeballs moment.

Shaye used a stunt chest, so those wrinkly flippy-floppys aren’t her real breasts, but they’re realistic enough that we wish she would have kept her clothes on. She has bikini tan lines, which really accentuates the horrific damage time and over-exposure have caused to the character’s breasts. If you’ve yet to heed warnings about over tanning, maybe Google this grotesque character makeup and you’ll realize what too much sun can do to your body.

7. Michael Fassbender In “Hunger”

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If you haven’t seen Hunger, it’s an incredible film and deserves a viewing, but the nudity is at times revolting. Michael Fassbender plays real-life member of Parliament, Bobby Sands, who went on a hunger strike to protest prisoner treatment. His demands weren’t readily met, so he went weeks without eating and deteriorated to emaciation. Fassbender dropped an incredible 42 pounds to play the role by limiting his diet to just 900-calories a day.

Fassbender is arguably the sexiest man in Hollywood, but wasted away at just 127 pounds is not how you want to view him. He is bone thin and withered looking, the chest on his skin clings to his rib cage, and his stomach is sunken. If you want to see him naked with a healthy weight, I suggest you check out Shame, which like Hunger is a Steve McQueen film, so don’t go in expecting it to be sultry, but rather a deep look at the triggers that cause nymphomania.

6. Chyna In “1 Night In Chyna”

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Here’s a night you won’t soon forget, but you’ll want to: 1 Night In Chyna, the viral sex tape that stars WWE Diva, Joanie Laurer aka Chyna. This is one of those sex tapes that once you see it, you cannot un-see it. Plenty of celebrity sex tapes have had similar fates of being more comedic than sexy, but none were as rubbernecked as Chyna’s because this train wreck features an oversized you know what. (Something most people, including me, didn’t even realize was a thing.) How you feel about Chyna’s muscular physique is dependent on personal preference, but for a lot of people the more intimate parts of her body were surprising to say the least.

Chyna’s celebrity and the film’s cringe-worthiness made 1 Night In Chyna an instant success. It went viral, which led to it winning the AVN Award for “Best-Selling Title.” Profits exceeded $500,000. Because her sex tape was such a huge success, Chyna continued to work in the adult film industry until her untimely demise in early 2016.

 

5. Kanye West’s “Leaked” Photos

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Quick, someone sign Kanye West up for the Dollar Shave Club. He has one of the most overzealous bushes you’ve ever seen. A word of advice: if you’re going to leak photos, maybe mow the lawn first. Or, an even better idea would be to keep it in your pants Kanye because the public isn’t interested.

Kanye loves to take people to task, so it’s only fair to occasionally drag him. I’d say it keeps him humble, but we all know humble is not a word used to describe Kanye. Allegedly, the rap star snapped a few photos of his junk and texted them to a bunch of thirsty women (thirsty for some online fame). If you think this was by accident, you’re not considering that Kanye carefully organizes publicity stunts all the time, and this seems by no means a cruel fortune. What celebrity doesn’t question whether a nude photo will surface online or not? The ones who want it to surface online, that’s who. When asked about the nude photo scandal, Kanye said “I went to the link, and you cannot imagine how disappointed I was that I got cut off.” I’m sure Taylor Swift feels the same way about being cut off.

4. Jessica Tandy In “Camilla”

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At 86-years-old, Jessica Tandy bravely went skinny dipping for the 1994 road trip movie Camilla. The site of Tandy’s geriatric booty was understandably jarring for some. For me, I could care less that Tandy was naked in Camilla, so long as the scene enriched the film. Suffice to say, it didn’t enrich my life whatsoever. The whole movie is a terrible waste of time.

Camilla was a big old flop at the box office. It grossed just over $250,000, and has since fallen to obscurity. It’s likely most people don’t even hear about the film unless they’re Googling, “Jessica Tandy naked,” in which case they’re probably hoping to glimpse her in her younger years. Those images don’t exist. The one and only nude scene Tandy ever acted in was in Camilla, and sadly it will be her last because she died in 1994 shortly before her film was released in theaters nationwide.

3. Donald Sutherland In “Space Cowboys”

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Did you like Grumpy Old Men and its sequel Grumpier Old Men? If so, you’re going to love Grumpy Old Men Go to Space aka Space Cowboys. Okay, so Space Cowboys isn’t really a sequel, but it does feature a lot of grumpy old guys. One of those curmudgeons is none other than Donald Sutherland. For those of you born post-1995, Sutherland is the guy who plays President Snow in the Hunger Games trilogy. Do you want to see President Snow naked? If not, don’t watch this film.

Space Cowboys mistreats viewers to a line of geriatric asses, including Sutherland’s, Clint Eastwood’s, James Garner‘s, and Tommy Lee Jones.’ It’s like a bunch of grandpas lined up for a physical, but no one remembered to put on their gown. The torture of viewing their butts wasn’t enough. The film just had to show off Sutherland’s junk too; which is why, if you haven’t already seen this movie, I suggest you never watch it.

2. Joan Collins In “The Stud”

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Joan Collins was 40 years old when she filmed The Stud, which is amazing if you consider how quickly older actresses are recycled in Hollywood. Sexism was even worse back in the 70s when The Stud was released, but Collins established herself as a lasting erotic icon. The film isn’t exactly terrible or anything (although I wouldn’t say it’s good by today’s standards). It’s just that the infamous pool-side orgy is so very, very awkward that it hath landed Collins on this list.

Collins is admittedly very beautiful, so it’s not her age that’s the problem. It’s the odd way her body is pulled gaunt, and the unrealistic way they’re doing it. It’s just an unnecessary, gratuitous, laughable scene that probably shouldn’t have made the film. Hollywood in the 1970s was famous for its exploitation films, and this is a prime example of what that looks like. At the end of the day, we could have done without the Collins nudity in the scene, but she did okay the rest of the film.

1. Terry Bradshaw In “Failure To Launch”

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Terry Bradshaw is a good actor, so why did he strip down for Failure to Launch? In a scene that almost ruined the movie, Bradshaw bared it all in front of a fish tank. He plays Matthew McConaughey’s father in the film, and is caught by his son while feeding his fish in the buff. His drooping booty was an unnecessary inclusion in the film, and I wish I could unsee what I’ve seen, but I can’t.

If you haven’t seen Failure to Launch, you’re not missing much. It’s your standard McConaughey rom-com. Sarah Jessica Parker costars with him, and the film is watchable – except the part where Bradshaw loses his clothing. Bradshaw is married to Kathy Bates in the film, and it’s their goal to get their son to move out by hiring a woman to seduce him. Bradshaw’s nakedness is horribly unwatchable, and hardly funny because it’s difficult to focus on anything else.

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