Every wrestler has a softer side. It takes a tough person, both physically and mentally, to work as a wrestler. Not only are you beating your body up in the ring and trying to survive the political shark tank backstage, you’re also on the road every week spending time away from home and possibly away from that special someone you love. When a wrestler eventually gets to spend some time alone with that extra special someone he loves in a romantic sense, how does a wrestler shed his macho persona and truly express to that person how he feels?
Show the one you love how they make you feel this Valentine’s Day by serenading them with any of the following 12 ridiculous love songs performed by pro wrestlers. Music and wrestling have long been connected through the Rock N Wrestling era of the 1980s, and through the many great entrance themes of our favourite wrestlers, but some wrestlers have gone the extra mile to pour their hearts out in song. The following list is a collection of songs that will show you that wrestlers aren’t just bunch of big meanies, but that they can also be a group of thoughtful lovers with golden voices.
12. – “Can’t Get You Out of My Heart” by Three Count
If you watched WCW in the year 2000, a year that was a steaming hot pile of garbage creatively that saw the promotion bury itself further into the ground, a diamond in the rough was found in the formation of Three Count. Three Count was a trio of wrestlers consisting of Shane Helms (the Hurricane), Shannon Moore and Evan Karagias, who had the gimmick of being a boy band along the likes of the Backstreet Boys. Can’t Get You Out of My Heart is Three Count’s breakout single and entrance theme, and is admittedly well produced and sounds just like the boy bands of the day. Seriously, switch out Shannon Moore with Howie D. and this is on the level of Backstreet.
11. “I Just Want You” by Trish Stratus
Trish Stratus is regarded by the WWE Universe as one of the best WWE Divas of all time. Not only is she damn sexy, she is super talent in the ring… and is probably also decent at karaoke. This song was a track on WWE Originals, an album released by WWE in 2003 consisting of original songs by WWE superstars and Divas. While Kurt Angle had a banger of a track on this album with I Don’t Suck, Trish Stratus certainly had the best love song and showed us her tender side. The lyrics are simple, but to the point. She just wants you.
10. “With My Baby Tonight” by Jeff Jarrett
This song is where the list picks up steam. When Double J made his debut in the WWF in 1993, he donned the gimmick of a country singer. Straight out of Nashville, Music City USA, and dressed in one of the oddest ring attires of all time that made him look like a male stripper, Jarrett was not only gunning for the Intercontinental Title, he was shilling his “album” titled Ain’t I Great, which also happened to be his catchphrase at the time. While this is a catchy little country tune and is superior to Achy Breaky Heart, Jarrett found himself in a Milli Vanilli-type situation. It was ultimately uncovered that he did not sing the vocals on this track, rather they were performed by his manager at the time, The Roadie, who later became one of the bigger stars of the Attitude Era as “The Road Dogg” Jesse James. Road Dogg went on to do a rap with K-Kwik, but sadly no love ballads. Shame, because he certainly has that golden country twang that could make any country girl swoon.
9. “Heartbeat Away” by Michael P.S. Hayes
Since the P.S. in Michael P.S. Hayes stands for “Purely Sexy,” the Freebird himself should certainly know a thing or two about love songs. Hayes is, in many respects, the real life Kenny Powers of pro wrestling, and one of the many ways in which he is that is displayed in the 1987 album he put out himself titled The Streets, which features Heartbeat Away. The album features many “rockin’” tunes, but this is the most heartfelt. Featuring guitar solos, horns, and even 80’s synth, this song is for a bad girl who’s down to get dirty with the Freebirds. However, one would advise wearing protection, because who knows what you could pick up on Badstreet USA. Not surprisingly, Hayes still makes music today. Check out his latest single Why Can’t the Children Pray in School? to feel your ears bleed as you wonder why you’ve wasted your life watching wrestling.
8. “Hulk’s the One” by Linda Hogan featuring Hulk Hogan and the Wrestling Boot Band
Hulk put out possibly the most ridiculous album in all of wrestling in 1995, when he dropped Hulk Rules. The album is written by Jimmy Hart, and features the Hulkster rapping on most of the tracks. Check out the song I Want to Be a Hulkamaniac for hot rhymes about saying no to drugs and always swimming with a buddy. The sole love song on this album is a song written to Hulk by his then wife, Linda Hogan. Linda sings on the track, showing through song how much she cares for and adores the Real American. Linda claims that Hulk is the only one for her. This song would be higher on the list if Linda did not eventually divorce Hulk, take the lion’s share of his wealth and accuse him of being in a gay relationship with his buddy Brutus “the Barber” Beefcake.
7. “Bertha Faye” by Harvey Whippleman
Bertha Faye was a competitor in the WWF’s women’s division during the mid 1990s. Faye was a giant of a woman among her peers and had one hell of a love song written to her. Harvey Whippleman, Bertha’s manager, declares his true love to her in a song that he wrote about how deeply dedicated he is to her. How can he keep her in his arms, he wonders? He explains that he loves her so, that her eyes guide him, that she smells good, and that she’s the prettiest girl in the whole trailer park. Based on this song alone, I would not be surprised if the couple are still together today, as no other love could be so true.
6. “Wrestling With Girls” by Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler
Jerry Lawler was the real king of Memphis. He was the top star of that wrestling territory for decades, but never really made it as the pop singer he could have been. Wrestling With Girls is a song performed by Lawler, where he describes the ‘wrestling matches’ he has in the bedroom. As opposed to some of the other songs on the list, this song is not a song dedicated to one person in particular but is a song dedicated to all the ladies. Honestly, this song is perhaps that catchiest on the list. However, it’s incredibly creepy if you keep in mind that Lawler was charged in 1993 for allegedly sexually assaulting a teenage girl.
5. “Piledriver” by Koko B. Ware
Man, can Koko sing! Piledriver is the title track from the album Piledriver: the Wrestling Album 2 released by the WWF in 1987. The album features several tracks performed by different wrestlers at a time when wrestling was at its campiest, but this tune by Mr. B. Ware and his powerful, soulful voice is undoubtedly the most memorable track and the most accurate depiction how love feels. As the song says, like wrestling, not only does love sometimes feel fake, but as Koko sings it, “Sometimes love, sounds like a fight, it sounds like an argument, it sounds just like a piledriver!”
4. “Never Been a Right Time to Say Goodbye” by Bret ‘the Hitman’ Hart
WrestleMania the Album, released in 1993, is another compilation of original tracks performed by wrestlers released by the WWF/E. The album, surprisingly, had a hit single by the Hitman that actually played on UK airwaves. American Idol creator Simon Cowell produced the song Never Been a Right Time to Say Goodbye by Bret Hart, which features Bret not singing, rather talking in a style much like William Shatner. In the song, Bret explains how he could not possibly bear the heartache that he would have to endure when he eventually leaves his lover. The song shows that while Shawn Michaels may have been known as the Heartbreak Kid, his rival the Hitman was the real breaker of hearts in the World Wrestling Federation. Maybe think twice about singing this one to your lover on Valentine’s Day, or maybe save this one for a right time to say goodbye.
3. “What’s That All About” by Macho Man Randy Savage
Randy Savage was known for his larger than life personality and original style that likely did in fact influence the world of hip hop. Lil’ Wayne even shouts out the Macho Man on Tha Carter III in the track Mr. Carter. In 2003, the Macho Man took the hip hop world by storm when he dropped his own rap album Be A Man, which is mostly known for its diss track against Hulk Hogan. However, much like how 50 Cent was hard on his début album but showed his softer side with 21 Questions, Savage did the same on his album with What’s That All About. In the song, he spits rhymes to his ‘baby girl.’ Macho explains that while lovers go through both good times and bad times, it’s important to stick it through together.
2. “Put a Little @$$ On It” by Rikishi
This love song is the epitome of ridiculous. A slow jam by Rikishi, the wrestler whose signature move was rubbing his posterior in his opponent’s face, Put a Little *** On It is another track from WWE Originals. The song is nothing but lyrical genius, as the first verse of the song is essentially a metaphor that compares the feeling of love with the feeling of holding in a fart: “This world is queasy, holding on tight, trying hard just to keep control, don’t let go.” R. Kelly couldn’t write a better slow jam even if he was trapped inside 12 closets. The chorus sings, “put a little *** on it, like a baby,” which makes no sense at all but at the same time completely captures how we want one another to feel on Valentine’s Day — deeply in love, but in a young, innocent way akin to the innocence of a baby.
1. “Roppongi” by Terry Funk
Topping this list is a classy love song by Terry Funk, from his album released in Japan titled Great Texan, that captures the true essence of what it is to be a lover and a wrestler. Accompanied by a smooth saxophone, the Dirty Funker sings about the experience of being a wrestler in Japan, spending time in the nightclubs of Roppongi, dancing with women and drinking hot sake. While this may seem like a great time, deep inside he’s thinking about that woman he loves back home at the Double Cross Ranch. Nothing is more heartfelt, and the soft, southern drawl of Funk combined with dancy yet lonely rhythm is enough to put a lump in anyone’s throat.