Summer is here, and needless to say, celebrities are the better — or worse — for it. Now, we’re not ones to shame people for the way they look, because beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. And as they say “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and all that stuff… But there are some celebrities that need just a bit — or a lot — of help when it comes to coming out during summer.
In compiling this list of celebrities who can — or can’t — do summer, we looked at the overall pictures that were presented to us — for example, it’s not just whether the celebrity looked good in the bikini, but whether the bikini itself was flattering to her. And while beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, there’s something to be said for a little bit of grace and humility. You never know when the paparazzi will pop up and snap a picture of you!
So, here’s our list of the celebrities in the summer. And as you’d suspect… some celebrities look better in those hot and sticky summer months than others.
20. Can’t Do Summer – Lindsay Lohan
God bless Lindsay Lohan — she just can’t seem to get it together. Even though she was well on her way to success when she was a teenager, with star turns in Freaky Friday and Mean Girls, she has — as of late — been better known for her struggles with drug addiction and partying ways. As an end result, she’s now one of those celebrities in the summer who simply can’t do it — the constant abuse of her body with drinking, drugs, and sex with random people has caused her to look sluggish and has robbed her of her youthful vitality. It’s a shame, really. (And what is UP with this burkini, Lindsay? People wear it for religious reasons — it’s not a fashion accessory!)
19. Can Do Summer – Nicole “Coco” Austin
Here’s the thing about Nicole “Coco” Austin — while she’s really only famous for being famous, she’s not nasty or entitled about it. In fact, one of the reasons people love the wife of rapper-turned-actor Ice-T is because she’s not only pretty, she’s down to earth. Add to her impeccable taste in swimsuits and her confidence in her body — even though she’s not “traditionally pretty” — and we can confidently say that Nicole “Coco” Austin is one of those celebrities in the summer who definitely can knock it out of the ballpark. She even managed to keep this awesome body after she had her daughter, which as any mother can tell you, is no small feat. Get it, Coco!
18. Can’t Do Summer – LeAnn Rimes
LeAnn Rimes is one of those celebrities in the summer who simply cannot do it, not because she’s ugly — because she’s anything but — but because when these photos came out, the rumors began swirling that she was suffering from an eating disorder, in no small part thanks to the stress of her relationship with her husband, Eddie Cibrian. As we all know, Cibrian used to be married to Real Housewife Brandi Glanville, who wasn’t afraid of drama galore. And, because Glanville is a drama queen, she had no problem putting all of Leann’s business out there, calling her a gold-digger (how?!) and a home-wrecker. Constant badgering from a bitter ex-wife, plus persistent celebrity paparazzi, is enough to drive anyone over the edge. So, we’re not sure we can blame Leann for being stressed out.
17. Can Do Summer – Selena Gomez
Almost overnight, Selena Gomez became a hottie with the body. And there’s no better example of this than the picture above, where she showed off all her goods while on a boat with Cara Delevingne — and boy, did she have it all! It is our sincere hope that we all become young and beautiful again, and barring that possibility, we come back in our next life looking as good as she does. This “Good For You” singer has a body to die for, she’s extremely pretty, and she always seems to find clothes that match her skin tone and flatter her figure, which is why we rank her on this list of the celebrities in the summer who can definitely do it! Justin Bieber, you lost the best thing that will ever happen to you!
16. Can’t Do Summer – Lena Dunham
Much ado has been made about how ugly the marginally-talented Lena Dunham is, so we won’t belabor the obvious. But the former Girls star and creator isn’t just ugly on the outside, she’s ugly on the inside — all you have to do is listen to her talk for five minutes to figure out that she’s vapid and arrogant. Combine all these less-than-desirable features together, and you have one of those celebrities in the summer that simply can’t do it. And there’s no better example than in the picture above to see what we mean: this infamous bikini picture isn’t “brave” or “feminist,” it’s Lena being Lena, which is a gross, entitled millennial. (#JusticeforLamby)
15. Can Do Summer – Rihanna
We think Rihanna has been enchanting us all since the beginning of time. We’re not sure, since we measure time in “Before Rihanna” and “After Rihanna.” In any event, she’s been #bodygoals for a long time, in no small part because she is one of the celebrities in the summer who can do it, and do it, and do it again. SLAY, RIH! Aside from the fact that she has impeccable taste in swimsuits (LOOK AT THIS PICTURE OMG RIH! YAS QUEEN!), she has an aura of confidence that says she can have any man she wants — and she knows it — and your approval is neither desired nor required. Get it, Rih! Pour it up, pour it up, indeed!
14. Can’t Do Summer – Kim Kardashian
Usually, Kim Kardashian looks amazing — she knows how to really make every possible color combination — and every clothing style — to look her very best. But, for some reason, she falls short in the summertime. In addition to sitting out in the sun until she positively roasts, Kim Kardashian always seems to find the worst bathing suits to wear, and there’s no better example than the suit above. It would probably look cute on anyone else but Kim Kardashian, but on her, it looks like an overgrown diaper. This bathing suit, perhaps more than anything else, demonstrates why she’s one of those celebrities in the summer who — sorry, love! — simply can’t do it.
13. Can Do Summer – Sofia Vergara
Mama Mia, Sofia! This Latina bombshell has been thrilling Latin American audiences for decades before she became known to the American mainstream thanks to her star turn on Modern Family. She basically stole the show (see what we did there?) with her hot Latina flare and kooky accent. She was the mom every boy didn’t want to have — because she’s so hot all his friends would be chasing her…in case you missed the point. The good news about her is that she’s been hotter than hot year after year on the show and in real life. That’s why we’re pleased to say that Sofia Vergara is one of the most gorgeous celebrities in the summer who can simply do that thing.
12. Can’t Do Summer – Ajay Rochester
Ajay Rochester isn’t really known on these shores for doing anything, but Australians fell in love with her when she starred on their version of The Biggest Loser. We’re not really sure what she lost, if anything at all, because based on what we’re seeing in this picture here, it’s not a whole lot. (And we don’t say that to be mean). That’s why she’s one of the celebrities in the summer who simply can’t do it, and she’s probably one of the worst of all time. Also, the swimsuit does her no favors, and good Lord woman, please learn how to swim.
11. Can Do Summer – Jenny McCarthy
It’s hard to believe that it’s been nearly three decades since Jenny McCarthy graced the pages of Playboy magazine, but she’s certainly come a long way since then. The actress and model certainly has her fair share of controversy — that whole “anti vax” movement doesn’t endear her to us — but she’s also accomplished a lot, as well. Currently married to New Kids on the Block member and Blue Bloods actor Donnie Wahlberg, Jenny McCarthy proves that she’s one of the celebrities in the summer who can make it look effortless at any age.
10. Can’t Do Summer – Tara Reid
We’re going to give Tara Reid a little bit of a pass, since she’s been the victim of some pretty bad plastic surgery in the past, and that changed her life for the worst. However, she’s had plenty of opportunities to fix her bad plastic surgery. She wasn’t (and still isn’t) getting work, so time wasn’t the issue. She has a ton more cash than any of us do, so her finances couldn’t have been the problem. So why didn’t she fix her terrible boob job? Well, she preferred to spend her money and her time on drinking and partying. That’s why we refuse to feel sorry for her for being one of the celebrities in the summer who simply can’t do it, because frankly, she did it to herself.
9. Can Do Summer – Jessica Alba
Perfection — that’s the only word we can think of to describe Jessica Alba, the actress-turned-Honest-Company-CEO. And even though the Honest Company has gone through a few hiccups as of late, Alba has never lost her swagger. One of the biggest things about her that we love so much is that she has been one of the celebrities in the summer who can totally do it, and she’s done it while maintaining her swagger — and hot bod — over the years and through two children. And that is certainly not an easy feat, which is why we applaud her. Keep shining, Jessica!
8. Can’t Do Summer – Tahiry Jose
Have you ever had a friend, or a friend with benefits, that just thought she was too cute for words, but in reality, she’s anything but? If Tahiry Jose was in your inner circle, she’d be that friend. Aside from the fact that the former Love and Hip Hop: New York star has one of the nastiest attitudes on either side of the Mason-Dixon line (proving again that celebrity ego is inversely proportional to celebrity talent), she also is one of those “celebrities” (term used loosely) in the summer who simply can’t do it. As the picture above shows, her clearly-fake butt is out of proportion with the rest of her body, the rest of her body is lumpier than rock in a pillowcase, and she has a perma-scowl on her face as though everything in life makes her angry. And let’s not even discuss how terrible her taste in clothes is, as evidenced by the Bikini-Cape get-up above. What’s your superhero name, Tahiry? Super-Heaux?
7. Can Do Summer – Beyonce
Bey. Queen. Jesus. Beyonce isn’t just a pop star — she’s a pop culture phenomenon. She’s the reason today’s black women are proud of their blackness, she’s reclaimed all her power from her Svengali-like father, and she’s become one of the best known women in the world. So it stands to reason that Beyonce would also be able to be one of the celebrities in the summer who can do that thang in, like, ever, and you need look no further for this proof than the photo above. Even though this is a photo that’s far from professionally taken, she still radiates with all her natural beauty. Black girl magic, indeed! YAS, QUEEN, YAS!
6. Can’t Do Summer – Brooke Hogan
It’s not that former Hogan Knows Best star Brooke Hogan is one of those celebrities in the summer who simply can’t do it, it’s the fact that she looks so much like her father, Hulk Hogan. And that, unfortunately, is not meant to be a compliment: in addition to having his manly face, she also has his manly, square body. What’s more, Brooke never seems to know what can, and will, make her rather, uh, unique body look good. And there’s no better example than in the photo above, where she wears an unflattering striped top with shorts riding up her hooha (no one wants to see that sh*t). Hogan doesn’t really know best, it seems.
5. Can Do Summer – Britney Spears
Now, if there’s one celebrity on this list that we’re proud of, it’s our girl Britney Spears. For a little while, Brit-Brit really went through it, especially after her divorce from Kevin Federline and the loss of custody of her two sons by him. Lately, however, she’s really been able to get her life together, and as an end result, she not only is one of those celebrities in the summer who can do it again and again, but she has a newfound success and newfound love. You’ve come a long way, baby, and we couldn’t be prouder of you.
4. Can’t Do Summer – Pamela Anderson
Pamela Anderson has come a long way from her prime days — and that’s not a good thing. In the 1990s, no one was hotter than Pamela, who shot to fame on Baywatch. Today, however, not so much — this former hottie has gone to a total nottie, and went from being one of the celebrities in the summer who can totally do it to one who totally cannot. We guess that if you ever wanted to issue a warning against the dangers of the drug and partying lifestyle, Pamela Anderson’s picture above would be the perfect warning sign. It also doesn’t help that she has Hepatitis C, allegedly, so we can only hope for the best.
3. Can Do Summer – Christina Milian
Even when she was at her most famous, Christina Milian was really only famous for being famous. I mean, ok she sang for a bit, but no one can really say that she made a career out of it. Ok, she acted a bit too… but does a handful of movie roles count as a career? Maybe. No, not really. Lately, she’s made headlines because she made a fool of herself over hip hop’s favorite skank, Lil’Wayne. Fortunately for Christina, she still is one of those celebrities in the summer who can do that damn thing, so at least she has that to fall back on (along with the child support she’s getting from her ex-husband, legendary producer The Dream). So, there’s that.
2. Can’t Do Summer – Amy Schumer
Here’s the bad news: Amy Schumer is… big. Here’s the good news: not only can she make fun of this fact, she can be good-natured about it. Many critics have commented that Schumer makes up for her looks with good humor, which is why despite the anti-feminist criticism lobbed against her, she’s pretty well-liked. Yes, she is one of the celebrities in the summer who just can’t seem to pull it off, but she can laugh about it. And, because she can laugh about it, she suddenly becomes even more attractive — at least in our eyes. What? You don’t agree?
1. Can Do Summer – Halle Berry
It’s really hard to believe that the gorgeous Halle Berry is close to her 50s, because she looks just as good today as she did when she first became famous. This Oscar-winning actress — who is mom to two children — works out every day to stay in shape, and her regimen includes running on the beach. Even though some of her ex-boyfriends have a lot of not-so-nice things to say about her, Halle perseveres, and is still revered as one of the world’s most beautiful women. Thanks to her gorgeous body, gorgeous smile, and gorgeous choices of fashion, Halle Berry unquestionably is one of the celebrities in the summer who can do that, do that, do do that that that!
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