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10 Movies We Never Want To See Again (And 5 We Can’t Get Enough Of)

Entertainment
10 Movies We Never Want To See Again (And 5 We Can’t Get Enough Of)

There are more movies to enjoy now more than ever and with the internet they’re even easier to get at than ever. With such an abundance of choices a lot of us still find ourselves going back to old trusty movies we’ve enjoyed over and over again. Putting them on our favourite movies lists and arguing to friends over beer or coffee with firm conviction and justification as to why we put them there.

Whether it’s the actors, the plot, the topic, genre, or how many one-liners the movie has, we all gravitate to a select few films more than once for a bunch of different, personal reasons.

The same can be said for movies we never want to sit through again. Whether it’s the actors, the plot, the topic, genre, or how many times we cried or hours of sleep lost due to paralyzing psychological trauma, there are oodles of movies we’d rather prop up a crooked table with than watch for a second time.

Here are 5 we can’t get enough of and 10 we never want to see again.

15. Over And Over: Dumb And Dumber

This comedic classic was a box office success and spent years in the late ‘90s on TBS Superstation and Peach Tree TV’s Saturday afternoon movie slot, making it a constant visual stimulant in the homes and hearts of North America.

Aside from being one of the most quotable movies around, the fact that 20 years after its release the overwhelming popularity of the film stood beside other classics like Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)and Caddyshack (1980) and Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels reunited in simpleton bliss to make a pretty on-par sequel.

From “we landed on the moon!” to “Harry, I took care of it”, from “kick his ass, Seabass” to “Big Gulps, eh? Well… see ya, later!” this movie’s an easy watch, every time, with that rare je ne sais quoi comedic element that makes it just as funny the 30th time as it was the first.

Still wanna go to Aspen?

14. Never Again: Schindler’s List

Easily one of the best dramatic period flicks around and was the talk of the town for years but it’s long, and it’s real, and it’s hard to gain the energy and mental strength to bring yourself to watch it another time.

A powerful topic and an even more powerful story of a German business man who hires Jewish ghetto folk on the cheap while at the same time saving them from being sent to concentration camps. The wealthy business man keeps his status with the Nazi Party in order to do what he can to help them stay alive. There’s touching, gut-blasting feels all throughout as Schindler bribes for his Jewish workers freedom over and over again, only to be forced to leave them to save his own.

13. Never Again: Requiem For A Dream

Sweet Santa Claus sh*t this movie is a psychological mass shooting of the human condition.

Watching this movie is the equivalent of suspecting you have ball cancer, waiting in the waiting room for two hours only to hear the horrifying diagnosis that indeed you do have ball cancer.

Infomercials, Evangelical grifters, drug addicted sons and mothers, this movie is depression wrapped in a DVD case. I don’t know of anyone that’s said, “man, ya know what I’ve been meaning to watch again, Requiem for a Dream.”

Any motivation or life goals you thought you were on your way to achieving are thrown away like a dirty syringe after watching this dark as deep-space piece of sh*t. The only good thing that may have come out of it is an increase in rehabilitation check-ins at Addictions Services.

12. Never Again: The Wrestler

Like many of us who grew up in the ‘80s and ‘90s, professional wrestlers were idolized just as much, if not more, than the Wayne Gretzkys and Bo Jacksons of the day. Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Brett Hart, Shawn Michaels, and the Undertaker were bigger than life. They were heroes. Superheroes, even.

The Wrestler tugs on characters like those and chronicles an aged wrestler out of his prime and fighting to find work, love, and a relationship with his estranged daughter. Instead he finds a sh*tty day job slicing meat, constant reminders he’s not the badass he once was, and whores. And cocaine.

As Randy “the Ram” ignored all his chest pains and pleas to finish his final match with “the Ayatollah” by his opponent himself, he climbs the f*cking ropes, looks out into the crowd to see his daughter has left, and takes what we can assume is his final plunge off the top turnbuckle. Sad sh*t. It leaves you feeling like, “what’s the point of it all.”

11. Over And Over: Ghostbusters

Let’s face it, ‘bustin’ makes everyone feel good.

I don’t know how many times I watched this movie growing up but the guy at the corner store by my folks’ place would tell you it was on the reg’.

With the sweet underdog element, a couple of unlikely love stories, and that famed scene with an over-sized, imagination raiding marshmallow man that forced the three poltergeist-fighting, New York City saving scientists and one token black guy to do what they vowed to never do: cross the streams, this movie does anything but get old.

And don’t forget about the killer before-its-time visual effects of apparitions and specters that take over NY and usher in the climax of the film when that d*ckhead shuts down the containment tank in the basement of the famed fire-house turned GB HQ. Egon’s face says it all.

10. Never Again: True Story

A movie that you wouldn’t expect to captivate you the way this one has the ability to. James Franco and Jonah Hill play dramedic (dramatic/comedic) roles and do it with conviction. It’s a mental march up hill and down and by the time the thing is over you just turn off the TV and sit in silence for a minute. “Jesus.”

Franco plays a professional manipulator and is accused murdering his wife and two young daughters and assumes the name and identity of Hill’s character, a journalist under fire from being accused of plagiarism with the New York Times.

Hill eventually winds up making regular visits to the prison Franco is staying at before his big trial and sits with Franco, writing his story to try and save his career. Franco eventually gets Hill’s head under his mental thumb by telling him stories from his life that are a little too close to home for Hill.

A total mind f*ck of an ending, the greasy character shows his real colours come the final scenes and while it’s a good ending, it’s not worth sitting through another time. Give us This is The End and Pineapple Express.

9. Never Again: Cabin Fever

It was promoted as the next great teen horror flick starring Boy Meets World’s stud Rider Strong (Shawn Hunter) and ended up being a major dud. Like, a maaaajor dud.

A gaggle of teens are on vacation in the woods when sh*t goes south and something starts killing them off. That something was due to a dead animal in a stream that the remaining survivors stumble on mid-movie and realize that, just like in Space Jam, it’s something in the water.

Not even worth a single watch this piece of rotten wood is a shameful display of cinematography and what a shame too, we were all rooting for Shawn Hunter to get out of the trailer park and make something of his life. Too bad, too, maybe Girl Meets World wouldn’t have become a thing if he had of passed on this role.

8. Never Again: Sahara

What a piece of sh*t. Even with a stellar cast of big-names like Matthew McConaughey, Penelope Cruz, Rainn Wilson, William H. Macy, and the always funny Steve Zahn this groaner isn’t worth any kind of attention.

A big ol’ fashioned waste of time, they likely show this movie in the common room at the geriatric ward of hospitals all over the world, boring the already half-awake, on-their-way-out audience. The only way this would receive a second watch is if the old bastard forgot he already watched it. I’m sure it happens all the time, there’s no substance to bite into that would warrant the memory keepers in anyone’s brain to remind them that they had already sat through this garbage. Careful, it could happen to you, too.

7. Over And Over: Step Brothers

The Dumb and Dumber of the late ‘00s this movie might be the most underrated comedy to come out in the last ten years.

Quotable to the point of annoying and devilishly ingenious, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly play the roles of two child-like adults to a capital T.

It’s almost impossible to catch every subtle joke on the first go ‘round, making this flick increasingly better the more you watch it. From the first time they meet, “You have to call me, Dragon,” to “Did we just become best friends?” this bad boy is and easy choice and never gets old. So many, ‘buddy’ movies try too hard to be genuine and funny, while Step Brothers, doesn’t have to. The jokes sit nicely placed like the guitar solo in “November Rain” and the story-line provides the space for improvisational gold to take shape and hold place over time.

6. Never Again: The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas

Like many on this list it sits not because of being poorly made or not living up to what it promises to deliver, but because of the way it makes people feel after it’s over: heavy.

A shocking, heart-stabbing, based-on-true-events film told from the perspective of two innocent children on different sides of the fence. Literally.

The nature of the film makes it hard to watch a second time. The powerful message of how embarrassing and extreme human history is and was, watching two kids befriend each other despite where they grew up, who their parents are, and what their religion is and then seeing it all taken away in such a heart-breaking, tear-jerking way is enough to keep you from hitting play again.

5. Over And Over: American History X

While it might be tough to watch this one a second time, as long as you know exactly when to turn away from the infamous curb-stomp scene, this legendary piece of art is a solid replay movie.

Touching on so many social and political issues, watching AHX more than once is easy. All you have to do is forget about it for a couple of years and the excitement of the last time you watched it prompts you to say, “Man, remember American History X? Great movie. We should watch that this weekend.”

The characters and the way they come full circle in the story is uplifting. The hardships, and torment, and graphic violence only strengthens the movie’s draw and appeal in the same way that Fight Club does.

4. Never Again: The Passion Of The Christ

I don’t know about you but I like watching my movies… not readin’ ‘em!

Subtitles aside I think it’s pretty friggin’ obvious why this never-ending story made the list. It’s long, it’s graphic beyond artistic justification, and I mean, f*ck Mel Gibson, right?

There’s no way on God’s green earth that this movie is worth one watch, let alone two. And that’s with the utmost respect to Christian or Jewish people who may be reading this. It’s not the Jesus Christ walk of shame and execution that ruin this movie, it’s the way it was presented.

Sure, it’s more authentic to have them not speak English but, come on, who reads for three hours? And do we really need to see so much beating of the main man himself?

3. Over And Over: Dazed And Confused

A social snapshot of the last day of school in 1976, there’s every stereotypical high school character portrayed in this movie from the stoner, the jock, and the cheerleader, to the awkward nerds, twerps, and angsty outcasts that make this movie so relatable it’s almost spooky.

Everyone can identify with one character or another, “that’s totally me!” And everyone knows or knew of every other character they didn’t feel represented themselves.

An easy enough idea, the effectiveness of the movie is rooted in the nostalgia it induces on the audience. Whether you grew up in the ‘70s, ‘80s, ‘90s or are currently growing up, there’s no denying how true to life this sucker is.

I wonder if kids still make paddles in wood-shop…

2. Never Again: Dear Zachary: A Letter To A Son About His Father

A documentary roller-coaster ride of frustration, tragedy, and a strong case at the holes in the Canadian justice system.

Tears of sorrow, empathy, sympathy, rage, rage, and more blinding rage as you watch the story unfold. This is a serious must-watch. But that’s it, singular: “watch.” Not watch again.

A truly remarkable film shot and produced by a close friend of the victim, Andrew Bagby and the son he never knew, Zachary. The strife and drawn out, meandering path of lawyer loopholes and system f*ckery brings even the toughest human being to tears at any given point of this tragic story, The fact it’s actually happened tips the scales and makes it that much more heavy. One watch is all you’ll need.

1. Never Again: Ghost Ship

A terrible attempt at a marine movie, Ghost Ship was destined to sink. From the opening wire bisecting of all the passengers on a ship to the closing scene where evil seemingly lives another day, this over-the-top, kill ‘em all thriller is decent in spots but face-palmingly bad in most.

A play on good versus evil with realistic outcomes as the evil soul-sucking spirit appears to die and the audience can breathe easy and prepare for bed without turning all the lights on in the house first, then turning them off one by one as they make their way to the bedroom, and then — in the blink of a spooky eye– they see that the motherf*cker is still alive and doing business as usual.

Like Mick Jagger, the audience can’t get no satisfaction at any point in this dumb movie.

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