Beauty is skin deep. Truer words were never spoken. Take one look at Hollywood, and you’ll see that it’s filled with perfect looking people doing the most imperfect of things. We all make mistakes, because to err is human. But fallibilities become unforgivable when people break the rules on purpose, have a wanton disregard for others, and place their own desires above all else. Just who are these sinners that are so ugly on the inside? More often than not in Hollywood, it’s the beautiful people.
Celebrities that look good tend to act bad. And the better looking they are, the worse they act. It’s like beauty and morality have an inverse relationship. The blonde bombshell is the one most likely to be a witch. The muscular man is the most apt to be a total crumb bum. The multi-millionaire will be a tight wad. The best athlete will have the poorest sportsmanship. For a while, these people coast by because of their beauty. They’re not blameless, because it’s partially our fault for being dazzled by their smoke and mirrors. But with enough bad acts, we become desensitized to their outward attractiveness, and start seeing them for what they really are: hideous creatures. It wasn’t hard for us to find 15 celebrities who have beauty that is only skin deep. These people are ugly in the truest sense of the word.
15. Miranda Kerr
We’re not saying Miranda Kerr is a gold digger, but she ain’t messin’ with no broke-broke. First, she met and married Orlando Bloom. Then, she had two billionaire boyfriends who literally fought over her. Now, she’s engaged to Snapchat creator (and billionaire) Evan Spiegel. Does she have ulterior motives? Probably. Does she need to marry money? Definitely not, since she’s worth millions and endorses everything from cosmetics to jewelry. It’s every girl’s dream to marry a prince, but she seems especially greedy. Kerr wants to get her hands on every penny she can. And what is most unattractive about her is that she is haughty. She comes across like she really believes that she is worthy of true wealth. As if strutting around in her underwear for Victoria’s Secret took some special skill. Honey, if you like money that’s fine with us. Just own up to it.
14. Leonardo DiCaprio
Leonardo DiCaprio has been in more models than Dexatrim. He’s had less meaningful relationships than he’s had STD scares. And he has just as many “yes men” following him around as Kim Kardashian has paparazzi. DiCaprio is as honest as Ryan Lochte, as loyal as Kristen Stewart and as even tempered as Charlie Sheen. The only good thing about him is that he’s meticulous about birth control. Have you noticed that he doesn’t have any baby mamas? DiCaprio says that he doesn’t want to bring a child into this crazy world we live in. We couldn’t agree more – we don’t want any Leo, Jr.’s running around.
13. Christie Brinkley
Christie Brinkley has managed to sustain a career that has spanned decades. She’s a buxom blonde that put models in their twenties to shame. But shame on her for her major attitude problem. Brinkley loves to play the victim, and we’re sick and tired of hearing the same blah-bitty-blah-blah year after year. She’s been divorced four times, and it’s always the man’s fault. She’s been objectified by the media. She’s been discriminated against because of her age. Grow up, Christie – you’re in your sixties! The worst of it is that Brinkley thinks she’s worked oh-so-hard to get where she is today. She’s always yammering about how she stays in shape by working out and eating right. We’re sure that hasn’t hurt, but the fact of the matter is that she was simply lucky to be born with good genes. She needs to stop acting like she has anything to do with her success.
12. Pippa Middleton
Is it just us, or does her royal hotness seem smug? By accident of DNA she is related to Kate Middleton who married Prince William because she was fortunate enough to be born to millionaires who were connected to high society and could afford to send their daughter to an expensive university. Are you following all this? Middleton is beyond blessed and doesn’t even acknowledge it. She thinks that she deserves all that she has. Heck, she probably even thinks that she earned it. Since her sister Kate rose to prominence, we’ve been besieged with photos of Middleton behaving badly. She drinks, she hangs with the wrong crowd, and she spends money like it’s going out of style. At least put on a show for the public and do some charity work.
11. Christina Applegate
Christina Applegate has a master’s degree in whining. No matter what project she is associated with, she finds fault. When she starred on Married… with Children she had a job that any actress would kill for, but she complained that she wasn’t taken seriously because of her good looks. When she starred on Samantha Who? she blamed the show’s failure on audiences not respecting women in her age group. And when she got movie role after movie role, all she did was try to garner sympathy for herself and go into lengthy detail about her health issues. Applegate has enjoyed a phenomenal career, but you’d never know it from listening to her.
10. Kate Winslet
Kate Winslet is the most ungrateful person in Hollywood. She acts like Titanic ruined her career, when in reality it gave her a career. Titanic is our generation’s Gone with the Wind, but Winslet doesn’t even have the class to honor it as the icon it is. She wants us to pity her for being overexposed after the film’s success, to cringe with her at having to hear the theme song over and over again, and to feel bad for her because she didn’t care for the end product. Winslet has the right to her own opinion, but it’s in poor taste to bite the hand that feeds you. Why does she feel compelled to be so vocal in her criticism of the work that gave her stardom? Her fans feel insulted and abandoned that she has trashed a piece of art that they love so much.
9. Jennifer Lawrence
Pride is one of the seven deadly sins, and Jennifer Lawrence has it in spades. She lost a lot of admirers when she said that she only finds a guy attractive about once a year. WTF?! Did we hear her right? She has the opportunity to rub elbows with the most elite people, from actors to artists to athletes, and yet she doesn’t find any of them attractive physically or mentally? We just can’t wrap our heads around that. Most people interpreted her statement to actually mean that she doesn’t find anyone good enough for her. She came across as arrogant to the nth degree. Lawrence might be on top now, but she isn’t any more special than Demi Moore was in the 80s, Julia Roberts was in the 90s, or Cameron Diaz was in the 2000s. Lawrence needs to get over herself – because we certainly are.
8. Nicky Hilton
Nicky Hilton recently married an aristocrat, and the public couldn’t have been more turned off. She was totally putting on airs, as she had a wedding fit for a princess – it was held at Kensington Palace, after all. On paper she’s an heiress, but in real life she’s a spoiled brat. She just gets overshadowed by older sister Paris. People view her as a relentless social climber who is trying to distance herself from her days as a celebutante through marriage. But our memories aren’t that short. We vividly recall her quickie Vegas marriage, the pics of her partying nonstop, and her constant in-fighting with famous family and friends. Hilton is a flawless beauty on the outside, but she’s rotten to the core. Doesn’t the Hilton family have any good ones?
7. Gisele Bundchen
Gisele Bundchen is known the world over for her attractiveness. But do you know what’s even more attractive than being tall, thin and blonde? Inner beauty. Too bad she doesn’t have any. Bundchen was on thin ice with fans when she claimed that she considered Tom Brady’s child with ex-Bridget Moynahan, to be her own. They interpreted it to be a slap in the face to the child’s mother. Then, they disliked her even more when she openly criticized the Patriots while praising her husband. She came across as a bad sport. But she became truly ugly when she posted pictures of herself surrounded by her entourage, which most labeled as smug. She was holding her baby, while her people were serving her every need. They were doing her hair, her nails and her makeup while she lounged in her pricey pad. She was the poster child for why the 99 percent hates the 1 percent. Now that Brady’s true colors have been revealed thanks to “Deflategate”, most people have given up on hoping that Bundchen will come back down to Earth. They think the two deserve each other. If only they’d move to her homeland of Brazil.
6. Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson is dimwitted, and there’s nothing uglier than ignorance. Other stars have bettered themselves by going to college, but Simpson can’t seem to fit it into her busy schedule of eating cheeseburgers and drinking chardonnay. James Franco acts, writes, paints and still managed to earn multiple master’s degrees. Marcia Cross is a licensed psychologist. And Emma Watson attended Brown while at the height of her popularity. Simpson skyrocketed to superstardom by being a bimbo, but isn’t it time she gave it a rest? That persona is so old that it went out with flip phones, body glitter and Myspace. Doesn’t she get tired of being stupid? At some point it’s got to be frustrating to read at a third grade level.
5. Ben Affleck
Ben Affleck is a raging alcoholic, a degenerate gambler and a compulsive womanizer. He frequents strip clubs, adult shops and Patriots games. He speaks profanely, smokes like a chimney and whines like a baby. This guy is almost as odious as Kanye West. He was once an attractive guy, but now that we know his true personality, looking at him makes our throats close up, our eyes weep and our skin crawl. This one-time Batman has become less jocular and more like the Joker with each passing year. The movie Gone Girl was titled after his life, since he’s gone from Jennifer to Jennifer. And like his movie He’s Just Not That Into You, we’re just not that into him. This Smokin’ Ace is no longer A Force of Nature – he’s like Pearl Harbor, one big bomb.
4. Anne Hathaway
Lindsay Lohan ruined her career by being a party girl. Ricky Martin ruined his career by coming out of the closet. Tara Reid ruined her career by getting plastic surgery. And Anne Hathaway ruined hers by being an ice queen. Even global warming can’t melt her. A term was coined for how people felt about her: “Hathahate.” She comes across as a major phony. Hathaway always acts like, well, she’s acting. She’ll be bawdy on a talk show, be elegant on the red carpet, and be perky in interviews. Hathaway also takes herself too seriously. She isn’t gracious about receiving awards, but is instead haughty. Her acceptance speeches have been over-rehearsed, and she even called out an agency that misspelled her name. And what does she have to say about all this? She blames her looks – she thinks that it makes people uneasy around her. Sister, you haven’t been good looking since your role in Get Smart.
3. Tom Hardy
Tom Hardy is a media darling right now. He has rugged good looks, a devil may care attitude and a British accent. It’s a winning combination. But this guy has some serious baggage. He’s a former addict, a hot head and has been accused of felonies ranging from joyriding to theft. And the cherry on top is that this tattooed punk grew up in a privileged household where he could do no wrong. He went to boarding school, palled around with connected kids and dated serious arm candy. He made all the wrong choices, but has suffered none of the consequences. Hardy brags about his troubled youth in a way that is less repentant and more “look what I got away with.” He’s having the last laugh, that son of a gun. Hardy-har-har.
2. Emmy Rossum
Emmy Rossum plays Fiona Gallagher on Showtime’s hit series Shameless. She glamorizes promiscuity, drugs and alcohol, and a disregard for the law. She also frequently appears in the buff. We absolutely love her for it. She helps make the show hilarious while it pulls on our heart strings. What we don’t love, though, is what a hypocrite she is in real life. She talks endlessly about how her mother instilled Jewish morality and ethics in her. Say what? How can she be so devout, yet promote such low brow behavior? Rossum doesn’t walk the walk, but she talks the talk. Why doesn’t she just shut up already?
1. Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift looks like a fashion plate on the outside, and like Medusa on the inside. She goes through men like a woman goes through maxi-pads on the heaviest day of her cycle.
But the worst is how she treats other women. Remember when she flipped out against Tina Fey and Amy Poehler when they told Michael J. Fox’s son to stay away from her in a joking manner? Swift responded by posting that there is a special place in hell for women that don’t support other women. As if she’s any example! Everyone knows she is the mean girl to end all mean girls. She’s queen bee of her “girl squad” which is really a gang just as dangerous as the Bloods and the Crips. They use the weapons of women: shunning, trash talking and lies.