It can be a match made in heaven sometimes. And all it takes is signing up for an account—most of the times, it is free too! The world was first introduced to online dating in 1995 with Match.com, which holds a record of twenty-six million registers since 2002. Plus, it is always counting too. But in 2012, the world got a new dose of online dating and meeting your perfect “match” on September 12th, 2012 when a dating app called Tinder was released.
As of 2014, the app has averaged more than a billion users; officially a new world record with “online dating.” For those of you who do not know what Tinder is…then you have been living under a rock my dear friend. Tinder has become famously and infamously known for the “swiping left” and “swiping right” on a cell phone screen. The app can automatically sync a person’s Facebook profile to their Tinder account if the registered user decides to. Next step (yes, I have used the app before) would consist of anything from “filtering” out your dating preferences from height, weight, ethnicity, non-smoker or smoker, children or no children, and location distance. But usually, at least for my friends who have used to app before, most users go straight to the browsing—aka the swiping left or right (aka “Would you bang” or “Not bang”).
As Tinder progresses into its growing fan base, the dating app has also developed its own reputation of becoming the next “booty call” or “hook up” service. It was one of the reasons why I had deactivated the app a while ago, as well as some of my friends, due to…well…interesting responses we had all received. Fortunately, neither of us had encounters with the weirdos in person; however, many registered users have been a victim of catfishing and put in the most bizarre and scary situations after meeting with their “swiped right” date. So, check out these fifteen stories on the worst Tinder Horror Stories. Nameless are to remain anonymous:
15. She Had Overbooked Herself
It is too good to be true: finally meeting the right girl who has it all; beauty and brains, as well as a steady financial income from a career that she absolutely loves. One of the many male Tinder users had decided to meet with his “match” (aka his swiping right gal) at a local coffee shop. Everything seemed to go well. For starters, neither one of them was catfishing the other. There were no other red flags such as one of them being a sociopath or a straight up psychopath. Or even the “drunk guy” or “drunk girl” because we all know how that could happen sometimes—people having one too many drinks before the big date. As this Tinder matched had progressed, about midway through their first date, another guy had showed up and approached their table. He was waiting for the girl to finish what she had planned out: her date rotation. Literally, she had booked all of her Tinder dates back-to-back, having them meet her at the same coffee shop. Whether she had purposely overbooked herself or not, it is just flat out odd and rude to do so.
Generally, most places outlaw dating a cousin. Yes, it’s sad that there has to be laws against wanting to do your own cousin, but it’s the same reason police officers have to explain to people while driving a car sky high on cocaine is against the law too. Sometimes, depending on the size of a person’s family, they may end up a victim of their circumstances. With Tinder, running into someone that you used to date is bad enough. Running into someone with whom you share DNA is even weirder. When it is your own cousin that you have swiped on, you may want to be a little more discriminate when you are going through the profiles. Whether this story was accidental or not, talk about an awkward conversation at the next family event such as Thanksgiving or Christmas. Unless both parties are purposely avoiding each other. That may be a good idea.
13. He Invited Me Over…And I Had To Cook
Who does not love a guy or gal who can cook? Seriously, everyone does! After this Tinder matched couple had enjoyed a night out of…casual encounters…Tinder Girl wakes up to her date stepping into the bedroom. He informs her that dinner will be ready in a few minutes. She heads downstairs to the loft of his apartment and is not too impressed with what she finds out next. Tinder Guy has a box of frozen French fries displayed in the middle of the table for two. French fries are his favorite meal. A not so fancy schmancy wine and dine. In fact, when Tinder Girl asks where the meal he had prepped is…Tinder Guy then replies that she is going to cook for them. He does not know how to cook, well, anything. Although this story is not too weird, she did go through and cook them his favorite meal in his own apartment. Okay, so it is weird because talk about a game killer.
If looks could only reflect a person’s true colors, then many of us would have checked out sooner than later during a bad first date. A very bad date. When this Tinder matched coupled had decided to keep their first date casual by grabbing coffee, everything seemed fine. Until this Tinder Girl decides to drag the poor guy to the nearest store to go shopping for purses. Yeah, I know, it is shopping and most guys have no choice but to go and wait for the girl; but when it becomes a habit…on the first date…the guy should have checked out sooner.
He blames it on his good patience tolerance level and the fact that he is not too wise. So, technically, he had screwed himself over. They did grab coffee and things had only taken a toll on their already strained and potential relationship when this Tinder Girl started going on and on about her family’s financial struggles, and her ex-boyfriends, as well as their future together. Tinder Guy was smart enough to decline, something that she was not going to accept. Instead, she had insisted for him to see her once more. But, he was lucky due to an upcoming trip overseas. However, she had called him nonstop during his vacation. In fact, it is said that she still texts him every so often…and he responds because, well, perhaps that is him just being a nice dude.
11. Meet The Family
Boy sees girl. Boy swipes right. Girl responds. Girl also likes. These two kids decide to plan a day to spend time to getting to know each other. Girl tells boy that her entire family knows about their Tinder date. Right up until this point, things are relatively normal. Women think long term about their romantic relationships and if he is at least reasonably clean, reasonably nice, and reasonably funny, she usually has no problem letting people know that there may be hope she won’t die alone. Eventually, he may end up meeting the family if things go well.
But that is if things go well. Not on the first date. One Tinder user was reported to have her date meet the whole family…on the very first date. Remember that movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days? Well, this is how to lose a guy in less than 10 seconds.
10. The True Cat Lady
If the first Tinder date is no match, whether it went bad or there was no connection with the other person, it does not mean you quit. This Tinder Guy had decided to meet with another matched girl in hopes to develop something more than just being friends. Their first date takes place at a BBQ that some of her co-workers are hosting. Hesitant at first, Tinder Guy ends up going and has the time of his life. Only, his Tinder Matched Girl abruptly leaves in the middle of the event. Left hanging, Tinder Guy decides to go home, until he receives a text message from his Girl—You could have come over. Like a smart guy, he races over to her place. He is greeted by fifteen cats that she owns as soon as he walks in. He is allergic to cats, however, the dude wants to get laid and ends up staying. But she is unresponsive to any of his moves. He ends up leaving after forty-five minutes. The following morning, he wakes up to swollen eyes and has trouble breathing—an allergic reaction to the cats still. He texts his Tinder Girl to lightly joke about the situation, but she never responds. Talk about ghosting.
9. My Girlfriend Had An Account
It is normal that a couple who is dating sometimes has to shake off the moss and grime of an old relationship. It’s normal that an occasional crazy ex will still want to hook up even though they know they are taken. But sometimes, the boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t make things easier.
Boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to finish getting ready for their night out. A phone goes off. He checks to see who is texting him, only to discover that it is not his cell phone which he is holding. It is his girlfriend’s. And nobody is texting or calling her—a “matched” alert bubble pops up on her screen for the Tinder dating app. Perhaps, she had an account before meeting her boyfriend, but it is a red flag if she still has the app on her phone; let alone…is still receiving those alerts. Someone is staying home tonight.
8. The Douchebag
The Big D as in the biggest freaking douchebag ever! After this Tinder Girl had agreed to meet with someone whom she thought was a good guy, she instead had an awkward first date. During their date, she had little to zero communication initiations because he made sure of it. The entire time this Tinder D-bag had ranted on and on how all men are superior and have the power in every aspect in life, while women have an over-the-top emotional reaction to things like the color red. Now, the reason why he is single is certainly no mystery. However, the biggest problem is that he is still out there in the Tinder world, making each new girl in his city wish that she could throw herself off the building after speaking with him for ten minutes. The day that Tinder has a douchebag meter that prevents some men from dating, the better the app will be.
7. She Needed “Friends”
And boy did she really need friends. Like a lot of them too. After this Tinder Guy had accepted a birthday party invite as his first date with, what he thought was that he had seen one of the most gorgeous girls in the history of the world. Right up until that point, his night was going pretty damn well. Until, he had showed up to the party. As soon as he had walked in with his friend (aka his wingman), he had noticed how all of the party guests were guys. No sign of any girls. Once the birthday girl had walked in…solo…she immediately started what ended up being her own personalized version of speed dating. All of the guys there were her “swiped rights” on a terrible version of a Tinder-esque game show where the only prize was a terrible person. Talk about a first impression…
6. She’s A Licker
The common theme throughout these posts is that some behavior is normal under dating circumstances. Talking about world views is fine, but discussing the inferiority of women is not. Maybe getting a bit sexual is completely normal, but discussing a foot fetish may be a little bit out there. The same thing goes for the weird behaviors that we all engage in. Sometimes, it could be just picking things up with your feet or snoring really loud. In this case, this woman had a problem with licking.
Again, licking is not the worst thing in the world on a date. The problem is that her licking came at times when it was totally inappropriate for her to do so. Just imagine the stars, laughs, and horror stories this Tinder Guy will have to live with the rest of his life. Instead of laughing at his pain, have a little sympathy for dating a Licker.
5. She Had ‘Daddy’ Tattoos
Now this one is a train wreck! Although the red flags were all there, this Tinder Guy was willingly to sit and listen through anything in order to get laid. Yeah, how cliché, but his matched Tinder Girl…is something else. As soon as he met her, he had noticed her multiple “daddy” tattoos—literally they said “daddy”—as well as accepted the fact that she was a so-called lesbian. All she wanted was to get laid, so it could seem like the ultimate gold reward on both ends. However, the red alarms kept going off, such as her leaving during the middle of the night without saying goodbye or how during their continuous hook ups, she had warned him to never look at her. It started to become a tireless routine, until one day when Tinder Guy’s roommate broke some news of the girl: she was known for being mentally unstable, as well as destroying cars back in his hometown. That was the last straw and Tinder Guy started rejecting her invites. Only, she did not get the hint and texted and called him repeatedly, informing him that he had used her as a piece of meat.
4. The Hangover
Some of us should really listen to our mother and their mothers when they tell us girls to never be the drunk girl ever. Like ever. After picking up his Tinder Girl from her apartment for their first date, these two hit up a dive bar called Max’s. She finishes an entire champagne bottle herself within the hour. Red flag much? But the guy decides to overlook it, thinking that his new friend just wants to have fun. Their next event could possibly sober her down—shopping. However, as soon as Tinder Guy parks the car, he finds his Tinder Girl peeing behind the car…his car. After coughing up more than a grand on dresses at the shop, Tinder Girl has to pee again but is declined. She has an accident and has to buy a new pair of pants. The entire night consists of multiple fast food pit stops and babysitting a drunk girl. She comes home with the guy, only to throw up, piss some more, and pass out. The following day, she wants to hang out but a wise guy would be sure to kick her out for her own good.
3. A Vibrator Got Stuck Up “There”
When two kinky people meet, nothing can go wrong, assuming that they both know the ins and outs of what they are doing. Except in this case. After this couple hit it off on their dinner date, they had immediately rushed back to her place to get down to business. About midway, Tinder Guy had suggested if they spice it up a bit, something that she did not exactly object to. The only item/toy she had around was a vibrator. You can probably connect the dots on what had happened next; however, their night turned into a painful one when the vibrator got stuck in the poor guy’s ass. Trying to remain calm, because the poor guy was paler than a ghost, she attempted to find a way to get the device out of him by doing a Google search. Only, when she had returned to the bathroom, the poor guy had figured out a way himself—he had pulled out the device himself and his asshole was bleeding. He had immediately passed out.
2. He Had A “Crush” Fetish
Girl meets her Tinder date at a local Starbucks. Guy is dressed to the nines and, in fact, avoids drinking and smoking, focused on his career instead of partying. Not to mention his dreams of wanting to become a meteorologist and how he is super close to his family. They have a conversation that last for hours. So, why not talk about a second date? And then, he had opened his mouth. The dude went on how most men are into certain body parts of a woman, but he is not. He is different. He opens up, after some hesitation to the girl, how he has a fetish that most people are not too familiar with. So, when the Tinder Girl asks, Tinder Guy takes out his phone and pulls up Google. And there are the pictures of what a “crush fetish” truly is—people stepping and/or stomping on a poor animal until it dies…and getting aroused by doing so. She ditched the date right away, but did hear from this guy with a fetish months later, begging her to pay him so he could “crush.”
1. He Peed On Me
Most anyone over the age of 21 has some sort of drunk story. It’s the kind of story where you have your sober friends describe it to you and all you can think is 1. “How did I not get arrested?” 2. “How do I get out of jail?” Or 3. “God, help me,” I will never live that down. This poor Tinder Girl had to deal with the aftermath of her date being in the “God, help me,” category.
After telling her that he was “going to make her bleed,” he took her outside against a wall to kiss her. Drunk, she kissed back. He then leaned up against her. She thought he was leaning in for another kiss. But alas, she looks down, saw that he had taken out his wang, and was peeing on her. Unfortunately for that man, God only helps the stupid to a degree.