My older brother once told me that in college I would meet enough people that I would start to categorize them simply in order to remember who they were. Alongside such expert advice as “Don’t throw up anywhere where you’ll have to clean it,” it was definitely worth remembering.
While his advice may have been slightly generalized, I do think we as people (for right or wrong) tend to label people in order to differentiate them from others we meet. With most college guys being consumed by the thought of one thing, I decided to make an article listing the 15 types of girls you’ll meet, based on their labels.
As a huge wrestling fan, I thought the best way to describe these categories would be with WWE Divas (now called Superstars). With such colorful personalities, the Divas of WWE are a perfect way to portray the stereotypes often placed on girls by guys. I would like to stress that the categories listed here are in no way meant to represent actual girls but are merely a tool to show how we can categorize people we don’t know well so that they can fit in our overall viewpoint of the world.
15. The Wicked Witch: Alexa Bliss
To start off the list, I decided to include the girl that you hope to never run into in public with your friends or family. To do so is to submit yourself to questions like “oh wow she’s really nice” or “why would you ever break up with her.” You then have to explain to your compatriots that the sweet little person they just spoke to may very well be the devil. We all know that person who is super sweet to people the first time they meet them, but then over time begins to reveal the horns hidden beneath her blonde locks.
Such was the experience of NXT fans as they watched the transformation of the sweet face version of Alexa Bliss into the Wicked Witch of WWE heel that we all know today. Here’s hoping none of Alexa Bliss’ exes meet her in public with their parents.
14. The One That Got Away: AJ Lee
Most of us have experienced, or known someone who has experienced, the same type of situation that WWE faced with AJ Lee. You started interacting with this girl, you realized that she was amazing and a clear step above all the other girls around you, she then starts dating this weird guy that you ardently hate and then she leaves your life forever never to be heard from again.
Such was the situation that occurred during the AJ Lee era in WWE. With a weakened Diva’s Division, WWE put all its eggs in the talented basket of AJ Lee. While she would carry the division on her back for more than two years, with her departure it left the WWE destitute for female talent. Throw in the fact that AJ left largely because of the conflicts between WWE and her husband CM Punk, and you can imagine that AJ still leaves a bitter taste in the mouths of the McMahons.
13. The Wild One: Candice Michelle
For you non-WWE fans, before Candice Michelle was the GoDaddy spokesperson and was placed on the cover of Playboy (can you say wild!) she was a WWE diva. While she did eventually receive a significant push where she became WWE Women’s Champion, Candice Michelle was known more for her scandalous storylines than she was for her in-ring work. This, however, is not a criticism of her, as she served as a very valuable asset to WWE during her time.
Much like Candice Michelle with WWE, some of us have known the girls who are game for anything. By this, I mean that whether you wanted to go to a baseball game or to a bar or to a play they were always down to hangout. The ability to adapt to your changing environment is a commendable attribute in both one‘s personal and professional life.
12. The Crazy One: Mickie James
While girls with Candice Michelle’s free spirit are a nice change from the rigged structure of life, girls like Mickie James can sometimes cross that line from wild to unhinged. When Mickie James debuted in 2005, she became embroiled in a storyline where she obsessed with future Hall of Famer Trish Stratus which eventually culminated with a match at WrestleMania.
This storyline would become weirder and weirder, including lesbian kisses (not in themselves weird, but here they certainly were), Mickie copying Trish’s moves, and even going so far as to dress like her. Those of you who have experienced this type of girl know what I’m talking about here. For those of you who have been fortunate enough not to date a crazy girl, if it occurs I have two words for you, restraining order!
11. The One You Liked Too Much to Date: Sasha Banks
I think there a lot of girls that fit into this category. It could be the girl you’ve been friends with for years, the sister of one of your close friends, or even someone you just met but who you instantly got along great with. For whatever reason, this is just the girl that you like too much to ever think about dating. All of us know that even the best relationships can end messily, so why would you risk a valued friendship for the slim chance of becoming a long-lasting couple.
Instead, you and the girl develop a sort of unspoken bond where you agree to remain as friends. In the WWE I feel like Sasha Banks would be this kind of girl. Not only through her in-ring persona, but also in situations with fans in public, Sasha has shown a friendly demeanor that you can’t help but admire. We should all take a minute to appreciate these types of girls, including The Boss, Sasha Banks
10. The Goth Chick: Paige
A lot of people had what their parents called their “goth phase” right around middle school to early high school age. For my friend Dylan, however, he didn’t have a goth phase so much as he had a goth girl phase. That is, during this period of his life anyone who was pale and wore a lot of dark clothes and makeup was subject to his immediate attention. Whether this was just a phase or his own personal preference time will only tell, however, the WWE Universe has shown its own inclination to girls of this particular variety.
Wrestling fans are an odd group as a whole, so it was unsurprising to me that Paige gained such a rabid fan base following her debut in 2014. Sure she’s a little odd, but she’s also immensely talented and her strange way of acting in dressing seems to adhere to the heart and soul of the typical WWE fan.
9. The Twins: Nikki and Brie Bella
This entry comes with a disclaimer because 99.9% of us never date twins, they merely stay in the back of our minds as standard guy fantasies. Those guys who have dated a single twin can tell you that the relationship with the other one can be awkward at times. Perhaps it has something about them looking just like your significant other combined with you having to toe the line with any twin jokes.
WWE certainly used the twin male fantasy to its height with the Bella Twins, even going as far as to create some awkward moments with them and Brie’s real-life future husband Daniel Bryan. Despite the inherent issues of being involved with twins, I think most guys would follow Daniel Bryan’s lead if given the opportunity. Just say YES YES YES.
8. The One You Should Not Have Dated: Stephanie McMahon
I found this entry fun to write because this has not only likely happened to many of our readers, but it also happened to future WWE Hall of Famer Triple H. Many critics have claimed that Triple H‘s monumental success in the WWE is partly due to his relationship with Stephanie McMahon, however, dating her was actually a huge risk to his career. We have seen with the CM Punk saga how a bad relationship with Vince can hinder one‘s career, so imagine the potential catastrophe awaiting Triple for dating (and later marrying) the bosses daughter.
I seriously doubt whether VKM would have been very professional had Triple H and Stephanie’s relationship gone poorly and it could have spelled the end for the future King of Kings. Let this be a warning to any guys currently dating, or thinking about dating, that girl that who for whatever reason they probably shouldn’t be.
7. The One You Only Met Once: Brooke Tessmacher
So once you were at a party or hanging out with your friends, and a mutual friend invites this girl you’ve never met before. She’s really cool and you spend a lot of the night getting to know her. Then for whatever reason, your friend never brings her around and you never see her again. Now you’re stuck in that cycle where you’re awkward Twitter friends, but from time to time you think about that night and how much you liked her. Such was the case for many WWE friends in regards to Brooke Adams (later called Brooke Tessmacher in TNA).
Originally brought up as part of the dance group Extreme Expose, Brooke certainly had the look (and with limited opportunities) the mic skills to become a major contributor to the women’s division. But then for a variety of reasons, she left WWE, never to be heard from again. As such, Brooke and girls like her forever linger in our minds for the big impact they had on us in such a short amount of time.
6. The One You Grew To Like: Kelly Kelly
This is the girl that you probably met in a bar or a nightclub when she was probably surrounded by guys and by the end of the night, you still didn’t know how you felt about her. But then as you began to spend more and more time with her you realized that spending time at those types of places was about as rare for her as it was for you and that she had a lot more to offer than you initially gave her credit for.
This pleasant transformation is indicative of what happened in WWE with Kelly Kelly. When she initially debuted with Kelly’s Expose, Kelly wasn’t really much of a superstar at all but was instead a glorified exotic dancer. However, once she got better in the ring and was given actual storylines, it became apparent that she was actually a fairly talented diva. The fact that she was able to go from Kelly’s Expose to becoming Diva’s champion is another example of the old adage that “you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover”.
5. The Overrated One: Eva Marie
Remember that girl you dated for like a week but never really liked that much? No, but your friends still do. While that uninspiring girl now registers as barely a blip on your radar, it doesn’t stop your friends from bringing her up and drooling over her on a regular basis. In fact, they bring her up so much that you can’t help but wonder if there’s something amazing about her that you just missed during your time together. Such is the feeling facing many WWE fans with the companies ardent obsession with Eva Marie.
Despite a complete lack of interview skills and shoddy at best in-ring work, WWE consistently makes it clear that they still have big plans in the works for All Red Everything. This strange phenomenon has left many fans scratching their heads and will likely continue to for the foreseeable future.
4. The One You Were Afraid Of: Chyna
Easily the most awkward entry on this list is the girl that you are afraid of. Whether it is for more subtle reasons or the simple fact that she could probably beat you up, these instances certainly make for umm interesting relationships. Of course, the best example of this event in WWE was with the 8th Wonder of the World, Chyna. Not only did this female competitor dominate many male WWE superstars in the ring, but she also dated some of them (most notably Triple H).
Her actions outside of WWE (if you don’t know what I’m talking about look it up) have kept her from being named to the WWE Hall of Fame, but she was certainly a memorable part of the companies past. Just like the girl that you’re scared of is likely a memorable part of yours.
3. The One You Never Trusted: Eve
Have you ever met that girl that was really nice on the surface, and you never had hard evidence to support your suspicions, but something about her just made her impossible to fully trust. I’ve felt this way about some girls in my life, and I had similar misgivings about Eve Torres during her time with WWE. With no evidence at all to substantiate it, I just had the feeling about Eve that given any opportunity at all that she would leave WWE for greener pastures.
Despite my gut feeling, Eve would have a fairly long run with WWE and would eventually become a two-time Divas Champion. Like with all things, I would advise you to follow your gut feelings when dealing with those girls like Eve who you just don’t think you can trust, even if I was wrong about her!
2. The Cool One: Lita
Only if you’re lucky will you have a chance to date “the cool girl”. This is the girl that you have to yell at your friends about hanging out with even after you break up. In fact, she’s so cool that you better have a damn good reason to have broken up with her in the first place. Lita, during her time with WWE, struck me as this kind of girl. She was talented, easy going, and downright cool in the ring. Not to mention she was clearly not afraid to take some highflying risks.
1. The Perfect One: Trish Stratus
With all its storied history, WWE has been reluctant to name a single superstar who should be considered the greatest of all time. However, WWE has had no qualms about crowning Trish Stratus the greatest WWE Diva of all time, and I think rightfully so.
Trish was the total package with WWE; a talented in-ring performer, more than adequate on the mic, attractive to boot, and an impressive actress. If you are able to find the girl who is similarly the total package you should do what WWE did, stick with her. Instead of running after any new diva with potential who came along, WWE stuck with Trish for years and she constantly rewarded them by continuously upping her game both in and outside the ring. So if you’re lucky enough to stumble upon “the perfect one”, make sure you do what WWE did and stick with her, she’ll only get better with time.