Most parents have no idea what they are doing ninety percent of the time. They never had any training and the self-help books only help the publishers’ bank accounts. So sometimes, parents get stuck in some compromising situations. They have to make split decisions, and often the best decision is the hardest one to come by.
Truly, the only parenting training you have is what you learned from watching your own parents. And when it comes to celebrities, especially kid stars, in most cases, many of their parents weren’t around. Sure, they were present in some form or another, but the kid was so busy working that they didn’t get to observe very many hours of parenting in action. Their childhood was so adult-like with its tight schedules and demands, that some stars already thought they were adults that knew it all. However, you’re never an adult until you raise a child. Hell, you never really feel like an adult even after having kids, and becoming a parent really messes with your head. In some cases, a split personality may develop. Where there’s a responsible parent there, there’s also the immature party animal that you once were and still long to be.
Obviously, parenthood can be stressful in ways you never imagined possible. Add an illness, sleep deprivation, or a little alcohol into the mix, and you have a recipe for disaster. What we have captured in this list are celebrity parents in their worst moments, which they don’t want you to see. They may not necessarily be “bad” parents all the time, but they certainly are in these pictures.
15. Gisele: Choking Hazard
This picture looks pretty harmless, but danger hides in the most beautiful of places. Take a closer look at those tiny little earlobes. Those baby earrings are a severe choking hazard, and any normal person would never dream of putting those things on a child that young. Of all the offenses on the list, this may be the most common. It is our duty here and now to tell you to never allow a baby to wear earrings. Aside from child survival, those little diamonds are totally going to get lost. Grownups lose earrings constantly, so how hard do you think it is for a baby to lose theirs? And let’s say they do put a gem in their mouth and they manage to not choke to death on it. Guess what? They’ll be passing it soon, and you’ll be sorting through stools to find it. Gisele can pay the nanny extra to do that. You can’t. Don’t worry, the baby survived. Vivian is four now.
14. Kourtney Kardashian: Unsafe Play Area
Have you ever tried sitting on a car? Even with a full-grown body of at least 150 pounds, you can still slide around on the slippery paint. Car hoods are sleek and smooth. They’re designed that way to let wind and rain roll right off. A little kid may look cute sitting there, but it’s actually a treacherous place to let them sit on. Even worse, little Kourtney is too short to reach her kids and get them down off of the giant Mercedes SUV. And if a kid fell off, the car is too big for her to run around in time and catch them. Where’s Lamar Odom when you need him? Now that would seem much more acceptable. If Lamar stood there and towered over the situation, then maybe this would be a little safer. But Lamar’s kinda out of the picture now, huh? What about Kris Humphries? He could reach the kids. Oh, he’s gone too? Bruce Jenner might be tall enough. No? Okay, I give up. Sorry, haven’t watched the show in a while.
13. Britney Spears: Driving A Car?
Not long ago, Britney Spears was always doing something crazy. There was the head-shaving thing and the smashing up the car with the umbrella ordeal. Then, you never knew if she would remember her under garments when she went out on the town in a short skirt. Here’s good old Britney teaching her son how to drive. Too bad she’s about 13 years too soon. Letting a kid ride in a car without a car seat, let alone a seatbelt, can receive a fine. Letting them ride without a belt on is obviously another offense. But letting a toddler try to drive? Come on, Britney. This is really poor parenting. Keep the kid safe. She has someone else sitting in the passenger seat. They should have spoken up when they saw this accident waiting to happen.
12. Hilary Duff: Passionate Kissing?
This is a sweet picture to some people, while others found it to be rather offensive. It’s a fact that parents can’t help but kiss their kids. It’s an instinct. To a parent, their kids are the cutest, sweetest things on earth and they can’t help but express their affection with a smooch. Maybe the problem with this picture isn’t the kiss but the degree with which the kiss is given. It is pretty full-mouthed, if you ask me. Usually a mom’s lips are puckered up tighter than that. And the boy’s mouth looks a little open as well. But it’s always the parent’s job to overcompensate because you never know what some silly little kid is going to bring to the table. He might not even be kissing it at all, but instead trying to blow a raspberry on her face.
11. Farrah Abraham: Constant Exploitation
Here’s a young and beautiful reality TV star who took her money and her publicity and used it in the worse possible way. The saddest part is the way that the daughter has been involved since the very beginning. Ever since 16 and Pregnant, and then Teen Mom, Farrah has been exploiting the hell out of her offspring. In this picture, Farrah is using sweet little Sophia to sell something…again…and Sophia doesn’t seem too happy about it. Many people were outraged when Farrah dolled up Sophia with a bunch of eye makeup and had her lay down in a tub to take a closeup pic. Most people were offended by the appearance of the 7-year-old, claiming she looked way too provocative. And they’re right! You don’t put eyeshadow on a 7-year-old girl, get the child all wet, and have her gaze into the lens without smiling. That’s super creepy. Farrah surely did it just to get more publicity. I guess the hoopla wore off too soon after her p*rn movie was released.
10. Kim Kardashian: Strangulation Risk
Yeah, it looks like Kim K is already teaching her child how to take selfies, do hair, get in bed, and pass out with jewelry on. Sorry to break it to you, mother of the year, but you can’t let your kid sleep with a necklace on. That sucker can get caught up under a pillow or doubled over on her head, and really hurt the sweet little kid. Or if the necklace is one of those fake, cheap Mardi Gras-styled ones, those little beads can pop off and she could end up choking on them. This is no joke people. Serious stuff here. Babies don’t know what’s going on. They just see stuff and put it in their mouth. So you always want to keep anything harmful far out of their reach. Hopefully, this was just another staged, trying-to-look-cute Kim K selfie and the necklace was promptly removed.
9. David Beckham: The D-Bag Twins
Some people might say that this is a picture of a father and his son resembling each other in the cutest of ways. Other people are repulsed, thinking that this is one d-bag teaching another generation of d-bags to be d-baggier than ever. And you have to admit that if anything signifies a hipster d-bag, it’s the over-sized beanie. Maybe on a winter day, you can wear one while you’re outside in the frigid air, waiting for a train or something, but not when you’re inside watching a ball game; and courtside seats no less, making absolutely sure that everyone will see you. Well, hopefully Beck’s attempt at fashion brainwashing will backfire and the kid will grow up, see a picture of himself wearing the stupid thing, and swear to never wear one again.
8. Mayim Bialik: Breastfeeding In Filth
Okay, so breastfeeding is cool now, right? It is healthy for the baby. They get the vitamins, nutrients, and antibodies they need to stay healthy and fight off diseases. Well, guess what? They’re gonna need some extra antibodies to be fighting off all the germs on that subway train. Can you imagine whipping out your tit in one of the filthiest environments on earth? An old lady probably peed on that seat three stops before Mayim had a squat, and now there’s a sweet over-aged baby suckling her. Bacteria is everywhere. Have you ever seen a subway car getting washed? I haven’t either. I’d imagine it’s done with a hose and some dish soap, but that’s not going to cleanse all the nooks and crannies. This is surely bad parenting. It’s the bacterial equivalent of dropping food on the ground and enforcing the thirty-minute rule.
7. Britney Spears: Dropping Baby
Okay, classic Brit is back. And why not? If you google “celeb bad parent,” she’s by far the number one hit. The Lohans pop up too, but they’re for an older-aged based list. Lindsay was old enough to do plenty of screwing up on her own. Today, we’re sticking to the little kids who are still dependent on their parents for everything and don’t go out drinking, smoking, and sleeping with half the men in Hollywood. Here’s a basic parenting tip: “Hold on tight to your kid!” Britney seriously almost dropped this one. A guy had to rush up and help her. If the dude wasn’t there, this could have been so tragic. Britney may have been drinking. There are other pictures taken of her on the same day, same outfit, and she’s tossing back a tumbler of some liquid that makes her laugh a lot.
6. Kristin Cavallari: Malnutrition
When the internet trolls saw this one, they were appalled at the jagged bones popping out of this young boy’s back. This is one of the son’s of former NFL quarterback, Jay Cutler, and reality TV star, Kristin Cavallari. The boy does look pretty thin. People complained that Kristin needed to fatten both boys up and give them some carbs. Kristin wrote a book called Balancing in Heels and in it, she detailed her Laguna Beach days and her smoothie breakfast diet that supposedly “tasted like ice cream.” Her ingredients included banana, avocado, and spinach. That’s no ice cream flavor I’m scooping up anytime soon. So everyone assumed that the health nut was feeding her boys rabbit food instead of pancakes and waffles. But you know what? It doesn’t matter what you feed little boys because all the ones I’ve met don’t eat anything. You could give them pizza or even mac and cheese, and if they’re not in the mood, they’ll starve themselves. And little kids are often rather bony.
5. Jessica Biel: Major Tantrum
This kid is losing his sh*t in this pic. And what’s just as awful to witness is an outdoor shot of Jessica Biel with no makeup on. She looks about ten years older than I thought she was. But let’s not be too hard on old mom. She’s probably been up all night dealing with this little kid, and she’s at her wits’ end. Besides, bad parents, good parents, grandparents, whoever, they all have to deal with a tantrum now and then. Tantrums can be avoided if the kid is well fed, but that’s easier said than done. However, a sly parent can calm his/her kid down in a heartbeat. All they need to say is, “You want a lollipop?” But sometimes, “crunchy” parents think sweets and any other types of “bribes” are not a good idea. Maybe at home, you can play health-nut hardball, but please don’t do it in public.
4. Jessica Alba: Helicopter Parent
Many of the parents on this list were being reckless. They had too many drinks and tried carrying their kid down the sidewalk or decided to let their baby drive home. Or they were trying to look cute and nearly choked their kid to death. However, in this pic, we have just the opposite. Jessica Alba is now the dreaded helicopter parent. Look at the size of this kid. She is definitely old enough to handle that scooter. It’s the three-wheeled variety, people! It’s not even a two-wheeled Razor scooter. The three-wheelers are extremely easy to ride. And the kid is mad because her mom won’t let go of the handle bars. Give the girl some space, Alba! But you know what’s worse than a helicopter parent? An oops helicopter parent. Alba is hovering closely because she knows she screwed up big time. Ever heard of head trauma, Alba? Look again. This bad mom forgot the helmets on both kids. And she’s holding her smartphone. Probably ignored her kid all day to look at that thing.
3. Michael Jackson: Balcony Infamy
Remember this throwback? Here, we have the worst parent pic in celebrity parenting history. This image shocked the entire world. I’m not sure at what height of crazy Michael Jackson was during this photo, but he was getting up there and this shot took him to a whole ‘nother level. Not only does Blanket have a blanket on his head, but the poor kid is dangling off a balcony. And the scariest part is that he’s being dangled by a crazy person. People don’t know if he’s gonna try the first baby crowd-surf or what was going on in that crazy mind. Michael Jackson has to be one of the strangest people in popular history. The guy is a mystery, with his exploited childhood, his penchant for young boys, his plastic surgery addiction, odd clothes, and goofy mansion full of toys. What in the world was that guy thinking? We’ll never know. He did make some damn good music, though.
2. Drew Barrymore: Princess Addiction
Okay, this is an easy one. Listen Drew, this is a yoga class, not a tea party. Some parents do this to no end—they let their pretty little girl wear a princess dress like 24/7. Put the dress away, people! Keep it in the house. Put some sweat pants on that girl so she doesn’t trip on her skirt and fall on her face. The worst of all princesses is the ballerina princess. Oh, lord. The girls walk into the hokey-pokey dance school. There’s a huge full-length mirror on the wall, and they just stand there and stare at themselves. “I’m daddy’s little angel,” they might say, or, “My mommy told me I’m the prettiest girl in the world.” Well guess what, kid? Life’s not always going to be a fairytale. I’m not saying you should nip their dreams in the bud, but sometimes, parents can be a bit too heavy on fantasy and lenient on reality.
1. Beyonce: Hot Tub Violation
Okay, this might be the most legitimate complaint on the entire list. There’s a reason you aren’t supposed to put your kid in a hot tub. The Red Cross says that children younger than five “cannot cope physically with the heat, which may cause hypothermia and other harmful effects.” WebMD agrees and adds, “A baby’s thin skin makes it more susceptible to overheating.” Add those facts to this pic of poor little Blue Ivy looking like she’s passed out, and we may have a serious child endangerment case here. But, hold on, this is just a photo and pictures can be deceiving. Maybe it’s a tub that has bubbles and no heat. You never know. If Beyonce is not guilty of overheating her child, she’s certainly guilty spoiling her. The little girl’s bedroom has more square-footage than my entire house.