World Wrestling Entertainment is a global operation which has found decades of success taking professional wrestlers and turning them into full-blown celebrities. There was a time when the heroes were the only ones marketed as larger-than-life Superstars with impossibly perfect physiques and good looks. In those days, many a villain made his living through looking as ugly and scary as possible.
But those days are behind us. Now, nearly everyone, with few exceptions, has to be camera-ready at the drop of a dime. With Raw and SmackDown airing in high definition, the WWE makeup team is always hard at work making each man and woman look as stunning as possible for the cameras, and more focus than ever is put on appearances as Superstars invest tremendously in the presentation of their ring gear because, in 2016, appearances are everything.
In the modern culture of obsession with beauty, the pressure, as they say, is on for WWE Superstars. Unfortunately for them, copious amounts of makeup and the most intricately designed wardrobe can’t stop father time. Wrinkles deepen, skin loosens, hair thins, and sometimes genetics are just plain cruel.
For a select few, looks will serve them well into their golden years. But for most Superstars, the perils of still being human will be waiting around each corner, ready to prey on the shallow and crush even the strongest of hopes that they might manage to hold on to their youth just a few years longer. Those are the souls we’ll discuss today as we look at fifteen WWE Superstars who will definitely not be high definition friendly forever.
15. Baron Corbin
Baron Corbin recently joined the WWE main roster after spending several years finding his groove down in the company’s developmental program, NXT. Some argue he never really found that groove, but since making his debut on Monday Night Raw earlier this year he’s certainly found some success. At WrestleMania 32 in Dallas, he won the annual Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal and has since been embroiled in a physical rivalry with Dolph Ziggler.
But most of Baron Corbin’s appeal relies solely on his intimidating look. He’s big and he’s got a mean grimace along with long, black hair falling down his back; it’s a real tough guy biker image. Sadly for Baron, however, he’s clearly balding on top and he’s already sporting a bit of a flabby belly from previous weight loss. Once the hair goes, so does half his personality and therefore career. And once the career goes, the battle of the bulge is likely to pick back up.
14. The Miz
Few WWE Superstars have been as chameleon-like as Mike “The Miz” Mizanin. Though plenty of fans lost interest in him years ago, his character has evolved so smoothly over the years that it’s sometimes hard to remember he’s been on WWE television for over a decade.
The Miz has gone from Tough Enough rookie to the obnoxious shorts-wearing sidekick of John Morrison, and from reality TV star-turned WrestleMania success story to cocky, self-proclaimed Hollywood megastar. The kicker to that is how much all of his characters, especially his most recent, depend on his good looks.
Those “good looks” for The Miz are quite a bit on the silly side. He’s got buggy eyes and a buck-toothed smile, both characteristics of a strange-looking character actor. Face it: The Miz looks downright creepy today. Imagine for a moment what he’s going to look like when all those goofy features start to droop and sag.
13. Summer Rae
The lovely Summer Rae danced her way onto WWE TV a few years ago on the arm of Fandango. She’s competed in the ring, managed a slew of wrestlers and even starred in the WWE Studios movie The Marine 4: Moving Target. She’s blonde, leggy, and she can dance. For a long, long time, that’s all a woman needed to be successful in WWE.
Though Summer Rae is gorgeous now, she has very defined facial features. She’s got a thin, hook-shaped nose and a small mouth with a strong chin. These are not ugly features by any means – Summer is a beautiful woman. They are, however, features that won’t age terribly well. Everyone’s familiar with the cartoonish depictions of wrinkly, evil witches in children’s fiction which show them with pointy chins and hook noses. Though, who knows? Perhaps Summer will still be leggy and blessed enough with the dance in her old age so that none of that will matter.
12. Luke Gallows
Luke Gallows has had so many unique restarts in WWE it’s hard to remember he was once portraying an imposter version of Kane. Another time, lest we forget, he was a brain-damaged farmhand. Now, as a part of The Club with Karl Anderson and AJ Styles, he’s seeing perhaps his most success yet under WWE’s umbrella, but in all these characters there was one constant: Luke Gallows has always looked like a murderous estranged stepfather.
The guy is big, tattooed and bald, and he’s got one of the grumpiest mugs you’ll ever set eyes upon. You know you’re seriously intimidating when one look at you makes people think they smell something funny. He’s got searing eyes and a mouth that looks like it’s never smiled a day in his life. But that’s today; can you imagine what Luke Gallows is going to look like when he’s 60? Will he even be allowed near playgrounds?
11. Tyler Breeze
Prince Pretty. The King of Cuteville. The Gorgeous One. These are all nicknames for Tyler Breeze. It’s pretty obvious WWE’s marketing him as having quite the dashing looks, no?
Tyler’s got a lot going for him. He’s tan, he’s got the smooth jaw line and he’s got the piercing eyes with the arched brows. But then there’s the hair, his crowning glory, so to speak. One look at Tyler Breeze and the hair will stand out above all else (besides all the fur and the selfie stick) as his character-defining feature. It’s bleached blonde and usually pulled back into a man bun, unless it’s draped and feathered about his face.
But what happens when it all starts to fade? When you’ve made your money based on getting known for your looks, by contrast it’s going to be much more obvious when they start to go. And if he starts losing his hair, Breeze’s looks will fall apart a whole lot faster.
Another WWE mainstay, Natalya has been with the company since 2008 and has been a staple in the Divas and women’s divisions. She’s largely credited as being the best pure female wrestler in the world and one of the best in all of WWE of any gender. She’s the daughter of the legendary Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart and one of the most respected wrestlers in the locker room.
Natalya is a beautiful woman and her husband, fellow wrestler Tyson Kidd, is a very lucky man. But as anyone who has seen her father Jim in recent years can attest, the Neidhart gene pool can be quite unfriendly. “The Anvil” looks downright terrifying and Natalya, while very attractive, has many of the same features as her father, including the strong jaw and smile. As good-looking as Nattie is today, she may not remain so if “The Anvil” is a vision of her future.
9. Chris Jericho
Chris Jericho’s been around for long, long time. He’s wrestled all over the world and had a plethora of championship reigns. In fact, Y2J holds the record for most Intercontinental Championship runs and is a multiple time WWE World Heavyweight Champion. In recent years, Jericho has been responsible for helping revive WWE’s beleaguered midcard, which is now full of talent who have worked extensively with the wrestling legend and been better for it.
But as can be seen by looking at Chris Jericho over the years, time has definitely not been kind to the future Hall of Famer. His eyes have grown tired, his skin has become leathery and his laugh lines have gotten deeper. Not to mention that, as impressive as his physique still is today, Y2J has put on the weight that naturally comes with age. At 45, Jericho’s by no means an old man, but if his appearance over the years has been any indication he won’t be getting there gracefully.
8. Enzo Amore
One of the hottest acts to recently come out of NXT to WWE’s main roster is that of Enzo Amore and Big Cass. The fan favorite tag team has become sure-fire way to light up the crowd on any given night and have transcended wrestling to become more well-known for their microphone work than for their in-ring wrestling abilities.
Enzo Amore, in particular, is full of fire and instantly recognizable. He’s got a wild shock of bleached hair on top of his head and a beard that might just take over the world. And those crazy eyes? Another story.
But just for a moment, picture how that spunky little guy is going to look when he’s in his senior years and everything starts to turn grey and wrinkle. Even if you take away the insane hair from his head and face, you’re left with eyes that scream psychopath. Those are the eyes you see on basically every mug shot ever taken.
7. Dolph Ziggler
At first glance, Dolph Ziggler is a good-looking guy. He’s got his long, beach boy hair pulled back tightly and his smile is the size of Texas. He fancies himself a lady-killer and, for the better part of his career, that’s how he’s been marketed. It seems to work, since he’s obviously got a strong following with the female members of the WWE Universe.
But just for a brief moment near the end of some of Dolph’s matches, his hair comes undone and goes wild, sprouting into a curly massacre Then he looks straight into the camera, all fired up, and lets out a primal roar. That’s when you can get a glimpse of what the real Dolph Ziggler looks like when he’s not all done up for television.
If he’s already that terrifying, there’s no telling how things will go for him when his bold jaw line starts to droop and his features begin to wrinkle and stretch. If it’s accompanied by that crazy hair then old Ziggler is going to be positively horrifying.
He’s been out with an injury for a few months, but I doubt anyone’s forgotten Neville. Billed as the “New Sensation,” Neville soared to success in NXT but began to fall behind once called up to the main roster. Hopefully, the upcoming brand split will do him some favors because with a face like that he’s going to need all the help he can get.
While Neville’s athletic skill in the wrestling ring is unmatched, he’s definitely coming up short in the looks department. He’s got a long, crooked nose and a sharp, jutting chin. But perhaps Neville’s most defining physical features are his pointy, out-turned ears. One look at the guy makes you think you’re watching a Lord of the Rings film.
Once the wrinkles set in and the features, especially the ears, begin to sag, all Neville’s features are going to become more and more prominent. And that’s going to be one strange-looking elderly elf.
5. Triple H
Triple H reached legendary status a long time ago, but he’s probably in the best shape of his life. It seems like the longer time goes on, the more ripped the man becomes. He’s one of the most decorated champions in the history of professional wrestling and he’s set to inherit all of WWE, alongside his wife Stephanie, from his father-in-law Vince McMahon when McMahon steps down. Though his contributions to WWE are endless, Triple H continues to be prominent, relevant and seems to have quite a few more years of part-time in-ring action ahead of him.
But if he’s got years of action ahead, his looks won’t be joining him. As the years have progressed, “The Game” has lost more and more of the youthful glow that accompanied him in the original D-Generation X run. In fact, when he and Shawn Michaels resurrected the famed group ten years ago, Triple H already looked far too old for the part and both he and Michaels came off as old men trying to recapture their youth. His eyes have begun to droop in recent years and his forehead has grown incredibly wrinkled from years of “blading.”
While The Game may be in the best shape of his life, his looks have seen better days.
The daughter of two-time WWE Hall of Famer Ric Flair, the current WWE Women’s Champion Charlotte has revolutionized the former Divas division. She came along at a time when women’s wrestling in WWE was at an all-time low in terms of overall quality and raised the bar with her rare athleticism and legendary bloodline. She’s reign atop the women’s division for nearly an entire year and she’s looked good doing it.
But even though Charlotte’s rocking some long legs and gorgeous blonde locks, we’ve seen the future – in fact, we’ve been watching the future for around forty years. Her father, Ric, is one of the greatest professional wrestlers the world has ever known, but few people would actually accuse the man of aging gracefully. Flair is barely recognizable as the man he was in his early years, as the features which made him a “kiss-stealing” ladies’ man in the ‘70s and ‘80s have all begun to cave to the pressures of time.
And it doesn’t take a detail-oriented eye to see the similarities between him and Charlotte. The most identifying feature is certainly the prominent nose, which is a dead giveaway. Few people will have Charlotte in their fantasies once she begins to age and look more and more like Ric Flair.
3. Randy Orton
Randy Orton rose to fame with the group Evolution, and “The Legend Killer” quickly became the looks of the faction. Known for his devilish grin, chiseled jaw, and slick haircut, the women went absolutely bananas for Orton.
Randy transcended his cocky, cowardly character to become one of WWE’s most violent and feared Superstars and has remained relevant for almost fifteen years. He’s a sure-fire WWE Hall of Famer, just like his dad “Cowboy” Bob Orton.
Also like his dad, time has been a cruel mistress to the man known as “The Viper.” Randy’s always looked a little bit like his father, but as his jaw line has begun to weaken and his hair has fled for the hills, Randy’s starting to slowly resemble a carbon copy of his old man. He might still be one of the most feared men in WWE for a while to come, but that doesn’t mean Randy Orton’s youthful good looks will be along for the ride.
2. Dean Ambrose
After winning the 2016 Money in the Bank ladder match and cashing in the contract later that same night to capture his first WWE World Heavyweight Championship, Dean Ambrose is on top of the world right now. He’s been called a modern day “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, due to his rebellious aura, but he’s also crafted an insane style where he tends to throw his body recklessly around the ring and use it as a weapon.
No doubt, Ambrose’s formula is one that has captivated the WWE Universe, and especially the female fans, as is obvious from the girlish screams from the audience when he occasionally loses his shirt. But looks fade, and from the looks of things, Dean’s will start fading from the top. He tends to keep his wild hair pulled forward most of the time, but in the midst of a match when it’s matted with sweat it’s hard to miss the rapid thinning of his hair.
Once the hair goes, the wrinkling of those trademark dimples won’t be far behind and Dean Ambrose will be glad he landed a stunning girlfriend like Renee Young while his looks were still clinging to hope.
1. Roman Reigns
WWE’s meal ticket for the next ten years seems to be Roman Reigns, as if that weren’t blatantly obvious to anyone who’s watched Raw or SmackDown recently. Despite WWE’s relentless attempts to get the crowd behind him, most of them just aren’t having it. It’s certainly not that Reigns isn’t talented, but he was the last member of The Shield the WWE Universe wanted to succeed, so when WWE pushed Reigns ahead of Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose the crowd revolted.
But in a case eerily similar to that of John Cena, the booing aimed at Roman Reigns seems to be coming mostly from the adult male section of the crowd. Aside from children, the only people who still cheer for the man are the women. It’s the full head of long, wavy black hair, the brooding eyes and the fact that Reigns is just generally “a tall, dark and handsome” cliché.
Don’t fret for long, though. Your wives and girlfriends might be going completely nuts for Roman Reigns right now, but so much of his appeal relies on his hair and distinct facial features that it can’t last long. One look at Roman’s father, WWE legend Sika, shows you how the gene pool handles time. The lines in his face will inevitably deepen and that smile the women love so much will begin to droop.
And even though that thick hair on Roman Reigns shows no signs of thinning, he’s very young. Once the hairline begins to recede, so goes Reigns’ defining feature and WWE’s good-looking John Cena 2.0 will be a thing of the past.