We are living in a world of transparency. Thanks to social media, we see millions of personal details that we never used to see. There are no censors. It’s up to the user to decide what they want to share with the world. If you want to post a pic of something gross that you ate for dinner, you can. Having a hilarious belching contest? Okay, film it. Slurping tequila shots off of a stranger’s navel? Cheers. Have to show off how hot you look in your underwear? Go ahead. Want to show a picture of your baby breastfeeding… um, that’s acceptable too… sort of.
Perhaps that latter example crossed a line, right? Now the social media user isn’t just subjecting themselves to potentially embarrassing images, but they’re including another person who never volunteered to take part. Parents these days are exploiting their kids in humiliating social media posts, and someday that kid is going to grow up, see this stuff, and be pissed. Sure, maybe the average person may be able to erase their posts and be done with it, but information about celebrities certainly lives online forever.
So this list is about the Hollywood moms who reveal TOO much about their kids, or themselves and how they raise their kids. They’ve posted, photographed or admitted some private information that one day will embarrass their kids beyond belief. It just isn’t fair to the poor kid, right? What did they do to deserve this? Celebrity kids may be rich and over-privileged, but they are also placed in a spotlight that can easily be disgraced. Hopefully the kids will eventually come to realize that nobody’s perfect, and parents can make some stupid, and funny, mistakes too.
15. Kim Kardashian West
Let’s get an obvious one out of the way here. If you just had a baby, sure you want to show off how fast you shed your baby weight, but please remember to wear a respectable amount of clothing. Sure, mommy made a living off a bedroom tape with Ray-J. Sure she got naked for Playboy and did enough raunchy Instagram posts to break the internet. But weren’t we expecting things to slow down ever so slightly after Kim Kardashian became a mom? Well, it seems that just the opposite occurred and the explicit selfies only increased. Wow. Can you imagine searching your mom online and seeing all kinds of booty pics? That would be so embarrassing and disturbing on so many levels. But these kids will be different. These types of images will be the norm for these kids. And how will this affect their personalities? Only time will tell.
14. Penelope Cruz
Let’s first say that all parents have no idea what they are doing. There is no training offered. You don’t have to apply to be a parent. You are thrust into the job, and it’s a life-changing around the clock commitment. You constantly make split second decisions. You’ve questioned your parents’ decisions your entire life, and now, you’re questioning your own. There’s no right or wrong way to go here, folks. Seeking advice, many Hollywood moms, including the beautiful actress and self proclaimed breastfeeding addict, Penelope Cruz, have adopted a childcare method called RIE, Resources for Infant Educators. Most of RIE methods are pretty normal, but there are some super weird ones, everyone didn’t have to know about– like not giving your toddler a tippy cup because such an invention is an insult to their intelligence. High chairs are also banned. What? Yes, really. Seems extreme, right? And there are many other celebs that follow the teachings including Tobey Maguire, Helen Hunt, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Felicity Huffman.
13. Alanis Morissette
If you remember the pop star Alanis Morissette, you may recall that she kind of broke the mold as far as female pop stars go. Although beautiful in her own right, Alanis didn’t flaunt her body like Madonna or dance with her booty shaking like JLo. Alanis did however, mention personal information in her lyrics, like having an oral encounter with Full House’s Dave Coulier in a movie theatre. And that’s not even the embarrassing part. What’s even worse is Alanis’ striking details about her breastfeeding habits. She let her children breastfeed until they were 4 years old. For those of you who don’t know how big a 4-year-old is, they’re huge. They can walk and talk, and most of them are potty trained. They are in pre-school and some of them can even read already. They do have memories by this time, and (for Alanis’ sake) a full set of teeth!
12. January Jones
January Jones is a beautiful blonde, who looks good in any hair color, really. She appeared in American Wedding, and then rose to fame in Mad Men. Then she had a kid, did something disgusting and let the whole world know about it. January Jones ate her and her baby’s placenta. If you don’t have kids, or you’re not a doctor, then you don’t know what a placenta is. Sure you may have read about it in biology class, but you have to see it to believe it. After the baby is born, it’s a huge relief, right? The mom is so grateful, crying, laughing, and the dad is so proud and taking pics. Meanwhile, there is a heavy mass of mangled bloody flesh, being birthed. Usually nobody notices, and since the baby’s out most people don’t even care. But some people keep the mangled flesh blob that the baby lived off of in the womb. They take it home and bury it under a tree for good luck. Other moms eat the damn thing. They claim it has some essential vitamins in it but you can buy that in a pill at Walgreens. And if you are whipping up a placenta smoothie, don’t brag about it on Facebook. That’s just gross.
11. Chrissy Teigen
If you know who Chrissy Teigen is, you probably know she is stunningly beautiful, and also a bit of a social media addict. She likes to post pics on Instagram and Tweet witty remarks about everything. She and her husband, John Legend, have been rising into the A-list ranks lately, and one piece of that puzzle was a naked Instagram pic of the two of them in bed, with Chrissy very topless. But that was a while ago, the couple has kids now, and Chrissy has already revealed too much online. Here are some of her most embarrassing motherhood Tweets. “[The baby] just kicked me in the face and then farted in it. The disrespect!!” Not bad, but it gets worse. “Just spray tanned around my breast pump outline. the logistical challenges of a healthy beach glow while boobing are incredible.” Didn’t know boobing was a verb. “No one told me i would be coming home in diapers too.” Now that’s just gross.
10. Gwyneth Paltrow
You never want to see your mom being weak. And that’s exactly what Gwyneth sounded like in this interview: “It’s much harder for me. I think it’s different when you have an office job, because it’s routine and you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening. When you’re shooting a movie, they’re like, ‘We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,’ and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult.” Okay, so the acting business that was handed to you, and pays you millions of dollars makes it more difficult to raise kids than just having a regular 9 to 5? Obviously this comment on E! News sparked a huge backlash of haters, and many people, specifically moms, still don’t like her to this day. Don’t ever reveal how “difficult” your life is when you’re rich and famous. Poor folks will hate you forever.
Beyonce has been caught numerous times in public breastfeeding her child, Blue Ivy. And now that she’s pregnant with twins, her PR machine is already rolling. She did a tribute to moms at the latest Grammy ceremony that was dripping with beauty, cheese and pretentiousness. And that’s what Beyonce reveals too much of– everything. She lets everybody know every detail of what is going on. Most celebs try to keep the details of their child somewhat veiled, but Queen B divulges all data. You can google it and find out when and where Ivy was born, that her nursery has more square footage than your house, and what her favorite color is. She even has her on Instagram already. Many moms set up Facebook accounts for their kids, but do the kids really want that tubbie shot online when they turn 13? I don’t think so.
8. Mayim Bialik
Everybody knows this actress. Mayim has been in the business since playing a child alcoholic on MacGyver, a young Bette Midler on Beaches, and then she got her own coming-of-age television show on Blossom. She took some time off there for a while, but then she came roaring back on the scene as Dr. Amy Fowler on The Big Bang Theory. Many people don’t know that she’s a doctor in real life, too. Her UCLA PhD dissertation was titled: “Hypothalamic regulation in relation to maladaptive, obsessive-compulsive, affiliative, and satiety behaviors in Prader-Willi syndrome”. Now that’s a mouth full. She also wrote a vegan cookbook and a book about parenting called Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way. The book is about attachment parenting, or what basically sounds like a human kangaroo pouch. The mother stays in contact with the child physically for as long as possible. That’s just way too much quality time. No wonder she’s breastfeeding her kids on the subway.
7. Alicia Silverstone
Here’s another actress who wrote a vegan book and revealed strange parenting habits. Alicia Silverstone was a 1990s queen, starring in flicks like Clueless and The Crush, as well as a few Aerosmith videos. Then things started going downhill after she became a mom, and let us know way too much of what was going on. First off, she named her son Bear, and then she released a video of pre-mastication. That means she chewed up some food and then spit it into her infant’s mouth like a bird would do. Yeah, that’s disgusting. Just try to get that image out of your mind. Now imagine that it’s your mom doing it to you, and it’s that much worse. Now imagine on top of that your name is Bear. Double ouch.
6. Jenny McCarthy
Nobody wants to think that their mom is an idiot. You want your mom to be smart and clever, regardless of her level of formal education. But then there are moms like Jenny McCarthy, who just say the stupidest things about far-fetched medical science theories that they have no evidence to support. I get it, you know? If your child is hurting, then you are hurting. You want to find a cure. You want to know why your child is suffering, from a condition that the world knows little about. But the reaction is not to go on a goose chase or a witch hunt and vilify vaccines– one of the championing medical practices of modern society. Please leave it to the doctors, Jen. We don’t need the mumps to come back, all right?
5. Farrah Abraham
Do we really have to go into detail with this one? Let’s put all the bull aside and really state this how it is. This woman was in a professional adult film, with a professional adult star, James Deen. This wasn’t just some candid-camera romp, like Kim Kardashian and Ray-J. This was without a doubt a pro video recorded specifically for distribution and sale. The title you ask? Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom. And the sequel, Farrah 2: Backdoor and More. Great, huh? Then there’s all of the plastic surgery and lavish spending habits, and it just gets worse and worse. Some say that your formative years are defining; whatever is done in those years will be repeated through the rest your life. This teen mom is certainly proving that theory to be true.
4. Michelle Duggar
You guys remember Michelle Duggar? She was the super religious mom on that nutso reality show, 19 Kids and Counting, about she and Jim Bob and their 45,697 kids. For this entry, Michelle revealed a view on clothing that was way over the top. She wrote that: “We felt like we needed to be covered from our neck to below our knees mainly because God talks about the thigh being uncovered, and how that’s nakedness and shame.” She went on to say that: “We just want to keep the thighs and torso covered; we don’t want to play peekaboo so that there’s a visual element that might defraud someone. For us the definition of the word defrauding is to stir up desires in someone else that cannot be righteously fulfilled.” Her extreme child rearing beliefs certainly seemed to have backfired with her eldest son Josh Duggar. He was accused of molesting 4 of his sisters and was also busted for his account on the cheating website Ashley Madison.
3. Kristen Bell
Here’s another actress that just can’t stop bragging about her breast pump. Why is this such a common statement from all these Hollywood women? It’s a common practice, millions of women do it, but for some reason these celebs keep diving into detail about their nursing methods. Kristen Bell went as far as posting a picture of her breast pump and the various tubes and receptacles on Twitter. Good for you, Kristen, glad it helped get your figure back, but it’s really not something that needs to be shared online. She also declared that being pregnant felt like swallowing a live trout, which is not the most flattering description of carrying your child. Then she said in an interview that her first born, Lincoln, would always be her favorite. Wait till her second born, Delta, gets a load of that! Otherwise, Kristen has been careful to keep their children out of photos, and her husband, Dax Shephard, Tweeted: “Please boycott magazines that run pics of ‘celebrity children.’ They shouldn’t be punished for who their parents are.”
2. Kendra Wilkinson
Here’s another mom who has plenty of naked images to be found online forever. She has graced the pages of Playboy several times, and even starred in The Girls Next Door, with Hugh Hefner himself. You have to wonder how that will mess with a kid’s upbringing. Also there’s that scandal about Kendra’s husband, former NFL star Hank Baskett, having an affair with a transvestite. But other than that, how else can a mom or dad embarrass the hell out of their kids? Well, how about an image of your mother sucking on her own teat? Here’s what Kendra said in an interview: “I went to Eve nightclub in Vegas and my boobs started leaking. I couldn’t do anything so I breastfed myself. And it tasted sweet, too!” Gross! Not only did she drink her own milk but she even liked the taste of it. I find it odd that she had to drink it herself. I’m sure there was some creep there that would have volunteered. I also wonder if she asked her husband, and he was like, hell no!
1. Julie Bowen
Julie Bowen plays the mother of three kids in the hilarious sitcom Modern Family. What many fans don’t know is that Julie also had twins of her own. In the show’s pilot episode, if you look closely, you can see a baby bump. Just like Claire Dunphy, Julie Bowen can be pretty frank, so if you ask a question, she’ll give you an honest answer. She has been open about the fact that the twins were unplanned, and that she would have preferred just one. That’s a burn for one of the twins, but which one? She has also said that her kids “own” her and described them as “stunningly sophisticated, and yet they’re tiny, drunk animals and they don’t know what’s going on half the time.” She even appeared on Lopez Tonight and showed an intimate image of the twins sucking away, one on each breast, called the “double football hold.” Bowen said, “It’s like two little liposuction machines on you. They suck the fat out of you.”
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