Thanks to several popular Hollywood movies we already have a pretty good idea what fraternities are all about. Frat boys like to drink, get laid, and cause trouble. It’s an exclusive brotherhood that isn’t always easy to get into, but once you’re in, you’ve entered a privileged society of secrets and loyalty.
Keeping the secrets of the house is a top priority, but we’re not going to sugar coat things here. One of the biggest complaints about Greek life is that the houses are disgusting to live in. So we are going to take you through the life of a frat brother; how he lives from day to day, what he does, and what he wishes he never saw. Sure there are perks to being in a house. You get paired up with a sorority at mixers. You meet tons of hotties, and whether it’s a one night stand, or a future wife, you are guaranteed to never be alone. On the other hand, some sororities are pretty gross too, and college is so full of babes, that you don’t necessarily have to be in a frat to get it on.
So, are the perks of the fraternity worth the trouble? We’ve taken true stories from social media, as well as other personal experiences, and compiled this super gross list for you to decide, or reminisce. We are not specific with chapter names or schools, as not to throw our houses under the bus, but the gross details are as real as it gets.
Many houses have chefs that cook food, or food is catered. Other frats hit the cafeteria and order takeout, just depending on funds and the decisions made at chapter. All college food is gross, but that’s the way it is, frat or no frat. What is grosser about Greek life, is when they use food to haze their pledges. Many frats over the years have experimented with buckets. They pee in the bucket, then put rotten food in it, barf in it, pleasure themselves in it, pour in booze, or even poop in it. Once that’s done, they stir it all up and expect the pledge to eat it. And if the pledge barfs, he can just barf right there in the bucket, and then pass the bucket to the next pledge. Sometimes frats are so childish. That’s just like the ketchup, mustard, and salad dressing concoction you made your best friend eat when you were 6, only way grosser.
If you live in a frat house, there is a constant supply of beer. Some campuses have cracked down on beer consumption, and others have gone completely dry, but most frat houses have found some way to get around such rules. The gross thing about the ever-constant supply of beer, is the beer cans. The things reek and attract insects. It’s a smell so foul, you’ll never forget it. During pledge week, that ample supply of cans is thrown at the PC (pledge class). Some houses even blindfold the PC, arm them with plastic lightsabers, and call it Jedi training, but it’s still gross. Especially when leftover fluid, and the occasional soggy cigarette butt comes spraying out of the flying can, and hits your face.
Sometimes chapter houses have some awful priorities. It’s expensive to join frats, there’s no doubt about that, but booze and drugs are expensive too. Maybe they want to spend every last cent on that 15th keg, or more PVC pipe to complete a bong that reaches from the attic to the basement. When the utility bill comes in, it is either paid by the chapter, or sometimes it is discussed at the weekly chapter meeting. We need to pay electric, but how about gas? What’s gas for? Heat. Well, f— that, it’s 60 degrees out! Of course that ignorant statement was made in March, when temperatures can fluctuate 50 degrees. Next thing you know, all your brothers are huddled into one room, relying on each other’s body heat to survive. Just imagine practically spooning your greasy brothers, with snores and farts filling the room. Some frats and sororities have communal sleep rooms on purpose. They’re called cold airs, or sleep porches, and it’s basically an army barracks filled with bunks, and dark, cool air. The cold is believed to ward away germs.
12. Using the Bathroom
This is a gross one, because it seems so easily fixable, right? There is no janitor at a frat house. That also means there’s no electrician, carpenter, plumber or general handyman. So who is going to fix the bathroom stall doors? Who is going to measure, size and install hinges and a new steel plank? That stuff is not cheap, you know. And if somebody’s dad, or an alumnus comes by, they’re just going to laugh at the terrible predicament. This lack of privacy is one of those weird things that some frats believe has the power to bring men closer together. It’s a gross idea, but somehow it works. Soon, you get used to taking a dump, and don’t even realize the door is missing. And it saves time too, you immediately know which stall is vacant, or too filthy to bother with.
Like we mentioned in the intro, pretty much the entire reason why anybody would join a frat is to meet pretty girls. Frats just make it easier to break the ice. You have a date party, formal, or a mixer with a sorority, and you just naturally get to know women. The problem is, some sororities, just like some frats, are known to have unattractive members. Or, if you’re a pledge, you might get setup with an ugly girl on purpose. Hey, we’re not saying that ugly girls aren’t beautiful on the inside, but if you joined a frat, odds are you are a very shallow and insecure dude, so outward images are going to be vital to your self-confidence. Once you get with an ugly chick, the actives will tease you about her forever. They may even sneak into your room, take a picture of you during the deed, and post in on the brotherhood room wall.
When you are in college, whether you decide to be a frat boy or not, you will experience the most bizarre circumstances when it comes to vomit. This fact is amplified if you live in a house full of 50 party dudes, some of whom didn’t even drink in high school. We’re dealing with complete amateurs here, and especially when Greek Week, or a drinking holiday like New Years or St Pats comes along, that frat house is going to be caked in barf. Just imagine sitting on a couch with your brothers watching a ball game and drinking shots, when suddenly one brother grabs the Doritos bag, and barfs in it. Or perhaps you go to bed one night, and feel something wet when your face hits the pillow. Well guess what? Your frat bro drank a fifth of Jack Daniels during the tailgate that morning, and while you were at the game, bro accidentally slept in your bed. He woke up midway through his passed-out nap and barfed all over your sheets.
So maybe you grew up in a home where mommy or daddy always did your laundry, and straightened up your room, and did the dishes and cleaned the toilet. Well, houses, just like dorms, are experiments in filth. How long can you put up with that pile of laundry? How long can that dirty dish of leftover meat sit in the fridge before the mold spores explode all over the place? College, especially freshman year, is gross as far as cleanliness is concerned, but it’s even worse in a frat house, because there are no janitors. In a dorm, janitors come by now and then to clean the community room, They actually show up and mop the floor. They hit up the bathroom stalls, refill the TP, and bleach the shower titles. In a frat house there is no such person. And with 50 dudes around sharing the same space, there is zero accountability, and lopsided leverage when it comes to assigning cleaning duties. If you’re a pledge, you may wind up cleaning all the toilets yourself, and hopefully the bros will let you use a toilet brush and not your personal toothbrush.
Frat boys are known to be pretty popular with the ladies. As mentioned before, certain sororities and certain fraternities have an agreement to hang out with each other and personal unions are developed fairly quickly. But houses are also known for sharing, especially when it comes to women who are very willing. Women can be aggressive, and when a woman with a certain appetite is discovered, it is a brother’s duty to share this information with everyone. Sometime sexual favors are even a part of the sorority hazing process. The next thing you know, a girl is going from brother to brother, and sometimes this is done all at once, in one room, and the crowd can get large. This may sound okay in theory, or pleasant to watch on film, but when you find yourself actually in this situation, it can be very awkward, and extremely degrading, to the point of being gross.
Frat houses and parties are like eggs and bacon, ham and cheese, salt and pepper. The combination is the way that life is meant to be. Sometimes frat parties are the best. You get to meet new people, get wasted, and hopefully wind up in bed with that cute girl you’ve been eyeing for weeks. But other times the party can go wrong. Big time. If somebody starts fighting your bro (usually the same amped-up dude who always starts sh*t) then all the bros have his back, and the whole place can turn into a rumble in a heartbeat. The scuffle is just like a tornado– the longer it lasts, the more devastation occurs. Then once the party hits complete chaos, there’s this drunken violence run-off effect, when even the people who aren’t fighting start breaking stuff. Chairs are thrown through windows, towels are stuffed into toilets and flushed, and once that happens, dudes piss anywhere and everywhere. The morning after can reveal some of the grossest living quarters you could possible imagine.
This is a common occurrence in college dorms, but again, it’s made worse if it’s a frat house. In a dorm, you might have to share a really short supply of square footage with your roommate. It could be like the fricking closet you had back at your mom’s house, and now that’s the amount of space you have to live in. You end up getting creative and building a loft, or something, but basically you’re spending tens of thousands of dollars to simulate the living conditions of a third-world country. Now imagine having even less room, because space is always in shorter supply at a house. Some rooms, especially when sleep porches are involved, are literally the size of a large cupboard. Hopefully the roommate drops out and you have a little more space to play with, and won’t have such a hard time bringing your girl home and having to barter for a vacant room.
As we’ve mentioned, and as most of us knew already, a frat house is a place to party. And if there’s one thing that’s wilder than a keg party, it’s a theme party. Often times frats develop a theme during Greek Week, to bring in more girls, and the place gets nuts. Themes also suggest that the women wear a stylized outfit, which is usually a sexy upgrade from her regular clothing. Animal House, one of the greatest Greek movies of all time, popularized the toga party, and things got creative from there. One popular theme is the beach party. The sisters show up in their bikinis, and the bros wear their trunks. Next thing you know you’re rubbing suntan lotion on a hottie on the roof, and life is good. Things do get sloppy though when the chapter room is filled with a foot of sand. The sand winds up everywhere, in the drinks, the beds, and the toilets. (Many houses avoid the mess and do the less subtle option; the underwear party.) Another messy theme is the foam party. Soapy foam is pumped into the room until it’s up to everybody’s neck. People are getting naked, spilling stuff, getting sick, and peeing in the foam, and nobody knows what the hell is hiding in that stuff until it melts away.
4. Working Out
Much like the cliches in film, there are some physical standards to adhere to when joining a house, no doubt about it. Frats are like a gang, or a cult, and in such social organizations, members generally look rather similar. Some houses are a little easier on the body image stuff, while others are total gym rats and won’t even let you rush unless your biceps are a certain diameter. With that latter house, be careful, because the more in shape bros are, the more belligerent they become when they’re drunk, and the messier their house is kept. The in-shape bros are always working out and sweating, so the whole house smells like dirty socks. Bros will take a shirt soaked in so much sweat, that after it dries, it’s hard as a rock, and has taken the shape of whatever chair it was draped upon. Sometimes the brotherhood room is full of weights, and those benches are never wiped down. Have you ever ran three miles and then sat on a bench? When you stand up you can see a perfect sweat imprint of your butt. Imagine how clean that bench is with 50 messy bros around.
If you live in a house full of dudes, you are eventually going to be at each other’s throats. Sure, there will be some dudes who you love and get along with, but there are always dudes in this world who suck. You are going to get bullied, but you live in a frat house, so it’s not bullying, it’s just bros playing. Such “play” involves stealing each other’s stuff and breaking it on purpose, and another big diss is the infamous prank. One prank that’s rather common, is to get a condom, use it, keep it close-by, and then wait until your least favorite brother goes to sleep. Then slip his iPhone into the condom. It is going to be so messy to even get the phone out of that rubber, and he might just throw the whole phone away. But making somebody go to the Verizon store is torture in itself, and you’ve already been through so much together, so he’ll probably just wash the phone off and use it. Just watch your back for his revenge. Like when you wake up wrapped in cellophane, with the Greek letters branded on you rear end.
From torture to sexual assault, criminal allegations are sadly nothing new to many Greek chapters. Most of the controversies surround hazing, and the secret rituals that take place both during rush week and throughout the year. Paddling each other, another topic from Animal House, is still a very common practice in many sororities and fraternities, but mild physical abuse is just the beginning. Forced eating and drinking are common too, and most of all, there’s mental torture. Some pledges have been tied to trees naked, and left there overnight. In one alleged story, pledges were led into the basement of a house. Gun shots were then heard upstairs and an active came running down the stairs saying he had accidentally killed someone. The pledges were forced to stay cool, clean up the (fake) blood, and carry the rug-wrapped body out of the house. Then they drove into the country and dug a hole for the “dead” brother. The fake event escalated until all of the pledges were crying their eyes out. “Gross” isn’t exactly the right word, but such sadistic mind games are definitely not pleasant.
So you’ve decided to join a frat and it’s already been so much work. You had to come to campus early, interview with the different chapters, small talk, and retell your history in the most delightful way possible, and so on. The fact is, after all of that hassle, it’s kind of hard to walk away. Nobody wants to throw hard work out the window. So what happens? You settle. You end up getting into a house where you’re not really sure if you want to be there or not. That unsure feeling happens to everybody, and that’s what hazing is for. Hazing tactics have been mentioned throughout this list, and there are a bajillion more. Like telling the PC (pledge class) that they’re going camping for a week, and to pack some food. Then when the PC shows up, you make them eat all the food at once and then starve them for a week. Other hazings involve spraying the PC with water, while they drink gallons upon gallons, which has actually killed dudes of water intoxication. And that’s the creative stuff. Other houses just get you drunk and beat the sh*t out of you. Hazings make sure you are in it for good. That you have survived the worst experience of your entire life, and from such tragedy comes strong bonding. You don’t want to walk away after all of that with nothing, and you don’t want to miss your chance to do it back to somebody else. It’s like the Stockholm syndrome on Red Bull, and it the grossest ritual of all time.