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15 Creepy AF Apps That Only D-Bags Have

Tech & Science
15 Creepy AF Apps That Only D-Bags Have

“There’s an app for that,” is something that you’re likely to hear in just about any conversation concerning almost any situation. Today, there truly is an app for just about everything and anything… and as you’ll see, that isn’t always a good thing. Because unfortunately, there are some apps that can help people do bad things. The following apps range from mere distasteful behavior to downright disturbing antics with potential illegal activity. This is when technology turns against us. While helping the few, it lends the opportunity to hurt many in return.

Technology can be a wondrous thing. It’s the ultimate level of instant gratification. You can order a full meal, send a letter to a co-worker, pay a bill and watch a movie with just a few taps. But has all of this need for instant gratification gone too far? You might think so with some of the apps listed below. While it feels great to find an app that gives you a “hack” or an easy way to get around something, it doesn’t feel too great to know that your personal security and privacy could be violated by the same kinds of apps.

Read on, prepare to cringe and if you happen to see one of these apps on your SO’s device as they hand you their phone to look at a funny photo – RUN!

15. Girls Around Me App Makes It Easy For D-Bags To Stay On Top Of The Scene

Where’re the girls at? Pull up the app! Unlike some of these other apps, Girls Around Me offered their users the chance to find ANY girls who use Facebook and Foursquare and have their location services enabled. Obviously, this drives up the creep factor very high and takes things to a potentially dangerous level. In fact, this app has already been pulled from iTunes for just those reasons. When it was available, it worked by combining the girls’ Facebook and Foursquare info (they had to use both) and finding their locations, along with photos and any other personal details they were able to view with the user’s privacy settings in place. This app is such a huge violation of privacy, it’s no wonder it was pulled but it was available for some time so it’s also a wonder that there weren’t any big stories about terrible things happening thanks to that app.

14. Pikini Helps D-Bags Find Pictures Of Girls They Know In Bikinis

There are two types of “creepy” apps on this list. The first kind of creepy describes the app above which is more likely to be found on the phone of an established creeper. The second kind of creepy app is something that the typical fourteen-year-old boy hides on his phone and prays his parents don’t find the download. This is the category that Pikini falls into. Perfect for the D-Bag who is simply too lazy to scroll through Facebook and find photos of girls he knows in bikinis himself. Pikini (a clever combination of the words picture + bikini) does all of that hard work for the D-Bag but this also brings about a potential dilemma. As far as we know with the research for this article, there is no filter for this app. So what happens when Pikini presents the D-Bag with photos of his sisters, female cousins and even mother clad in an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini? Do your dirty work yourself, gentleman. And ew.

13. Badabing! Helps D-Bags Find Hotness And Save It “For Later”

The ew, ew, ew meter is very high with this one. This app doesn’t set any of the red flags off like some of the others that have the potential to increase dangerous stalker-type behavior but on an ick level, this is huge. Thanks to the app, the D-Bag user can casually scroll through his social media accounts and find photos of his liking, girls in bikinis (Pikinis can come into play here!) what have you… and save them for later. For later. Gross. The app also has a feature to help find photos with a beach and pool setting background for the user. As if things should be made easier on them! Another disturbing feature of this app is to type in a friend’s name and see who’s been “Badabing’ed” before. Like I said, ew.

12. Hawkeye Lets D-Bags Snap Photos On The Down Low

This app is exactly what it looks like. A guy in a crowded mall points his phone towards a gaggle of girls or towards a woman emerging from the water at a public pool, gets confronted but easily talks his way out of the situation with the proof right in his hands. The D-Bag can show that he was in fact, using an application on his phone that had nothing to do with the camera function. If he’s a super D-Bag, he might even take the extra time to throw a little shame the accuser’s way to say that they shouldn’t flatter themselves, etc. Meanwhile, he’ll be walking away with secret photos of the girls in question stashed on his phone. Another scenario is spy work. Either way, this app sets our creeper meter off.

11. Slydial Allows D-Bags To Have Side Hookups Go Straight To Voicemail Without Ever Leaving A Trace

Uh-oh. The possibility of that new side chick calling in during an evening in with the girlfriend causing stress and worry? Fear not, D-Bag. With Slydial, that side chick’s call will go straight to voicemail without even one bothersome ring. No suspicion to be aroused, no harm, no foul… other than the whole D-Bag thing going on. So the D-Bag can then excuse himself and listen to the side chick’s voicemail and call her back later, executing a perfectly silent affair. Slydial’s tagline should be “helping to distance couples and keep unhealthy relationships together.” This app brings up an interesting thought – if it becomes popular and an already suspicious person becomes aware of it, there will be no bounds to their concerns as they’ll never know if they’re being cheated on, even if they snoop through their partner’s phone. Way to go, Slydial. Isn’t there enough cheating going on?

10. Dickorate Brings Out The Fun Side Of D-Bags, Letting Them Digitally Dress Up Their Members

It’s like paper dolls for D-Bags. This app allows the user to snap a photo of their member and proceed to dress it up with dapper handlebar moustaches, police style aviator sunglasses and top hats. Fun, fun, fun! If the girl wasn’t sold on the D-Bag’s ability to randomly show up near her apartment building or doing what looks like snapping sneaky pics of her, the way to win her heart for sure is a text of a d pic adorned with a festive bright red bow tie and an old style cowboy hat. Trust us, she’ll find it completely adorable. Or she’ll run screaming into the night… and possibly issue a restraining order. If this app was created purely as a joke, that would be one thing but the intention of “impressing girls” seems to be serious, as unfortunate as that is.

9. Hide It Pro Is The D-Bag’s Answer To The Snooper In His Life

If a D-Bag’s SO knows the passcode to his phone or is so controlling that she demands he doesn’t have a passcode, he can get away with hiding things he probably shouldn’t have with Hide It Pro. This app is made to tuck away all of the salacious little secrets in a cheater’s life and make naughty pics, for example, invisible to the snoopy girlfriend or wife’s eyes as all they can see is an innocent-looking and rather boring utility app. Of course, it’s not right to snoop but on the other hand, if you have this app, you know you’re up to no good so this sounds like it plays right into the hands of a hot mess of a relationship. After all, it’s not likely that the people who download this app are using it to hide photos of engagement rings, right?

8. Passion Listens To D-Bags In The Act In Order To Rate Performance Based On Sound

Passion is a little different than the others. It doesn’t affect anyone else or victimize anyone. This is just creepy on a personal level. The D-Bag uses the app by leaving it to audio record an intimate session. The app will then use its super blend of science and technology to rate the user’s personal performance level on a scale of 1 through 10. Our question is how is this information analyzed, exactly? Specifically, with the result of “better than most people” – who are those “most people?” Other Passion app users? Hmm, this app has us thinking that this is nothing more than an ego stroke for D-Bags. Shouldn’t the compliment or real rating score come from the D-Bag’s partner? This is just another case of technology distancing us from our fellow humans.

7. Cloud Girlfriend Tricks Facebook Friends Into Thinking That D-Bags Have Girlfriends

‘She blinded me with science!’ For the D-Bag who wants to impress other girls on his social media account with his relationship skills or for the D-Bag who wishes to make a crush jealous with a current girlfriend but has no girlfriend and is not actually in a relationship (shocking, yes) there is Cloud Girlfriend. And yes, it is as creepy as you think it is. The D-Bag simply selects his interests and then chooses interests he’d like his fake non-existent girlfriend to have and Cloud Girlfriend does the rest when it comes to liking and even posting comments to his Twitter and Facebook account, making it look like he has a girlfriend when he of course, does not. Like all of these other trickery apps, it poses potential social problems. What happens when people want to meet this mystery “girl” who keeps posting on his account?

6. Butt Analyzer Helps D-Bags With A Scoring System

This charming app’s slogan is, “How attractive is your butt? Butt Analyzer can tell you!” Butt let’s face facts. I’m willing to bet that the majority of those who download the Butt Analyzer app are not the self-conscious types who get their friends to snap photos of their behinds or set their phones on timers while they race to position themselves in front of their cameraphone but instead, are really D-Bags snapping away at the mall, during the long wait at the DMV, at church and wherever else D-Bags conduct D-Bag business. The strangest part of this app is can’t the D-Bag tell themselves if someone else’s behind is attractive to them or not? After all. who’s the judge here? This app oozes massive creepiness for the way in which is designed to be used.

5. Break-Up Notifier/Crush Notifier Helps D-Bags Stay Ahead Of The Game

And by ‘game’, we mean the game where D-Bags creep on their former high school classmates, co-workers and friends’ sisters. Break-Up Notifier works in that the D-Bag selects people from his list of friends and as soon as (fingers crossed!) the selected person breaks off their current relationship and updates their Facebook status to “single” (huzzah!) the D-Bag gets notified. Hence, the name. Pretty sneaky. Then the D-Bag can be the first to offer a shoulder to cry on, etc. Crush Notifier is a sister app that works similarly to Tinder’s set up. The D-Bag selects Facebook friends that they have crushes on and if the feelings are reciprocated, Crush Notifier sends them an email stating they are Facebook soul mates. Classy stuff.

4. Cree.py App Allows D-Bags To Level Up To Stalkers

It’s all in the name, right? Even with the punctuation in place to break it up, it’s still very creepy to us. This app may make you want to delete your Twitter and Flickr accounts or at least go through and clean up your friends list. Cree.py allows the user to track geolocation data by the information their desired Twitter and Flickr friends locked in when they set up their accounts. So picture this: a bonafide dangerous stalker befriends intended targets for the sole purpose of using this app to find out where they live. We’re just wondering what good can possibly come from this app? It’s hard to imagine a scenario straight out of a goofy rom-com where the guy uses Cree.py to run into his crush. No, don’t think so. You’ve rightfully earned your name, Cree.py.

3. With Instasnoop, D-Bags Can Spend Countless Hours Creeping On Instagram Profiles Without Worrying About Leaving A Trace

D-Bags everywhere will rejoice to learn that they can zoom to their hearts’ content on photos without ever leaving so much as a trace behind on the profiles of the Instagram users they are creeping on. Because sometimes, you just gotta have a closer look… if you’re a D-Bag, that is. If someone’s scrolling through their friend’s photos and happens to find one they want to zoom in and the friend notices this, it’s no big deal. But if you need this app to create an online cloak of invisibility for you, it sounds like there’s a problem there. Instasnoop is instacreepy and it’s quite disturbing that this app is “needed” by some people out there. As an added bonus of sorts, the “Snooplist” feature on this app allows D-Bags to invisibly follow people. This means that if you have this app, you have fully accepted the fact that you are a D-Bag.

2. Being App Brings Other Instagram Feeds Directly To D-Bags

The tagline for this app is “experience Instagram through someone else’s eyes” and that’s exactly what it does. This isn’t exactly as creepy as some of the other apps on this list especially because many users apparently use this to see what their favorite celebrity’s Instagram feed looks like but any way you slice it, it’s still an invasion of privacy. Still pretty creepy to know that you’re looking at what the celebrity of your choice would see as they open Instagram on their phone. And don’t worry about Being not having your favorite celebrity available. They’ve got all the major Instagramming celebs on their list. So if you don’t mind being invasive and feel that your life won’t be complete unless you see what Taylor Swift’s Instagram feed looks like, Being is the creepy app for you.

1. FriendSwipe Connects D-Bags To Their Facebook Friends Who Are Also On Tinder

Much easier to break the ice this way. And it saves time! For the multi-tasking D-Bag on the go who’s looking to save time, FriendSwipe, just like the name implies, finds Facebook friends that are also on Tinder and makes that magical connection. On one hand, it almost makes practical sense. Almost. For two people who are already Facebook friends, it seems reasonable that they both might want to know if they are also both on Tinder. But on the other hand, it’s also maybe not so nice to know that. Because if two people are Facebook friends, wouldn’t a love connection have bloomed by now? Why take it another digital step further? The creepy part comes in forcing the hand in the matter. “You’re my Facebook friend and now I see you’re on Tinder as well so let’s hook up,” is pretty much what this app is trying to say.

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